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CLEANEATER1 Posts: 41
8/23/08 2:57 P

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You're definitely not alone in your frustration!

I just read a really great book by Kevin Leman called Have a New Kid by Friday. You basically read one (short!) chapter a day, Monday through Friday, for some very common sense answers to your issues with your kids. And you don't have to have a hellion on your hands, either. It can be applied to any area of your child's life that you are constantly battling with them over. Basically it is all about allowing your children to suffer natural consequences to their behaviour. So if they sleep in, let them be late. Or if they're mouthing off, take away the VERY NEXT privelege they have coming, whether it be TV, computer, an outing with friends, etc. The trick is to be consistent and to follow through on what you say. I admit this is sometimes very hard for me, but I generally soften my approach by giving a warning (my kids are pretty young still!), and if they still disobey, that's the end of it. It works pretty well when you do it consistently!

Always remember you can come here and vent! And don't forget to pray about it, too. Just praying over my kids' behaviour has made such a difference in my attitude as to how I handle it, but also believe it or not, theirs as well. They're never too young or obstinate for God to be working on their own pliable hearts!

~ Andrea ~

Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us keep our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith. ~ Hebrews 12:1&2

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CRUZEN7's Photo CRUZEN7 Posts: 329
8/17/08 6:16 P

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SCION88 Hi!! I did the same thing with my son. It took about 1 week and he stop pooping his pants. I know how you feel. Just make sure she washes her hands afterwards. You might have to watch her while she is washing out her pants. My son tried to flush them down the toilet once. LOL I did catch him at it. He also tried to throw it away. Just watch her and it will all be OK. I will pray for you. Lets just pray that your daughter stops this habit real soon. May god bless you and your family. If you need me I will be here for you. Feel free to email me. I have lots of exprience in the little ones field now that my youngest is 6 yrs old. It is just my preteens that are driving me crazy.

Winning doesn't always mean being first. Winning means you're doing better than you've ever done before. Bonnie Blair

The happiest heart that ever beat. Was in the quite breast. That found the common daylight sweet, and left Heaven the rest. John V. Cheney


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CHLD_OF_GOD's Photo CHLD_OF_GOD Posts: 2,789
8/17/08 4:17 P

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Mine are 3 1/2 and almost 1 1/2... most days the youngest, Corey is pretty manageable, as he will listen to the word no and obey me. However, my oldest, Ashleigh-Erin, is 3 1/2 going on 13. She has days where she acts very know-it-all, and will argue to no end, if you let her. I usually say, "I am not going to argue with you" and if she tries to keep it going, I will just ignore her. She has been spending quite a bit of time in time-out this past week, for going potty in her pants, rather than stopping what she is doing and going up to the bathroom. This is by far the most frustrating thing to me, and many times, I have all I can do to keep my mouth closed and not explode. She told me yesterday that she "poopies" in her panties, "because it is fun". Well... she did just that a few minutes ago, and I finally decided I had enough of sticking my hands in the toilet and washing out yucky panties, so if she thinks it is fun, then she can go ahead and clean them herself. I can't imagine that was fun for her, so maybe this will be the thing that will take away the enjoyment of this nasty habit.

There have been days, that I have been so ready to explode, that I have gone to the bathroom and just sat there de-escalating until I could speak to her in a calm voice. I have also had my husband take her out to the store with him just to have time away to myself.

I can only imagine what the pre-teen years will be like with her.

I will be thinking of you and praying for you, CRUZEN7.

"Once you become a mother, you stop being the picture and start being the frame." - unknown

1 cross + 3 nails = 4given

To the world you might be one person, but to one person you might be the world.

New goals for 2013 (after pregnancy of 2009)

1st goal: 195 by August 21, 2013 (total weight loss *40 lbs)

***Goal met: August 2013 weighed in at 194 ***

Overall Goal met as well... total weight loss to date : 76 lbs.




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8/14/08 12:22 P

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Another thing I do is have them run errands for me. We live in a smaller community that has a few general stores. When I need flour, milk, eggs, etc. I have my older boys walk up town to get the items for me. I will also buy them a drink (non soda)...

Just today, I had one go up to buy some Pledge ~ about 30 minutes later, another went up to buy some carrots for cole slaw (fresh cabbage from the garden is ready). They were dusting the banister, tv, end tables and piano. I didn't realize we didn't have any Pledge. They like to go up if they are getting something in return!

Have a blessed day,
Kelley
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SARAHBOVEY Posts: 830
8/14/08 10:17 A

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I've been going through that the last few days also. Plus it doesn't help that I haven't been feeling weel. One thing that I've found that helps is to put on any type of music and let them dance or take them outside if the weather is permitting and let them run. Most time time when mine are acting up, it's because they have energy that they need to get out. Lots of praying here in the bathroom also. The only problem is our bathroom door has no lock, not much privacy.

