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MS_BARI's Photo MS_BARI SparkPoints: (1,535)
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11/18/13 7:33 P

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sorry wrong forum

Edited by: MS_BARI at: 11/18/2013 (19:43)
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10/14/13 10:58 A

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Thank you so much for sharing and for all the info and for those links. I will check them out when I can spend time doing so.

I don't even live in a town. I live outside a tiny town ... pop about 3000, then the "big" city I live near is about an hour away. I could check there for help... and I think I'll make an appt. with my family doc as well... see what he says or recommends.

I hope you have a great day out and about. :)

~~ Renee' ~~ Hula Girl at Heart ~~
Casual Traveler - Central Time (AR, USA)

Be whoever you are extremely loud and be completely fearless when you do it. ~Gerard Way

Highest Weight: 252 in Nov 2012
1/1/14 - 226.5
5/28/14 - 199


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MILLERISHEALTHY's Photo MILLERISHEALTHY Posts: 5,948
10/13/13 10:45 P

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I can understand your hesitancy to to take meds, especially in view of the fact that your mother doesn't seem to have been helped by them. As you said, you wonder how she would be without them - it's possible she would be much worse. The medications I take now are at such a low dose (due to my sensitivity to side effects) that I'm not receiving a great deal of help from them. That said, they did save my life and my sanity when I was in my twenties and I do believe they improve the quality of my life now.

As far as who to see or how to go about looking into CBT or maybe trying a medication, you could start with your family doctor and see if he or she could recommend you to someone. I know some people see the family doctor for treatment for anxiety or depression, and that's fine if it's caused by something temporary. I, personally, feel that when the problem is long-lasting and chronic, a person is better off to see someone who specializes in treating the condition. For medications, you would need to see a psychiatrist, as they're also medical doctors and can prescribe. For simply CBT, a psychologist or maybe even a therapist of some sort would do.

It's been so many years since I had Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, that I'm not sure if my old CBT therapist is still practicing. If I decide to get some more CBT, I'll probably begin by searching online for psychologists in my area who have CBT training. I live in a smaller-sized town, but there's a bigger one very close by and I'll probably Google something like - psychologists CBT & the bigger town name. Then when names of psychologists come up, I'll check and read reviews about each particular one and then review their websites and try to make an appointment with one that has good reviews.

Another Sparker recently shared with me, and other team members, a couple of websites that help people with anxiety and/or depression issues. She said they were CBT sites, but I haven't had a chance to really explore them. She's getting a great deal of help and insights from the work she's doing on them, so it might be worth a look. I've added them below just in case you'd like to peruse them. I think they're both free.

I hope things get better and brighter for you soon and that you find just the right treatment avenues to help you. I'm going out of town tomorrow and my internet connection may be spotty, but if I decide to re-start CBT, I'll let you know how it goes.

Blessings,

Miller emoticon

ecouch.anu.edu.au/
Here's a description for ecouch - e-couch is a self-help interactive program with modules for depression, generalised anxiety & worry, social anxiety, relationship breakdown, and loss & grief.

It provides evidence-based information and teaches strategies drawn from cognitive, behavioural and interpersonal therapies as well as relaxation and physical activity.

moodgym.anu.edu.au/welcome
Here's a description for moodgym - Learn cognitive behaviour therapy skills
for preventing and coping with depression.

Edited by: MILLERISHEALTHY at: 10/13/2013 (22:54)
"The present is what slips by us while we’re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
Leigh Hunt

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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OHANAMAMA's Photo OHANAMAMA SparkPoints: (99,611)
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10/13/13 5:13 P

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Thank you!

While I don't wish this on anyone... it is good to know I'm not alone.

I'm 48. I was a stay home wife & mom until my youngest started school... so that was from about 1987/8 until 2005. During that time, I got fat (always been big... but this was FAT) and I withdrew. We needed the money so when my youngest started school, I started subbing. I don't any more though, but that's about when I started working part time jobs again. And it is hard at times, depending on who I'm dealing with. At one of my jobs I am totally alone, and I like that... at the other I'm often alone or with just one other co-worker whom I love... and then court day, which is, thankfully, only twice per month. For the most part I do ok on court day in spite of my issues, but still have occasional times when I really need OUT, but I can't, I really don't have a choice, and I end up going to the bathroom to regroup and calm down. I would give nearly anything to be able to stay at home again. I miss it so much.

I've been thinking I might need to take something. Not too long ago I had a major episode, panicked, and now all I do is dwell on the regret. Also prior to that one of my job descriptions was changed behind my back and all I could think of is that they hate me... and the change was to force me to speak in front of a crowd of people at a business meeting once per month. I came unglued. I was ready to quit... and I wish I could, still. But I spoke with someone and have it worked out so that I'm just there, but I don't speak... I answer questions, of which there aren't hardly any that ever come up. There are some people and some circumstances that set me off as well... and I have to escape. There are times when I feel more panicked and alone in a crowd of so-called "friends" than I ever have being alone at home.... I like being alone, to be honest. :)

Anyhow.. sometimes I think ... I can handle this... and then I have a bad episode and think I need help, meds, something. One reason I have avoided meds is because my mother suffers from severe depression and anxiety (been hospitalized twice, if I remember right... last time was about 12 years ago) and has taken pretty much everything they've come up with... and still does, yet she doesn't seem to be improving... Then I wonder what she would be like if she didn't take all those meds. ... she's been on something or another for many many years.

