Good morning and welcome to team!
Every word you say resonates deeply with me. Please allow me to share a bit of my story.
Not long ago, I was in your place. I have run on and off for 15 years and last year I was still the jiggly, panting, sweaty, struggling runner at the back of the pack.
Then last year, some deep part of me that must have been yearning for a change signed me up for a Half-Marathon (happening in three weeks!). Suddenly, walking/running/crawling beyond my 3 mile comfort zone was a necessity.
And here is what I learned - my body was willing!
My body didn't care about breathing so hard everyone in a one-mile radius could hear me. That is what my body needed to do to get air and it was happy to do it.
My body didn't mind jiggling. As long as wore the appropriate ta-ta support (I need 2 sport bras) my body was quite happy to jiggle down the yellow brick road.
My body didn't mind going further. As long as I did reasonable walk/run intervals and stretched, my body was quite willing to keep going.
In fact one day, I decided to just keep going. To monitor my BODY for aches and pains, shut down my panicked mind, and to let my body keep going. I did 7.6 miles that day - safely and without injury. Before that, my record was 5 miles.
My point is that my BODY was able and willing. It was my mind that was stopping me. It was my own fears and ego that kept from excelling because I was so embarrassed. My mind told me I looked ridiculous, but when I ignored that negative voice I could hear my body saying "Woo-hoo, this is GREAT!"
I have a long way to go. After six months, I am stronger and a little slimmer, although still slow. I have now conquered up to 11 miles, and in 3 weeks I WILL complete that Half-Marathon. I may one of the last ones to finish, but I will finish.
Royal, it doesn't matter if you don't look like a superstar on the road. What matters is that just by having the courage to be out there - You Are A SUPERSTAR!
Please copy past the url below into your browser. It leads to a wonderful blog that can be very inspiring to us "slow, fat, runners"
I'm proud of you!
***Just Keep Moving***
5K PR (recent) 38:49
5K PR (ever) 33:22
10K PR 1:28:52 (one month later)
10K (first ever) 1:32:11
HM PR: 3:31:10