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TAYGRL's Photo TAYGRL SparkPoints: (76,998)
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11/12/14 4:40 P

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My name is Shauntay but you can call me "Tay". That's most of my long term friends introduce me anyway.

I began dating a guy a little over a year who, to his credit, let me know up front that he was a recovering alcoholic who had been sober a little over two years when we met. I took and chance because I didn't want to penalize him for his past--we all have them. Then I had a chance to pursue my dream job 400 miles away and while it was a difficult decision (not because of him--we had only been dating 3 months when I moved)--I took it. That was in January--the same month he lost his job.

On one of his visits to come see, he found work through a temp agency which if he wanted to take would mean uprooting himself and moving 400 miles away from his mother and kids--basically, his entire support network. I told him he could live with me temporarily while he explored this opportunity--he desperately wanted to be able to send his ex-wife child support. Well, I think the change and stressors that go along with it were too much and he fell off the wagon and HARD. I had never dealt with addiction THIS up close and personal and it really threw me for a loop--the uncertainty of when he would be home, not hearing from him for 6-7 hours after saying he was on his way, getting arrested, the blacking out...It was taking a toll on me so at the end of August I broke up with him with the understanding that if he wanted to live with me while he looked for a place, he could only he could not drink. As you can guess, he failed miserably and I ended up throwing him out 3 weeks ago. I care for him and he is an otherwise caring, sweet and GENEROUS guy but I couldn't take it. As a result I managed to gain back 40 of the 50lbs I had lost so I am kind of back to square one--AGAIN.

Anyway...I miss part of him but I made the right decision and am now working on reclaiming my life. emoticon

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Sh@untay*

I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see. -- John Burroughs, essayist and naturalist

Don't postpone joy until you have learned all of your lessons. Joy is your lesson. -- Alan Cohen, American businessman

What I lack in decorum, I make up for with an absence of tact. --Don Williams, Jr., American novelist and poet


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KRISTIBELLA88's Photo KRISTIBELLA88 SparkPoints: (2,662)
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10/18/14 1:03 P

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I'm Kristin and I just got out of a terrible relationship. It was never a "romantic" relationship, he never hesitated to tell me he'd never love me and how fat and gross I was but that didn't stop him from moving in with me and climbing into my bed whenever he wanted. I cooked, cleaned, and paid all the bills while he spent his days playing video games and doing drugs. The breaking point was when he threatened physical violence. I finally found my strength and threw his no good ass out (he moved in with his grandma...how cute). So now I'm on a mission to become the best me possible!

Edited by: KRISTIBELLA88 at: 10/18/2014 (13:03)
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KIMMIEB's Photo KIMMIEB Posts: 645
8/25/14 11:11 P

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Hello, I am Kim. I am back again. Went through an awful break up the last two weeks of September. I was drunk and sick for 2 weeks. Didn't sleep, eat or anything. Just drank and got sick. 13 pounds came off and I loved it. Once I got out of the rut I started working out again with the Beachbody workouts and fell in love with them. I ran into him sometime this year, can not remember when but I had a little more muscles and was thinner. He was drooling. Oh well, his loss. On to bigger and better things!

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SNFOSTER1's Photo SNFOSTER1 Posts: 63
11/16/12 8:05 A

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Hello, I'm Stephanie. It has been 10 months since my break up. It has never taken me this long to get over someone. I hope that returning to a healthy, fit lifestyle will help me get over him.

What you do today can improve all your tomorrows.
Ralph Marston


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BG1ANGEL's Photo BG1ANGEL Posts: 7
8/30/12 7:38 P

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Hey, My name is Bethany I just turned 25 on the 28th of August :D

So it has been about 2 months since me and my ex broke up. we dated for about 6months but have known eachother for about 4yrs. He had been "In Love" with me for that time, but was too shy to tell me. We finally got together at his Dad's Christmas Party this last December. He was 20 yrs old and I was his first GF. In about July he just up and stopped talking to me... it is kind of awkward because i live 5 doors down from his mom and his family are good friends of my family. I really fell for him... he was such a sweetheart, and we had a lot of great times (most of the time he would tell me he didn't want me to go when we were just sitting watching movies) which is why it was such a shock when he just up and stopped talking to me (it was a shock to his family as well)

I have finally gotten to the point that i want to make his jaw drop the next time he sees me and make him come crawling back on his hands and knees begging to get me back because he regrets ever letting me go :D ... i just need some support and well "Cheerleaders"

I'm Ready to turn heads and make the guys swoon :D

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TISH0125 SparkPoints: (20,061)
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8/12/12 8:02 P

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I broke up 3 wks ago with the guy I thought was the one. We were together 4yrs. Don't we all think they're 'the one' , why else we date them, right?! I was head over heels and didn't care about the faults that sometimes came along, just kept pushing them aside bc I was so in love. Needless to say, I finally uncovered my eyes this year, and said enough is enough. I deserve better.

Edited by: TISH0125 at: 8/12/2012 (20:03)
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PLUTONIANGIRLNJ's Photo PLUTONIANGIRLNJ SparkPoints: (10,864)
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7/13/12 11:13 A

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Hi! I'm Rachel...I actually broke up with my boyfriend yesterday. I'm devastated, even though it was my decision. We were only together for a few months, but I had never fallen for someone so fast before. I really thought he was the one. In the end, I just wasn't happy. A couple years ago, I would stay with someone even if they were making me miserable. I can't do that anymore.

