SparkPeople Mommies of Angel Babies Team Messageboard Losing your baby due to miscarriage, still birth or any type of pregancy loss is tragic and this is a place to talk about it. SparkPeople Mommies of Angel Babies Team Messageboard Where did you all go? Where is everyone? How are you all doing on your journeys? Any rainbow babies out there? How are you handling the losses? Thu, 2 Jun 2016 00:44:09 EST How is everyone holding up? We've been pretty quiet lately, so I thought I'd say hi and check in. I'm doing fairly well. We had the 1 year annviersary of our angel baby's death not that long ago. Spent the day just the 3 of us as a family at a museum letting our oldest play. It was a bittersweet day, but it was nice to spend time together and remember the baby. Wed, 11 Mar 2015 19:20:14 EST Baby was due this month. And I'm sad. I keep remembering that I SHOULD be getting ready to welcome my baby home...but my baby's gone. Most everyone in my life seems to have forgotten. I think my husband thinks I'm silly for still being so upset still. Maybe its cause he wasn't the one carrying her. I don't know. I'm just sad. Sat, 20 Sep 2014 22:18:42 EST new here Hey I'm Lindsey and I am 24. I have had 2 miscarriages this year. I don't plan on TTC anytime soon but when I do I want to be healthier. I know my weight had nothing to do with it but I would feel better the next time if I were healthier. I'd love someone to talk to who know what I am going through! Mon, 1 Sep 2014 22:50:30 EST conversation with a stranger :( I'm so sad right now. I met a stranger at Starbucks, I complimented her on her shirt, and we started chatting. I mentioned my 15 mo old, and she her 13 year old. Then she started talking about how she'd never want to get pregnant again, and if she did she'd probably kill herself...I just stood there, thinking, God, what I wouldn't give to still be pregnant. <BR> Yes, pregnancy is hard, but it's a blessing too, knowing that you're bringing a baby into this world. <BR> Hearing her talk l... Wed, 9 Jul 2014 18:05:01 EST How is everyone? I feel like I have been avoiding coming on here for a bit. I do that sometimes I hope you can understand. Tonight my thoughts are going back. Every time I hear about some person's mind goes back. Any way how are you? Can I help? Wed, 2 Jul 2014 21:26:42 EST Going crazy! The last 3 weeks have been REALLY hard. I know I've said in the past (especially right after Angelique died) I would randomly FEEL pregnant. No real reason, just a FEELING. <BR> <BR> Well, for the last couple of weeks or maybe 3, I forget, I have had every pregnancy symptom under the sun it seems. <BR> <BR> I've had light cramps. <BR> I've had dizziness. <BR> I've had nasuea. <BR> I had a couple of sucky days with my epilepsy. (usually a symptom for me) <BR> I've had spotting. <BR>... Sat, 21 Jun 2014 19:42:03 EST New to the group My name is Stephanie. I'm 27. I was 8 weeks when we lost our angel. Its been just over 2 months, and I'm still trying to heal. I am so glad to find this group. Tue, 3 Jun 2014 22:17:02 EST New to the group :) Hi All, <BR> My name is Julissa and I lost my angel, Teagan, at 10 weeks on 3/24/14 when I naturally miscarried. For a couple of weeks, the doctors tried to find a heartbeat, but there was none present. I even went for a second opinion just to make sure, but still no heartbeat. I went to the hospital on 3/22 when I started spotting and having some cramping and was told I would probably miscarry in a day or two, which I did. I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the loss of my ... Tue, 6 May 2014 11:05:36 EST Happy tears When I found out I I was pregnant with Angelique-Michole, the baby who died, I had mentioned it on Spark. One of my spark friends who wasn't around for the misscarriage just asked about the baby, as I would have been in my 2nd trimester. It was nice to have someone ask about her. <BR> <BR> It kind of seems like so many people want to just pretend she never existed. It was nice to have her acknowledged, ya know? Fri, 2 May 2014 21:05:49 EST meltdown I'm really hoping that you guys understand this, cause I don't know who else to talk to about this. <BR> I had a complete melt down today. I lost my baby about 2 mo ago. <BR> I have always carried my weight in my belly, causing people to ask if I was pregnant long before I was pregnant with my son or the baby I lost. <BR> Unfortunately, the weight I've lost has come off in every OTHER place - feet, chin, butt, hands. So I still LOOK pregnant. <BR> All of what I wear makes me look preg... Wed, 9 Apr 2014 12:32:11 EST Hi I'm new Hi all, <BR> <BR> My name is Sarah and I just joined sparkpeople last week. I gave birth (still birth) to my baby at just 16 weeks pregnant. It was a healthy pregnancy up until my water broke. <BR> <BR> I need help healing. Mon, 7 Apr 2014 14:20:00 EST Hi, I'm Michelle and an Angel Mom to Three. Hi everyone, <BR> I just joined spark (again, I was a member a few years ago) today and found this group and thought it would be helpful. <BR> I'm 38 and have lost three angels to miscarriage. We lost Apple ( our nickname for our first child b/c our last name is McIntosh and a family friend calls us the apples) at 6 weeks 4 days gestation and heard those dreaded words, "There is no heartbeat" on August 22, 2012. I tried to miscarry naturally but needed help and had a d&c on October 5, 2012. W... Thu, 20 Mar 2014 00:22:20 EST How do I heal...? elanie and I am a multiple loss survivor. Though my last miscarriage was in early 2013 I do not feel like I have dealt with any of them emotionally. <BR> <BR> My first pregnancy was absolutely perfect. We tried once on the last day of my fertile window of that month. The pregnancy was beautiful and healthy and I have an incredible 5 year old boy who I am thankful for every single day. <BR> <BR> I have not had a successful pregnancy since. I have had a loss at 9 weeks, 7 weeks, 7 weeks aga... Thu, 9 Jan 2014 15:03:53 EST Hi I'm Kelly My name is Kelly. I am 30 years old. I have a 3 year old son who is my joy. Last March I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks. We were very excited to learn in early May we were pregnant again this time with twins. It was an extremely high risk pregnancy as the girls shared an amniotic sac which is very very rare. Our girls were stillborn on 12/3 2 days before our scheduled early delivery. <BR> <BR> We are hoping to conceive again this year, but I want to make sure I am in the best shape I ca... Wed, 1 Jan 2014 12:16:40 EST wishing you all peace and happiness I know this time of year can be difficult (to say the least) I just want to wish you all the best. Please remember to be kind to yourself! <BR> <BR> Peace, <BR> moonlit Mon, 23 Dec 2013 02:09:37 EST wishing all of you the best! I know this can be a hard time. I just wanted to tell you all that I know and I hope you can find some joy and peace. <BR> <BR> Peace, <BR> moonlit Sun, 22 Dec 2013 04:06:49 EST Hi, I'm StephAnn I don't really talk about my loss very much because I don't know that many people in my life that truly understand what I have been through. It happened January 11, 2012. I remember blinding pain and a lot of blood, followed by months of depression that I'm still working through. It's a struggle every day, especially when it seems like I keep seeing pregnant people everywhere and I feel jealous. I'm glad I found this group, because it's nice to know I'm not alone. <BR> <BR> - StephAnn Sat, 19 Oct 2013 21:14:14 EST Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day Today is the official Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day and I'm thinking of all of us unwilling members of the sisterhood that have lost pieces of ourself too soon. For me, this past Sunday marked the year anniversary of my second miscarriage and all at once a year has felt like an eternity and like no time at all. <BR> <BR> I'll be lighting a candle tonight at 7 pm to be a part of the "wave of light" that will hopefully sustain a burning flame around the world for 24 hours today in ... Tue, 15 Oct 2013 16:52:04 EST how is everyone? I have had mostly good days, but I am in a bad one. I just miss..........I miss my baby. My heart is breaking. I feel like I have nothing to has been so long and still it hurts. I'm thinking about going into a group thing again, but I don't know...I have kids and so many do not and I want to help them, but I don't think I can. I'm sad. Tue, 20 Aug 2013 04:49:18 EST how is everyone? I know it's easy to hide and hold our pain inside. and I know that many people around us don't understand. So how are you? How are you dealing? How is life? Do you want or need to talk about your loss?? I know there are times I need to talk and there are very few if none people that can handle this. So if you need...please because I need............. Sun, 18 Aug 2013 01:45:19 EST my story... molar pregnancy Greetings I am back and ready to lose these pounds. I had signed up for sparkpeople before but I got pregnant. I found out I was pregnant December 1st. My husband and myself were so happy. We went for our 7 week appointment everything great. However we went to hear the heartbeat at 12 weeks and there was no heartbeat they did so many different test and procedures to hear the test. They came to the conclusion that I had a molar pregnancy. On January 25th I went to the hospital to have my D&C. ... Tue, 13 Aug 2013 18:41:38 EST Weight Loss Post-Mis carriage Hello All - It's kind of hard to find information on the internet about miscarriages (I guess because nobody likes to talk about it!). I wondered if anyone else had A LOT of difficulty losing weight after their miscarriage. <BR> <BR> I had a D&C procedure 6 weeks ago (I have yet to have my first period since then). I've been following SparkPeople's guidelines (3 weeks) for my calorie intake/exercise requirements to lose weight. However, my scale isn't budging. Did anyone else have this i... Mon, 15 Jul 2013 14:13:10 EST Mothers day I want to wish a mothers day for all those of us that lost. We are still mothers. I know you miss yours like I do. They were real, they were here and ....I miss you my baby my love. Mon, 13 May 2013 02:23:25 EST WELCOME TO NEW MEMBERS I AM HERE IF YOU EVER NEED TO SHARE OR SEND ME A MESSAGE XOX Sat, 20 Apr 2013 14:51:28 EST RPL testing As I now have had 3 miscarriages and no live births, we have gotten a referral to repeat pregnancy loss testing. I have had 9 vials of blood drawn, but I haven't had the meeting to get the results yet. <BR> <BR> Has anyone else gone through RPL testing? Did they find anything? Was it treatable, not treatable? And what happened after it? <BR> Has anyone gone on to have a succesful pregnancy after many losses? <BR> <BR> Looking for somebody elses experience. I feel completely hopeless. I'm wi... Sat, 20 Apr 2013 13:53:17 EST March 13th In 2009 on March 13th I found out that my unborn child had no heart beat. this was one of the worst days of my life. So now it's March 13th again and well I feel and it sucks. Don't know what else to say. Thu, 14 Mar 2013 03:08:05 EST Hello to all.... Hello, my name is Ashley. I'm a mother to 4 beautiful children, 2 living and 2 that look over me everyday I love to read do crafts and love to be with my children. After the lost of my last child I started to get into deep depression and now I'm finally ready to climb to the top of the hill again so I'm ready to lose weight and tone my stomach. Wed, 6 Mar 2013 22:38:06 EST New to this team Hi all! <BR> I've been looking around the boards and unfortunately I already know some of you from the infertility team. <BR> I'm sad this team even exists, but here I am... <BR> <BR> I just had my third miscarriage this weekend. We've been TTC for 2½ years now. First 15 cycles nothing happened. Then we started the IF-workup. I found out I was pregnant in the middle of it, so the clinic cancelled the rest and just wished us good luck. <BR> That pregnancy ended in a missed miscarriage at 9 w... Wed, 27 Feb 2013 13:50:17 EST New to team, 2nd angel baby Hi, all. I'm Shannon, and in week six of miscarrying my 2nd little one. Between the early pregnancy bizarre cravings and then depression over how hard this loss has been on me physically, I'm up 20 pounds (45 from goal) and in need of a team for motivation and emotional support. So, here I am. :) Sun, 17 Feb 2013 22:23:03 EST Having a tough time I've been trying to listen to only Christian music and have been reading the Bible plan on God's promises. And I've been reading the Shack which is about a man having a personal confrontation with God after losing his daughter. It has some really interesting points, But I don't seem to find comfort in much of it or anything for that matter. It just makes me more mad, sad, confused. I just can't seem to reconcile the fact of a "loving" God who already "foreknew" the outcome letting me go thro... Sat, 9 Feb 2013 10:23:33 EST How is everyone? I just wanted to touch base and say I wish we all weren't apart of this team. If you need to talk I'm here...I frankly could use to talk. <BR> Peace Mon, 28 Jan 2013 02:18:14 EST It's been years and yet I'm still hurting........ What do we do to go on and yet not forget? <BR> I think my husband must think I'm insane at this point. I had my missed miscarriage on Friday the 13th night of hell and here I am in January of 2013 crying for my baby. Does this ever end????????????????????? Mon, 28 Jan 2013 02:14:54 EST waiting to miscarry I had a perfect, dreamy wonderful first pregnancy - up until 6 days before her due date. Then I went to the hospital because I hadn't felt her move for a few hours, to find out she had no heartbeat. I delivered her body 3 days later. This was about 3 months ago. <BR> <BR> I found out I was pregnant again - and so happy. I had this feeling that if only I could have a baby, I could make all this terrible WRONG get right again. Get back on track. <BR> <BR> Went to the doc for what I thought w... Sun, 20 Jan 2013 18:04:30 EST Hard time this weekend I am having such a hard time this weekend. I'm feeling anxious and depressed. I get emotional easily. It's been almost 4 months, but weekends are still the hardest (I miscarried on a Sunday.) <BR> I keep thinking how far along I'd be... What we'd be doing to get ready... I just can't stop. Last night I walked past the mirror and my reflection caught my eye. I stopped, pushed my stomach out as far as it would go to look pregnant (not too difficult unfortunately)... I just stared at myself, an... Sun, 6 Jan 2013 11:32:20 EST Blighted Ovum....2nd loss Hi Ladies, <BR> <BR> I am going through my 2nd miscarriage, my first miscarriage was 5yrs back(MMC at 9 weeks).Myself and my husband then decided not to try for a year or so as we were not prepared mentally and financially. <BR> Then we were trying since 2011 beginning, my cycles were totally abnormal, due to hypothyroid and mild PCOS.We tried 2 Clomid cycle (one IUI) and one femara cycle, all these time I ovulated but never got pregnant. <BR> My thyroid was under strict medication,and was t... Wed, 2 Jan 2013 09:54:33 EST trying not to show it. My nephew had a baby girl, my niece had a baby girl and my other niece had twin girls. I am so happy for them but I am having such a hard time. I find myself making excuses to not go see them. Then when I'm needed to help I drag myself late to help and I am really thrilled to see the babies (the twins) and my niece and I really do want to help her, but by the time I leave I feel like I have been through a war. My heart hurts and I can't function the next day. I just miss my baby. Fri, 21 Dec 2012 01:06:31 EST Birthday today- no mood to celebrate Today I turned 38. I just couldn't get in the celebrating mood. I've been so depressed lately. Nothing really perks me up.i feel like I'm in a fog, unable to experience any real feelings besides sadness and emptiness. I need to be a happier me for my husband and my son. I just don't know how. Therapy and meds aren't helping much. I just want to feel joy again! Sat, 15 Dec 2012 22:30:12 EST Ovarian cysts... Ladies I need your inputs!! Long story short.. wednesday bad pain right side thought i was dying, went to doc thursday, sent me for a CT scan today.. results 1in ovarian cyst that ruptured (which is why i was in so much pain).. ER doc told me ok to still try getting pregnant... now i'm wondering.. could this cyst be the reason I'm miscarrying?!? (i know the cyst was there when i miscarried the first time GYN/OB told me