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Welcome to the team!
You can do this! It sounds like he's trying to justify what he's done by lashing out on you. You are much better than that. Just remember, you're worth much more than this and it's his loss, not yours.
Please know you are not alone. I, and many others, have also gone through a divorce. It is messy it is hard, it takes time to recover, especially since as women we tend to think of ourselves as having failed.
The good news is: There is life after divorce and better things are waiting for you!
Now just get yourself together.
- don't overeat
- stick to taking care of yourself. this is YOUR year!
- don't allow him to get you down. He is feeling guilty and needs to make it sound in his mind as if you are the guilty part
- keep talking with your girls, to ensure they also know it is not their fault and not all men are like this.
It took me years to get over my divorce and regain some form of self-worth again, but it will happen. I am now (after a few lousy relationships) finally in a wonderful relationship with a wonderful & kind man and am having the time of my life! Just the kind of man I needed no while going through Perimenopause.
If you feel like you need support shout or write an email.
Look, don't let that as shole cause you to eat yourself into an early grave. He left you. His loss. You are worth way more than what he may have made you feel like.
Success is the best revenge. Get through the divorce, lose your weight, get in shape, and pick up some studly guy at the gym. You are a knock out and it's his problem not yours. Consider the gal he left you for. Now she knows that he has already left one good woman, what's stopping him from leaving her? She should always keep that in the back of her mind. You? You did nothing to feel bad about.
You will do great things.
Start by doing what is necessary, then do what is possible and suddenly you will be doing the impossible. -- St Francis of Assisi
This place is great for motivation and all, but it can be very healing, too.
But you have taken the all-important first step - putting you first.
We cannot control the actions of others, only our responses to it.
Your best response is taking care of you, so that you are able to care for those who care for you. Everything (and everyone) else can just be left behind.
Best wishes to you in your year!
Enjoy your journey!
On no account brood over your wrongdoing.
Rolling in the muck is not the best way of getting clean.
~ Aldous Huxley
~~I shed 56.8 lbs in 2008, and 20.6 in 2009!!! Happily maintaining!!!~~
My ticker represents my Maintenance range!!!
(Reset July10, 2009)
Oh my goodness! You have come to the right place! I would even bet there's a spark team for folks going through a divorce. I'm so sorry to hear how your last year has been. Good for you for wanting to take charge and get your life back and get healthy. Set some goals, and be happy. If you feel good about yourself, it makes everything much easier to work through. I wish you success in meeting your goals. You can do this!
Member of the Pink Panthers- Biggest Loser Winter Warmup Challenge. Go Pink!!
last year my husband of 17 years walked out on me and my girls. he blamed me for everything, when i know there is/was someone else. he has made this very hard especially with his hatfullness, rudeness, name calling and insults. in this time i have probably gained about 30 lbs and the divorce isn't final. i am beginning to come to terms witht he divorce especially with his attitude change and he has compeletly went bonkers. my goal or saying for 2014 is 40 @ 40. i will turn 40 this year and i want to lose 40 lbs. also 2014 is MY year.
just needing a lot of inspiration and help.