My names Angela, I'm 25 years old, married to a wonderful man for almost two years, we have many wonderful animals (a lab mix, two cats, 4 Chinchillas, a hamster, 2 Gerbils, a Hedgehog, a Whydah Finch, 4 fish in 4 seprate tanks.. a two foot Jaguar Cichlid, 2 10 inch Jack Dempseys, and a 8 inch Convict.. a Betta fish, 2 pet lobsters, a Leopard Gecko, and a Cornsnake) most rescue animals from the pet store I work at.
I've had bad anxiety my entire life. From the time I was 3 years old I would throw up every night because I would get myself so anxious before bed, and then once I started school in primary I would get sick before going to school. My nervous stomach progressed into taking full blown panic attacks, and by the time I was in grade 9 I had to go on home school because I wasn't able to leave my house without hyperventatling, crying, shaking, feeling like I couldn't breath, feeling like I was going to pass out, and was positive I would die to leave anywhere past my driveway. I barely ate anything because I felt like everything I ate was going to cause me to take an allergic reaction, and I couldn't be around people because my panic attacks would come on so often thatI was scared for anyone to see me like that.
I did learn ways to cope with it, and have been learning to live with my anxiety ever since. I went back to school and graduated, I took a daycare course, and have been working since I was 18 and haven't missed too much work throughout the years from anxiety, but it still is a continous struggle.
The last few months... probably since January I've been getting really bad again. I can't watch TV because I'm scared of news breaks, every news break makes me feel like something horrible is going to happen to the world ( I had to even avoid commericals for the movie 2012, even though I heard them say it wasn't based on any kind of fact, my husband sent me a clip of a NASA scientist saying the closest threat he can see of anything happening isn't until 2035 and even that keeps getting less likely the closer it gets but it just scared me so much, just typing it about it I can feel myself getting shakey), I've had cold after cold this year and keep thinking theres something majorly wrong with my health, and I've just been living for the last few months in constant fear of everything. I don't like driving at night anymore because I'm scared of being outside especailly at night because I'm scared some natural disater is going to happen when I'm out (and I used to LOVE outside, I loved fishing and camping with my husband), I'm scared to be by myself lately, I'm scared to be at work, I'm just constantly scared of everything lately. I having this total feel of gloom and anxiety all the time, which when my anxieties better I'm actually usually a very up, positive person.
I'm hoping by eating healthier, excerising some of this negative energy away, feeling better about myself, and just making some new friends that understand anxiety as well on here, that I can start to learn to cope again with my anxiety, and get it back to a spot where I don't feel like I'm always living in constant fear.
“For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone.”
| Pounds lost: 0.0