it was there but didn't seem to care) ER doc didn't seem to know the answe... Fri, 7 Dec 2012 15:43:54 EST Medication for Pregnancy.... So, how many women out there have had to take a boatload of meds for their pregnancy? It's starting to look like I'm going to be on as many as 5-6 different Rx drugs in addition to my prenatal, extra folic supp and probably iodine supp. I think my thyroid issues are back again, so I'll need that, in addition to the Lovenox or heparin for this new low-level clotting risk and I'm already on Metformin for PCOS (which is also new) then the progesterone, additional HCG and something else. Thu, 6 Dec 2012 10:57:10 EST need words of encouragement I am having my niece's baby shower at my house tomorrow, she's due with twin girls. I love her, but we haven't exactly been on good terms for a while (her issues not mine). I want to help her and I know she is going to need help and really I want to. But my issues on my lose are coming up now. I just don't know how to deal with this when all I want is to just have my baby. I just need some words of comfort and advice. Sat, 24 Nov 2012 23:42:53 EST Why you should seek a 2nd or 3rd or 10th! opinion So, I FINALLY got to go to my fertility doc appt yesterday. The nurse does my ultrasound and pretty much immediately tells me I have PCO for 7+ yrs! And, I most likely do have PCOS. I went to an Endocrinologist 7 years ago and they pretty much dismissed the idea of PCO(S). Granted, to some extent, I do get why they refused to do any imaging back then because I've allllways had TOTALLY regular cycles and because irregular cycles are like the #1 sign of PCOS. <BR> <BR> In any case, my symptom... Wed, 21 Nov 2012 10:40:21 EST progesterone supplements? Good morning ladies. I am trying to decide whether or not to take a progesterone supplement the next time we TTC. I haven't actually had my progesterone levels tested, but my doctor offered to give me a prescription because she said it "can't hurt" and "could help". I've been reading a lot of accounts from women who said that taking progesterone was possibly the missing link for a healthy pregnancy. What do you all think? Any experience with taking progesterone after MC? <BR> <BR> Aft... Tue, 13 Nov 2012 13:43:14 EST I do NOT want a fight or to offend anyone I'm just curious and I feel like people around me do not understand!! A few say they do but I really need to vent. IF you do not like this conversation PLEASE <em>303</em> do not read and get offended (THAT IS NOT WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO!!) <BR> <em>228</em> Serious, sensitive, conversation!! <em>228</em> <BR> For anyone who is interested, it's about the news, politics on abortion!! <BR> Does anyone else feel like they are being SLAPPED in the face when people talk about it like it's N... Thu, 8 Nov 2012 12:51:35 EST 1st therapy appointment tomorrow I have my first therapy appointment tomorrow. My miscarriage was almost 2 months ago, and it took this long to get in. I've been doing so much better that I'm almost afraid going to therapy will bring it back to the surface again. But I'm also afraid if I don't go it will rear its ugly head when I least expect it. Any advice? Wed, 7 Nov 2012 23:34:39 EST Les petits pieds de Lea For all my fellow french Mommies.. Celine Dion sings a new song on her french album called "les petit pieds de Lea" sure hits home.. Here's the youtube link.. <BR><BR>K4 <BR> <BR> here's the english translation of the lyrics.. (tried my best.. lol) <BR> <BR> Leah's little feet <BR> <BR> I do not know you, <BR> But you made me laugh out loud <BR> With small mice strokes <BR> You gave behind my navel <BR> <BR> Even without knowing you, <BR> I lo... Mon, 5 Nov 2012 13:53:30 EST What did you do for yourself today? So, I wanted to open up a discussion about this because I'm really starting to focus on ME--finally. It's maybe the first time since perhaps college, that I've focused on me. This time, it's more than just education, however. This is more of a internal, spiritual search, so that I can find my balance again. I want to be happy in who I am and be able to really project the right values and love and energy onto my family--including my future children. <BR> <BR> Anyways, I've decided to start go... Mon, 5 Nov 2012 09:09:02 EST My William On August 10th around 8pm, my water broke. I was 41 weeks pregnant and so excited to finally meet my son. I went to sleep that night and waited for contractions to start. Although contractions never really started, we went to the hospital the afternoon of August 11th. Everything was looking good. My water had, in fact, broken and I was having very mild inconsistent contractions. I was admitted to the hospital for monitoring. William's heart beat was strong, he was moving around. He just would... Wed, 10 Oct 2012 23:37:27 EST Second Angel Baby I just had my second miscarriage - both at about 5 weeks. I know I'm lucky in that sense, because I can only imagine how much harder it is later on. But now I know that it wasn't a fluke, that there is actually something wrong with me that is causing this. How can I not be depressed about that? I'm trying to stay positive and get in to see my doctor and see if we can check for some of the most likely causes, like PCOS and low thyroid. And I'm really hoping they find something that is sim... Mon, 8 Oct 2012 17:04:35 EST How is everyone? I just wanted to touch base with everyone. I know personally I tend to disengage when I feeling sad or lonely and I'm trying to get out of this pattern. I just wanted to say I hope you are well and I'm here if you need to vent. <BR> <BR> peace, <BR> moonlit Mon, 1 Oct 2012 21:20:22 EST Feeling very alone... Has anyone else felt super isolated once you told people? It may just be in my head, but now I feel more alone than ever (at least this morning.) It's that people know, they're less willing to talk to me because they probably don't even know what to say. This, of course, excludes close family because they're always checking in on me. I'm more referring to coworkers (that are friends) that I have told...or even other friends (that I mainly talk to online because they are long distan... Mon, 1 Oct 2012 10:53:13 EST Hi all Hi All, <BR> My name is Natacha i've suffered 2 miscarriages. 1 July 2011 I was 13 wks, and a 2nd on May 16th 2012.. 3 days before my wedding.. <BR> I think this is the hardest thing I've had to go through.. I grieve..... but people don't know for what.. they say I didn't know my baby so why am I grieving.. I feel people just don't understand.. the milisecond you find out you are expecting.. like a switch goes off and you become a mother.. That lil pea sized baby inside of me, was a part of ... Wed, 26 Sep 2012 14:03:41 EST Multiple D&Cs I was just curious...has anyone on here had multiple D&C surgeries or have any issues with having more than one if you've had multiple MCs? Mon, 24 Sep 2012 13:09:02 EST Unwillingly Thrust Back into the Fold.... I cannot believe I'm going through this again. Roughly 9 months ago I went through my first pregnancy and subsequent MC at 8 wks, when I was told the baby stopped developing at around 6 wks. It was a missed MC, so my body didn't want to recognize the MC or start the process on it's own. <BR> <BR> Yesterday was my 1st OB appt for this 2nd pregnancy and sure enough--all of my fears were confirmed when we finally got past all the damn waiting in the U/S room and looked at the U/S. Nothing there... Wed, 19 Sep 2012 10:42:26 EST New here. Hi everyone. I decided to join because we lost our baby (who would have been our fourth child) at around 9 weeks into the pregnancy. I had thought I was alright.....I was breaking down a LOT after it happened, but only recently did it start to hit me again, and I needed somewhere, anywhere to be able to talk/vent about it. I don't know how to heal. Plus, this also has really put my marriage into a bad spot as well, and just wondering if that's normal. Wed, 12 Sep 2012 23:37:51 EST Today was suppose to be my due date. 9-11-09 was my due date, 3-13-09 I found out that my baby boy did not have a heart beat. Today I just find myself wanting to be alone. I'm okay but I'm kinda numb right now. <BR> I miss you Angel Jude! I wish I got to hold you, I wish you were here with me right now, I wish I got a chance to be your mom! <BR> I will never forget you my love. <BR> <BR> Tue, 11 Sep 2012 20:40:15 EST 5th Loss Hello all. My name is Sharylann. I had my fifth loss this week. I have PCOS. My first was an ectopic pregnancy and then I had two more within six months of the first one so within nine months I lost three. Last September I lost a fourth one and now this last week I lost my fifth. <BR> <BR> This time has me in an emotional roller coaster. However, I have to say that the pain that I had when I first started losing them when I would see another pregnant woman or when I'd hear that a sibli... Mon, 10 Sep 2012 23:33:04 EST reintroduce so i have been kind of distant from spark people for several months, so i am finally getting myself back into this again, i've been doing well dieting but just not using the site. I need to use it again for even just the miscarriage/infertility issues/venting/support. <BR> <BR> so i've been in this group for a while now, but i thought i'd reintroduce myself and introduce myself to the new people. My husband and I have been on the TTC journey for 19 months now. In March of this year, I got pr... Wed, 5 Sep 2012 23:21:10 EST New mommy of an angel Hi all, <BR> I'm new to the team, but not new to Sparkpeople. My husband and I found out we were expecting last Nov. I had an uneventful pregnancy, working too hard but no complications. In June, after a high BP reading, I had an ultrasound which showed our little tyke to be 7lbs at 35 weeks. They decided to monitor his weight gain, and I had another ultrasound at 37 weeks, where he measured 8lbs 14oz. I had a regular appointment at 38 weeks, and they were unable to find his heartbeat wi... Tue, 28 Aug 2012 09:27:11 EST Does it ever stop hurting? It was March 13th 2009 when I found out that my unborn son's heart wasn't beating, his due date was September 11 2009. It's now 3 years later and September is approaching and I hurt. I hurt so bad and no one around me understands so I hide it. I just wonder does this ever end? Fri, 24 Aug 2012 00:12:22 EST Anyone else ready to start TTC again? I am:) I was just curious how many of you out there are actively TTC again. (Or maybe you wouldn't still be on this team pg anymore if you were actively trying?) It's been almost 8 months since my D&C. <BR> <BR> My husband and I had our first official (cycle) where we actively tried, this past week. I guess we'll find out in another 2 weeks or so... <BR> <BR> Just thought I'd put this out there to put out some positive vibes:) Tue, 31 Jul 2012 10:35:16 EST Returning Member Hello everyone! <BR> <BR> My name is Celeste. I am 27 years old. <BR> <BR> I have experienced 3 child losses to date, and the odds of me getting to have children, are very small. <BR> <BR> June 10th 2004, I lost Hunter James. It was a termination, however, it was due to a sexual assault. <BR> <BR> October 18th, I miscarried Autumn Rose. She was a missed miscarriage. <BR> <BR> July 9th 2005, I lost Lilith Ariana. <BR> <BR> I have battled pre-cervical cancer before and due to all the fema... Wed, 25 Jul 2012 23:06:41 EST prayer Lets take a moment to remember all babies born sleeping, or whom we have carried but never met, or those we have held but could not take home, or the ones who came home but could not stay. Make this your profile status, if you, or someone you know has suffered the loss of a baby. The majority won't do it, because unlike cancer, baby loss is still a taboo subject. Break the silence. In memory of lost beautiful angels. Thu, 19 Jul 2012 09:32:37 EST lost my baby... I just recently lost my baby....last week i went to the doctors, should have been 8.5 weeks, and was only measuring at 6 said to come back this week (i went on thursday) no change, no heart beat. the doctor scheduled me for a d and c friday. im devastated. my husband and i had been trying for over 15 months....we finally got pregnant with our first...i was beyond happy...and now my life has fallen apart... <BR> <BR> how do i move on? i just feel like i could cry all the time.... Sun, 20 May 2012 10:28:33 EST First pregnancy, lost to ectopic Hi I'm Michelle. <BR> <BR> just over two weeks ago I had to terminate my first pregnancy because it was in my right tube. We'd tried for two years with PCOS and I thought we were done - how much grief do two people deserve? I lost my baby at 7 weeks. I was fortunate to have an amazing fertility doc who was following me so closely though....two shots of methotrexate and no surgery saved my tube. <BR> <BR> I am physically safe now, and over some of the worst sadness and anger. But I know I st... Sun, 6 May 2012 20:40:44 EST Hello Im new! I am 20 right now.I had a miscarriage a year and a half ago.My kiddo would have turned 1 this early January.I thought it would be a girl so I was gonna name her Jennalynn Marie.The doctor at a psychiatric ward put shots in me to calm me down one night,after AN HOUR they said"We are sorry .we didnt know you were pregnant..and we killed your kid."I freaked out badly. <BR> <BR> Now I just have a siamese snowshoe cat that will b 2years this friday,the 20th.Her name is Jezabielle Marie.after my a... Wed, 18 Apr 2012 22:40:13 EST When other members of your family get pregnant... So, have any of you out there been experiencing this: you're surrounded by other family members that are getting pregnant when you just lost a pregnancy? One situation was a now sister in-law (my bro and her just got married in Vegas a couple wks ago) got pregnant out of nowhere right around the time I found out I was pregnant. Now, another sister in-law is pregnant. We knew they were trying, but honestly didn't think she could get pregnant, as she is morbidly obese--as is her husband. <BR> ... Thu, 12 Apr 2012 10:18:55 EST supposed to my My Due Date Today was supposed to me My Due Date (I Miscarry last September) :-( I can't help but think what might have been I been TTC for A while now It was My first Pregnancy I feel so lost:-( <em>46</em> Fri, 23 Mar 2012 21:23:11 EST So it's March again... ........ It was March 13 (a friday) 2009 when I fond out that my unborn child (13 weeks) had no heart beat. And now it's March again and I'm so damn sad. I try not to show it because I know those around me either think I should be over it or they just give me that look......I can't deal with that look. I don't even know what that look means but it just rubs me wrong. I think it's sympathy but there is something else with it that just feels wrong. Anyway I just wanted to reach anyone that may be missin... Sat, 10 Mar 2012 21:30:45 EST hello Hello I'm Terry Six months Ago I had A Miscarriage I been TTC for three year's I would have been DUE the 23 of this month <em>46</em> Sun, 4 Mar 2012 02:52:28 EST Hello <long, sorry> I saw this SparkTeam today, and I knew God was telling me to work on my grief. Today has been a very difficult day, so I feel the need to share my story and maybe it'll help the pain today. <BR> <BR> I found out I was pregnant on November 19th. It was the most amazing moment of my life. My husband and I had been trying for almost 1 year to the date. We called my mom and sister, and my husbands sister in pure delight! Everyone was so happy and so excited for us. We decided that we were ... Wed, 11 Jan 2012 15:12:27 EST Needing Advice Hey guys, I am needing help here. <BR> <BR> My friend is due to deliver a baby girl in April. Her baby shower will probably be the end of March. <BR> <BR> I still have a couple things from when I was pregnant with my daughter---that obviously never needed used. They are still brand new and have been protected for years. <BR> <BR> Would it be bad to give them to her? I guess someone should use them. <BR> <BR> One of the items is a cute dressed with autumn colored roses... I figured it woul... Fri, 6 Jan 2012 11:21:27 EST Checking In I have lost 3 last one being in July of 2005. I am slowly adjusting to the idea that odds are, I will never have children. My body is too messed up. Not to mention, from 2005 until 3 months ago, I was OFF birth control. No success. And it's not my mate.I have two friends pregnant right now. One is carrying a little girl. <BR> <BR> I am happy for her, but that's not helping the stress eating at all. <BR> <BR> I guess I just wish I could have at least met my little ones and held t... Thu, 29 Dec 2011 11:34:10 EST Rough Night Last weekend I had a rough night even though it's been 3 years since I lost my angel. I was at a Christmas concert the other night and they ended with Silent Night. I started crying when they got to the part of Sleep in Heavenly Peace. Then after it was over, the director decided that we all needed to sing it again. I lost it. Wed, 21 Dec 2011 16:37:29 EST The good news.... followed by the bad=( Its almost been a year since my husband and i lost our lil twin angels. We have been trying to get pregnant but have had no luck. <BR> <BR> Finally last Thursday we got the good news....we were pregnant. I cant even explain how happy we scared however very happy!!!! <BR> <BR> I went back in on Monday so they could check my HCG was supposed to have doubled every 48 didnt even double once=( They are saying it is most likely going to end in a miscarriage or ... Wed, 21 Dec 2011 15:42:50 EST Been inactive but back Hey guys, I hope everyone is doing well! <BR> <BR> Sighs. I haven't been active in SP lately <BR> and I really have got to change that. I <BR> seem to do a lot better when I have others <BR> to interact with who are also on this journey. <BR> <BR> I am sorry I haven't been here, but that is <BR> changing. <BR> <BR> Celeste Tue, 13 Dec 2011 13:52:37 EST weekly check in week 1 hey ery1.i cnt sleep nemorr cuz i hd 3 nightmares in a missin my fiance n my angel baby Mon, 12 Dec 2011 06:00:01 EST Haunted by things people have said Hi! First, just a little history about my story... I have had 3 baby's which one of was a missed miscarriage (7.5 weeks, but discovered at 12 on the u/s) and the other 2 born so prematurely that they could not survive (4 & 5 months). The third, and one I was able to carry the longest, was born May 19th, 2011. He was born healthy and lived for a week with major medical support, but his organs were just too immature to survive outside of the womb. It seems I have a problem with an incompetent c... Sat, 10 Dec 2011 06:33:52 EST Post-op So I just had my D&C today. I found out Monday that I apparently miscarried even though I had no physical symptoms of it but at my 1st OB appt there was no heartbeat and the baby should have been 8 wks and only grew to 6 wks;( my midwife thought it best to do the D&C just to be safe and prevent possible complications and I agreed that I did not want a long wait trying to get my body to miscarry naturally on its own. <BR> <BR> Needless to say, it's been a long, tough week. Because I had to w... Fri, 9 Dec 2011 18:30:43 EST Not sure why this holiday season... Hello Fellow Angel Mommies, <BR> I am coming to you all bc you all know exactly what I am going through. <BR> BUT first a re-intro <BR> My name is Mary Ann. I am remarried to a guy named Kevin. Between us we have 7 children and 1 grandchild. I have 3 living boys ages 19, 14,and 11. Kevin has 2 children ages 28 and 23. My 2 angels in Heaven were girls. Emily should have been 10 and Jasmine should have been 8! Our grandson is 13 months old. <BR> <BR> <BR> I miscarried Emily Rose on Oc... Sun, 4 Dec 2011 02:43:47 EST Sad today I dunno why but I keep watching TEEN MOM AND 16 N PREGNANT and I just sit and bawl my eyes out.I wish I didnt have tht miscarriage.No one believes me anyways about it.Some do,which is good.R.I.P Jennalynn Marie! Mama loves you very much. <BR> <BR> Im on birth control now,but my bf and I want to have one.But he lives in Missouri Im in Ohio. <em>46</em> <em>170</em> Sat, 26 Nov 2011 20:39:38 EST Holidays are coming=( Hi all! <BR> <BR> So the holidays are right around the corner and im starting to get a little worried. <BR> <BR> We lost are twins last year right after the holidays (Jan 3rd) so with Christmas coming its so sad! <BR> <BR> We have been trying to get pregnant again but have had no sucess. Im not looking forward to Christmas this year <em>39</em> Thu, 17 Nov 2011 15:50:19 EST Hi All=) I'm like everyone else where I'm so sad that there needs to be a forum like this but I'm so glad its here. <BR> <BR> My husband and I got pregnant in August of 2010 after three years of trying. We were ecstatic when we found out on my birthday (8/27) that we were having twins. I had six months of the perfect pregnancy. It was the best 6 months of my life! <BR> <BR> On New years day I felt an off an on pain so we called the doctor who told us to go to the ER right away. We went to the ho... Wed, 16 Nov 2011 09:34:26 EST Acceptance but not I have convinced everyone around me, that I've accepted the MC. I haven't convinced myself yet. I'm a month since I had my D&C. I feel good most of the time, but then at times I feel like crap. My boss is now pregnant, we would have been due the same time, or just around the same time. Yet our outcomes are completely different. Now I have to watch her have the moments I wanted. The bad part is I'm also a week away from the first MC I had before in my life, that I never got over as we... Sun, 13 Nov 2011 15:54:14 EST New Member Hello everyone! <BR> <BR> My name is Celeste. I am 26 years old. <BR> <BR> I have experienced 3 child losses to date, and the odds of me getting to have children, are very small. <BR> <BR> June 10th 2004, I lost Hunter James. It was a termination, however, it was due to a sexual assault. <BR> <BR> October 18th, I miscarried Autumn Rose. She was a missed miscarriage. <BR> <BR> July 9th 2005, I lost Lilith Ariana. <BR> <BR> I have battled pre-cervical cancer before and due to all the fe... Tue, 25 Oct 2011 20:03:14 EST Hello Recently, I Unfortunately lost my baby. I went in to get an ultra sound done and they said there was no heart beat. I cried, a lot. I have always been overweight and I am afraid that is the reason why I lost my baby. But there could be so many things. So I am trying to get healthy and get my body into shape so if my husband and I decide to try again I will have one less thing working against me. I am still grieving for the loss, but I am hopeful for the future. I just need help to keep me mot... Thu, 20 Oct 2011 10:15:47 EST Lost a baby last year Im 19 and i was 1 mnth prego with a little one.I was gonna name it Jennalynn Marie or Cody Blaine.It passed when I figured out I was pregannt and doctorrs put 7 shots in me to calm me down at a hospital.So I call it Jennalynn.RIP JENNALYNN! <em>212</em> <em>123</em> Wed, 19 Oct 2011 11:49:35 EST friend is pregnant Today I found out my girlfriend is pregnant with #3. Her #2 and my angel would have been just weeks apart and would have just celebrated first birthday's this summer. I am so very happy for her, really truly happy but it really just brought so much back to me... <BR> <BR> I do wonderfully for weeks, even months and when I think I'm okay - accepting that my son will be an only child, how blessed I am to have even had him - then "something" like what happened today happens. <BR> <BR> I think ... Thu, 13 Oct 2011 22:28:23 EST Hi I love how the person who started this group put that this is the one group on SparkPeople that wishes it didn't have any members. When I found out our baby wasn't growing, I said that "I felt like I was now a member of a special club that I never wanted to join." <BR> <BR> My name is Amanda, and I just turned 33. When I was 24, I lost my left ovary to a cyst and a benign tumor. I was married to an abusive man at the time, who told me I was now disfunctional. I can't imagine if I had gone th... Tue, 4 Oct 2011 09:11:25 EST Seeking support after the loss of my first son Derick was with us for 3 days, 2 in the hospital, and 1 day at home. he passed away at 8:45pm on April 16th 2011. He was born April 13th 2011 at 3:24am, he was 5lbs and 14oz, 19 1/4 inches long. <BR> <BR> when Derick was born he had a hypo-plastic left heart basically his hearts left ventricle wasn't closing all the way so blood was back-flowing back into his heart making his heart bigger and bigger until the 16th when his heart got so big it crushed his lungs.. also the veins going from th... Sat, 17 Sep 2011 23:21:28 EST Ugh. I don't see many recent posts on here... which is a good thing, honestly. I just really am having a hard time coping, and any one single person I can talk to about this is enough. <BR> <BR> A few days ago, I miscarried. This was the first miscarriage I've had verified by a doctor, however, I think I had a chemical pregnancy last year. I have PCOS, so it's really hard for me to get pregnant in the first place. It is also extremely difficult to carry a pregnancy full-term with PCOS. <B... Thu, 1 Sep 2011 22:37:17 EST Mommy Loves You Both :) (Madison, Age 19) Hello :) <BR> My name is Madison, and I am a 19 year old female. I am a college student, studying radiation therapy. My goal is to some day work with children. <BR> Something has recently happened in my life that makes me want to be the best person I can. I was about 8 weeks pregnant with twins, and I had a miscarriage. God has decided to keep them for a while longer, and I have asked Him to hug and kiss them everyday and tell them their mommy loves them. <BR> One way I am coping wi... Tue, 19 Jul 2011 23:53:48 EST After three miscarri ages.... I finally decided to seek alternative health care. I lost Dekar due to Trisomy 18 and hypoplastic left heart, and then I had three miscarriages in the three years afterward. <BR> <BR> I truly got weary of hearing the same answers over and over: It's my age, my eggs are old, it is to be expected. I know that all those things play a part, but I didn't have peace with doing nothing, and the regular mds offering nothing. I finally went to a naturopath doctor and he did more extensive testing ... Wed, 13 Jul 2011 11:32:35 EST Just wish one person around me would come up and give me a hug, tell me that I'm not a failure or a disappointment to my family. Someone be proud of me instead of being so judgemental towards me when they don't know the pain in my heart. Being told you are a failure growing up and then getting turned down for a job you are qualified for, it tears everything that you believe in down. Is it too much for people to lift you up when you are down? Is it too much for people to stop faking being a badass and act human once in a wh... Thu, 26 May 2011 15:51:17 EST NEW TO GROUP hi there! I am glad to be a part of this group. It does help to have people to talk to. I am 31 years old and had finally gotten pregnant with my first child in March of 2010. I was due December 1, 2010. I was about 8 weeks along when I miscarried. I had been having difficulty ever since getting pregnant, so I was sort of expecting the miscarriage, but I was heart broken and angry when I lost my child. My sister was pregnant at the time, so it was very difficult to watch her go to the appts,... Thu, 26 May 2011 14:03:11 EST My Story I am Samantha, I'm 28 years old married with 4 kids. My daughter that is 6 and a son that is 2 years old, I also have 2 sons in Heaven. I gave birth to Alex at 21 weeks on September 4 2010. I just lost my 4th child, Eliyah on April 30 2010 at 21 weeks 4 days pregnant. Losing my sons Alexander and Eliyah have brought me and my family closer to God and has been very trying on my faith but that will not shake me of it. As of right now we are still waiting on the genetic testing from Eliyah’s blo... Tue, 17 May 2011 15:06:09 EST Struggling with loss.... Hi to all of you. I am new here and wish I wasn't here but I am so looking forward to all of your support. I found out on Monday my HCG levels were not going up and yesterday it was confirmed I had a miscarriage. Today I had a D & C and now I am healing physically anyways. I don't know how to deal with my feelings. I have this great sense of loss and don't know how to get through it. My husband and I have been trying for over a year and were so happy when that test said pregnant. I was afraid... Thu, 24 Mar 2011 18:00:13 EST Checking In I know it's been quiet here lately, so I am just checking in. I truly hope everyone is doing well and I am thinking of you all. <BR> <BR> This past week has been a little rough. Thinking of my precious angels... They never leave my mind, however, some days are harder than others. And its hard when you have pregnant friends... <BR> <BR> If you guys need anything, please let us know! <BR> <BR> Celeste Wed, 26 Jan 2011 12:09:15 EST New Member Intro First of all, I want to thank you for creating this team! <BR> <BR> My name is Celeste. I am 25 and reside in Washington state. I am 194.5 lbs and 5'1. <BR> <BR> A lot of my problems stem from emotional eating due to multiple things. <BR> <BR> I have 3 angel babies. None of them got to see the World. None of them got to be held. <BR> <BR> My first was on June 10th 2004. His name was to be Hunter James. He was not a miscarriage like my other two angels. I had been sexually assaulted and th... Thu, 13 Jan 2011 14:36:19 EST New Co-Leader Hi team, <BR> <BR> I'm Kelzie, and I'm a new SparkTeam Co-Leader for Mommies if Angel Babies. Just wanting you to know that I'm always here if someone needs someone to listen. <BR> <BR> I have had two miscarriages this year and know how hard it can be. <BR> <BR> Kelzie. Sun, 2 Jan 2011 02:38:34 EST Wish I had this team 5yrs ago I was 10 weeks pregnant when I lost my second baby. Few months later got pregnant again everything was fine or so I thought. During ultrasound found out that my baby boy had water in his brain. Abortion was out of the question. Doctor gave him few months to live if that. So my baby boy Ian was delivered by c-section and died before I had a chance to hold him and tell him how much I loved him. <BR> When nurses brought him to me after surgery, I started crying because he was so cold and asked... Thu, 23 Dec 2010 18:40:28 EST New to the team Hello all, I'm afraid I'm new to this team. Not necessarily a team I happy to be joining but I'm glad it's here. I lost my little girl Sage on November 5th, 2010 when I was 31 weeks pregnant. <BR> <BR> It's now been 5 weeks since my delivery so I'm finally allowed to work out again. Well, I was allowed to start working out last week but I had a bad couple of days to ended up putting it off. <BR> <BR> My plan is to start the 30 Day Shred on Sunday to get back into the swing of things. I ... Thu, 9 Dec 2010 22:17:44 EST Sorry but taking a break from the team... Hello all. This team has been so wonderful and helpful to so many women including myself. However I am pregnant again 9 weeks and I find myself panicking over everything I read here. So I am going to take a break from this team. I will not leave the team but not reading the posts either. I hope you can all understand and I am sorry I won't be here to help someone else along with their healing. Sat, 27 Nov 2010 07:35:38 EST New Hey :)! My name is Becka and I am from North Carolina. I am 19 years old and a volunteer firefighter as well as a full time college student at Argosy University [Online]. I’m going for my Bachelors degree in Psychology and in January (I hope) plan to go to school for my EMT-Basic. I am trying to lose 50lbs by next November. I am a mommy to an angel baby. I had a miscarriage in August of 2009 due to a wreck I was in. I have an awesome boyfriend who is supporting me in my weight loss challenge.... Thu, 25 Nov 2010 21:56:57 EST Return Of Period Hi Everyone, <BR> <BR> I'm currently struggling to deal emotionally with the stillbirth of my daughter at 37 weeks and 2 days. The only thing that is offering even the slightest support is hope for the future. I know that I really want another baby and have been given the go ahead to try again in March. <BR> <BR> I know that one of the turning points in my grief when my fist daughter was stillborn last year was when my period returned. <BR> <BR> How long does it usually take for your peri... Mon, 15 Nov 2010 14:27:53 EST Seeking Support After a Second Loss (Full Term) Hi everyone, <BR> <BR> I became a member of this group in April 2009 after the stillbirth of my daughter Vanessa at 20 weeks 2 days. <BR> <BR> I now find my self on here again seeking support and advice after my second devasting loss. On Nov. 4th I delivered my second daughter, Emma, stillborn at 37 weeks 2 days because there was a true knot in her cord. It makes me sick to think how close we came to meeting our healthy, living baby and now I"m home again with empty arms. <BR> <BR> On No... Mon, 15 Nov 2010 14:19:48 EST Hello Team Hi everyone, <BR> <BR> I guess I am on here for the same reasons