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ACTIONHEROFOX's Photo ACTIONHEROFOX Posts: 396
6/9/12 8:13 P

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Hey, I go by T. I'm here because it was suggested to do so. Hmph, I don't think I really want to get over him. He stole my heart and never returned it. He was my best friend, ya know? Sure, his little jabs about my weight got to me. He used to tell my cousin about how much he hated me behind my back. It hurt and I didn't understand why he was saying those things because when we talked it was all rainbows. He used to hold me and let me play with his curly locks. I loved that. We even went as far as saying a similar looking younger friend of ours was our secret love child. Our friend adopted the idea and started calling us mom and dad. He was my world and then it came crashing down on my head. I confronted him. He denied it. I called him a poser and a few other choice words. I blocked him on every account and then I regretted it. I tried to patch things up. Truth be told it's been two years and I'm still trying to patch. I cry at night sometimes just thinking about him. I can't bring myself to say his name without getting teary-eyed. I'm still friends with most of our friends and so sometimes I see him. I either get angry or sad. Just so much pain, ya know? People always ask about "us" too, like we have a chance still. It hurts so much. It's not fair. I figure I need to lose weight. I don't know about getting over him just yet.


BELIEVE


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RAE_LEIGH22's Photo RAE_LEIGH22 SparkPoints: (9,321)
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5/23/12 6:53 P

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Hey, I'm Rae and I'm new to the team. I don't know if I'm over my ex or I'm just lonely. I want to get in shape and add him on facebook, as stupid as that sounds. I gained almost 50 pounds while we were together. He never wanted men to look at me, he was so jealous all the time. He was abusive by the time I left him. Yet, I still think about him over and over every day.

Edited by: RAE_LEIGH22 at: 5/23/2012 (18:53)
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MIDORI_SPARK's Photo MIDORI_SPARK Posts: 60
5/14/12 3:29 P

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Hey....
My name is Kristin. My ex broke up with me just over two weeks ago, and it has been really difficult. Long story short, we were in love with each other, but he was not mature enough and just not ready to commit without "shopping around" a bit first, as I was his first girlfriend. A combination of long distance (not too much, just 3 hours away), and a stressful school semester for me are what did us in I guess. He claimed I was too negative, and I know it stems from self-esteem issues on my part. So... after two weeks of pining, I'm resolved to pour my energy into something more positive, which is why I'm here.

You are all amazing people, and I am excited to start on this journey with you.

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MIDORI_SPARK's Photo MIDORI_SPARK Posts: 60
5/14/12 3:27 P

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Hey....
My name is Kristin. My ex broke up with me just over two weeks ago, and it has been really difficult. Long story short, we were in love with each other, but he was not mature enough and just not ready to commit without "shopping around" a bit first, as I was his first girlfriend. A combination of long distance (not too much, just 3 hours away), and a stressful school semester for me are what did us in I guess. He claimed I was too negative, and I know it stems from self-esteem issues on my part. So... after two weeks of pining, I'm resolved to pour my energy into something more positive, which is why I'm here.

You are all amazing people, and I am excited to start on this journey with you.

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SAGE86's Photo SAGE86 SparkPoints: (6,272)
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4/23/12 1:27 P

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HI everyone I'm Sage and I was dumped at the at the end of March for the final time... see my rant Dear Mr. Won't Stay Gone for more information under the dr. mr. ex\ mr. stress thread.

I although that was my first post in this group I can tell that I am going to fit in here very well. I am a chef, and i love to cook. I can normally be found on the Spark early to mid morning, as I work the supper shift. I am 25 and I live on the Atlantic coast of Canada, I am a drifter my address changes every two years normally, and I have picked up a lot slang from the different places I lived...

My goal is to lose thirty pounds by the end of the season - which for me is October.I look forward to meeting more people from the team.

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-TARALYNN-'s Photo -TARALYNN- SparkPoints: (240)
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2/27/12 10:22 P

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Hi, my name is Tara. It feels strange to be writing this, but about a month ago my life took a big turn. I found out something about my ex that I promised myself, if I ever found out he was doing it again, would have to be the end of the relationship. I asked him to move out and then sent a month trying to figure out what to do. In the end I realized that I deserved better, even though, in a lot of ways, he was the best thing that ever happened to me and I love him more than I can explain. Two days ago I gave him my answer, I can't do this anymore... and I feel like my world has come crashing down around me. But I can't let this cripple me, I've sent my life fighting and I refuse to give up now. I need to focus on me and part of that is taking care of myself physically. I need to lose about 80 pounds so my friend suggested this site. She has had amazing success and also went through a bad break up a few months ago.

i just started today and I just screwed up today. Great start, eh? I feel so stupid. I did great with breakfast, I took my dog for a 1 mile walk at a brisk pace, I had a healthy lunch and then BAM! I broke down, emotionally at first and then, inevitability, the diet came next. I am so ashamed, I couldn't even make it through one day. I want to call my friend, but I'm humiliated. She kept on track after her break up. What the hell is wrong with me?

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TML-2012's Photo TML-2012 Posts: 1,052
1/17/12 1:09 A

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Hugs to all emoticon . I am going to see him again in about 8 months (at the earliest) and I would like his eyes to fall out of his head. Not that I am going back to him but just pfffffffft if you know what I mean. I don't really have time to get down to where I want to be but at least I want to be as good as I can be.

