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DIGGING2GRAVES SparkPoints: (0)
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1/28/12 3:24 P

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Thanks HBO for the warm welcome!
Thanks Classylady for sharing your experience about forgiveness!
Thanks Lynda for your insight and encouraging words!

My therapist told me that exercise was a great way to vent out frustration and anger over my situation, even told me think about taking up boxing or running, and that makes sense and even a little more motivating than thinking about losing weight, etc. This is a good site with the tools and resources, but from what I've read about the community and the responses from other members makes it a great site, so thanks again!

LYNDALOVES2HIKE's Photo LYNDALOVES2HIKE Posts: 33,955
1/27/12 10:46 P

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emoticon - I'm so glad you've found us!!

I am so sorry you've had to go through this and I know your pain must seem overwhelming, not to mention the fear, anger, loneliness and feelings of betrayal. But this is NOT YOUR FAULT and it has nothing to do with whether you are attractive or not attractive or anything else. If your spouse had integrity, he would have first tried to work out the problems with you, then if that didn't work and there was absolutely no hope, he would have gotten the divorce and settled everything BEFORE dating - the fact that he cheated on you tells me that he is concerned only about himself and as painful as it seems right now, you may very well be relieved and maybe even happy that you're getting a new life now. But - I do 'get it' and know the grief, pain, fear, anger and all the other emotions are going to dominate for awhile before any joy can take over.

I'm so glad you have found us and are willing to share yourself - that will help a lot. I'm also very, very glad you have such a wonderful sister to take you to the Bahamas - wow, what a great trip! I hope you have the best time ever and while I know most of us would rather look good in a bathing suit than think we look like a frump, i hope you can let your INNER BEAUTY shine and honest, when we do that people actually forget to check whether we 'look good in a bathing suit' or not!
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Lynda in Orange County, So Calif

***********************

God Grant me Serenity to Accept the things I cannot change, Courage to Change the things I can and Wisdom to Know the difference!

Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out. -- John Wooden

"Winners are not those who never fail, but those who never quit."


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HBOWATCH's Photo HBOWATCH Posts: 1,094
1/26/12 12:52 P

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emoticon to the team! Eating right and getting fit should make you feel much better for your upcoming trip.

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. ~Aristotle
CLASSYLADYMAY's Photo CLASSYLADYMAY Posts: 6,781
1/26/12 9:13 A

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Welcome to the team!! I know in time you will be able to forgive and once you do you will began to heal and be much better.. i know cause my husband left me for another woman.. many many years ago.. BUT 2 years later i took him back.. talked and talked and we are together and very happy.. and no worries.. not saying that will happen to you.. but you have to forgive ... when that time comes you will be a happier person

loving myself as i am beautiful inside and out!!! Think positive .. you can do it!!!..... i do care.��Life is not easy for any of us, but what of that? We must have perseverance and, above all, confidence in ourselves.� � Don't give up we all can do this!!
Lost 110 pounds so far! i am loving it!
I am now exercising 50 mins a day working up to 60 ! Keeping active is so important!
classylady~Geri


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DIGGING2GRAVES SparkPoints: (0)
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1/26/12 12:29 A

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I'm rebounding from a marriage broken by my former spouse's infidelity. It has changed my life forever and as we have children together - it seems like I have to relive the pain and humility over and over again with being forced to deal with said cheater - and I will have daily reminders of not only a broken heart, but a broken self. On top of the sneaky grief that creeps upon me almost every day - it gets to feeling overwhelming having to deal with the esteem issues, self doubt, self hate and discovery of an ego I thought I never had. During counseling, I've been told to take a walk outside in the sun? - but to be honest, I am questioning the validity of my former perception of my own attractiveness - and while thinking about my appearance may seem superficial, I weigh on the pros that tackling something tangible might help distract me and hopefully help me find confidence in getting over my other problems, such as the sense of loss and heartache I've had.

Aside from my anonymous confession here, the only other people I've confided in as to the truth why my marriage ended are my therapist and sister. Even though I secretly believe that in order to survive as a victim of infidelity requires a good stroking to my ego - a more tangible reason is wanting to look decent in pictures as I received a generous "cheer up" gift from my sister; she has booked us a trip to the Bahamas in August - and while I hate to say it, I don't believe any woman could really enjoy such a trip if she can't pull off at least one bathing suit.

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