everyone else is. I had a late miscarriage this year on 25 June 2010. I was 20 weeks pregnant. She was buried on the 14th July 2010, which is a day after my sons birthday. I was and still am very devastated by the whole thing which has really shocked me and my hubby. <BR> <BR> I am not looking for reasons as my Dr's have found nothing wrong with my baby. She was a healthy girl. But I am still grieving and finding it hard ... Sun, 14 Nov 2010 20:28:56 EST Once you decide to try again... Advice needed. History: My husband and I tried to have a baby in 2007. Well after 2 miscarriages back to back I couldn't handle it anymore and we stopped. I took the time to lose weight (I was over 200 lbs then) and I went back to school. <BR> <BR> I'm almost to my goal weight and I graduate college in December. So we've decided it's finally the right time to try again.. BUT I'm soooo nervous and stressed. <BR> <BR> How do you let go of the stress? My OB says that since I've already lost so much ... Mon, 25 Oct 2010 11:29:28 EST What an evil person my sister is! (Misc, & PG ment UGH!!!!!!!!!!!! <BR> <BR> I know I am NOT supposed to hate anyone but right now I am so anry with my sister that it is not funny!!! <BR> <BR> First of all she knows darned good and well that I miscarried 2 times. OK she thinks that she wants to be like me and have the same pain as I have. So she has miscarried once (or so she says...she never took a pg test to confirm a pregnancy). And now that things are not going the way she wants them to in her life, she did it again. She faked ano... Tue, 19 Oct 2010 00:43:09 EST What an Evil Jerk!! I just posted a link to my blog (its about my son and my greif after his death) on my SparkPeople Page and got a comment from MJRVIC2000 that said "We can't remain babies forever...we have to grow up and take responsibility for our lives." <BR> <BR> What he Hell is that supposed to mean? I buried my son barely 2 months ago...I have to take responsiblity?...Like it was my fault that he died? I wish I could get ahold of this guy and beat him with a lead pipe. There is a special place in Hell ... Mon, 18 Oct 2010 13:34:39 EST My update. It's good news! Hello Everyone, <BR> <BR> I has been a long time since I've been on sparkpeople, way too long. It has been nearly 3.5 years since I lost my angel baby and since then I had a beautiful and healthy daughter in Sept 2008 and most recently a handsome little boy in July of this year. They were both born totally healthy and my pregnancies went extremely well. I am so thankful for this group although I wish none of us needed to come here. Hugs to you all and may you be blessed with the desires ... Thu, 14 Oct 2010 04:36:03 EST Hate to post, but need to On September 20 found out I was expectiong #3 and on the 25 and 26 went through the horrible,horrendis moments a mother to be can go through in her life. I lost another angel. My husband does not understand his words were "If it was ment to be, you would not be going through this" I just want to sleep or just keep myself busy with something just not to think of what could I have done better to prevent it, what did I do wrong, and what could have been??? I know people that will say that it is ... Tue, 28 Sep 2010 16:52:02 EST Update from me *warning I talk about a new baby* Hi everybody! It's been a long, long time since I've posted in here, let alone been on Sparkpeople in general. <BR> <BR> I hate that we have new members, but glad that they found our little group (that's really grown since I've last checked in). <BR> <BR> I thought I'd post a little update about me as it is good to hear some happy endings sometimes. I hope anyone who is in a rough place won't be upset by reading my news. <BR> <BR> Since having Liam, I became pregnant again and just gave ... Sun, 26 Sep 2010 10:47:21 EST Trying to cope Hi all, I am just still trying learn how to cope. I had my second miscarriage last week, Thursday. I was 12 1/2 weeks and had just made the decision I was going to tell everyone I was pregnant. I had not yet told many(not even my children) because of fear of miscarriage due to my loss I had at 19 weeks 8 years ago. It has been so hard, my BF is currently deployed so I did not have anyone here to physically hold me as I cried even though we have talked through the net as much as possible ... Fri, 24 Sep 2010 13:18:17 EST What would YOU do? Hi, I lost my daughter years ago. She would have been 16 this past April. BUT I just relived it all over again Tuesday, NOT BY CHOICE. I was out running errands, I stopped by the Bread Store and the two ladies there were talking. They didn't seem to care that there was anyone in the store. They were talking about a Young Girl(I was 20 when I lost Roxanne), one of the ladies had went to visit her, she had found out that the Dr could not find the heartbeat. She was full term. (same as me) Then ... Thu, 16 Sep 2010 09:50:43 EST Hi do not know if I belong Hi I do not know if I belong here or not. During my first pregnancy I had a thing called a disapering twin. It was a devistating time as well as a happy one all at onece. Let me explaine... My husband is not a us citizen and he was detained by imagration after our marriage was approved and we just found out we were expecting our first. Well while he was locked up I was going through a lot of emotions and at one time started realing bleeding. (not know that it was bad I tried to hide it from m... Tue, 14 Sep 2010 10:00:52 EST today is my due date...1 year later Today would have possibly been my baby's 1st birthday. All I can think of is everything that could have been. I imagine what he would look like and what he would be doing if. <BR> <BR> I'm not sure how I am going to get through today without weeping throughout it. I don't know what to do in his honor/memory. <BR> Angel Jude I miss you! Sat, 11 Sep 2010 11:09:50 EST i am new but wanted to share when i joined SP not to long ago this is a area i would not think about searching for on losing our little angels. But today i was going along looking at different things when i ran across a blog by B Horton about losing a angel and something about if you dare to look or listen. Well i clicked on luckly i was by myself but she wrote a song that you can listen to i did and it allowed me to visit and watch my daughter thru the tears. So would recommend a hanky to be close by but i needed to hea... Sun, 5 Sep 2010 12:39:55 EST hello new to the team hello everyone i am not sure what exactly to say but here it goes... I am Julie it has been years back but i did have miscarriage in 1991 followed by a stillbirth in 1992. Battled with depression everything cause i felt i nowhere to turn this is a topic that is not to be talked about among people for the fearing of the hurt that is felt. But i feel i need the hurt for that is the best way sometimes to feel closer to my daughter. I never did try again instead my husband and I went for choosing... Sun, 5 Sep 2010 12:27:56 EST How are you doing? Hello team! <BR> <BR> I am sorry I have been MIA on this team page but wedding season has been busy as well as doing other things like being a National VP of a non-profit, planning a non-profit event as well as being there for a sick friend. <BR> <BR> I wanted to know how everyone is doing...emotionally, physically and spiritually... <BR> <BR> We all have been through a lot...and as many of you know I just recently had a second second trimester miscarriage at almost 20 weeks... <BR> <BR> ... Thu, 2 Sep 2010 16:54:14 EST Hello... Hey team, <BR> <BR> My name is Kelly, I live in Auckland, New Zealand with my hubby and two cats. <BR> <BR> Hubby and I started TTC in June 2008, with a if-it-happens-yay-if-not-we-aren't-really-<BR>trying mentality. <BR> <BR> Found out we were 6 weeks along in January 2010. <BR> <BR> The day after I found out, I had heavy bleeding and went to the radiologist for an ultrasound, Prawn was ok. Ultrasound lady said that I appear to have a bicornuate uterus. <BR> <BR> M/c-ed about 2 days ... Thu, 26 Aug 2010 20:54:50 EST Hello... Hello, <BR> <BR> I am new to this group although I have been a spark member since 2008. At first it was to lose weight for my wedding in 2009. Success! I ended up going from 160 to 140...I was in a size 4 to 2! Then the following Christmas (or right after Christmas) we got pregnant. Our son Aidan was due September 20th however God had other plans. At our 24 week U/S we found out that Aidan had a blockage that had caused kidney failure and this diagnosis was fatal. My son came early at 32 wee... Sun, 22 Aug 2010 21:14:17 EST The depresion I'm almost 8mos out from my ectopic. Baby E's due date came the end of July and I just got worse. I was studying for finals at school and just slogging through it trying to forget. I began binge eating again, then I went back on the antidepressant this last week.I had been off it since discovering the pregnancy since it was not recommended for pregnancy. The panicky feeling is going away and I don't feel like I am barely hanging on with a smile plastered on my face. I still wonder how thing w... Sat, 14 Aug 2010 20:00:45 EST Pregnant after birth control I've been on 'the pill' since my last loss 2 years ago. Now that I am TTC I have of course stopped taking it, but I am wondering how long it'll take me to conceive. I know that everyone is different, my last 3 pregnancies were conceived by accident, now that I am trying I am scared it won't happen. Any tips? Tue, 10 Aug 2010 03:09:09 EST Hi! My name is Amber Hi! I saw this spark people team page and I thought it might do me some good. I had a full-term still born baby girl named mackenzie back in october 14th of 2009. I carried her full term, did everything I was supposed to do but the doctor's in this town and hospital sent me home thinking that it was an UTI with an antibiotic that I shouldn't have been taking that far along in the pregancy. On Tuesday October 14th,2009 my life changed forever. I was rushed into the ER where the nurse started m... Wed, 4 Aug 2010 00:21:49 EST New here... Hi everyone. My name is Nicole. I am not new to Spark People, but new to this team. <BR> <BR> I have had a lot of things going on in my life recently and have lost my motivation. My youngest was in the hospital in June for suspected seizures, was diagnosed with epilepsy after her first EEG. The Neuro wanted to be certain that is was fact epilepsy, so he ordered a second 24hour video EEG. This second EEG came back showing no seizure activity, so he then changed the diagnosis to involuntary ... Fri, 30 Jul 2010 11:46:39 EST Just joined! Having my 4th m/c I am sure from other people who have never lost a baby I would get "Be happy you have 4 children". And I am. I do have 4, living, healthy children from 3 live births (one set of twins). However, it doesnt make the fact that I have lost 4 any better. I have had 3 m/cs since January. I am currently having one right now, and it just stinks. It stinks to not know why I keep losing babies. <BR> <BR> My name is Erika, and I am 25. I would like another baby, and I pray I can have another once I lo... Wed, 21 Jul 2010 13:20:06 EST Another loss here Well, I made it to what looked like seven weeks on the u/s. Today it is confirmed through dropping hcg numbers that I am miscarrying. <BR> <BR> I don't know where I am going to go with this. I am very much struggling with losing two babies after saying good-bye to Dekar. <BR> <BR> I don't want to have another d/c--so I'm hoping all will pass quickly and without complications. Thu, 15 Jul 2010 17:23:40 EST It still hurts so bad... My first (and only so far) loss was back in January. I'm wondering if I didn't grieve properly or something, because now, six months later, I'm crying and hurting as if it just happened a few weeks or days ago. <BR> <BR> In January, we went in for our 20 week ultrasound, so excited to see if the baby was a girl or boy and no heartbeat could be found. I had them check again and even again a day later, just to make sure. I had felt as though something was wrong and I just didn't feel good... Fri, 9 Jul 2010 14:35:10 EST Anyone else expecting? I'm currently 8 weeks pregnant EDD 2/14/11.. and we're super excited, yet a little worried (of course!) we lost our first at just shy of 15 weeks, so i won't feel "in the clear" until the baby is born!! My first doc. appointment is next monday so we are excited/nervous. We never made it to the doctor last time so we don't know what to expect! <BR> <BR> Anyone else expecting after a loss? Tue, 6 Jul 2010 00:41:12 EST Another loss Hello team... <BR> <BR> I know it has been a while...I have been busy...but I have sad news... <BR> <BR> On Friday, I started feeling contractions...thought it was normal cramps but it would come and go and not at regular intervals...I waited a few hours and called the doctor because it kept doing it again...the nurse said just lay down, don't go to work and drink lots of I did... <BR> <BR> Early afternoon, it got stronger and called the doctor and this time I said I need to co... Wed, 30 Jun 2010 19:30:51 EST New loss.... unsure of next step I'm new to this... I've only just begun seeking support. I miscarried my first pregnancy on the morning of June 24th and my emotions are hopping back and forth. Sometimes I feel sad, other times angry and sometimes even apathetic and numb. And then I feel like a monster for feeling that way. And then I try to ignore it happened and I feel even worse. My brother in law didn't waste a single beat to tell me its a good thing it happened and I didn't need kids without a better paying job. How do ... Sat, 26 Jun 2010 23:44:12 EST Pregnant! I wish you were all on FB with me, cuz I'd just send you the note I sent out. I don't want to post it on my sparkpage. <BR> Long story short, I figured since I am 45 and hadn't gotten pregnant in over a year that my quiver was full. But here I am, 5 weeks along now! I'm saying I'm due on Valentine's day until I get the u/s in the middle of July. <BR> I am on Prometrium since my ovaries "are older". heh. Dr and I don't see eye to eye on progesterone, but I'm glad he is working with me a... Tue, 15 Jun 2010 22:57:22 EST due date coming up Hi, my name is Jody. I had a miscarriage 6 months ago. My due date was June 5. I was having a REALLY difficult time dealing with it at the time and was put on zoloft. <BR> That helped, although it still took several months to not cry whenever I saw or thought about anything related to babies. Then my sister had a baby-BEAUTIFUL, but very difficult. She was born 2 months and one day before I was due. Then my cousin had a baby a month later and my husbands neice had one a week ago. I've b... Fri, 4 Jun 2010 19:51:45 EST New here...due date approaching Hi everyone. I am new to sparkpeople and love it here. I was comforted to find this group out here. I lost our first baby on December 30th at 16w2d due to severe cystic hygroma and fetal hydrops. We were devestated. I was doing better, but as my due date approaches, the sadness is coming back. I am also a fan of Real Housewives of New York and realized that Bethany was due about a week earlier than I was and she just had her baby early. It really has caused a set-back. I took my due date off ... Sat, 29 May 2010 20:04:22 EST New to team and this topic My name is LeAnn and we just lost our baby at 17 weeks on Friday. It was a shock as we had an ultrasound at 14 weeks and everything looked great. I am high risk due to an antibody issue but that was ok at that time. This was our third child, first miscarriage. I haven't had much of an appetite and when I do eat it is for comfort. I am wanting to try and get some weight off before I have my 6 week check up and see if we can try again in the near future. The shock has started to disappear but I... Wed, 28 Apr 2010 14:21:39 EST Not sure I'm ready but I'm pregnant again! Well I wasn't really planning on it to happen this month - we were going to wait 2 more months and then start trying but we had decided to stop "not trying" to get pregnant after our miscarriage. It's only been 3 cycles and I think I'm emotionally ready for it but I am soooo nervous. I have only had one miscarriage -should i push my doctor to track my levels and such? I almost don't want to freak out and just take everything as it comes. Any advice would be appreciated! Thu, 22 Apr 2010 16:19:32 EST Fitting quote on loss I found this quote in my dictionary of thoughts while trying to find something that eloquently encompassed my mood. My miscarriage was