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RKORYDER's Photo RKORYDER SparkPoints: (396)
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1/1/12 10:55 P

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Hi everyone!
My name is Charity. I just turned 18 back in October and when I was 15 I was sent to a crazy hospital for the 3rd time in my life (long story) and I was diagnosed with a depressive disorder. It kicks in every once in a while. I'm straight edge which means I don't drink,smoke or do drugs. It's a lifestyle that none of my family gets. lol

From anybody who currently watches WWE (professional wrestling) you can tell that I'm a big fan by my username. :) My dream is also to wrestle for the WWE at some point.Another life choice my family doesn't get. But being at 18 and being around 270 pounds, I feel that I have a better chance of having a heart attack than tearing it up in the ring.And with the new year, I feel that there's no reason to put it off any longer. I need to lose weight or I can kiss my dream of wrestling goodbye.

I know that losing weight isn't going to be easy or happen overnight. It takes alot of work and determination and I know that. I'm ready to change my life and I honestly fear that my depression will stand in my way. When it kicks in I feel so miserable and have absolutely willpower to do anything.Everything overwhelms me.

I currently live with my grandparents and they are going to kick me out whether I have a job or place to go or not. They don't care. Most of the time this just fuels my determination to get a job and place and I know I can do it but when my depression kicks in, I feel like I'm gonna be left to die and feel that nobody cares.

I'm not using my depression as a crutch but whenever I get in a great frame of mind, my depression kicks in and all my optimism crumbles. Anybody who can help me try to control it a little better and just support me, that would be awesome. I really hope to achieve all my goals and hope that everyone else achieves their goals too. :)
Stay Awesome everyone :D

"Rise and Rise again, until lambs become lions."


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