I've been battling weight issues for more than 20 years. I was always fit and fat, and stayed at 195 lbs for years. I power walked, did aerobics, chased after my young children. But what was missing was the "diet" portion of the equation. I never lost weight, but I could walk for hours. Somewhere along the way I lost the desire to stay fit. I've lost all of my family at early ages, mother at 47, sister at 36, baby brother at 21, and my older brother at 47. All for different health issues, but not obesity. My dad lived to be a ripe old age of 80. I think I've come to the conclusion that I suffer from depression and have been eating myself into an early grave and I have survivors guilt. I've ballooned up to 218 lbs.
Weight charts place me around a healthy 145 lbs. I've become a fast food junkie, eating alone in my car, with my ever present, ever silent, latest paperback novel with me for company. I've battled high blood pressure since my sister passed in 1981. Now I'm pre-diabetic, I wheeze, and I'm a smoker. Addicted to nicotine as well as a closet junk food eater.
I know that these habits are self destructing. But I'm trapped in the not knowing how to fix it. I've realized that the only way to help myself is to accept the help from others that are traveling the same road. My husband is all supporting, but he is and always has been a healthy weight, it's hard for him to know how to help me. My daughters are battling their own weight problems.
Anyhow, I wanted to say hi. I know that by "coming out of the food closet" so to speak, can only mean great things for me. I have to stick close to 1450 calories, stay away from McDonald's and vending machines, and not be afraid to get on my exercise bike for fear of dying of a heart attack. And quit smoking of course. Thanks for all the great e-mails I've already received. I look forward to being a part of the slowest losers club.
Edited by: SASSEEMIS at: 3/2/2012 (19:44)
|784 Days since: Fast Food