first diagnosed March 24th at just over 7 weeks, it was my first pregnancy and very desired, so it's still very fresh. <BR> <BR> "We never seem to know what anything means till we have lost it...the wealth of meaning that lies in the fond epithets, parent, child, friend, we never know till they are taken away; till in place of the bright, visible being, come... Sun, 18 Apr 2010 12:24:48 EST Where are you? Where is everyone? :) I miss chatting with you all. Its been a while since I've been here. <BR> <BR> Things are good, I've lost 7lbs since January. YEAH!! I'm very excited, I only have 7-8 left to go. <BR> <BR> Monday would have been my due date for Isabella, our third angel. My actual due date is April 25th but I would have had a section on the 19th, also my hubby's bday. I had a bad week, got my period and have been really emotional. But I'm trying to stay positive and be optimistic. We'... Sat, 17 Apr 2010 16:11:21 EST March For Babies I'm very excited to be a part of March for Babies this year. Connor and I will be <BR> walking 2 miles on April 17. Please help me reach my goal by making a donation to my <BR> walk. It's easy and secure - just click through to make your donation. <BR> <BR> Your gift will fund March of Dimes research and programs that help moms have full-term <BR> pregnancies and babies begin healthy lives. And it will be used to bring comfort and <BR> information to families with a baby in newborn i... Sat, 10 Apr 2010 00:05:49 EST March 2010 challenge! Hello team! <BR> <BR> Sorry this challenge is late but these days the months are just flying by...lot of projects in the works for me and my company... <BR> <BR> So here is the challenge and this will also help me to work out again...have not because of my recent miscarriage but also being really busy... <BR> <BR> How is everyone doing with their eating habits? I want to encourage you to post everyday with at least 3 veggies and 3 fruits you are eating...I know we have done this challenge... Wed, 10 Mar 2010 15:33:10 EST Hi, Im new! Lol I am not too good at these things but... My name is Amanda I am 27 years old & I have 4 living children & 1 beautiful angel baby boy that would be 2 in April. He was still-born April 17th when my due date was May 6th. Dealing with it has been umm, difficult to say the least. It caused issues with my husband & I because of my depression & I felt like I was shying away from my other kids. Well, needless to say, depression for me equaled eating. I am now @ 172 lbs. I started Sparkpeople 2/23 & w... Wed, 10 Mar 2010 14:10:09 EST Losing weight while TTC -a problem with motivation Is anyone else struggling with this? I lost my baby in December and not only did I not lose any of the weight I'd gained, I actually added a few more pounds over the last two months. I've had trouble motivating myself to really lose weight, as I am so hoping to be pregnant again soon. How are you staying motivated to really workout/eat to drop pounds while knowing (desperately hoping) that you are going to be pregnant soon and gain it all back anyway??? Sun, 7 Mar 2010 09:27:32 EST Just found this forum. I unfortunately lost my most recent angel (our 3rd) in January. I need to focus on getting myself healthy so that when my husband returns from his deployment I'm ready to be pregnant again. <BR> <BR> I hate that I'm not focusing on a healthy pregnancy now - and hope I can get my mindset to change. <BR> <BR> Our history: Jun 2006 miscarriage. Jan 2007 miscarriage. Dec 2007 birth of our daughter. Jan 2010 miscarriage. We have not reason as to why we're miscarrying since our insurance woul... Sun, 21 Feb 2010 19:20:35 EST Hi, just found this team I was going through some messages and found this team. Some of your stories have really touched my heart. I am a mother of three beautiful daughters. My youngest is 9, curly strawberry blonde(one of a kind), my middle girl is 14 going on 20, (very strong opinionated ), my oldest daughter(my beautiful angel) would be 16 on April 23, 2010. I was nine months and the doctor decided to turn her(she was breech). Long story short, they sent me home, that night I didn't feel right, BUT I had a follo... Wed, 17 Feb 2010 00:27:30 EST Hello I recently lost my first child. My husband and I had gotten pregnant in November, at 6 weeks we saw a heartbeat in the U/S, which was so wonderful for us. At 10 weeks I started bleeding and a second U/S found no heartbeat. It is truly devestating. This past monday (11weeks), I was admitted into the hospital from severe bleeding (basically hemmoraging), i almost needed a transfusion, thankfully not, but I have been off work for 2 weeks now. THis is a long emotionally and physically painfu... Sat, 13 Feb 2010 10:53:52 EST Hello I recently lost my first child. My husband and I had gotten pregnant in November, at 6 weeks we saw a heartbeat in the U/S, which was so wonderful for us. At 10 weeks I started bleeding and a second U/S found no heartbeat. It is truly devestating. This past monday (11weeks), I was admitted into the hospital from severe bleeding (basically hemmoraging), i almost needed a transfusion, thankfully not, but I have been off work for 2 weeks now. THis is a long emotionally and physically painfu... Sat, 13 Feb 2010 10:53:33 EST February 2010 challenge Hello team! <BR> <BR> I cannot believe that it is already February! <BR> <BR> So how is everyone doing on their New Year goals? Are you still on track? <BR> <BR> How are you doing emotionally? <BR> <BR> Remember we are here to support your through your goals... <BR> <BR> I would like to challenge each of you to post on here and let us know what you are doing to reach your goals! Mon, 8 Feb 2010 13:40:17 EST Waiting? I have been so up and down the last few weeks. I miscarried right before New years and I just got my first period on Jan 28th. It was right on schedule and a normal period. <BR> <BR> My question - the doctor said I should wait two cycles but something in me wants to start trying again right away. I have done some research and their seems to be conflicting views on whether medically its a good idea. One site said the waiting is more for your emotional state of being - which I can say - I gri... Tue, 2 Feb 2010 11:46:20 EST Hi there! Hi. My name is Lindsay. I am so lucky to be a stay at home mom to my three AMAZING children. My husband and I have been married for 7 years and are still so twitterpated!! Life is good... now if only I can get how I feel about my body to match the love I have for my life. Here is to taking the first steps to a happier, healthier, stronger me!! Tue, 26 Jan 2010 22:29:58 EST hello... Hi everyone...I'm hoping to have found a place for some support. My name is Sandy and this is "my story", one that began back in 2000. I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks in 2000, a miscarriage at 7 weeks in 2001, a miscarriage at 8 weeks in 2005...then my son was born in November of 2006 and we thought our nightmare was over. However, in March of 2008, we lost yet another baby, miscarriage number 4 at 8 weeks. After a year and a half of trying to get pregnant, we found out this past fall that we... Wed, 20 Jan 2010 16:25:09 EST Hello, new to the group and spark Hi, my name is Amy. I just joined spark last week and was happy when i found this group b/c I don't have any friends or family members who understand what it's like to lose a child and I feel like I have no one to talk to about it. My husband and I have been married for 8 years now. My first miscarriage was in May 2008 at 12 weeks, then lost our second that December at 20 weeks. B/c i was so much further along during the second pregnancy, it was much harder. I found out at my Dr appointme... Sat, 16 Jan 2010 15:38:06 EST Hi! Hi, My name is Stephanie and while I am not new to SP I am new to this team. <BR> <BR> I experienced my second miscarriage Dec 16, 09 at 7wks. Just over a year before that I had my first miscarriage. You know how I feel, and it's impossible to put into words. I have a beautiful 4yr old daughter and am worried about trying to concieve again, and also anxious to try as soon as possible. My integretion back into SP is a frail effort at retaining some of my physical health. I have gained over 50... Thu, 14 Jan 2010 15:22:44 EST How do I get him off his I'm only 2 1/2 weeks out from surgery and Dh is sitting on his butt not helping me. I had a huge pile of laundry waiting and getting worse in the laundry room.He was keeping up with it while I was in the hospital but once I got home back to thinking I'm super woman. I did get it done and caught back up but at a great cost to me.One room shared by my sons was smelling like Hades and I HAD to DO SOMETHING about it.He had been asked but sat on his ass. Yes I'm hurting and he's just not getting i... Thu, 14 Jan 2010 11:19:24 EST introduce myself Hello, my name is Robbi. My little girl Aryka Elizabeth lived for 45min. She never opened her eyes, but she did squeeze my finger. The doctor's said she was afflicted with Potter's Syndrome. We had a funeral, I tried counseling. Everyone suggested a support group, but I didn't see how sitting around listening to everyone else's grief would possible help me with my own. That was nearly 8 yrs ago. I found a great deal of solace in food. I've come to realize there are a lot of things I need to w... Fri, 8 Jan 2010 16:39:57 EST Fertility Appointment I went to the fertility specialist yesterday. They were going to tell us what our chances of having a healthy pregnancy was. What a long day, I'm sad. The things I did find out: <BR> The last baby I lost was a girl. <BR> My chances of having a healthy baby are about 70% BUT that's not saying I won't miscarriage before that. <BR> They did blood work to check for abdnormalities, they want to do a procedure - fill my uterus up with fluid and take pictures. That way they can tell if there is any... Fri, 8 Jan 2010 10:47:04 EST January 2010 challenge Hello everyone and welcome to the year 2010! <BR> <BR> I hope everyone had a great holiday season and ready for this new year! <BR> <BR> Every year, people make new years resolutions to better themselves... <BR> <BR> What is your resolution health-wise? Be specific because the more specific you are, the better your chances of succeeding! <BR> <BR> Lets also get ready for this summer because it will be here before you know it... <BR> <BR> So I challenge everyone to workout (walking inclu... Wed, 6 Jan 2010 19:56:13 EST Hello I'm not going to go into detail much just that the day after Christmas my 5th pregnancy ended with a ruptured cornucal ectopic.We were surprised by the pregnancy and very happy to welcome the new little one.It was a sad way to end off our holiday with me in the hospital recovering from emergency surgery and our kids who understood what was going on grieving along side us. I am having a hard time with the loss as we have never in the whole 10+ years of making babies lost one. We never suspecte... Tue, 5 Jan 2010 15:33:27 EST i am new here, my story( a lil long) hi i am megan, i am 23 and i found out i was pregnant 09-09-09, two days before my birthday. We had been trying to get pregnant for 4 or 4.5 years so needless to say we were very excited, had a few issues right away, we called our lil baby, little skittle(that what it looked like on the ultrasounds) on 09-18 we got to hear our babys heart beat, but just 2 weeks later on 10-05-09 at 6:28 a.m.i woke up to a gush and i new what happened, i lost the baby at 8 weeks 5 day. i was in so much pain, m... Fri, 1 Jan 2010 20:24:18 EST How are you? When people ask me this I tend to put on a happy face and no matter how I am feeling I just say "fine I'm fine". <BR> Mostly I do this because I just don't think they really either want to know or they won't know how to react to how I really feel. <BR> <BR> So today I want to ask you all here honestly how are you? How are you feeling? <BR> <BR> Please don't feel a need to hold back or sugar coat. <BR> Honestly I'm here and I want to know. <BR> How are you? <BR> <BR> peace, <BR> moonlit Sat, 5 Dec 2009 14:19:26 EST Help DAX for Christmas! For all of those sending Christmas cards to Noah, here's another story that is touching and another little boy in need of christmas cheer! <BR> <BR><BR>orate.dax/index.html Wed, 18 Nov 2009 13:10:47 EST November December challenge! Hello team! <BR> <BR> So it has been a tough few weeks for me and so this is why I am late with this post...have been sick and still am...i learned that i had the h1n1 flu...went on vacation...and just recently came back from a conference. <BR> <BR> So here is the challenge for this month and next month...I am putting them together because of the holidays... <BR> <BR> 1. What is one thing you will be doing to stick with your weight loss goals during Thanksgiving? <BR> <BR> 2. What is on... Sun, 15 Nov 2009 05:39:57 EST Ectopic & loss of fallopian tube I am just curious if anyone else in this group has had an ectopic and has lost a fallopian tube? I lost my left tube in Sept. I am just wondering how long you may have waited to "try" again..and if you've been successful. <BR> <BR> I am hoping to start "trying" again come winter (jan/feb)....but I still have some pain in my lower right incision area, so intimacy is still not close to even entering my mind ;) haha <BR> <BR> Thanks for your help :) <BR> <BR> Tami Wed, 4 Nov 2009 22:23:14 EST Pre-Holiday Meltdowns? Just looking for a bit of hope that I am not totally going first pregnancy ended in July and, for the last month or two, I thought I was doing pretty well (crying less/more enjoyment out of life), but as my husband and I have started trying again and the holidays are quickly approaching I find myself once again having (private) meltdown moments and dreading seeing pregnant family, holiday gatherings, etc. Has anyone else experienced these 'grief relapses'? Wed, 4 Nov 2009 21:29:19 EST to team (sorry kind of long) Hello everyone :) <BR> <BR> I was hoping to find a team like I am happy you guys are out there. <BR> <BR> Here is my story: <BR> My husband & I started to try for a baby last Dec. (2008)and we finally found out we were pregnant on our 2nd anniversary (July 09). We were so excited and in shock too :) hah <BR> A week later I started to spot and then the cramping came. <BR> I'd like to think I am pretty well educated and I have read a lot on pregnancy... plus all of my friends have... Fri, 30 Oct 2009 11:58:41 EST Hope for Tomorrow I just lost my son a month ago today. He was happily kicking around the night before, but when we went in for the planned C-Section, they couldn't find his heartbeat. We had the C-Section, and found that he had two knots in his cord. Sometime in the night he had rotated from a head down to a position accross my stomach and had pulled the knots, cutting off circulation. He was 38 1/2 weeks. <BR> <BR> I'm trying to work through this and embrace a healthy lifestyle, but it has been very hard f... Sat, 24 Oct 2009 12:40:21 EST I did it! and i survived!!!! i went to the gym today for the first time in 3 months (almost drove there, then left (sprained my ankle this morning, and wasn't sure if i should workout or not)) But i got on the bikes first for 22 mins, then elliptical for 25, and did some lower body strengthening... and i'm still alive! Now i have no excuses! i made there 20 mins after i fell down the stairs, AND worked out! i better go ice my ankle! Fri, 23 Oct 2009 12:46:06 EST Hi everyone! I'm new to this team ...sadly :( I'm 29, about 3 months ago i started re-exercising, watching what i ate, even was logging about it everynite. Then, i found out i was pregnant. I was in shock, scared, and a little bummed. Then i started getting excited (about 12 weeks) and super excited at 14 weeks.. even started buying clothes, basinet, etc. I had a m/c at 14 1/2 weeks 10/15/09 yep 2 days ago. I was very upset this being my first pregnancy and my mom's 1st grandchild. But i strongly believe everything happens for a reason a... Sun, 18 Oct 2009 01:45:54 EST Dear Mommy and Daddy I found this poem online. I really like it and I thought I would share it with you. <BR> <BR> Dear Mommy and Daddy, <BR> <BR> I did not die young. <BR> I lived my span of life, <BR> Within your body, <BR> And within your love. <BR> <BR> There are many, <BR> Who have lived long lives, <BR> And who have not been loved as me. <BR> <BR> If you would honor me, <BR> Then speak my name, <BR> And number me among your family. <BR> <BR> If you would honor me. <BR> Than strive to live in love, ... Sat, 10 Oct 2009 23:15:00 EST October challenge! Hello team! <BR> <BR> Somehow October came quickly and is the busiest month for me...4 weddings this I am sorry this is coming late... <BR> <BR> So lets kick it into gear as we get closer to the New Year! <BR> <BR> First I would like to know how your workouts are changing now that it is getting colder... <BR> <BR> Second, how many minutes a day are you working out? Only counting those minutes where you are focusing on working out. <BR> <BR> Have a great month everyone! Don't... Thu, 8 Oct 2009 17:56:24 EST October is... Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month. <BR> <BR> Are you doding anything special to help promote awareness? <BR> <BR> <link> </link> Mon, 5 Oct 2009 11:25:08 EST OT: Mad at OB and hubby!!!! OK I am 16 days post-op and had a check up with my OB yesterday. I am still having alot of pelvic pain. It still hurts to walk long distances or very fast at all. I am still bleeding and cramping. It still hurts to pee upon starting to pee and stopping. And going to the bathroom No 2 is excruciating! <BR> I am still extremely tired and find that I NEED to sleep still! <BR> <BR> OK yesterday when I went to the OB he took a clean urine sample by catheter, drew blood, and gave me a check up. ... Fri, 11 Sep 2009 23:05:19 EST Just having a rough day. I was having an ok day and then bam out of nowhere I start to feel the sadness again. That is how everyday has been for the last almost 7 months. When will I go a whole day with being HAPPY! I start out the day with kissing Alissa good morning and then I kiss Kaylee's urn also. I don't know I feel bad if I don't. <BR> <BR> Anyway everything starts out all good and then the middle of the day my mood just switches into overdrive. I don't know maybe its time to see a dr about this. <BR... Thu, 10 Sep 2009 13:32:15 EST I had a photo touched up<BR>llbirth/1698657-finished-already.html <BR> <BR> If you go to this site you can see the touched up picture and the original. Thu, 10 Sep 2009 11:50:21 EST I am MIA b/c.......... ............. I am MIA b/c when I came back from Ky in June I went into a depressive funk of sorts... <BR> <BR> But then around the end of July or the first of August I finally came out of it! <BR> <BR> Then just August 26th, 2009, I had a hysterectomy. I am still recovering and cannot be sitting for long periods of time. <BR> <BR> The only thng I hate about this is that I have gained about 5 pounds back b/c I cannot excercise at this point and holding down any sort of food with "taste" is out of the q... Thu, 10 Sep 2009 01:49:21 EST How are you helping others through your experience Hello team! <BR> <BR> So after speaking with a few would be great to know how you are helping others who have gone through what you went through with losing your angel baby... <BR> <BR> This will give ideas to other people on what they can do to help others that are hurting... <BR> <BR> A lot of times, you do not hear about people going through pregnancy loss because it is something you do not talk about, but there are many people who go through it... <BR> <BR> I would love to... Tue, 8 Sep 2009 15:27:09 EST Another Angel We lost our 3rd baby this weekend. I'm in the process now, bleeding, abd pain and I'm so very sad. I was 8 weeks but the baby was only measuring at 4. <BR> <BR> :( Mon, 7 Sep 2009 20:07:30 EST Walk to Remember and Kite Fly October 4, 2009 There is a walk to remember on October 4, 2009 at 1:30pm at Lake Park Pavilion in Milwaukee. Wed, 2 Sep 2009 23:05:02 EST Introducing myself... I'm Ashley, 25, from Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. I am an angel mommy to three babies. I lost twin boys to Trisomy 8 in 2005 and a baby girl in April 08 to insufficient uterine lining (I was using birth control). I co-host a recurrent pregnancy loss forum on another board which has helped me recover from my own losses and feel hopeful that I will have a positive outlook on the future. <BR> <BR> I unfortunately have several extra pounds associted with the stress of my losses that I would lov... Wed, 2 Sep 2009 16:37:32 EST Some thoughts So far this week hasn't been as bad as I thought it might be. Of course this emotional stuff can be so unpredictable. <BR> <BR> I have been thinking more about my weight loss journey and the implication that diet and exercise has for pregnancy. <BR> <BR> I recently started to eat the Paleo way. like a caveman. I used to have a lot of pain throughout my body caused by inflamation. It is almost completely gone after being on this diet for about a month. I have lost 10 pounds, normally I l... Wed, 2 Sep 2009 14:47:14 EST Pretty down.... ........ I am pretty down right now. I just had to have a hysterectomy on August 26th. I am having alot of depression right now b/c now I feel less of a woman...Plus it really makes me feel down over my 2 losses. <BR> <BR> And...I have Emily's Angel Day coming up in about a month so this is REALLY hard on me!!!!!!!!!! <BR> <BR> Plus I can't workout like I want to now. And I "look" like I am 6 months pg b/c my stomach is still swollen. <BR> <BR> Love ya, <BR> Mary Ann <BR> <BR> PS: I would love ... Tue, 1 Sep 2009 23:33:58 EST September 2009 challenge! Can you believe it is already September? Time for kids to go back to school...and for some of you that means...some peace and quiet :P <BR> <BR> Here is our challenge for this month... <BR> <BR> 1. With the end of the year in sight...what is your goal from here to the end of the year? <BR> <BR> 2. Lets keep up with our exercises and good eating...3 fruits and 3 veggies you ate today... <BR> <BR> Lets have a geat month everyone! <BR> Tue, 1 Sep 2009 19:18:10 EST Rough I know we aren't a very active group, but I feel like putting my sadness somehwere. My son's due date is this week. Need I say more? Mon, 31 Aug 2009 00:04:19 EST Hey everyone. My story.. Very long, I'm sorry. So, Sometimes I feel really stupid for being as upset as I have been because of how far along I was and especially because it's been over a year. But, I can't help it. <BR> I have a healthy 4 year old little boy that I am thankful for. <BR> <BR> We weren't trying for the 2nd pregnancy but I had always wanted a 2nd baby and was so excited when I found out I was pregnant. I took a home pregnancy test two weeks before April 1st of 2008 (My birthday) and it came back positive, My husband was g... Mon, 24 Aug 2009 22:24:58 EST Trying again.... Hello to all of you. I read a lot of the posts here and my heart goes out to each of you. It is a strong woman that carries on. God Bless you all. <BR> <BR> I am currently working on my weight and my health. My husband and I struggled for two years trying to have a baby. Each time I got pregnant and miscarried, I would gain a little more weight. None of my docs saw it as a problem but we all know that with the depression this topic carries with it, sometimes its hard to make the weight go a... Fri, 14 Aug 2009 17:50:07 EST Our Story On Thursday June 18, 2009 I went to see the doctor for a routine prenatal visit. I was sick with a really bad cold, so I was happy to be seeing the doctor. The doctor came in and asked how I was feeling. I told her I was ok besides feeling sick and getting really bad heartburn. She then took out the Doppler and tried to find the baby’s heartbeat. She didn’t find anything but she said sometimes babies hide really well and she would do an ultrasound to try to find a heartbeat. After waiting a f... Sat, 8 Aug 2009 14:18:06 EST August 2009 challenge!!! Can you believe it is August already? <BR> <BR> Ready for our next challenge? Ready or not here we go! <BR> <BR> 1. Post 3 fruits you eat each day... <BR> 2. Post 3 veggies you eat each day... <BR> 3. Post how many minutes you did each day...lets strive for at least 30 minutes a day! <BR> 4. I had some people ask so I would like to present this to everyone... <BR> <BR> How do you incorporate fruits and veggies into meals? <BR> <BR> Lets make August one that is healthy!!! Mon, 3 Aug 2009 13:02:38 EST Trying Too Hard I lost my daughter beginning of April and even though it has been a very distressing and hard tim I have become so strong and positive but now I am feeling low again because we have been ttc ever since and now it is nearly 4 months, I am still not pregnant. Also my period has been going crazy so I don't know when I am ovulating. I have joined a sister site of SP called BabyFit. Everyone has been so supportive but some of them have suffered with a m/c and then the next month they are pregnant ... Mon, 20 Jul 2009 05:44:25 EST NILMDTS pictures of Maya, my little girl My little girl Maya had her pictures taken by a photographer affiliated with NILMDTS (Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep). If you'd like to see them, check out my blog. There's a link to see my little girl. I hope you do!! Fri, 17 Jul 2009 23:26:06 EST Today my son would be 1 years old. :( I am doing better than I expected. I have broken down and cried many times today. I finally made myself eat something....I just miss him so much. <BR> <BR> To celebrate his birthday, I purchased 6 balloons. 1 from mommy, 1 from daddy, and 4 from grandparents. The balloons were yellow and baby blue. I released the balloons at his gravesite. Some of the balloons popped really fast but it was a sweet birthday thought. I am sure he enjoyed his balloons today :) Fri, 17 Jul 2009 18:01:19 EST Do you ever feel like this? Ever sit back and wonder how did I get here? Can this really be real? <BR> I feel sometimes like I'm having an emotional flashback. Like for a moment I forget about my loss then it hits me and I feel like I did that day and once again I just can't believe this is happening to me. Mon, 13 Jul 2009 21:57:30 EST Freefromfood I was just reading the other thread and you mentioned you have hypothyroid. Do you have Hashimoto's? I know that an auto-immune disorder can cause a type of blodd clotting disorder, which would be why he told you to tak ehte aspirin. Maybe you tested positive for that disorder and he ASSumed you hva elupus or RA because they are usually the culprits for teh clotting disorder, which is called antiphospholipid. I am going to have my doctor test me for it because it is possible that my loss ... Mon, 13 Jul 2009 08:02:38 EST Here we go again... So yesterday I went into the emergency room because I was having pain and bleeding...I bled on Sunday but it went away so did not do anything...but after my seminar yesterday I went to the hospital because I started bleeding again and had pain...more than after a couple of hours, they found a cervical 4th one...a little bummed today because it keeps looking like it will take longer for me to get pregnant...especially also found out today that our cobra did not go throug... Thu, 9 Jul 2009 17:00:21 EST Need a shoulder please I took my kids to an event at the library today and there just seemed to be babies everywhere. I couldn't even look at them. I used to love admiring how beautiful and innocent they are and now I can't even look at them. My sister was there with one of my neices who is 4 days younger than my 2nd. They were playing together and it just made me incredibly sad. She had her second baby just 3 weeks before Maya was born. I just kept thinking that Maya should be here to play with her cousin ju... Tue, 7 Jul 2009 16:20:30 EST lost first baby, getting healthy for #2 Hello all! <BR> I just started SP today when I overheard a coworker talking about it. I looked around at this site I was mighty impressed! <BR> Anyway, I also started getting in some exercise (my hubby said I should and I'll be honest, I am more willing to do things for other people than for myself). <BR> My main goal is to get healthier and maintain a healthier lifestyle as we prepare to try for another baby. <BR> Unfortunately, we lost our first pregnancy when I was 5 months along, it was t... Mon, 6 Jul 2009 18:55:15 EST Do you 'hang out;' anywhere else? I also post in the thyroid disorders and Air Force sparkteams. <BR> <BR> So where else do you spend your spark time? Thu, 2 Jul 2009 10:51:47 EST July 2009 challenge! Hello team! <BR> <BR> So summer is in full swing and I cannot believe it is July ready for a new challenge? <BR> <BR> There are going to be 3 parts to this challenge... <BR> <BR> 1. Looking back to January of this year, how have you been doing? This can be emotionally, weight loss, about family, etc...we want everyone to participate! <BR> <BR> 2. Because everyone has been doing great with this...I want to know what fruits and veggies you are eating every day...lets aim fo... Tue, 30 Jun 2009 11:55:22 EST An Anniversary We all have them, don't we? That's why, unfortunately, we're members of this team. <BR> <BR> I remember. I was there, and one year ago today, there was a heartbeat. Little did I know what was in store for our family. A week and a half later, you were gone. Instead of a baby, according to the doctor, you were then "pregnancy tissue." But I knew different. I saw you. I saw you alive at one time. You were not some inanimate object to be disposed of, you were my baby. <BR> <BR> You w... Sun, 28 Jun 2009 07:21:09 EST I'm sad.. I've been feeling sad the last few days. Wanting to cry at nothing, I don't know what is going on. Pms probably. I find myself sad because I'm not pregnant. Although it has only been 3 months since we started trying again I feel impatient. I want so badly to be pregnant again. I"m sad. <BR> <BR> Today I had my yearly pap exam, it was hard because I hadn't had anyone mess with that area since my last miscarriage. 9 months is long but its not. So the doctor found a cyst on my cervix. She sai... Fri, 19 Jun 2009 19:40:17 EST High Risk Appointment with the Perinatologist I met with the specialist last week to discuss future pregnancies since I just recently lost my daughter on April 5th at 21 weeks due to severe preeclampsia. He wasn't as hopeful as I would like but it wasn't too bad. The worst thing that he said was that he has never seen anyone with as severe a case of preeclampsia as I had and with as early an onset. Coming from a specialist this kind of freaks me out. <BR> <BR> He also raised the risk of getting preeclampsia again to 30% instead of 20... Fri, 19 Jun 2009 11:35:49 EST Hello ... I was so happy to find this team. We recently experienced a miscarriage. Found out at the 10 wk check that there was no heartbeat and the baby had stopped growing at 8 weeks. I have a healthy 2 year old son, and I guess I had just assumed this past pregnancy would go as well as the first. It seems so arrogant now. <BR> <BR> I wasn't in the tip-top shape that I would have liked, so I'm using Sparkpeople as a way to make productive use of the coming months. Hopefully there will be anoth... Fri, 19 Jun 2009 09:10:33 EST Hi It was March 13th 2009 when I found out that my unborn baby did not have a heartbeat. 