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FIEVEL96's Photo FIEVEL96 Posts: 107
6/1/10 8:15 P

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Welcome to SparkPeople!

I am sorry to hear about your divorce & depression. It sounds like you are ready for the track though!

I was pretty out of shape when I started SP (about 3-4 weeks ago). I just started walking, 3 times per week, at least 1 mile. I upped this to 2 miles when I felt ready, then started adding laps of jogging in during that mile & now I am actually jogging a half mile straight (did that today)! Also, strength training has been really good to me! I feel like I am sitting up straighter and am just generally stronger! I have been swimming again (I swam in high school on the team), and it feels so good to be in the water again!

Exercise naturally creates seratonin, which keeps/makes you happy. I have noticed that I am much happier & laid back now than I was before I started a regular workout regimine.

My advice is to start off by picking a few days of the week that you can fit in at least 30 minutes of exercise at the gym. Then pick your favorite thing to do...the one thing that you can "lose" yourself in. Mine is swimming...others do well with running or walking. Focus on doing that task for at least half of the time you are at the gym. Begin incorporating other cardio machines in, along with strength training (that's so important!). Pretty soon you will start to spend lots more time at the gym because you LIKE it! You'll start to feel better about yourself!

But if you do have an illness (as was stated by the person posting previously), you will definitely want to see a doctor first!

Good luck!

SW: 149.2 pounds
MGW: 139 pounds by 11/5/10
CW: 146.2 pounds!!!! (HIT MY GOAL!!!!!)
GW: 122 pounds (by 1/1/11)


 current weight: 129.8 
 
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HHOUSE8's Photo HHOUSE8 Posts: 483
6/1/10 7:43 A

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Hi Skinnyinayear -

Sorry to hear your sad tale. Sounds like it's been a rough ride for the last year or so. I'm no expert on what you should do, yet I can share what's worked for me. When you said you had a huge gut and your face was puffy, first thing I thought was 'candida albicans'. Every thing else you describe fits it too. The liver, sleep disturbance, depression etc. Not sure about the acid reflux, though I wouldn't be surprised. Most doctors don't see it as an issue, yet many naturopaths specialize in it. If you're open to looking outside of the traditional medical approach, you might want to find a good naturopath in your area. (A licensed naturopath, not just a supplement salesperson.) If you can't find one, I know a couple who will work long distance with your blood work and a full health history. Google Candida Albicans and see if it fits you. Once you know what's going on, get on the right supplements and changes in your diet to stop feeding the candida (if this is what the problem is) you'll start feeling better soon. Take care of YOU right now. If your marriage is meant to be restored, that can happen with time. A little marriage sabbatical can be a good thing. After 7 years divorced (with a 2nd marriage in between!) my first husband and I are trying to work things out. Time will tell. For now, all that matters is taking care of you - body, mind and spirit.

Good for you for reaching out! Spark People is wonderful that way. Take good care. SparkMail me if you want recommendations for naturopaths.
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 current weight: 204.5 
 
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SKINNYINAYEAR Posts: 9
6/1/10 12:08 A

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Hello All! I do apologize if this post becomes lengthy......

I have been with my wife for 23 years. We have never had a "Camelot" type of marriage but I never thought for one minute we'd end up divorced. We dated in high school, married at 21 and achieved quite a lot in life. We have two wonderful sons etc....

In 1995 we moved from our home town and spent 13 years away from home. In early 2008 we were fortunate to get to move back home and I thought life would be fantastic. We'd be able to spend time with our families and our parents would finally get to be FULL-TIME grandparents. Our home sold quickly and we were able to start home shopping nearly instantly. That's when the trouble started.

In early 2008 (January) I noticed I was exhausted nearly 24 hours per day. I developed a cough that lasted nearly 1 full year. I developed a terrible case of acid reflux and I became miserable. All I could do is work/eat and sleep sleep sleep.

I know I must have been miserable to live with as I was NO HELP AT ALL to my wife. Several nights I woke up in my office at 2am as the night cleaning crew was leaving. I could not explain what was happening to me. Occasionally my job requires me to drive about 200 miles to meetings. I would have to pull over and turn my cell phone alarm clock on just to get a quick "power nap"... I was scared to death. When I could sleep, the acid reflux would wake me up as I was suffocating to catch my breath.

I went to the doctor and he told me point blank "if you don't want to be honest with me, I can't help you"...What I said! He said my liver tests showed that of a man that drank daily. That was odd since I may have drank a gallon of whiskey and 100 beers my entire life. I had a brother killed by a drunk driver and I don't touch the stuff.

Finally, in late 2008 I took a sleep study and was diagnosed with severe sleep apnea. I got a CPAP breathing machine but it too me about 6 months to adapt to it.

Fast forward to March 2009. I had gone from a 245 pound man (sure-overweight but tolerable) to a 316 pound confused, exhausted man.

Well, one Tuesday night around 11pm, half asleep on my couch I witnessed my very fit and healthy, fitness minded wife stop what she was doing and she just stood there (thinking I was asleep) and looked at me in disgust. I just went back to sleep.

The next week I came home from work late, sat down for dinner and she turned to me with tears flowing down her face and said "I can't live like this any longer" I love you but I'm not in love with you".

She stated that if I could could work on myself, MAYBE we could work on our marriage. Well, I tried to lose weight but my mental state was out of wack.

Now I'm 43 and divorced and incredibly depressed. Unfortunately, our relationship has turned very sour and we rarely speak.

While I believe marriage is a sacred pledge, I understand her misery.

This morning I weighed in at 294 pounds. Sure, I'm down 22 pounds but I lost most of that (from 316 to 294) due to simply being depressed.

My gut is huge and my face is "puffy".

I have access to a gym with a pool and every machine and free weight known to man. I really feel driven but I simply don't know what to do. Any advice?




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