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10/14/12 7:27 P

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I am tired all the time.

I am tired of feeling fat and gross and seeing my chubby stomach sticking out under my shirt.

I am tired of literally being tired because I don't treat my body well and it (for good reason) doesn't have the energy it should.

I am tired of hanging out with all my skinny healthy friends and being embarrassed standing next to them. We are thinking of going on a cruise with friends in February and I just can stand the though of being in my bathing suit in front of them. I don't want my husband and I to be the fat couple!!

I am tired of knowing that my poor choices influence and add to my husband's poor choices and his weight gain.

I want to change. A few years ago (with the help of SparkPeople) I lot 15 pounds and swore I would never go back to my start weight. I am not back at that weight and cannot seem to stop the slide I am on.

It is time to change. In the next year or so we will probably try to have a baby and I know if I don't make this change now it is going to be even harder later!!

Its not going to be easy. In May I broke my elbow and had to get it replaced (ouch!) I have been struggling to recover and get to a point where I can work out without pain. This has really hindered me because too much movement makes my arm scream. I can do a lot of the things I enjoy, like yoga, that put weight on my arm. I am getting ready to have another surgery on Nov 1 and I am concerned that I will turn into an eating blob on the couch and pack on even more weight.

I am looking to the Spark Community to help! I know that I can be successful again if I commit myself and get good support.

I can do this. I must do this. I can do this.

 current weight: 177.8 
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