Summer

Favorite Quotes:

Motivation follows action not the other way around. So get off your behind and just do it!

Nothing tastes as good as being healthy feels!

"Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change, but pretty soon...everything's different. "
- Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes


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LEEHAME64 Posts: 122
1/11/12 8:59 A

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Working my way positive to leave him. 18 years of living his life and being abuse. Buried my head. Said my life was ok and that he Wasn't abusing me. Afraid but it is necessary for my mental health.

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ANNROSE126's Photo ANNROSE126 SparkPoints: (9,561)
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1/5/12 12:07 A

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Hi all!
Kept lovesick by "Someone like you" by Adele.
Yeah, i definitely need to Get Fit to Get Over Him.
Panicking he might come back before i get fit, that would be another disaster.

Regards from annrose126,
your new hostess at ***Over 100 lbs to Lose Buddies***, Leaving 240-ville and Leaving 270-ville


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DEWENTON27's Photo DEWENTON27 Posts: 35
10/8/11 10:56 P

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hello everyone! (if anyone besides my mom is reading this :P) my name is kristen and im trying to take control of my life. ive had a very hard couple of years physically, emotionally, and mentally.. firstly, i have to fight weightloss w/ PCOS and that is beyonddd difficult! but also, i left an abusive relationship last year, less than 4 months later i lost my brother to a car accident (the day before my daughters 2nd bday), then i had a laporoscopy to remove endometriosis scar tissue in december.. followed by 2 brain surgeries back to back in june, and now im trying to get in shape and finally go from a homebody to a somebody :)

after walking 2-6miles at least every other day, and starting the atkins diet, i finally lost 10 lbs! (in about 3 wks) and im feeling better and more motivated than ever. i dont know what else to write at this point, im new to blogging! good luck to you all!!!


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TREKHAPPI's Photo TREKHAPPI SparkPoints: (5,618)
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10/8/11 10:46 P

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Hi! Long time suffer of disappointment. Time to focus on me and get back to who I am and where I want to go instead of focusing on all the negatives that life likes to toss around.

You must begin to think of yourself as becoming the person you want to be. -David Viscott


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BECAUSEHELEFTME's Photo BECAUSEHELEFTME SparkPoints: (0)
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7/26/11 4:02 P

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Hi all...Name is Kelly im 32yrs old and completely broken. My bf of 1 1/2 years told me last week that hes not happy and that he may want kids of his own (my tubes are tied). So now Im stuck on what to do because I never thought this would happen. I was depressed and wasnt really doing much or caring much so I understad why he was unhappy. I asked him to stay to help me thru the changes i need to make but he refuses and say that he doesnt see anything changing...so now Im taking all this hurt and anger into losing weight. I guess him wanting to leave gave me the motivation to want to lose the weight and show him that hes wrong that I can change...I also want to show that I can change and maybe work out our relationship...if not then he can see me in a few months smaller and wish that he did stick around. So my motivation is to either save my relationship with him or make him suffer not giving me the chance.

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THEYCALLMEPIPES's Photo THEYCALLMEPIPES Posts: 68
7/24/11 3:05 P

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Hey everybody. My name is Rachel and I am going to be 23 in September. At the end of May, my now ex-boyfriend went on a school trip to Europe and cheated on me with one of our friends. He had apparently wanted to break up with me for weeks. He said that being away might have helped him realize that he still loved me instead of actually talking to me about it. He NEVER talked to me though unless it was over some type of technology like text messaging or facebook. He was always on the computer or on his phone or hanging out with his friends and never spent time with me. We LIVED together and he never spent time with me. When he was in Europe he messaged me on facebook everyday for the first 4 days and then after that, nothing. I knew something was up and I found out his dirty little secret. He came back on June 5th. I broke up with him the day after I found out. The 4th. And I broke up with him in the only manner he would understand. Facebook. When he came back to the states, I kicked him out of our apartment immediately but not before screaming bloody murder at him and breaking down. Although it has been almost 2 months without the jerk, I still think about the situation, what he did, and him in general. I don't get upset anymore. But I just want the thoughts to stop. The first week after we broke up I was on, what I like to call, the "heartbreak diet". Take 3 bites of something and then you feel like you wanna vomit. Lost a good amount of weight that week. Now I have been keeping it off and have even lost more...but in a healthy way. And you know what? I have never felt so good about myself. I'm focusing on ME now. emoticon

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PICQUARIAN's Photo PICQUARIAN SparkPoints: (5,561)
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7/16/11 9:09 P

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I'm Jennie and I'm 30. I'm looking forward to focusing on and feeling better about myself.

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LOLLOBOL SparkPoints: (892)
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7/7/11 3:21 P

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I recently got back into contact with the one who got away after ten years and for a while it was everything I had hoped and more until...he got a job on a different continent! He has to be there for 4 years and I cant stand it. There is no way I can wait that long, my last bf was long distance and I promised myself I would never do that again. Trying really hard to get over him:(

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NOPAYNENOGAIN's Photo NOPAYNENOGAIN Posts: 3,305
6/15/11 6:15 P

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Hey all. I'm a 25 yr old now single mother of a 1 yr old little girl. Her father was supposed to be my "one" and now every time I see him I'm a total wreck! He abused me both physically and emotionally. The last time he hit me I was holding our then 6 month old daughter and whole time. I kicked him out 6 months and wouldn't come home until all his things were gone. I struggle every day to be the BEST role model for her as she begins to understand everything around her. I just hope to show her what its like to be a strong confident woman.

