Sometimes we change our actions by changing our beliefs; more often we change our beliefs by changing our actions.
Sounds like you have definitely changed your beliefs.
At some point you decided it was safer to stay in the sides lines and that worked to get you what you needed. But now you are sick and tired of safe, and have decided to get into the game and *LIVE*, being a mere observer no longer gets you what you need.
The lesson I have learned beyond a doubt is that ONLY YOU can TAKE ACTION. Until you do take some steps (and continue stepping) to "GET IN THE GAME" your old patterns or insecurities will remain, until you prove them defective, by replacing them with small smarter choice substitutions.
To take drastic measures or leap tall buildings in a single bound... is to step outside our comfort zones. Any human being that far out of their comfort zone will tend to be overly cautious or even fearful, often bringing about their own failure to change. It's a survival instinct and why evolution takes millenniums. LOL
But by taking less drastic steps, small smarter choice substitution, we can reset the boundaries of those comfort zones and reduce or eliminate our fearful internal resistance to change.
Set up your SP nutrition tracker to report as many nutrients as you can. Track your daily (routines) and food items eaten for a week without giving much thought or effort to being on a DIET. Not saying to eat with total disregard or reckless abandon but to eat without the 'diet mentality' of deprivation, sacrifice, or denying yourself of what you would normally want or allow. Track your food honestly and accurately. Review what you have eaten and take note of the nutritional values of each meal, each food item, or maybe even ingredients for home cooked meals. (I use many 'food groupings' for meals that I home cook on a regular basis.)
Those items that are highest in calories or lowest in nutrition... reduce them ever so slightly. Those items that are lowest in calories or highest in nutrition... increase them ever so slightly. Plan your next day's meal IN ADVANCE based on your most popular selections from the previous week and what you still have in the fridge, implementing the above modification. In regards to the U.S., R.D. A. nutritional guidelines at the bottom, Pick a healthy veggie or food item / ingredient, that you enjoy and add it in, maybe 2 portions or a 1 portion side item, or a portion of a portion as an ingredient, whatever you feel you will eat without resentment or suffering through taste. lol See how it affects the nutrient report? Try out other veggie choices and see if you cannot find a small smarter choice substitution you are satisfied with. You should not try to create a whole balanced and complete meal right off the bat, but rather work your way into it gradually with just the 2 modifications and one substitute... in your largest meal
each day. After two weeks, the first week simply practicing the habit of daily tracking, the second week practicing the daily habit of decrease/increase & 1 substitution, you should compare the U.S., R.D.A. nutrient report from day 1 to day 14.
Small Smarter Choice Substitution can be applied in all aspects of life for everything, every defective behavior you wish to replace or additional behaviors you with to adapt yourself to. Trying to do too many behaviors at once, or trying to take the change too far or in too large of increments, will take you out of your comfort zone and sap motivation. (However, pushing the envelope of one's comfort zone in itself can be (a goal) an admired adaptive behavior.)
To strengthen motivation, use many different methods of tracking results, measuring progress, or gauging success within your daily steps. EVERY step in the right direction counts, and when you count each of them as a victory done right, your motivation flows freely. Its when we discount, overlook, or have too high of expectations that our motivation wanes.
Another way to reset motivation is to review our healthy dissatisfaction for the current state and clearly imagine with visualizations our desired state. Then take a minute or two to dwell in those images and feel the emotions it brings. Review all the healthy dissatisfaction with the current consequences and positive reasons for making the change, and then review all the advantages and rewards of accomplishing the achievement.
Expert behavioralists say that to either establish a HABIT or over write an old one, takes 28 days. Personally I think they mean things OUTSIDE of a comfort zone or pushing the boundaries. But still, if/when you feel resistance or a lack of motivation... thats when you need to be the most diligent, obedient, and committed. Or else lessen the drasticity of the modification / substitution /step and start the count over again. LOL
Anyway, not that I am any sort of expert, (just a 3+ year sparker who has lost 80 lbs) but I hope that helps and addresses what you were asking for
Failure- a stone on a path not the last one called success.
Planless gaol=a wish
Faithless dream=fleeting & amiss.
Progress-little to do with speed-much to do with direction.
Wiser to replace with better choices than to deny human nature-small smarter choice substitutions.
Purposely choose your thoughts-what you believe-you achieve-Be careful what you think www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i