Thank you so much for your kind words and advise. Everyone tells me that I'm very strong for what has happened in my life, but truly I'm not. I hide all my emotions or try to till it builds up and then I break down. My husband has a couple of close friends that have been checking up on me every week. Every day looking at my husbands picture reminds me of the good and bad times we use to have, but that's normal in any marriage and I truly miss him being around. I feel you pain and my mother has dementia. She has had this for 6 years and she's in a home. My father stopped visiting her and my brother is always visiting mom. There have been so many things that have happened in my life that I could write a novel, but I don't want to bore you. I thank god everyday for being blessed with my 12 year old. He has a slit Aspurger, but I have been put to the test on how to live on this earth and raise my son alone. Everyday my son tells me he loves me and tells me that he's here for me and not to worry. Efferent we say our prayers together and tell his father we love him. Thank you for becoming my new friend :-) God Bless Ursi
Hello Ursi, I too am so sorry to read of your loss.I created a special folder where I save special Forum discussions for me to bring up later to re-read and think about,before replying. I too am a fairly new Widow - June 29th, am a bit older 68 and was never able to have children so my three puss-cats,Cinders, Rastus and Tipsy are my constant very much loved companions. (My page introduces me a little more fully...) One thing I didn't mention was that my hubby, Allen began developing Dementia, diagnosed as Alzheimers approx 7 years ago. He also had a heart condition, aspesdosis and skin cancers which frequently broke out and had regularly to be treated in form or another. The Passing of our "mates" is such a very personal thing ... and something each of us deals with so very differently. Even now there are times when for me it all seems kind of surreal. I came into "Cooking for One or Two" because setting myself a pattern of preparing a meal for one has been my biggest problem, and even although I know I am being foolish, it is also very easy to say .. "Can't be bothered, I'll do something tomorrow." Some of the things I have found helpful for me, are 1-: The memories of times shared...different from living in the past ... and the smiles often evoked. 2-: I have returned to the two groups we worked in together as Volunteers. Both had really happy associations and I am with the people who knew/know us both and so no explanations are necessary. 3-: To try and set myself an eating pattern,I began by buying the little single serve frozen dinner packs and zapping them in the microwave. (Not a perfect solution , but at least a start.) Now, I have the first of my home grown vegetables and so can make salads ... which I love ... etc. There are so many other bits and pieces I could share. So please, feel free to e-mail me through my Spark page if you would like to chat .... Be encouraged Ursi, ... Be kind to yourself, take things one day,one step at a time. Thinking of you and am glad you've joined Spark People !! Hilary.
Hilary . Dunedin. South Island . NZ. Every day when fully lived- is a grand succession of experiences both pleasant and unpleasant - for life is made up of both- and without the one the other would not be recognized or appreciated.
I would much rather have regrets about not doing what people said, than regretting what my heart led me to and wondering what life had been like if I had just been myself. (Brittany Renee)
current weight: 132.0
Fitness Minutes: (5,727) Posts: 2,299 11/29/10 6:52 A
Hi, Ursi. My name is Susan. I also lost my husband this year (April 29). I wish I can give you advice, but I'm going through the same thing as you. My husband was 57 and passed away after a long illness. I stopped going to church, gained weight and develop other bad habits. I'm taking it one day at a time and am slowly getting back. The only thing that I can say helps is when I talk about Willie and hear people's memories of him.
You're welcomed to post here or email me and tell about your husband. How you met, what type of personality he had, anything you feel comfortable talking about. God bless you.
Pounds lost: 0.0
Fitness Minutes: (0) Posts: 33 11/28/10 9:19 A
Hello my name is Ursula, but my friend call me Ursi. I recently lost my husband on September 28th. Eveyday has been a difficult day for me to wake up and only seeing my son and not his father. He was only 39 years old when he passed away and before that he was over weight, but by eating health abd walking eveyday he lost he's weight. I started to as well, but when BooBoo got sick and passed away I got depressed and gave up everything. I gained back 10 pounds and now I just font want to eat at all. I keep praying that thru the holidays things will get better, but it's hard. I try to be happy for my son and his a wonderful child, but he also sees the depression in me. My good friend Debbie mentioned about Sparks and that she loves it. I hope I cannmeet new friends and who have been thru what I'm going thru. God Bless
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