-Kendra-

payneiskendra.blogspot.com/

"The comfort zone takes our greatest aspirations and turns them into excuses for not bothering to aspire." - Peter McWilliams

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LEEDOUGH's Photo LEEDOUGH Posts: 23
2/15/11 1:04 P

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everything you said fit me to a tee except not physically abusive I really didn't know I was being emotionally abused until he was gone and the feeling of relief was overwhelming

LEEDOUGH's Photo LEEDOUGH Posts: 23
2/15/11 1:01 P

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Hi I am Evelyn I am 63 had been celibate for 21 years,. he was 41 he used me for 9 months then left me on new years eve, a woman picked him up at my house, didn't know we were a couple thought he just lived at my house since I was an older woman!!! I loaded everything he had at my house in her car 12 days later he was shocked that I had even talked to her behind his back lol I am at 242 pounds I want to be 122 since I am 5'3"

KAMAPERRY's Photo KAMAPERRY Posts: 6,397
2/12/11 2:04 P

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Welcome! I am new too!

Kama is ready to take it all the way!


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HONEYDEWDROPS's Photo HONEYDEWDROPS Posts: 61
2/12/11 1:53 P

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Welcome, dear. That truly sucks.
I understand about the extra baggage - mentally, physically and emotionally. I hope we can help by supporting you so that his mistakes don't have a lasting impact on your future!

"The only person between you and the person you want to become is...

you."


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LIVE12341 SparkPoints: (0)
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2/8/11 10:32 A

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Hey, I just started and found this team. I was in my first relationship and I thought I loved him. Then he started to flirt with all theses girls. We were going out for a 1 and 7 monthes. Now I just want to get rid of the extra baggage.

KAMAPERRY's Photo KAMAPERRY Posts: 6,397
2/4/11 5:38 P

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Anyone here?

Kama is ready to take it all the way!


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HEALTHYBY20's Photo HEALTHYBY20 Posts: 94
10/28/10 7:51 P

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Hi. I'm Tori. I wasn't technically in a relationship but essentially this guy used me for the past year and a half. I'm done with being used. I want to move on. Be happy. And be healthy. I want to do this for me so that I can find someone in the future. I want to get in shape because I want to respect myself. If I don't respect me how can I expect a guy to?

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KAITHOFFMAN's Photo KAITHOFFMAN SparkPoints: (3,200)
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10/18/10 11:43 A

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hello everyone my name is kaitlyn. my bf and i broke up in september after 5 years, one child, anda house together. we were supposed to get engaged and start trying to have a baby this fall. but instead i am on my own with our son, having to look at him almost every dy as he gets JT (or son). i really want to lose this weight now. we used to eat alot, and now that i no longer have to cook for him i have no excuss for unhealthy eating. i am ready to be healthy and happy for my son, and be sexy and hot for him to be jealous lol

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IMHAPPY2BME's Photo IMHAPPY2BME SparkPoints: (0)
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10/12/10 3:53 P

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Hi my name is Monica. I don't now if it is really to really get over him, but to get over the garbage we went through and he put me though. He was verbally, emotionally, and occasionally physically. He also is a cheater. Always looking for someone better than what he has. An incredible liar, manipulator, con artist and so much more. He likes to keep his woman on the bigger side, I think it is part of the control he likes to have over them. Now I am trying to shed the weight and the abuse of him. I am doing better than I have in a long time, but I still have my days. I finally have my freedom from him as of September 21, 2010. That was my Independence Day. Not the day I got my Permanent Protective Order, but the day the he finally realized it was over even though he ended up marrying someone he cheated on me with and left me for. He had tried to get to me through the legal system and I finally hired an attorney I couldn't afford, but you can't put a price on freedom. Wow! I shared more than I expected.

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ACREWS20's Photo ACREWS20 SparkPoints: (476)
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9/26/10 9:07 P

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Hi, I'm Anna. I'm a twenty year old mom with 42 pounds to lose. My ex husband was an (excuse me) ass. He was abusive, mean, idiotic, and unhealthy. He made me feel badly about how I looked and who I was. It's been almost two years and he still finds ways to control every part of my life. He just recently found a way to get me kicked out of my own home by sleeping with my roommate and moving to VA Beach with her, abandoning my daughter. This decision to become healthy and thin is spurred by a need to remake myself, to become a more confident and self-reliant person. To show my child that we can be healthy and happy without him.

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LOOK4THEGIRAFFE's Photo LOOK4THEGIRAFFE Posts: 215
9/21/10 9:27 A

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Hey yall! I just wanted to kind of introduce myself now that I am a co-leader.
I am 19 and I have been single for a year. None of my friends and family know it but I am still somewhat stuck over an ex. In this past year I have been asked out and have been on dates and there have been guys that have asked me to be their girlfriend but I turned it down. I didn't want to just pretend that I was okay and start dating other people to get over him. Now that time has passed I can actually see myself getting happier by myself and I am starting to lose weight. Once I am happy with my self I know I will be ready to be someone else girlfriend again!

