I'm so sorry! Vacations can be really, really tough. Hang in there. There was a point where I'd get extreme panic attacks, and break out into rashes every time I was forced to go anywhere.
I don't know you - or what will help in your particular problem, but I can give advice on that I might do.
First thing, is to try and get you a little more calm and steady. It sounds like it keeps escalating. So if you can for a moment put the other stuff - all the pressures of company and activities out of your mind, or try not to think about them as much as you can for the moment. Tell yourself that the panic is going to pass, you just have to ride it out, it's just a lot of adrenaline and other chemicals,and they'll let up. Keep breathing, and it'll pass. If it helps to pray, let God know how you're feeling, I don't know if your familiar with the scriptures - since you mentioned prayers, but the bible talks about the "peace of mind that excels all thought". And that's often what I like to ask God for. If there is anything else that calms you, like tea, or a walk, a bath, reading, whatever helps, to try and get your head a little clearer.
Take it one day, hour, minute at a time. When you get through that minute, or that second, on to the next, but try to keep them from ganging up on you. As the bible says - sufficient for each day is it's own badness. Which doesn't sound comforting but it kind of is, it just kind of means to focus on the here and now, and the next day will have it's own challenges.
And while I think anxiety sometimes needs to be fought with, on the same hand I think nothing is the end of the world - if you can't go, you can't go. Sometimes when we tell ourselves that we HAVE to do something, or HAVE to be somplace, it can spiral us into panic attacks. I'm still a commitment phobic in some regards. But I feel better if I tell myself, I don't HAVE to, if I don't feel up to it, I have the power to not do those things. And usually the loss of that pressure to have to go somewhere and act normal and feel like I'm performing, actually makes it able for me to go.
I hoped that helped a little, and I'm so sorry if it did the opposite - but your not alone, very much not alone, I've been, and a lot of us on this site have been here. You're going to make it!
Edited by: BLUE-SHIFTED at: 11/19/2008 (21:20)
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