Hi! My name is Felicia. I have been struggling with both my wieght and my financial status for as long as I can remember. Recently something just clicked with me, so I have decided to return to Spark people after a few years hiatus. I have started to keep track of my budget/spending since Febuary. Something that has always been a sickening task. I work two jobs, sometimes three if I have to. Due to working at a local high school (not on salary), the summers are a usual kick to the pocketbook, so I will work at a restarant just for the few months that I'm off. I hate doing this constant dance of jobs, part school, part retail, and then the cherry on top -restaurant work.
For the longest time I just couldn't face my financial state. You would think working so much I should be good to go, but quite the opposite. With student loans, past debts from places I have lived and the struggle to get out of a hole an ex-fiance tossed me into, its been a hard road. I had also gained a fantastic hide-under-the-bed tactic when it came to past due bills, too. I couldn't stand the thought of being late on bills or not being able to pay for them, even a little bit. I had tried talking to debt collectors in the past about making smaller payments or even delaying a payment a few weeks for a paycheck, and was faced with 'no's and negativity. I had gained a stigma that if I couldn't pay them, why even try.
As mentioned before, my ex-fiance's special gift that will keep on giving, at least for a few more years. I had already had quite the anxiety to my debt before I met him. But I figured that since he was older and, I thought, wiser, I would listen to his advise and move in with him to 'pay off my bills'. This lasted the length of our relationship and ended in a bankruptsy to protect me from a new car that had been mine, but then became his as soon as things turned sour. I hadn't planned on letting him do this much damage, I actually had began the process of refinancing the car solely into my own name, until he decided that instead of letting me handle this and take the car myself he would file for bankrupsy and eventually lose the car completely. Mainly as a hurtful, stupid tactic on his part.
During our time together, I learned so much! I had even learned that sometimes anti-depressents are not the answer, that it may just be the stituation that you are in that is making you depressed. So after years of trying to rebuild myself into a better position. I have come to this.
I am now in better control of my financial state, married to a wonderful supportive guy, and feel that it is time for a change for the better within myself. Hence, rejoining Sparkpeople. Since I have done so well with keeping a tally on my finances, I figured it was time to start keeping track of what I am eating. Maybe now even get myself motivated to exercise. I am still not out of debt and still have a couple of handfulls of bills that need to be dealt with, but I think all in all, things are going well.
I hope that this will be a great place to vent and get in touch with others that have had the same kind of struggles. I think we can help each other get over these hurdles!
NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!!!
| current weight: 263.0