The unhappiness with my weight is because I have been smaller and enjoyed it and thought I looked my best. I don't want to be chained to food and have it control me, and I know that if I can work through my issues, the weight won't even matter any more. I don't like being controlled by chocolate, even though it's the one thing I can't live without, or grazing out of boredom. I would really like to to walk away from the food thoughts in my head. Easier said than done, I know.
Anyways, this lady kind of gets where I'm trying to go with all this....
Welcome Leafy Greens. It sounds like you've done a lot of reading! I am a grazer too, but I guess you when things are going well you would call me a 'planned grazer'. I enjoy eating between meals so I just plan for that. I am not someone who can exist only eating 3 meals a day so I do not try to.
That said, eating to pass the time is not an activity that anyone wants to do. Lately I have been journaling my thoughts and feelings when I eat. What am I feeling before I go for the food? What is it I'm eating and what am I asking the food to do for me? These thoughts have helped me to understand what feelings I am trying to get out rahter than stuff inside with food. Once I get through those I plan to work on (one at a time) what I want to do to resolve these feelings. I don't expect anything to change overnight but I do want to become more aware and empowered over the feelings that drive me to eat.
I would agree that the 'farmers hours' are rather unrealistic. At the same time I close down my kitchen at 8 PM- I find after 8 I am eating to feed tiredness though I don't go to sleep for a few hours afterward.
Lastly to me, your weight/height ratio seems like a normal healthy level. I know that we all have our own expectations of what we should like and what size we should be. It sounds like you are well within the appropriate BMI range for your height. What is making you uncomfortable with your size?
If you win 51% of the battles you have won the war.
SparkPeople, SparkCoach, SparkPages, SparkPoints, SparkDiet, SparkAmerica, SparkRecipes, DailySpark, and other marks are trademarks of SparkPeople, Inc. All Rights Reserved. No portion of this website can be used without the permission of SparkPeople or its authorized affiliates.
SPARKPEOPLE is a registered trademark of SparkPeople, Inc. in the United States, European Union, Canada, and Australia. All rights reserved.