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LADYZSTARDUST Posts: 3
7/25/10 6:59 P

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Hey All,

I'm 21 now (for a god two weeks) and I've been single for almost a year. I keep telling myself and everyone else that I'm over what happened, but if I really was I suppose I would have lost the weight I'd gained with the ex.

I had been with the guy for four years. He broke up with me last august, said we were still friends, and I found out a month later he not only had been cheating on me for over a year, he had been living with the other girl for months and she was having his baby in a matter of weeks. She was then kind enough to tell me that he hated me because I had had an abortion when I was 18 four months after I had found out all the before mentioned bull $hit. That incident, which he'd promised he'd never hold against me, was when I started gaining weight, him pressuring me to marry him and drop out of college hadn't helped, and the ugly break up certainly didn't do me any favors.

But I'm telling everyone I'm over. Because when I think about it all it doesn't hurt anymore. Now, I want to prove it and go back to the way I was before the $hit hit the fan. I WILL be 140 pounds or less with a 25 inch waist when I finish. That is a promise.

ZStardust

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AUNTIEB82's Photo AUNTIEB82 Posts: 419
7/21/10 11:37 P

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I just recently filed for divorce in December 2009 after only being married since that September.I find out he was a pathological liar and even cheated on me since we began dating Sept 2008.It totally flipped my world upside down when I started learning the truth about him.I have bouts of depression but not as much as I used to.Now I just get them once a wk or so.I had started smoking again in December but put them down at the end of May. I DID get so low and depressed last weekend that I gave in and bought a pack.But was soon angry with myself.I have had countless sleepless nights since December.Last night was the first time in MONTHS that I actually slept.I started working out again on Monday night and last night I was totally exhausted.Im hoping to make tonite my 2nd nite of getting some sleep.Anyways.My goal is 70 lbs.

SW:215.4 (4/18/12)
CW:217.4
GW:150


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EMILY641's Photo EMILY641 SparkPoints: (0)
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7/4/10 12:09 A

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Hello, all!!! I am 46 (am I the oldest one here??) and have been divorced for 10 dog years. My marriage ended after learning my husband was having an affair with ,,,,,,,,A STRIPPER!!! I was 3 months pregnant when I found out......oh, the stripper called me and told me.

So, I've been out here for 10 years. I've dated during these years, been proposed to by one man ( I wasn't in love), but I have never met anyone I would want to married.....UNTIL MY WONDERFUL BLIND DATE A YEAR AGO!!!! A dear friend set me up with this AWESOME man who was just perfect!!! I was intensely attracted to him and he told me he felt the same. Several months in the relationship, marriage was mentioned. He talked about where we could live, etc. I was PUMPED!!! Well, almost a year into the relationship, he told me he feels certain he does not have the "marriage gene." He told me he want to stay in the relationship, but he never plans to marry. I was devastated. I stayed for another month because I was in denial, thinking he would change his mind. But during that last month, I was so mad. Finally after way too much wine, I ended the relationship and all of the madness was lifted from me. Oh, I forgot to tell you he is 51 and never married. I should have seen the writing on the wall.

So, by GEORGE.......I am going to get 40 pounds off and get back out there!!!! I am is sound so simple, but I have been very depressed about having to get back out there. I've been very lonely to because that fabulous son of mine has been with his dad most of the summer. (His dad lives 5 hours away.)

I really need your support!!! THANKS!!!! emoticon

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MARTYRED4LOVE's Photo MARTYRED4LOVE SparkPoints: (11,592)
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6/28/10 3:11 P

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Hey! I'm Allison. I have finally ended an on-again off-again relationship that lasted about a year. During the whole process I ate my feelings and gained the weight I had lost with the help of spark before I started dating him. I'm not even sure what I weigh at this point. I need money to buy a scale because my old one broke. I'm finally in a place where I am ready to focus on taking care of myself and getting back my body. emoticon I'm going to start this summer off right!

You don't drown by falling in the water. You drown by staying there.

Keep moving


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LAURA2471's Photo LAURA2471 Posts: 380
6/18/10 11:43 A

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Hi,
I'm new. Recently broke up with my boyfriend of just over a year. I'm a single mom of teenage girls, and trying to cope with it all.

Found this thread, and so glad I did!! I thought I was alone and going crazy!

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TEHBLESSED's Photo TEHBLESSED Posts: 29
6/15/10 11:16 P

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Hello all. I just broke up with my ex-fiancÚ' February 15. emoticon We were going to be married in April. We dated for over a year and the relationship was not good. We were totally opposite with nothing in common. I am very outgoing. He is so withdrawn like a recluse. No communication at all. I felt like I was alone so I ate to pacify my feelings. Now I am in a place of finding me again. emoticon

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ROCKINFOX's Photo ROCKINFOX Posts: 1,899
5/24/10 2:22 P

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I know this is a little late for some, but emoticon to the group!! We are all here going through similar things and we support one another. I'm sorry to hear about everything you all are going through. emoticon But I assure you that time will heal your hearts. emoticon emoticon I've gotten into some outdoorsy adventure type of things that I could never do with one of my exes. It's great knowing what I am capable of doing! I'm sure you all will do the same. I hope you find the support you need to help you reach your goals. emoticon

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right."



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CLAZZIC1969's Photo CLAZZIC1969 Posts: 123
5/18/10 11:53 A

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Hello Ladies!!

What a great group! I am not even sure which HIM I am getting over, but I could make a list. I am a single/divorced mama of three great teenage girls and I am here because it is time to focus on ME. Check out my page and ADD me, I need buddies!!

