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Welcome to the group. I'm trying to start working on myself too. I let my life get away from me over 10 years ago when I was medically discharged from the military. I've been on all those same meds plus a few and my goal is to get off them. Feel free to add me as a spark friend
~Reed City, MI~
Sound like you have been under some stress.
It is too bad that your husband has leukemia.
Do you think there may be some codependency also? I read a book many, many years ago called:
CODEPENDENCY NO MORE.
I would recommend it if you think this might be an issue in your relationship.
Good luck on balancing loving your husband and loving yourself. Sometimes it is not an easy task.
"It's not how old you are, it's how you are old."
"I am still learning." Michelangelo
I've been married six and a half years, and in that time, I've gained 60 pounds, begun taking sleeping pills, begun taking anti-depressant pills, begun taking high blood pressure meds, and begun taking cholesterol meds. The stress and the anxiety over my husband's incurable leukemia diagnosis six years ago has changed my life and my world, but I've now realized that it's killing me. I have decided to focus on me, and I've decided that I come first, not the house, not picking up after my hubby, not taking over even more bills of his and more chores of his. I'm taking a college class, one of the last four I have to earn my bachelor's degree, I'm exercising one hour each day in order to lose weight, and that comes first. What I did before I got married was take care of myself, my own bills, my own house and one acre, my own repairs and maintenance and my own hiring. Now I get upset when he sits there and watches tv, have taken on $35,000 of his IRS bills from before the marriage, and have supported him financially during surgeries and procedures in which he is off work without pay.