Hi Everyone, My name is Melissa and I have just joined Spark to start what I hope will be a shift in my life. I am looking to make manageable changes to get to a more stable ME. I want to ask for all the help anyone is willing to give because I am at a loss as to where to begin.
A short summary is that I am a stay at home mom, that homeschools and lives in Costa Rica. My husband is gone for the majority of the year which leaves me as a mostly single mother. Some challenges that I am dealing with are constant anxiety about managing all the roles I have to take on. (parent, Financial Manager, Teacher, Wife, Life Planner, Work manager for my husband, Secretary, and Household manager). These feelings are not aided by the Isolation of living in a foreign country with no family or support system.
Depression is another constant companion, stemming from feelings of inadequacy, poor self image, marriage challenges and self doubt about my parenting/teaching ability. I know this is a lot to dump on a group of strangers but at this point I have no where else to turn. My question is what to try and tackle first, my depression, anxiety, low self esteem or my weight? I feel if I try to get ahold of all at once that I will quickly give up from the enormity of the challenge. I do well with eating and exercise but as soon as other areas rear their ugly head I fall right off the wagon and hate myself for it.
I hate to whine and recognize that I am no different or worse then the millions of other mothers who are facing the same challenges but I don't want to be this way anymore. I am tired of feeling like garbage and want to fell alive instead of just going through the motions. I am taking out my frustrations, disappointments, and personal failures on my children and they are the most wonderful people in my life.
This is genuinely a call for help to point me in the right direction to help become the mother, wife and person I really want to be.
| current weight: 190.0