I am tired of dating whiny, lazy, smoking, selfish men blah blah blah. So here is where I start taking better care of myself. Not just my body but my soul because something inside of me actually believes that I only deserve the bad kind of men.

THE MORE I WORK OUT, THE LESS I THINK ABOUT SEX (yes I am serious)

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MATTYSONNE's Photo MATTYSONNE Posts: 46
5/12/10 6:41 P

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HI! My name is Brianne(Matty is just the name i've been living under for almost a year in my virtual world), im 20. I broke up with this guy on his birthday last September; 8 months of emotional distance was NOT what i wanted with my life. then, sadly rebounded with this other guy(that lasted a month), then tried with an old EX from 3 years ago (again, a 1 month of BS), and have since found myself desperatly looking around at all the cute guys in my neighborhood wondering why I dont catch anyone's eye.
Finally, just before joining this I've decide that it is ME... I feel horrible about myself, and ITS SHOWING! So, i joined this site, and am trying to feel better about myself, so someone else will like me too... emoticon

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LOLA_2010's Photo LOLA_2010 Posts: 11
4/18/10 11:14 P

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Hey guys, my name is Lola. I am new to the whole community side of SP, but when I saw this group I was encouraged. I am a 20 year old college student and I recently broke up with my boyfriend, my first love. It has definitely been hard. However, I am looking at this turning point in my life as an opportunity to make some changes, one being to get back on track in the weight department. I have a long way to go, but I am determined and I would appreciate any help along the way :)

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VWHIPPIEGIRL's Photo VWHIPPIEGIRL Posts: 228
4/6/10 3:59 P

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Hey everyone! My name is Leslie, I'm almost 30, and from Ohio. My story is a little different than most. I'm not trying to get over an ex exactly. I'm trying to get over a "friend." I say friend like that, because I'm not sure where things stand with us right now. This friend and I did date in the past, but I ended the relationship, and we've been very good friends since. To try and make a long story short, he is in a long distance relationship now, and doesn't want anything to do with me anymore. I'm understanding that he's in the honeymoon phase of the relationship, but to just write me off really upsets me. We got in a huge fight the other night, and while in his mind I think he thinks we're still friends just not as close, I'm not so sure anymore. So while I originally started working out to deal with whatever feelings I had left over from my last break up (it was in October), it has now shifted to dealing with this "break up" so to speak.

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NYMALIN's Photo NYMALIN Posts: 104
3/31/10 6:19 P

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Hi all,
my name is Malin, I live in Sweden.
About a year ago I divorced, it felt like the only resort since all the love that we once had was gone and he refused to change his ways and meet me half way.
Ever since I've been trying to get my feet back under me.
Initially after the divorce I felt really lost, sometimes I still do since so much of what I do is based on what other people want and need. Most of all I'm dealing with a lot of self esteem issues from spending so long with a person that never confirmed me. (I hope that makes sense in english)

For me, loosing weight means a lot to get better self esteem. Right now I feel so old and ugly I'm convinced no one will ever want me again. (I'm 32, not as old as I feel)
So I'm thinking alot about how to make myself love me again since without that I don't a new relationship will work out well. Getting into better shape will hopefully change a lot about that. Thinking more positively about myself seems also like a good start.

/ Malin

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SYIETA@0 Posts: 128
3/17/10 3:15 P

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Hi, my name is francene, i recently broke up with a guy i been with for 16 years. i am 43 years old 2 girls 20 and 23 for the first time in my life i live only and dont no what to do. emoticon

Edited by: SYIETA@0 at: 3/17/2010 (16:40)
IILAAD65's Photo IILAAD65 Posts: 4,500
3/11/10 2:12 P

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Hi my name is Beth. I am 44 years young and am tired of men period!

Somehow they can always pull my strings. I need to be more stronger and more confident about who I am.

The SAME man broke my heart twice last year. The 2nd time was my fault, he warned me. BUT.. he's now coming around and flirting big time again. I feel more in control and not at HIS mercy.

We have the same birthday and I plan to look HOT by September!

Beth

"The road to success is always under construction."

www.knightanddayfitness.net


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TEIELA's Photo TEIELA Posts: 205
3/4/10 11:39 A

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Hi my name is Teiel and I am coming off of a long string of bad romances. For a lot of my life I have been filling holes with guys and hoping for the best. Somehow I lost myself along the way. I find myself confused without someone telling me what to do now. It's time to get me back on track.

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. ~ The Dalai Lama


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MARCYNA's Photo MARCYNA Posts: 1,805
2/28/10 6:20 A

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Hi, I'm new to this group which I have just discovered. I'm from Italy and joined SP in August 2009. I had to change my job and had a breakup with a person I really loved,and I think I turned to unhealthy eating habits to cope with those stressors - I had also interrupted my usual gym practice. I thin SP was a gift from heaven and now I'm feeling so much better...with the help of you SP friends emoticon emoticon

Edited by: MARCYNA at: 2/28/2010 (06:21)

http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_
individual.asp?gid=61668


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HOTMOMA970's Photo HOTMOMA970 Posts: 1,942
2/18/10 2:40 P

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Well, Hello everyone,
My name is Carla and I have been cheated on and kicked around for way to long now. I am currently living with my EX because I lost my place to stay and he let me stay with him for a little while. For the most part he is okay, well tollerable I guess. After he gets around his brother though, he turns into a whole different person. We broke up 2 years ago and have stayed friends with occasional benefits. I still do his laundry and cook for him, clean his house and take care of him when he is sick, yet we are not together. I wan to show him that I am better off without him, so I am moving in a month and I plan on making sure that I am taking better care of myself and only putting myself second to my son.

