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MONGO2TEN's Photo MONGO2TEN Posts: 10,881
4/9/09 7:51 P

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Thanks for the advice Mimi. It was really helpful. And so were the articles:)

~Nancy (who is looking in the mirror, saying, "No, Thank You, No Thank You")



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PERSISTENCEMIMI Posts: 11,182
4/9/09 6:34 P

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Nancy

I've practiced for a long time how to say no that by now it's easy for me to just smile kindly and say no thank you, but I do appreciate your offer and thank you. If the person insists, I just repeat my saying again and again..... with a smile and very kindly.

You may say...
* Thank you so much, but as of now I'm full. I'll try it later on.
* Thank you so much, but as I'm full right now, I'll be happy to taste a small bite and take the rest home for dessert tonight.

It's hard at the beginning to say no thank you, but the more you practice it, the easier it gets.


6 ways to say no to food pushers

weightloss.about.com/od/emotionsmoti
va
tion/a/foodpushers.htm



Diabetes: How to Say No to Food Pushers

food.yahoo.com/articles/eatingwell/2
04
56/diabetes-how-to-say-no-to-food-puR>shers;_ylt=Ajj6R0RBooU6_8QS9KFQbxtaZuY5





Edited by: PERSISTENCEMIMI at: 4/9/2009 (19:09)
I'll celebrate 10 years of maintenance on July 2nd, 2014!

Leader of W8watchers superb healthy recipes

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=10495


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MONGO2TEN's Photo MONGO2TEN Posts: 10,881
4/9/09 6:05 P

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This was good Mimi. One thing you said that stuck out for me was learning to say no. We have a lot of church get togethers and I have a very hard time saying no to things I really don't want to eat. A dear lady made a homemade apple pie. I don't like apple pie, didn't want it, but didn't want to hurt her feelings, so I ate a large slice she cut for me. I did go home, figure out the points and journaled them, but wish I could have found a way to decline without hurting her feelings. Anyone have suggestions for times like that? It happens to me frequently.

~Nancy



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DTRMNEDME's Photo DTRMNEDME Posts: 9,376
4/9/09 5:07 P

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great post Mimi.
thanks

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PERSISTENCEMIMI Posts: 11,182
4/9/09 4:52 P

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It's unique to ask this question and get different answers. That means that not everything works for everyone. We're individuals and we find the answers that work for us.
That's great!

I reached goal weight almost 5 years ago, and I was a perfectionist for the first 3 years. I finally realized that I couldn't continue to be at maintenance if I'll continue to be "perfect" (what perfect means?). I needed more and more flexibility and balance.
I allways believed, and still do, that the hardest thing to work on is to learn to deal with emotions not through foods. I don't think I've ever gained the weight through my life (while playing the "Yo-Yo" game) because I was physically hungry.
That is what I'm learning more and more: recognizing emotional hunger and dealing with it without needing to feed it with comfort foods, but finding other solutions. And that's mainly what self control means to me.

It also means so many other things:
* To not be deprived of any foods I like, while working them into my plan, like Nancy said.
* Learning to say no when I want to.
* Educating myself on health and nutrition so I make the right choices with self control (our team is so great for that!).
* Portion control.
* Understanding that this journey is not allways easy, but necessary for my health.
* Do what works best for me.
* Taking care of me.
* Knowing that there will be times that I will not have self control, accept it, and get back on plan immedietely after.
* Enjoy the ride (for most of the time.....).

I could think of many more..... but it's time to rest and take care of me!!! Self-Control!

Have a great day

Love your answers!


Edited by: PERSISTENCEMIMI at: 4/9/2009 (16:55)
I'll celebrate 10 years of maintenance on July 2nd, 2014!

Leader of W8watchers superb healthy recipes

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=10495


525 Maintenance Weeks
 
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DTRMNEDME's Photo DTRMNEDME Posts: 9,376
4/9/09 3:41 P

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That doesn't mean though that I am not going to slip. I know I will, but the self control in me will get back on it and not allow myself to continue on the path that I was on because I now know that if I do I will die.

Let's all help each other to be stronger and try to take control of US.

hugs,
Sandy

Edited by: DTRMNEDME at: 4/9/2009 (15:42)
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HUNGRYWOMAN2's Photo HUNGRYWOMAN2 Posts: 10,832
4/9/09 3:23 P

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Great! I too, believe in personal responsiblity, and know that I am allowing myself to let the emotions get the most of me. Actually, this is one of the many things I am trying to work on.

Teresa






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Men's best successes come after their worst failures"

Henry Ward Beecher


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DTRMNEDME's Photo DTRMNEDME Posts: 9,376
4/9/09 2:16 P

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When I think of self control I immediately think about what self is...According to Webster's Dictionary self means...one's individual person and that is me.

I no longer allow food to be the controller. I have taken over the control of me and what goes into my mouth. No one or anything else can control me...I am in charge of me and It's up to me to say No! to the things I cannot have. emoticon

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HUNGRYWOMAN2's Photo HUNGRYWOMAN2 Posts: 10,832
4/9/09 12:08 P

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Knowledge often is the result of asking the right questions. This was right on target for me. Reading the responses put so eloquently reminds me of my own jouney.
I am a perfectionist. This has often interfered in some way whether I was aware of it or not. More so now that I am trying to maintain. I began because I knew my life literally depended on it. It still does.
I do best in a controlled environment. When routine is interrupted and my life becomes chaotic I have more trouble with self-care. I, too, have plans a, b etc. I also know that I can't have certain foods around. When I do, I try to keep to measured portions, but when I realize I will eat more and not care, I know I am in trouble. I try to replace it with fluids or sometimes exercise or both.
I have tendencies towards compulsive eating at times. I have workd in the field of chemical dependency and the same rules do apply. Sometimes, I will reflect on what I have learned from those who have taught me so much.