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TWINMOM4BOYS's Photo TWINMOM4BOYS Posts: 358
8/13/08 10:40 P

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I have 4 kids and my oldest is 9. I have gone through this so many times. My two older boys fight all the time and cry and whine. I am with Kelley I also make my boys clean and do chores when they misbehave. Most times this will calm them down for a bit but they are at it again before you know it.

My 9 year old seems to think that he knows more that his dad and myself and will agrue with us about everything. He is a know it all. I tell him that I am not going to argue with him and that he is getting too big for his britches. Then I explain to him what happens to kids that argue with their parents. I tell him that he will have to answer to God someday why he was so disrespectful to his parents. This seems to do the trick for a while.

I also will take away all privileges like to, video games, friends, stereo, toys, etc. You get the picture.

I will keep you in my prayers

Whitney

**I Love My Boys**

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~MEGGERS~'s Photo ~MEGGERS~ Posts: 3,007
8/13/08 12:31 P

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Oh Sweetie! I don't have teens either (mine are 2 and 6), but they sure drive me crazy. I love them to bits, but some times.........arg! What I like to do is have bathroom time. I pretend I'm gong potty, but really I just sit there. Usually I pray, sometimes I cry, just whatever I need to do. Getting outside also helps, fresh air can do wonders.
I also understand how easy it is to eat a package of red vines (I like them just as much as chocolate).

Please feel free to come and vent here. We all go through this stuff through a certain extent, and we understand. There is always a 'listening' ear for you!!!

~Meg~



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8/13/08 10:52 A

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I have gone through this 3 times and working on my 4th! All boys, of course...

I put them to work either with me or alone. I always tell them that I am the only women in Masontown that has the cleanest bathrooms around!! Yep, that's right...they smart off, don't listen or are just being unkind to their brothers, they are cleaning what I don't like to clean. Needless to say, I really don't have to clean the bathrooms very much... emoticon Sometimes one of our bathrooms get cleaned 2-3 times.

I don't fret over how "clean" they get it. I have gotten over that stuff awhile ago....as long as they clean whatever they are told to do. I usually have laundry waiting to be folded, that is another option. The kitchen floor always needs swept, or the stairs vacuumed, dishes...See, the list goes on and on! You just have to hold yourself to it.

This works great for me!! Hope it might give you another idea or two...

Have a blessed day,
Kelley

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On my way to a whole new happy, healthy, fit ME!!!


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LA2GACHEREE's Photo LA2GACHEREE Posts: 2,460
8/13/08 9:54 A

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I have a 12 year old daughter who drives me crazy at times. I have told everyone that on her first day of middle school, they must have taken her and sent back an alien in her place. She has changed drastically in the past year, good old preteen hormones and mood swings. The only way I know to deal with it is to try to keep her talking to me, so I know that I annoy her at times, but I try to have a " Hey, how was your day? What's going on with you?" kind of talk almost every day. I don't really have much advice, but if you ever need someone to vent to, I'm here.
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8/13/08 9:47 A

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I'm also far away from the teen years (mine are 2 & 4), but I definately relate to the kids driving me crazy. When I first meet people & tell them about my kids, I say that I'm crazy in love with them, but they drive me crazy too, so it balances out. One thing I have done for myself is my "Mom's Night Off". Every Tuesday night, my husband gets home from work at 5 & I basically pass him in the hall as he walks in & I walk out. He takes care of dinner for the kids & I don't come home until after kids are in bed. I meet girlfriends for dinner & it is my saving grace that gets me through the week.

Hope you find something that works for you!

** Kristen **





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HEATHERANN421's Photo HEATHERANN421 Posts: 3,862
8/13/08 9:39 A

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I am years away from the preteen stage, so I have no advice, but I'll be praying for you!!! Good luck :)

"Losing weight isn't about making willpower an overwhelming new personality trait; it's about changing your everyday behavior. You can do this."

~Jillian Michaels


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CRUZEN7's Photo CRUZEN7 Posts: 329
8/13/08 12:02 A

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My 11 yr old boy and 12 year old girl keep challengeing me at every turn. I feel like I am going crazy. Today was real bad. I had to walk away by myself today. I felt like I hated them. I know I love them and can never truly hate them. I am sure someone understands. Can any help me with these preteens? My oldest was nothing like these two. Maybe because he has ADHD.Any ideas? Please help me. I Almost ate a whole package of Red Vines. Next to choclate they are my downfall. Thank You ahead of time. May God Bless and Keep each of you.

Winning doesn't always mean being first. Winning means you're doing better than you've ever done before. Bonnie Blair

The happiest heart that ever beat. Was in the quite breast. That found the common daylight sweet, and left Heaven the rest. John V. Cheney


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