Thank you for listening

What ever does not kill me will make me stronger.


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MBLN2010's Photo MBLN2010 Posts: 6
2/17/10 9:32 P

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I just found this group tonight and am very glad I did. My husband left and immediately filed for divorce 2 years ago after 24 years of marriage. I was with him over half of my life and it is still really hard. My confidence is gone, so my weight has gone up. He has already remarried and has a very full life and I feel "stuck." He always told me at the end no one would ever want me.. and I feel like that is true. I just want to stop believing it..

Hoping the Spark will be the spark I need to get this weight off.

Lisa emoticon

Edited by: MBLN2010 at: 2/21/2010 (13:44)
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MBLN2010's Photo MBLN2010 Posts: 6
2/17/10 9:32 P

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I just found this group tonight and am very glad I did. My husband left and immediately filed for divorce 2 years ago after 24 years of marriage. I was with him over half of my life and it is still really hard. My confidence is gone, so my weight has gone up. He has already remarried and has a very full life and I feel "stuck." He always told me at the end no one would ever want me.. and I feel like that is true. I just want to stop believing it..

Hoping the Spark will be the spark I need to get this weight off. Just bought P90x so I start that as soon as it gets here.. Can't wait! Lisa emoticon

 current weight: 142.8 
 
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MBLN2010's Photo MBLN2010 Posts: 6
2/17/10 9:32 P

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I just found this group tonight and am very glad I did. My husband left and immediately filed for divorce 2 years ago after 24 years of marriage. I was with him over half of my life and it is still really hard. My confidence is gone, so my weight has gone up. He has already remarried and has a very full life and I feel "stuck." He always told me at the end no one would ever want me.. and I feel like that is true. I just want to stop believing it..

Hoping the Spark will be the spark I need to get this weight off. Just bought P90x so I start that as soon as it gets here.. Can't wait! Lisa emoticon

 current weight: 142.8 
 
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MBLN2010's Photo MBLN2010 Posts: 6
2/17/10 9:32 P

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I just found this group tonight and am very glad I did. My husband left and immediately filed for divorce 2 years ago after 24 years of marriage. I was with him over half of my life and it is still really hard. My confidence is gone, so my weight has gone up. He has already remarried and has a very full life and I feel "stuck." He always told me at the end no one would ever want me.. and I feel like that is true. I just want to stop believing it..

Hoping the Spark will be the spark I need to get this weight off. Just bought P90x so I start that as soon as it gets here.. Can't wait! Lisa emoticon

 current weight: 142.8 
 
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MBLN2010's Photo MBLN2010 Posts: 6
2/17/10 9:31 P

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I just found this group tonight and am very glad I did. My husband left and immediately filed for divorce 2 years ago after 24 years of marriage. I was with him over half of my life and it is still really hard. My confidence is gone, so my weight has gone up. He has already remarried and has a very full life and I feel "stuck." He always told me at the end no one would ever want me.. and I feel like that is true. I just want to stop believing it..

Hoping the Spark will be the spark I need to get this weight off. Just bought P90x so I start that as soon as it gets here.. Can't wait! Lisa emoticon

 current weight: 142.8 
 
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MG03F1's Photo MG03F1 SparkPoints: (9,988)
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2/9/10 9:47 P

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Hi, I'm new too the group but have been on sp for a month. I saw this group and was like, hmmm, that sounds like me. I was with a guy who lived in a different state and I would mainly fly to visit him because I had roomies and he didn't. After about four months I found out he was an alcoholic, druggie and just a loser. Although I suspected it, I didn't go with my gut feelings because I thought I was in love. Now that I look back, one of the best things in my life was breaking up with him. I gained more weight after our break-up and now I'm losing it. I don't care too see him ever again, but he messed me up mentally for a while, but I'm coming back stronger then ever!

"You can't do anything about the length of your life, but you can do something about its width and depth."


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ROCKINFOX's Photo ROCKINFOX Posts: 1,899
1/26/10 5:15 P

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To all of you: I'm sorry to hear all that you're going through. Breakups are tough and never easy. All I can say is that these guys don't know what they're missing and we're better off without them. We all need to reach out to each other and lift each other up in spirit.

When I first joined the team I had my own story, then recently met a guy that I thought was pretty awesome and decided he was a make do for the time being girl.

Remember that we all rock!! emoticon emoticon emoticon

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right."



