Hey there! I'm Cat.
I'm sort of new to SparkPeople and sort of not. I've had an account before, but it was more for vanity than for any actual change. So I reset everything. A fresh, clean account for a fresh, clean start.
I've got to admit, I'm scared though. Just got a concussion and had to go to the doctor's office. The scale they had said I weighed 224.6 lbs. That's scary for me. I'm young. Too young for this. I know that in part it is genetic (heavy set ladies run on both sides of my family). But most of it is bad habits and not thinking. Just over this past summer I gained probably 10 pounds. I'd been studying abroad and the culture I was in had norms that meant I couldn't go in the kitchen, let alone use it. I kind of went on a baking binge when I got home. With only my brother and I... well, it's was delicious and disastrous.
I feel larger now and am noticeably puffier now in places I never was before (like my face). It's been difficult. I don't generally have self-esteem problems and love my curves--I tend to be an anomaly around campus--but it's hitting the breaking point. My lovely stomach now has the beginnings of stretch marks and this madness needs to end. I want to see my grandchildren. There's this great guilt and fright.
Part of me thinks I'm not ready or have the ability to take on the challenge of losing weight. I'm a college student with a crazy amount of homework and two distinctly unhealthy roommates (not to mention college in general is not known for promoting great health). Our parents keep sending us goodie packages too--which is fantastic--except we have a mound of candy that literally covers an entire table in the living room. That's a ridiculous ammount of temptation to have to pass every day to get to the bathroom. Being a junior and having two roommates who share cooking responsibilities with me is also hard. They, bless their hearts, try very hard but not burning food is about all they can manage. I haven't quite been able to sneak vegetables into the picture as much as I would like. I know this sounds like complaining but it's the state of affairs right now. I know there's a way to make it work but I haven't figured out yet how to fit the puzzle together. It's kind of hard to figure out where to begin.
So, here's to new beginnings then, I guess. I'm fighting for my life and this is one battle I can't afford to lose.
| current weight: 223.4