I have never had CBT, but I have heard of it... and wonder if it might help me. Who would I go see for something like that? Who do I need to see anyhow... my family doc? I don't know who to go to or where to start for some real help.

Thank you so much for sharing your experience with me. I appreciate it more than you know.

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~~ Renee' ~~ Hula Girl at Heart ~~
Casual Traveler - Central Time (AR, USA)

Be whoever you are extremely loud and be completely fearless when you do it. ~Gerard Way

Highest Weight: 252 in Nov 2012
1/1/14 - 226.5
5/28/14 - 199


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10/13/13 8:21 A

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emoticon Welcome, Renee!

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MILLERISHEALTHY's Photo MILLERISHEALTHY Posts: 5,948
10/12/13 8:33 P

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Hi Renee, I could have written your first paragraph myself. I do exactly the same thing - I avoid social situations and then when I am around people, I either don't talk or I talk too much and too loud in order to cover up my fear - kind of like whistling in the dark. Afterwards, I mentally beat myself up for "looking and sounding stupid" and I review the situations over and over over in my head for days and months and years - just like you.

An old friend asked my husband about me the other day - he was wondering why I never want to get together. My husband explained how agonizing it is for me during and after being social and how I always feel like I'm stupid and the friend said, "that's ridiculous!" People just don't understand it unless they've been this way.

You're right - it's no way to live and I hate it and would LOVE to be different. The only time I didn't have this problem socially was when I was really pumped with heavy-duty medications after a mental hospitalization for the OCD in my late twenties (I'm 59 now). I do still take a small amount of medication for depression & anxiety, but it's vastly under-treated. I've tried every medicine in the world practically (I'm in the process of getting off one I tried right now) but I'm very sensitive to side effects and haven't found anything much I can tolerate.

I guess I've lived a pretty normal life, too. I've been married for 37 yrs. and have one child who's 22 now. I worked for about 20 years and then became a stay-at-home mom at 37 (when I had my daughter).

The reason I'm sharing all this is to let you know that you are not alone - I feel your pain. One thing that does seems to help is to change the direction of my thoughts every time I find myself dwelling or reviewing or replaying. I don't practice that enough, though. Probably having some Cognitive Behavioral therapy would really help. I did some years ago for OCD, but I need to go back and do some for the social anxiety. If you're never had CBT, you might want to look into it. It's just a thought...

Miller emoticon emoticon emoticon

Edited by: MILLERISHEALTHY at: 10/12/2013 (20:53)
"The present is what slips by us while we’re pondering the past and worrying about the future. - Ziggy

"The groundwork of all happiness is health."
Leigh Hunt

"Comparison is the thief of joy."
Theodore Roosevelt


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OHANAMAMA's Photo OHANAMAMA SparkPoints: (99,611)
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10/12/13 5:01 P

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Aloha, my name is Renee' and I have unmedicated anxiety issues that I try to deal with but I'm realizing that I'm not dealing with my problems at all... I'm hiding them away. I try to avoid situations that would cause the anxiety to spike... instead of facing them head on. I have avoided social situations for the last 20 years to the point that I have no real friends. I am much more open and relaxed here on sparkpeople than I am in real life. In real life when talking with someone I often find myself feeling inferior, nervous, afraid of what they are thinking, just knowing that it has something to do with how ugly or fat or stupid sounding I am... then I shake and my voice also gets kinda shaky and I either don't say a word... or I talk too much and too fast. I end up feeling like a fool, playing the situations over and over in my head for the next several days... months.... years.... It's no way to live. :/

Although I've never felt like I "fit in" anywhere, I don't think I was always like this... it was after I started gaining weight and just dropped out of life because I was embarrassed of myself. I kept telling myself I'll do such and such after I lose weight... and here it is over 20 years later and I'm still telling myself that.

I would, in a heartbeat, tell other overweight people to not have such low self esteem... to get out there NOW and live life to the fullest, but I have a problem doing that myself. I try... and then I botch it and worry worry worry.... dwell dwell dwell....

Otherwise I have lived a pretty normal life, with a husband, 4 kids (ages 13 17 19 22) and I work 2 part time jobs. One is court clerk and for whatever reason I usually don't have an issue dealing with traffic offenders and such during court... maybe because it's not a social situation... who knows.

I've got troubled thoughts and the self esteem to match.... ~FOB
I've cried tears you'll never see.... ~FOB
I remained too much inside my head and ended up losing my mind. ~EAP


~~ Renee' ~~ Hula Girl at Heart ~~
Casual Traveler - Central Time (AR, USA)

Be whoever you are extremely loud and be completely fearless when you do it. ~Gerard Way

Highest Weight: 252 in Nov 2012
1/1/14 - 226.5
5/28/14 - 199


 current weight: 196.0 
 
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