Hello Spark People of the world. My name is Kristin the word fat defines me pretty well but I want to redefine myself and stop calling myself fat. All our lives our teachers and friends have asked us to describe ourselves in one word. Well, all my life I've come up short. I've never been able to describe myself but and I'm not quite sure who I'm suppose to be. On the other hand the I've always been good at describing the unflattering traits I believe that I am such as; fat, lazy, ugly, slob, unworthy, ect. I know I am not those things and I don't want to fall short of what God has meant me to be. Therefore, I've decided to make healthy choices with the hope that I can become a better person inside and out.
As a child I was very thin. In my teens I gained a lot of weight due to a lot of problems in my life. I weighed 160 lbs when I was just 11 years old and when I turned 12 years old I decide I would loose it I lost 40lbs by the time I was 14 and I weighed 120lbs. I kept my weight off until the age of 19 when I got pregnant for my first child. I had my Daughter just a month before my 20th birthday and I've been fat again ever since.
I gained some weight before my pregnancy because my husband loves to eat junk food in front of me but to be completely honest it was my own fault. When I first got pregnant I weighted 140lbs. I then went and put on about 30 lbs throughout my pregnancy. Near the end of my pregnancy I was up to 170lbs. I thought that was insane that I could weigh that much!! That was more than I weighed when I gained all that weight the first time. So I decided I would get that weight off after I had my daughter but it was really hard having a newborn and staying home all day by myself so I actually ended up putting on weight.
My daughter is nearly two years old and I now weigh 180 - 185 lbs it varies. I'm just getting bigger so I know I need to do something. I lost weight after my daughter was born and I was down to 160lbs but I gave up and decided it wasn't worth it.. and accepted the fact that I would always be fat.. but I didn't intend to get BIGGER!!! I've kind of always been in this viscous circle of gaining and loosing weight. As soon as I build myself up and feel good I hear these voices telling me, " you can't do this it's too hard and your wasting your time". Now when I think of it that's ridiculous because I was doing it, I was losing weight so well, and every time I hit a 10lb mark I pig out. and gain what I lost plus more.
I hope to learn to eat healthier I've already taken some steps with exercising and eating better and I've realized truly how out of shape I really am
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