So sorry to hear what you are going through. I come from a small town where everyone knows everyone else's business even if it isn't the truth. If the next town over is close enough to go to then maybe that is where you need to focus on taking back control of your life. Get involved in something that means something to you and gives you purpose...whether that is a church, finding somewhere to volunteer or finding a weight loss or exercise group. It sounds like you need some kind of outlet that you can look forward to.
Aside from that there is always here! Lots of wonderful, caring people are members of sparkpeople!
| current weight: 213.8