Do not under-estimate the effects of post traumatic stress disorder on your after-lymphoma life.
I still get flashes occasionally of stuff after 25 years post-chemo for stage IV. Yesterday I happened to have a meeting near where I got chemo. As I drove past the tall office building, I became nauseated.
Life needs balance
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I found your post very well written with sincerity and passion. Good on you.
My case is different if only in our ages. I am 78 and facing Non Hodgkin's Large B Cell Lymphoma. Started with R-CHOP last July and my body rejected any improvements after 3 doses. Moved on to GEM/OX W/ RITUXIN with the same rejection. Now I am on ASHRAM and have had 2 doses. I am having a PET scan this coming Wednesday and will get the results on Friday. I have been told that if there is no improvement by then, they will stop the chemo and also that there are no other options, short of clinical trials.
I have known that my condition is considered TERMINAL and because of my age (78) bone marrow transplant is not in the cards. So, not sure if I can ever call me a survivor or not, but if I go down, its not without a fight.
Good luck on your journey.
"It is easier to raise good children than to fix bad men" by Fredrick Douglas.
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I had stage IV Hodgkin's when I was 25, and relapsed two years later. I'm 18 months out from a bone marrow transplant and am finally emerging from a "survival only" mindset.
Before I got sick I was a good athlete. I played competitive sports, I had lots of endurance, I ran a marathon with very little training. I never had weight issues or difficulty motivating myself to exercise. Since treatment, I have struggled with having the endurance to get through the day, let alone work in a trip to the gym. Once I do, my workouts are so pitiful they make me want to just give up. The weights I'm lifting now are embarrassingly light, my cardio short and weak.
I would never laugh at or belittle a person who was beginning to exercise and change their life but was forced to take it slow, but I find myself treating myself that way. I think I'm ready to make a change and build be the life I've worked so hard to keep.
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