3 months ago. It feels so long ago and yet just like yesterday. <BR> I am having more good days now but my heart aches like it just happened. I think everyone around be has forgotten or just pushed it from their minds. Once again I feel so alone in my pain. <BR> Every ounce of my soul aches for my baby. I try to be strong and not show how I feel but I think I am being disrespectful to my baby in doing this.... Fri, 12 Jun 2009 22:27:01 EST HERE WE GO AGAIN I am gutted. <BR> It took us 6 months to get preg again after my miscarriage last October. Now I am about 8 weeks along and i started bleeding yesterday. <BR> <BR> Its been a really rough time for me this secnod month of the pregnancy I had bronchitis, tonsilitis, fell and put my back out, can't walk on my left foot...and just when I said to DH that it couldn't get worse, now this. <BR> <BR> What can have changed though? I had 4 kids no prob, now babies 5 and 6 are lost? I didn'... Fri, 12 Jun 2009 20:24:11 EST Handling the Ups and Downs Hey everyone, <BR> <BR> It's me again. I"m stressed out again and am looking for advice and support from the best place I know (people who understand exacatly what i have been through). <BR> <BR> It's been about 10 weeks since my daughter Vanessa was stillborn. Some days I really start to feel my old self shining through, then others I feel like crying. I find the hardest days when I find out that other friends are now expecting. I found out that three of my other close friends are now... Fri, 12 Jun 2009 15:31:45 EST Hi to All! Hi everyone, <BR> <BR> I have just been shown this sight by my best friend but never in a million years would I have imagined to find a team for mommies of angels. Cause that is exactly what I am. I lost my little girl, Delilah, on March 6. She was 17 days old. She was born 3 months early and then developed some kind of infection that we chose to let her go. <BR> <BR> I finally started coming out of my coma about the end of April and I made June 1st the day that I was going to st... Thu, 4 Jun 2009 15:16:43 EST June 2009 team challenge!!! Hello team! <BR> <BR> Can you believe it is already June? Summer is just around the for this month's challenge... <BR> <BR> 1. Reflect back to when you made your New Year's resolution...have you kept your resolution? <BR> <BR> 2. Please post what you are doing every day to stay can be anything! Now that it is getting warmer...tell us what you are doing outdoors as well as indoors to stay in shape...this also does include grocery shopping :) <BR> <BR> Have a gre... Mon, 1 Jun 2009 15:42:08 EST Maya, my angel I had a totally normal pregnancy....and then May 4th I had a doctors appointment and my blood pressure was sky high (I have a health condition that keeps my blood pressure really low) and there was protein in my urine and the doctor thought my ankles looked swollen. He told me to come back the next day and we would check my blood pressure and if it was still high I would be induced. I was nervous but EXCITED. I was 38 weeks pregnant. So the next day I went and my blood pressure was still ... Fri, 29 May 2009 20:05:15 EST New here... Sad to say that I joined this group. I'm sure you all feel this way. <BR> <BR> My Story... <BR> <BR> I got pregnant for the second time last year and I think I was the happiest that I have ever been. My husband and I told Alissa(our 3 year old) right away. What could the harm be right? Wrong! <BR> <BR> My husband, Alissa and I all strolled into the hospital on January 30th for my routine 20 week ultrasound. We were so excited to find out the sex of the baby. I was secretly hoping ... Wed, 27 May 2009 12:32:00 EST Picking up the pieces... This has to be the worst time of my life. God must have other plans for me right now because my Little One didn't make it. Yesterday morning I started spotting and by 1pm I started having cramps. They continually got worse so at 4pm I went to the ER. By 6pm I knew I had lost my baby, I started bleeding and having major cramps. An ultrasound confirmed that my LO stopped developing 2weeks ago. I miscarried my LO at 9 1/2 wks. I know this kind of thing can happen, but I never imagined that it wo... Fri, 22 May 2009 14:03:14 EST Death Looks Different To Us. "Death looks different to someone who has put their child in the ground" - Elizabeth Edwards <BR> <BR> I was watching her interview on Oprah and this came up because she lost her son in a car accident. I agree with her, what about you? She said it has made her less afraid of death and something else I forgot sorry :( I am not trying to have a morbid convo but I really found this interesting and I can really relate. After losing my daughter in the NICU and my son being stillborn I know what s... Thu, 14 May 2009 00:34:07 EST My story Back in July of 2008 I suffered my first miscarriage. It was a missed miscarriage, and I had a D&C on July 2 (the day before my anniversary). It was difficult, but I was able to accept that it was part of the plan for my life. We learned that I was pregnant again in October or November. I was ecstatic. Unfortunately, In mid-December when I went in for my first u/s there was no heartbeat, and the baby had stopped growing several weeks earlier. Since it had been several weeks and nothin... Tue, 12 May 2009 11:58:50 EST I Am Still a Mommy Poem For all the mommies of angels - this is a poem I found when I lost my son, Avery Jace. I printed it an hung it in a frame in his bedroom. I also read it at the memorial we had for him at our house by his garden. <BR> <BR> Much Love, <BR> Adrienne <BR> <BR> <BR> <BR> I Am Still a Mommy <BR> by Dawn Machado <BR> <BR> I am still a Mommy, I was a Mommy from the start. <BR> What makes me a Mommy is that feeling in my heart. <BR> Pregnant I was, there was a baby inside me. <BR> For some Momm... Sun, 10 May 2009 18:49:36 EST Baby News! Well my son decided to make an entrance into the world 8 weeks early. I was due on June 29 and he made his debut on May 2 (just in time for Mother's Day). <BR> <BR> Connor Robert Bourassa <BR> May 2, 2009 <BR> 3 lbs, 8 ozs <BR> 16 1/2 inches long <BR> <BR> They had to take him early because I was having severe pre-eclampsia. I was so swollen that in 1 week I had gained 14 pounds and it was all water weight (you'll be happy to hear that a week after having him, I was down to almost my pre-... Sun, 10 May 2009 13:26:19 EST Dear Mr. Hallmark (mother's poem) Dear Mr. Hallmark, <BR> <BR> I am writing to you from heaven, <BR> and though it must appear <BR> <BR> A rather strange idea, <BR> I see everything from here. <BR> <BR> I just popped in to visit, <BR> your stores to find a card <BR> <BR> A card of love for my mother, <BR> as this day for her is hard. <BR> <BR> There must be some mistake I thought, <BR> every card you could imagine <BR> <BR> Except I could not find a card, <BR> from a child who lives in heaven. <BR> <BR> She is still a ... Sat, 9 May 2009 19:38:24 EST Having a hard time - :( I've been doing ok but today my SIL is having her baby. (Her and her husband are the ones who told us they were pregnant 4 days after we lost our boy). I have met all the speed bumps (our due date etc) with sadness and pain but I've done it. But today knowing that they are having their baby is like a punch to the gut. I am just at odds. It is not fair. I'm upset because obvisouly they are getting what we want, but also because I assocaite this with them telling us the week we lost our baby. I... Fri, 8 May 2009 11:13:20 EST Mother's Day Advice Hi everyone, <BR> <BR> I feel totally lost right now and I thought this would be the best place to turn. My daughter was stillborn on April 5th. I"m still emotionally and physically recovering so this is going to be a really tough first Mother's day. I was starting to feel a little less sad over the last few weeks, but with Mother's day fast approaching I feel as If I am constantly being reminded of my loss. <BR> <BR> How did you cope with your first Mother's Day after your loss. I do... Thu, 7 May 2009 14:33:51 EST May 2009 team challenge!!! Hello teammates! <BR> <BR> So it is May and we are getting closer to summer! <BR> <BR> So for our team challenge and maybe to get each other motivated...we want to know... <BR> <BR> What are you eating today to stay healthy and get fit for the summer? <BR> <BR> Also lets keep tracking our fitness minutes... <BR> <BR> I want each of you to post everything you are eating that is healthy! <BR> <BR> We should also keep posting how much we are working out... <BR> Lets keep it up so we can ... Fri, 1 May 2009 15:34:15 EST Recent loss.. My name is Megan and I just miscarried this weekend. I am actually still in the process. I just feel so terrible and I am still in disbelief. I feel like I will never enjoy a pregnancy again. I loved being pregnant and have had two beautiful babies, but now I feel like the joy will be taken from. I pray that when I do get pregnant again that I will find the beauty and joy in it instead of fear. Sun, 19 Apr 2009 19:51:24 EST 4-6 weeks after I had a miscarriage at the end of Feb, at 11 weeks and 5 days. I was devastated, but honestly not shocked when I found out - I had a feeling. On March 2 my doctor confirmed that my cervix was closed and my miscarriage complete. She instructed me to wait through two periods before trying again, just to be sure that my uterus was fully healthy again before getting pregnant. Well, it's April 8 now and I still have not had a period - it's been 37 days! I am getting pretty anxious... I was ho... Wed, 8 Apr 2009 13:38:24 EST Friends having babies around my due date I lost my baby in September of 2008 so it's been about 7 months now. And when I was pregnant 2 of my friends found out as well, well they had their babies in the past week I was ok with the first one but when the second came I just lost it crying all the time I even got sent home from work. My fiance tells me its been 7 months aren't you over it yet? Probably doesn't help that my one friend told me that she can no longer be my friend because I wasn't their through her pregnancy that hurts so ... Tue, 31 Mar 2009 16:48:30 EST Hello Hello. I'm new to Sparkpeople. I had a stillbirth back in September of 2003. It was a hard year but we had a lot of support and love. We adopted a beautiful lovely ball of fire in 2007 and are going to adopt again this year. Just wanted to say hi and big hugs to everyone. Sat, 28 Mar 2009 18:05:25 EST new girl hi all,im christina.married,we have a son who is 18 i cant even believe this team exists! this is a really good team to join if u have lost a baby in anyway.i had a miscarriage the first time i got took me a while to get pregnant,and when i lost it..i was completely was as if my entire world had been turned upside down.and my soul was broken.i ended up getting pregnant again,and when i found out,the doctor told me i must have got pregnant just 2 days after my... Fri, 27 Mar 2009 22:36:54 EST Baby Shower Invitation Update I just want to follow-up with my last post about the baby shower invitation. I decided not to go, but told the host my reason why and that I would still be sending a gift with my mother-in law and sister-in-law. I really listened to what everyone who posted said and agree with you all 100%. I feel like I am not ready for that type of event yet and feel that I shouldn't force myself to be the "fake strong one". I'm tired of putting on an act just to make someone else happy, this time, its abou... Thu, 26 Mar 2009 18:45:10 EST Muddling through The last couple weeks have been difficult. February 23 was Chaya's due date. March 17 was the 2nd Gloryversary of Olivia Rose. <BR> <BR> March 27 will be the 4th Gloryversary of Connor Thomas. And April will be the 1st Gloryversary of Zachary Joseph, who was miscarried one month before I got pregnant with Chaya. <BR> <BR> I think if I didn't have my two boys I'd be a complete wreck right now. Four Glory's in two months. <BR> <BR> Other than that, I'm doing ok. I pulled my boys out of scho... Fri, 20 Mar 2009 02:06:27 EST Expecting in November After doing many tests and getting my hcg levels checked, I am happy to announce I am pregnant and due mid-November. After having had it all and losing it all I know that anything can happen, but I am ecstatic. I know this will be a very different pregnancy for me. <BR> <BR> After losing Dekar I didn't lose much weight. I tried for a while, but then didn't really care. Going through major mourning in the middle of winter doesn't help either. I will be more active on the BabyFit board a... Mon, 16 Mar 2009 08:57:13 EST 29 today and sad... Hello ladies... <BR> <BR> I just wanted to share something... <BR> <BR> I am 29 today...yes I was born on the Ides of March for those of you who remember social studies in elementary school... <BR> <BR> I am sad on my birthday because I should be celebrating with our son...and am missing our angel very much. <BR> <BR> I have been married for 5 years and half dated my husband since July of 1998 and have known him since 1994...but feel something missing... <BR> <BR> We hope to get pregnant... Sun, 15 Mar 2009 02:11:36 EST High Risk Appointment Result After two long months of waiting for our new high risk OB to give us SOMETHING. She called us on Thursday and gave us great news. There is nothing wrong with my uterus or me and our angel was healthy as well. Our new OB said that we could try again anytime. She also said that I had so many complications because I was so far along. There is no indication that it will happen again, and most likely we will have a healthy pregnancy. <BR> <BR> So when she told me this it was like my whole body li... Sat, 14 Mar 2009 20:36:47 EST Baby Shower Invitation (Sad Day) Side Note: I lost my twin boys at 16 and 18 weeks gestation on Thanksgiving Day 08... <BR> <BR> Just needed to vent... <BR> When I got home from work yesterday, I got a baby shower invitation in the mail, and just broke down. It turns out that my husbands cousin is having a baby boy. The sad thing is, we have seen them a few times and they never mentioned that they were expecting. I know people are probally going to say, "they didn't want to tell you because they were afraid they would upset... Wed, 11 Mar 2009 09:23:24 EST Another Hurdle I made it through. On February 23rd I would have had a c-section and deliver our boy. Obviously that didn't happen. That day was extremely hard, I cried a lot. <BR> March 4th was our actual due date, we released balloons for him, one red heart balloon and one happy face. The heart went all the way up, the smiley face got stuck in a tree. The cold air must have taken some of the helium out and it didn't make it far. But we had ice cream that night too and I just remembered. I thanked God for ... Mon, 9 Mar 2009 20:46:38 EST Waiting (sorry, it's a bit long!) I don't really need any advice, I just need to "talk". My husband and I lost our first baby 2 days before my 2nd trimester this past December. Since then I have been through a whirlwind of emotions and have finally reached a point where I'm ok "most of the time". <BR> I can deal with the loss. I can deal with the pain and the hurt and all that. . . <BR> What I'm having trouble dealing with, day after day after day, is this aching desire to get pregnant again! <BR> Some days it seems to consu... Sat, 7 Mar 2009 16:30:11 EST Introduction... Hi everyone :) I'm just going to post a little intro and hopefully meet some of you! I've been a member of Sparkpeople since September but haven't really used it until now. I'm a member of Weight Watchers online so I mainly do my exercise and eating tracking there, so I probably won't do too much of it here (it takes too long!) but I am interested in the SparkTeams and the profiles! <BR> <BR> I'm 26 years old and my first miscarriage was 9 years ago when I was 17 and way too young and immatu... Sat, 7 Mar 2009 00:22:19 EST March team challenge! Hi team! <BR> <BR> It is already March and time is flying by! <BR> <BR> For this team challenge, we want to know how many fruits and vegetables you eat each day. You do not have to post every day but if you can put what dates you ate what that would be great! <BR> <BR> We want to encourage each other to eat plenty of fruits and if you eat a salad, put each individual fruit and/or vegetable you ate! <BR> <BR> We can all be very healthy! Thu, 5 Mar 2009 11:58:20 EST My friend My best friend had her second baby this morning. I am so happy for her but at the same time it hurts so much with the loss of my twins so fresh. She had a miscarriage before her first baby so she knows what it feels like, and she is very supportive of me. But it's still hard to see the new baby pictures and know that I want that for myself so much. So I get her pictures and a call from her telling me about the new baby and 10 minutes later my doctor calls to tell me that the testing on my twi... Fri, 27 Feb 2009 10:56:42 EST Due date My due date was March 4th but because I have csections, mine woud have been planned for this past monday. This week is so hard, I thought it would be hard on my actually due date but this week has been brutal. I cry and cry. I feel better and then I think about having him this week. I had a dream on Sunday night that I had him and he had really dark hair and was smaller than my other kids at birth. I don't know what the dream means but I'm just having a hard time. <BR> On our actually due da... Wed, 25 Feb 2009 21:25:16 EST Oh it's been a very rough road It's been a while since I've been in here. I've just been so depressed after losing Chaya (for the newbies who don't know, I gave birth to my sleeping daughter at 25 weeks gestation in November). Yesterday (23rd) was her due date. I spent the majority of the day in bed. <BR> <BR> I created a memorial slide show for her. If you're interested in viewing, it can be found at <BR> <BR> <BR> I also made a Memorial Page for her, if anyone is interested. There are pictures... Wed, 25 Feb 2009 00:47:04 EST How is everyone doing? I'm going to be 18 weeks in two days. I got for my detailed ultrasound tomorrow, which scares me since thats when we learned all sorts of bad news last time. It was basically the beginning of the downhill slope we went down :\ So i'm hoping for good news. <BR> <BR> Where are all you in your pregnancies and how are things going? Mon, 23 Feb 2009 15:29:54 EST A newbie . . to this group and to miscarriages hi there. . . My name is Courtney. I'm a 24yr old new wife and would have been giving birth to our first baby this June. I suffered a miscarriage 2 days before my 2nd trimester - just in time for Christmas, and if I'm honest, sometimes I just don't know if I'll ever be ok. And I'm a little tired of people telling me I'll be ok - and then forgetting and going on with their own lives because it doesn't effect THEM. (ok, sometimes I'm a bit bitter too. . . ) <BR> <BR> I'm trying to move on with... Fri, 20 Feb 2009 11:07:15 EST I never get over here :\ I don't know <BR> <BR> Well I know i'm still sort of a newbie over here but here's my update. I'm 17 weeks preggers. I'm currently in the middle of my baby girl's 1 year anniversary. Since she live for two weeks. And thus far getting through it hasn't been too bad. And the pregnancy has been going alright. I've been on bedrest since 13 weeks and will con't until 35ish weeks. <BR> <BR> How are you guys? Wed, 18 Feb 2009 11:26:38 EST MIA again... sorry... I am sorry I haven't been more active in the group for the last coup;le of weeks but we have been going through some severe family problems here... <BR> <BR> I am not sure if I was in this group last November when I posted that someone had come into our house and taken the kids PS2 and about 50.00 in cash out of our rainy day fund...