Teresa






~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Men's best successes come after their worst failures"

Henry Ward Beecher


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MONGO2TEN's Photo MONGO2TEN Posts: 10,881
4/9/09 11:34 A

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It is definitely about portion control. I would love to always be in total control, but it just doesn't happen. I do have to have things planned in advance and it's helpful if I have a Plan B, C and D - lol

Strength - Exercising and Journaling. This is part of my life now and I do it without thinking.

Weakness - I cannot to this day have certain foods in my house unless they are prepackaged. A bag of chips, macaroni and cheese, are trigger foods. So, I only buy 100 calorie packs of chips, I only eat macaroni and cheese at restaurants, I don't have a half gallon of Moose Tracks Ice Cream in my freezer.

Opportunities - To become so much more healthy and fit than I ever thought possible

Threats - Boredom

Strategies for self control - I have a list of things to do other than eat. I put little motivational quotes on my tracker. On Fridays, I plan my day completely in advance, what I'm eating, how many points, etc. because that tends to be a difficult day for me. Also, I allow myself treats when I really want them. I work them into my plan and don't let myself become too deprived.

~Nancy



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NELLJONES's Photo NELLJONES SparkPoints: (205,538)
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4/9/09 10:14 A

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This is a big question. I am a recovering alcoholic with over 32 years of sobriety. For alcoholics, loss of control that results in a drink can all to often result in death or jail. We learn that in a moment when you find your resolve weak, call someone or go to a meeting or both. We learn to rely on a Higher Power and others in the program because by ourselves we just can't overcome the problem.

Same with food, which is why I needed WW meetings. When confronted with illegal food, I called someone and the desire passed. Like I later did in AA, the reflex action was to ask someone for help, just tell me what I know already because desire makes my knowlege thin.

The problem with food is that all too many people really don't want a new way of life. They want to be able to eat the way they want to and still look the way they want. They convince themselves that thin people eat as much as they themselves would like to eat, but they just get away with it. There is an ad on TV for a "weight loss aid" called Stacker Two, I think. It shows a group of models at a pool banquet stuffing cakes and sweets into their mouths, getting it all over themselves in their frantic rush to eat. In reality, naturally thin people don't even want to do that. The only people that ad would appeal to are the fat and desperate. It's dishonest.

Before you can even think about self control you have to be honest about your desires. If your goal is to get to the point where you can eat all the cakes pies and cookies you want, then self control isn't an issue. You'll lose weight then gain it right back. If you want to be thin and are willing to do whatever it takes to achieve that, then you can learn to control what you do when you want to eat something you know you shouldn't, and it isn't gritting your teeth and soldiering through. Ask for help from a fellow traveller, there are plenty of us around. You may think it's silly to call a friend and tell her that you really want Cheetos and are afraid you'll eat them, but it isn't. Grocery shop with a friend if necessary. Whatever it takes.

I don't know why, but in our society asking for help is viewed as weak. How dumb is that?! Every time you help another person through a tough time, you help yourself, too. And over time, you'll find yourself handling situations without eating, and making the kind of close friends we all need.

And no matter how long you are at goal, it is still the same. I don't need help as much as I used to, but I still call friends to commiserate.

Sorry for the long response. To my mind it is the central concept of weight loss.

Nell

No one ever got up in the morning wishing she'd eaten more the night before.

Original Goal: 114. Current old lady goal: 106.


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FISHINGLADY66's Photo FISHINGLADY66 Posts: 200,228
4/9/09 9:54 A

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My self control means portion control to me.

I don't think I need self control 100% of the time, but it should always be in my mind. I don't think anyone can have self control 100% of the time. I think it is inhuman.

Strength- Being healthy and mind over matter.
Weakness- Emotions
Opportunities- ?
Threats- Holidays

Have a great day everyone!

Irene from Missouri

Any type of action always drives motivation.

"Arriving at one goal is the starting point to another." - John Dewey


 
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PERSISTENCEMIMI Posts: 11,182
4/9/09 8:36 A

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1. What self control means to you?

That was the question we discussed in our weight watchers meeting this week.

I would like to add one more question.

2. Do you think you need or want to have self control 100% of the time?
Can we have self control 100% of the time?

If not, why?

SWOT - What are your

Strengths
Weaknesses
Opportunities
Threats

What are your internal and external strategies for self control?

Please share your thoughts. Thank you.


Mind over matter and self control

www.articlesbase.com/fitness-article
s/
mind-over-matter-weight-loss-19792.html


Self Control

www.advancingwomen.com/women2/self-c
on
trol.php





Edited by: PERSISTENCEMIMI at: 4/9/2009 (08:42)
I'll celebrate 10 years of maintenance on July 2nd, 2014!

Leader of W8watchers superb healthy recipes

www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=10495


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