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TOPIC:   Help! I live with 3 men! 


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HLFPNTSH
HLFPNTSH's Photo SparkPoints: (75,188)
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6/21/11 3:35 P

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Making Time For Yourself...Without the Guilt

Many of us are super busy, trying to balance work and family, not to mention household chores or errands. Unfortunately, often our own needs and wants fall by the wayside. But the reality is that in order to perform all your duties every day, sometimes you need a little bit of a break and that's where 'Me Time' comes in.

We all need and deserve some time for ourselves each and every day. It does not have to be long--sometimes even 5 or 10 minutes is enough time to rejuvenate and recharge our batteries. So from a cup of tea, to a good book, to a half hour walk, or a bubble bath or anything in between, let's all make an effort to incorporate 'Me Time' into our schedules.

1. Mind set: realize everyone needs some downtime:

Sometimes it's hard not to be a 'super person' who is constantly on the move. Instead, we all need to take a break. Everyone needs a break now and then and it's important to recognize when you are feeling stressed, tired, or anxious. Taking time for one's self daily will help lessen the possibility of burnout, stress, and anxiety.

2. Delegate:

Not every chore or errand must be handled by you. Spouses, teenagers, older children, and even friends or neighbors can handle some of the daily activities around the house. For example, your spouse may agree to clean up the kitchen after you have made supper. Children may agree to help clean the bathroom or their own bedrooms each week. Teenagers may help by looking after younger siblings or if they have their driver's license may be willing to pick up dry cleaning or run to the store. We must keep in mind, of course, that people are not mind readers. They must be asked politely to help out around the house.

3. Find an activity you enjoy:

You must find an activity you enjoy, so you might want to join a hobby group or organization. Most of all you should be doing an activity (crafts, baking, gardening, physical activity, etc.) that you enjoy. If you do not enjoy it, will it really seem like a break or a reward for all your hard work?

4. Use as a reward:

After a hard day at work or doing housework, use 'Me Time' as a reward or relaxation. You deserve a nice break, so make some time for you every day. Set up a system that gives you, for so many hours worked or so many chores accomplished, an appropriate much-liked activity.

5. Use `found' time:

If you ever find yourself waiting in line at the grocery store, killing time waiting for a load of laundry to finish, waiting on hold on the phone, or sitting at a doctor's office waiting for your appointment, that is all 'Found time.' An extra five or ten minutes, instead of using for another errand or chore, can be for allowing yourself a few minutes to rest and relax. You might want to try reading a book or magazine, knitting, or solving a crossword puzzle.

6. Multi-task your 'Me Time':

Multi-task your 'Me Time' by allowing yourself time to rest while supper is in the oven or slow-cooker cooking or while clothes are in the washer or dryer. Another way you can multitask your time is by allowing yourself some time in the kitchen baking (if it is your passion or hobby) while baking cookies for your son or daughter's bake sale.

7. Hire help:

Sometimes in order to squeeze out a few extra minutes a day, we must hire help. For example, a neighborhood teenager may be willing to help with outdoor chores, walk the dog, or baby-sit. The 5 or 10 dollars is a great investment, if it helps you find time for yourself.

8. Do something nice for someone else:

Sometimes we want to find more time to contribute to various charities or to volunteer with an organization. Allow that to be your time away. It can be as simple as someone who enjoys knitting making hats for newborns in the hospital or baking for a bake sale at a local church or organization.

9. Find a partner or someone to make you accountable:

If you are finding it difficult to make 'Me Time' a habit or part of your routine, designate a partner or a best friend who can make you accountable. 'Me Time' must become a part of your daily life or routine. Remember to make it a habit (which takes 21 days, so give it time).

There are many ways to enjoy your 'Me Time' while allowing yourself not to feel guilty and keeping in mind the above guidelines. You just need to remember the saying, 'You are important, and you must take care of yourself in order to help take care of others.'

So take a break and enjoy a few minutes just for you every day! Your body, mind, and soul will appreciate it.