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THE1DERGIRL's Photo THE1DERGIRL Posts: 27
1/26/10 12:23 A

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Hello all, I am Heather, and I recently became co-leader of this team. A bit about me: I am 23 years old, 24 Feb 13th. I've had countless guyfriends who were perfect but I am told that while I was the perfect woman, and they loved me, that I was a galpal, not a girlfriend. After years of experiencing this, I thought that I was numb to that happening again.... and was sorely mistaken. I had got to know a guy from work that was everything I have ever dreamed of finding, and more. He made me feel beautiful, and wanted. As our friendship bloomed, so did my feeling for him.... to keep this short, I will jump ahead about 9 months.... he went all out on Christmas gifts for me, and was super sweet.... then all of a sudden New Years Eve happens, and he is cold as ice and leaves early.... leaving me alone at the party our friend was having... through all of this my roomate and him have become really close and then moment finally came when I realized that what we once had was over. My roomate delivered the news " he says that he loves you as a friend, but only as a friend" My initial reaction of course was that I was hurt, but the sting is wearing off and I resolved that I will completely throw myself into my spark and turn this negative experience into something wonderful for myself. Please if you need a boost of positive energy, reach out to your teammates! One positive comment can turn someone's day around! If there is anything that I can do to help you.... by all means ask me!!!

Edited by: THE1DERGIRL at: 1/26/2010 (00:25)
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LIM1128's Photo LIM1128 Posts: 121
1/21/10 9:11 A

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Hi everyone. I'm also new to this team. I just had a breakup very recently. I was with this person for eight years. I'm putting myself first this time around. Good luck to all and we'll get through this together. You go, Annette! emoticon

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ANNETTEK0327's Photo ANNETTEK0327 Posts: 3
1/20/10 1:39 A

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I am new here. My name is Annette and I am 22 years old. I am joining here because I want to prove to my son's father that I am better off without him and I figure the best way that I can do that is look my best. So here I go....

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ROCKINFOX's Photo ROCKINFOX Posts: 1,899
12/21/09 10:32 A

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Hi Alexa! emoticon I'm sorry to hear about your past exboyfriends. I get sick of the same thing...except my guy friends will gawk at my sister. I think you're very pretty! I can't imagine what your guy friends are looking for. Hope you have a great day!! emoticon

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right."



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SONG_BIRD_25's Photo SONG_BIRD_25 Posts: 15
12/19/09 12:10 P

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Hi,

I'm Alexa....All of my ex boyfriends have cheated on me and most guy friends get girlfriends and then bitch to me and ask why their girls arent more like me....the only thing these girls have on me is a better body, most aren't even pretty and I'm sick of it!!

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MARTHAKAT Posts: 53
11/11/09 11:14 A

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Hiya
I wrote on another topic Im having a bad day

Im from Ireland take a left at new york its the first thing you hit!!

ROCKINFOX's Photo ROCKINFOX Posts: 1,899
11/9/09 12:00 P

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Hi and thanks for the emotional support. I've gotten better about being happy with being single. I definitely don't want to rush anything if he's not right for me. Where are you from? I live in the south.

For everyone else, I will pray for your situations whatever they may be.
emoticon

"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right."



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MARTHAKAT Posts: 53
11/9/09 11:35 A

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Hiya
I dont know if what I have to say will help but for one thing you say sorry way too much you fall for someone and the time doesnt have anything to do with it and its not a long email....
Also I was shocked that your 26 and worried about it...I know I come from a place where is normal to get married in your early thirties and your twenties are for figuring out yourself and therefore who will make you happy...
It is hard when everyone else is at a different place in their life than you I get that believe me but please believe me that who I would choose at 26 is a far far far distance from who I want now and Im only the other side of 30.
Enjoy this time looking after you and figuring out you now is the time to spoil yourself and do all those things that you want to do(trips/places you want to visit/losing the weight) whatever makes you happy....we live a long life these days and there is no rush to be married it will happen for you dont worry

ROCKINFOX's Photo ROCKINFOX Posts: 1,899
11/9/09 11:08 A

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Hi I'm Nikki and in the middle of trying to get over my ex right now. We officially dated for 2 months and he said he's not ready to get emotionally involved (he was recently divorced, should've known better). We tried to do the whole friends thing, but acted like we were dating. I thought I had a good thing and was hoping that someday we would be together again. Then one day it hit me...I felt like I was his emotional crutch and a little used. I couldn't believe I fell so hard for this guy in so little time. I finally told him that I couldn't do this and needed some time away from him (our dating dragged out for 5 months, 2 was official). Of course he was upset because we hung out together a lot. Well later I felt like I could talk with him without getting upset, but something happened and he said it would be weird for us to be friends. I was so upset over this and cried my eyes out.
Now I realize that he was a little bit of a jerk and can't believe I wasted my time with someone like him. I'm glad I found this team and hope everyone will find someone who not only accepts them, but appreciates them.

I know there is someone out there for me and keep praying for patience (I'm 26 and surrounded by younger married couples). Sorry this was long.

Edited by: ROCKINFOX at: 11/9/2009 (11:08)
"Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right."



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MARTHAKAT Posts: 53
11/6/09 7:50 A

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Hi Im Martha...I just broke up with someone...as in yesterday we had the final chat.... I was with him three years and it was long distance. For the past year he has been trying to get a job where I am to move here and he cant. Six months ago after another interview that didnt work out he lost belief in himself... and now he feels it will never happen and he doesnt want to keep me waiting any more.

Im not sure thats it he is not the best at giving bad news but basically he did the your perfect and wonderful and I cant do this to you anymore thing

It made me remember why I loved him so much and why I wanted him in my life

and now I want to figure out how to move on and if Im being honest if to move on. I want to go to him and bang his head against the wall and tell him what are you thinking

but then I cant make him want this

I had just started back to sparkpeople a few weeks and I was in the mind set of Im going to think about me and get this weight off and now this

I dont have the strength to be good to me and I want it back real soon

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