Hi everybody... after a few weeks of being afraid and unsure what to post.. here we go.
My name is Tracy. I am 38. I am the mother of four (18-6). I am currently in my last class for my Associates in Criminal Justice. I will be graduating in March. I will be immediately pursuing my Bachelors in Psychology, which makes me nervous and excited.
I joined Spark People because I saw a friend from high school on Facebook having success here. For the first year and change of my membership I made every excuse to allow me to fail, in weight loss and in life. The biggest one is that itís my fatherís fault. I had an eating disorder when I was a teenager. I was 135 pounds at 5í11Ē and my father would call me fat and I would starve myself. Then once I started having children I couldn't lose the weight and I resigned myself that my father was right that I would always be fat and nobody would love me. Then something even more devastating happened to me. My fiancť told me he was thinking about leaving me and taking our daughter with him. For two weeks I curled into a ball and felt sorry for myself and then one day I realized I canít let my life slip away from me. Itís my life and how I live it is my choice. I can let every bad thing control me. I still have bad days but it is easier for me to tell myself that I am responsible for my life. My past and the people from my past may have done things that have influenced me down to be the person that I hated but I refuse to let them be in my life and in the decisions I make now.
Everything is fine with my fiancť, we worked out our problems. Now, I want to get healthy, I want to get physically and mentally stronger and I want to be a happier more confident person instead of feeling paralyzed.
Edited by: TRACY-M at: 1/31/2013 (17:49)
~*~ Every failure gives you a new chance to achieve. ~*~
| current weight: 275.5