When life hands you trouble slow down and stop to smell the roses. Life is so short, live like today is the last day of your life. Enjoy.
My name is Sherry and I am from Erie, PA but live in Ijamsville, MD for the time being.


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GLADGAD
GLADGAD's Photo SparkPoints: (35,022)
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6/21/11 2:11 P

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You can also take the tough love approach. Give them a deadline for one specific area to be cleared out for each person. Let them know that if they don't do it by then, you will do it yourself and you will not be concerned about what is thrown away. If they don't keep up their end of the bargain, keep up yours. You will get a lot of grief, but hold your ground. Calmly show them the next area they need to clear and the deadline to do so. They will change when they start seeing their cherished possessions disappearing!

Edited by: GLADGAD at: 6/21/2011 (14:12)
-Carolyn

"God gave you your body as a gift, so you should take care of it." - My Mom


HLFPNTSH
HLFPNTSH's Photo SparkPoints: (75,188)
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6/21/11 11:55 A

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I am a very neat and organized person and my DH is the opposite. I am always downsizing.

When life hands you trouble slow down and stop to smell the roses. Life is so short, live like today is the last day of your life. Enjoy.
My name is Sherry and I am from Erie, PA but live in Ijamsville, MD for the time being.


 current weight: 141.0 
 
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MIAJOEB
MIAJOEB's Photo SparkPoints: (172,379)
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6/21/11 11:09 A

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When the other is not concerned or interested sometimes a suggestion that they could get money for some of the items on E Bay or craigslist. But I have found that if I just do my space, I feel better and I have gotten rid of things that my sons left when they left home.
They took it to their houses. Also there were things that just got put to the side and never thrown out or given away. Hubby even caught the bug.. He did not want me throwing out his stuff and boxed every thing he wants to keep and put it in the garage.
But there were things he never used and threw out like hundreds of tapes.
He transfered to CD's

But mostly get to all your own clutter and keep up on what you have already done.
Do not let them encroach on your space with new stuff.
I keep my counters clear every day. Make sure the dishes are done,
the floor swept and vacuumed and when things are left out... put them in a a box marked if not claimed within a week off to Good Will.. Good Luck
I too have some boxes to go through. It is hard to get rid of yarn that I know I would have to repurchase because I am always crocheting something.
But I am going to give some of the yarn to a teen who just learned to crochet.
Maria

Sing to the Lord a new song, for he has done marvelous things:... Psalm 98

Therefore we do not lose heart. Though... we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day my day....So fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. for what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal
2 COR 16-18

Doing nothing is the most perfect form of action, when I do nothing there is nothing left undone and there is nothing left to do.... The Way by Lao Tse


 
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NANFACEMIRE1
NANFACEMIRE1's Photo Posts: 21,648
6/21/11 10:59 A

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Maybe you could pass along the "declutter 20 minutes a day" to your guys. Tell them how important it is to you to get everything in order. By going at it slow and easy they may at least make an attempt. Have a reward at the end for all of the good the 4 of you do. Good luck. Nancy

Nancy - from Virginia

2013 Ruby-lite of the Year
Co-leader of SP class of June 5-11, 2011
Co-leader of Rootin" for Ruby


 
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PAPERCLIPSUE
PAPERCLIPSUE's Photo Posts: 292
6/21/11 10:31 A

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I am a 61 year old, retired school teacher. The three men are my husband and 2 adult sons. We are all clutterers, but I have been decluttering my own stuff for several months--if that gives you an idea of how bad it is. I still have more to go, but only 6 bins of stuff.

Any suggestions on how to get my men to cooperate. They are not interested at all.

I need encouragement to keep decluttering and to get physically fit. I think both will help my attitude. (Which isn't the greatest right now.)

I have adopted one of your goals: To declutter an area for 20 minutes daily.

Hope to hear from you.

The reason a dog has so many friends is that he wags his tail instead of his tongue.


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