hi, even though i am now married, i am still haunted by my ex. we were together for 7 years and in that time i went from 160 to 200. he spent 7 years belittling me, making me feel like crap and there are still things that pop up in my day that give me a chill.
i have never told anyone this. no one knows he still haunts me. it doesn't help that i have to drive by his work every single day. twice a day i might see him or he see me. i do see him on the steps about three times a week but i bought (on purpose ) a red chevy blazer with a tan bottom. how many of those are out there. i am so embarrassed by all the weight i gained (267 was my highest) from my low self esteem. there are other areas of my life that bother me, but i think this hidden one might be an important step.
once i "lay to rest" our failed relationship i hope my new one will get better, it's a little rocky, after all this one married me, faults and weight and all.
Took a deep breath in the mirror
He didn't like it when I wore high heels
But I do
Turned the lock and put my headphones on
He always said he didn't get this song
But I do, I do
Walked in expecting you'd be late
But you got here early and you stand and wave
I walk to you
You pull my chair out and help me in
And you don't know how nice that is
But I do
And you throw your head back laughing like a little kid
I think it's strange that you think I'm funny cause he never did
I've been spending the last eight months
Thinking all love ever does is break and burn and end
But on a Wednesday in a cafe, I watched it begin again
Marriage isn’t like a tray of hors d'oeuvres. You can’t just pick what you fancy; you’ve got to take the lot or nothing. – Cary Grant, The Grass Is Greener
“Fairy tales, are more than true. Not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be defeated.” — G.K. Chesterton
| Pounds lost: 49.4