(I bought the boys a new one for Christmas with my child support money...) <BR> <BR> But with that said...On Friday the 13th, my hubby and I went out to eat f... Wed, 18 Feb 2009 02:15:20 EST March for Babies Hello all, <BR> <BR> I will be joining the March for Babies walk on April 25...will you join me by either sponsoring me or walking with me? <BR> <BR><BR>an <BR> <BR> Thank you! <BR> <BR> Catharine Wed, 11 Feb 2009 15:53:58 EST Getting over everything.. Hello everyone, I'm new to the group.. I found out last Wed that my baby had no heartbeat.. I had my DNC on monday and thought I'd be ready to go back to work today.. <BR> <BR> So i went back to work and brokedown at my desk.. I'm expected to be back tomorrow and I am again going to try but this is all jus soo much.. <BR> <BR> When i sit around the house i feel like I'm getting better but as soo as I leave the house all the emotions come rushing back.. <BR> <BR> Any suggestions? Wed, 4 Feb 2009 14:31:02 EST Miscarriage and beginning again. In June 08, I had a miscarriage. I didn't realize I was pregnant until I started bleeding really badly and went to the hospital. They said that it looked like I was pregnant, about 5 weeks, and was experiencing a miscarriage. <BR> <BR> In July 08, I decided to loss weight. By November I was 50 pounds lighter. <BR> <BR> At the end of November, my husband and I found out that we were pregnant and due in August. We were so excited. We named her Kida Marie Shaffer. I know it is weird but i kne... Thu, 29 Jan 2009 20:04:51 EST Tips for getting through your due date? Any suggestions? Cause right now I'm starting to make poor food choices to cope. I need to get over the hump of the next week and a half and I'm spending the majority of the day on the verge of tears. Tell me this is the last hurdle to get over. Wed, 28 Jan 2009 21:05:45 EST I think so... Hi guys, I'm kinda feeling weird right now. I think I'm pregnant again.... I have no other thoughts other than that I feel almost the same way I did when I turned out pregnant the last time (only more nautious). A friend of mine will be dropping off an EPT test to me later today (it's snowing and icy, and she's going to walk it up) so for now I'm just trying to relax and keep an calm mind.... but it is going a thousand places at once. any ideas for keeping it zen? Wed, 28 Jan 2009 09:15:01 EST Hi Everyone! I am new to this site and came across this team and decide to join. I have 2 angels in heaven that were born premature and gave a good fight,but lost. Sorry can't really talk about them yet. I am just glad I found support if and when I decide to talk about my girls at least I know their our people out there who know what I am going through. Tue, 27 Jan 2009 00:07:26 EST First Anniversary... Friday was the anniversary of losing our first baby. January 23rd we found out that we had lost our baby at 10 weeks and I didn't have surgery until February 1st. I'm sad but I'm also grateful for the children I have. <BR> <BR> I plan on releasing balloons on February 1st to mark the day and remember our first lost angel. My therapist told me it would be healing and allow closure. People think I'm nuts. <BR> <BR> The same day I found out that my husbands cousin who has two children is alm... Sun, 25 Jan 2009 18:00:16 EST new to the team Hello, I'm new to the team. I was here on SparkPeople a long time ago, but didn't know this team was here back then. <BR> I quit smoking almost three months ago & have gained about 30 pounds, so I'm back. <BR> <BR> I miscarried at 4 1/2 months about five years ago (on my husbands birthday no less.) A long time ago, I know. I've been to therapy and feel like I've finally been able to move past it I guess - I'm not angry anymore at least. But it's hard not to think about it still. Even harder... Wed, 21 Jan 2009 22:17:45 EST I'm looking for hope... I guess what I'm looking for is a little hope. <BR> I miscarried about five years ago. It was beyond traumatic for me. I had over a year of therapy to help me get past it. <BR> Now, I was no spring chicken before it happened, but the year following that, I gained about 90 pounds. All I did was sleep and eat, obviously. That's why I'm here now, to get myself to a healthier weight. <BR> I do not have regular periods, I never have, they've always kinda been few & far between. But soon, my husb... Wed, 21 Jan 2009 22:11:43 EST sadly joining i've been around the boards a while. i lost 55lb from my last preganacy here, i got busy, slipped up, gained some back, didn't log on like i should have. <BR> anyway, 2 days before i graduated college last december i got a bfp after tc for 8 months. it was to be our 4th child, not our second loss. <BR> A week ago I was told my baby had no heartbeat, the betas still rose, we hoped for too long, the numbers stopped rising. I would have been 9 weeks this tuesday, instead of schedualing my first... Sun, 18 Jan 2009 15:10:39 EST Miscarried twins . . . Hi, I am new to the team and thought I should intro myself. I have two children, but decided to try for a third. In Nov '08 I found out I was pregnant with twins. At my 11 week check up, we found out that the babies had died at 8 weeks, 3 days. A specialist informed us that they were monochorionic identical twins, and he also suspected that they had TTTS. I had no signs of miscarriage, and so I had surgery on Xmas Eve '08. Needless to say, the holidays were awful. I am still wrestling with ... Fri, 16 Jan 2009 16:07:48 EST What to read? I am an avid reader. When I was pregnant I read everything I could get my hands on about pregnancy and labor. Now, I would like to know what books other bereaved parents have read that are helpful or comforting. Any suggestions? Wed, 14 Jan 2009 12:36:06 EST Hello My name is Brianne, I'm 25 years old. I had my first baby on 07/13/08. She was 15 weeks premature and passed away on 07/23/08. I am having a lot of trouble coping with her loss. Mon, 12 Jan 2009 12:41:21 EST Who's Pregnant I was just curious at who's all currently pregnant on this group? <BR> <BR> I'm over 11 weeks, quickly approaching my 2nd trimester :) Sun, 11 Jan 2009 15:46:12 EST High risk consult Monday Hi All, <BR> I just wanted to thank everyone for all their fantastic support. Finding this website was a blessing!! <BR> <BR> Here is my update: I have my high risk preconceptual consult on Monday. Finally it is here. I've waited a few months and am nervous. We are going to get a 2nd opinion because my OB isn't what I want in a dr. So in gathering all of my information for this new app. I have found out many things. I had to call my OB and get all my records, I also needed to call medical r... Fri, 9 Jan 2009 14:03:10 EST You Are Loved! A very good friend sent this to me over email. I just thought I would send it along! :) Have a great weekend!! <BR> <BR> <BR> God doesn't give you the people you want, He gives you the people you NEED - To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be. <BR> <BR> Dear God: <BR> <BR> The lady reading this is beautiful, classy and strong, and I love her. Help her live her life to the fullest. Please promote her and cause her to ... Fri, 9 Jan 2009 13:50:33 EST newbie Hi im vanessa, i have had 2 mc and my daughter was born sleeping 5th feb 2007. Fri, 9 Jan 2009 13:06:39 EST BFP I don't get around to too many of my other spark teams, I should :) I was here forever ago talking about the baby I lost a year ago in February. DH and I after months of trying finally got our BFP right around Thanksgiving. I'm now 11 weeks preggers (tomorrow). <BR> <BR> I'm scared, I worry over every little pain and twinge. I'm hoping this one goes better, but I still have reservations about jumping in and buying more baby things, etc.... Tue, 6 Jan 2009 19:55:15 EST Leader not active Hi everyone... I just discovered that new members may get a message that the team leader is not active when they join. <BR> <BR> I want everyone to know that I do read this group often, I just don't always post. I am so glad I started this group. I can see how many people have been helped, even in a very small way. I am so glad to see you all encouraging each other and passing on virtual hugs to all who need them. <BR> <BR> That being said, if anyone does want to have a more active role ... Mon, 5 Jan 2009 23:01:56 EST Prayer Request Hello... Sorry I haven't posted much on here... My stillbirth was over 12 years ago, and I have 2 healthy children now! I don't need the support that I once did, however, I know there is power in numbers, and I watch the post topics so that I may be able to help someone else... If ever you need someone to talk to, just send me a spark message! <BR> <BR> However, my post today has little to do with me. I have a friend, Stephanie, that had an ultrasound last week and they did not find a ... Mon, 5 Jan 2009 08:57:44 EST scared to try again Hi everyone, I'm Jennifer and am new to sparkpeople. I had a miscarriage in November, right around Thanksgiving. This has been my first and only pregnancy so far. Around this same time we moved across the country from NC to TX and then lost our precious labrador to lung cancer. Throughout all this I gained 15 pounds. My husband is ready to try again, but not only am I fighting bouts of jealousy at my friends and family with healthy pregnancies and kids of their own, I'm also depressed at... Sun, 4 Jan 2009 23:28:47 EST Name Change I just wanted everyone to know that I changed my name from nbourassa to Momin09. <BR> Sorry if this causes any confusion. Sun, 28 Dec 2008 11:02:28 EST Misscarriage in September I had my m/c back in September, and i have to say one of the hardest thing to go through ever i was 12 weeks along, my m/c was done naturally. But the worst part is 2 of my friends are pregnant due around the time i would be. And it just kills me to go online and I see their u/s pictures on facebook, i just think that would be my baby , my baby would have little fingers like that. And I was almost a month late this month on my period so I thought that maybe I was pregnant again but everything... Mon, 22 Dec 2008 00:57:42 EST How are you doing? Since the death and birth of my daughter I have become increasingly aware of the fact that the first thing anyone says to me is "how are you doing?" I don't know how to answer that question anymore. I could be honest and say "I am really depressed, I cry a lot, I miss my daughter, I am mad at the world, and sometimes I think it would all be better if I never woke up. How are you?" But, people might stop talking to me if I did this. So, I just say "I'm alright," but it is not genuine and ... Sun, 14 Dec 2008 23:09:20 EST Thank You! The Whale. The pictures didn't carry through but I thought this was a great story. Thank you!! <BR> <BR> <BR> The Whale <BR> <BR> If you read the front page story of the SF Chronicle, <BR> you would have read about a female humpback whale <BR> who had become entangled in a spider web of crab traps <BR> and lines. <BR> <BR> She was weighted down by hundreds of pounds of traps that caused <BR> her to struggle to stay afloat. She also had hundreds of yards of <BR> line rope wrapped around her body... Wed, 10 Dec 2008 13:56:37 EST Please Lord not again! I have a Dr. apt today at 2:30 because I've had some bleeding. I am so scared that I am going to have anther miscarriage yet this year. Please pray for my and my little bean. I hope it's just a fluke and that everything is ok. I am not sure I can go though another miscarriage again. Although I might not have a choice. Wed, 10 Dec 2008 11:44:12 EST Going to need lots of Prayer So today I got some really exciting news yet I'm really scared. I am pregnant.I have had two miscarriage this year and I have a blood clotting problem that I am on medicine for that may or may not help the baby to not end up with clots killing it. This is going to be a very long and scary 9 months.And really there is no way to know it's worked until I deliver a healthy baby. Tue, 9 Dec 2008 12:51:10 EST Looking for sample obituaries... I am dedicating a page on my blog to sample infant obituaries. I sanitise them so that the format and wording is the same, but locations and names are not identified.(If you are willing to share yours as is, that is okay with me.) If you are willing to share yours, please p.m. me or contact me through the blog in my signature line. You can see a link to "sample obituaries" for more information. Thank you. Tue, 9 Dec 2008 09:02:57 EST An article to share I received this article from a new friend who suffered a stillbirth 10 weeks ago. I think it's a great article for those who have family or friends who just don't understand and perhaps say or do the wrong things. First it's an article from another woman grieving the stillbirth of her daughter. Near the end it gives wonderful tips for those who know someone who has suffered such a tragic loss. <BR> <BR> As someone who has suffered multiple miscarriages AND a stillbirth, the article is a diff... Sun, 7 Dec 2008 19:30:25 EST Best Sport Bras for... Anybody know where I can find the best sport bra?? I am rather large chested and when I try to jog in cheap bras, I still bounce and flop. I end up spending more time adjusting myself than getting to workout. <BR> <BR> I wear a 38D bra and since having 3 boys and nursing all 3 (and a little gravity) I sag. So with cheap bras I have to put in, push up, pull out and constantly adjust. So I am usually spending more time doing that than getting my head and body ready for my workout. Plus I want... Sun, 7 Dec 2008 11:31:17 EST WORLDWIDE CANDLE LIGHTING EVENT Worldwide Candle Lighting <BR> <BR> The Compassionate Friends Worldwide Candle Lighting®, held annually the second Sunday in December, this year December 14, unites family and friends around the globe as they light candles for one hour to honor and remember children who have died at any age from any cause. As candles are lit at 7 p.m. local time, creating a virtual wave of light, hundreds of thousands of persons commemorate and honor the memories of children in a way that transcends all ethn... Wed, 3 Dec 2008 20:28:13 EST wow. i can't believe you guys are here Hi I'm Ruth. a friend of mine on another team told me about this one. I found out I was pregnant Novemeber 13th, it was my first pregnancy and lost my baby the day before Thanksgiving. and i am so damn mad. I'm mad at myself for not having my body be in the best condition because maybe if i did this wouldn't have happened. but i'm mostly mad right now at my OB/GYN and his office right now. i had bleeding and spotting even as i found out that I was pregnant and the bleeding never stopped. and ... Mon, 1 Dec 2008 20:05:06 EST I need some support.. I posted last week about how great I was doing with my loss and how I was dealing with the inlaws in a more constructive way, like ignoring them. <BR> <BR> This weekend I found out my SIL/BIL are finding out what they are having this upcoming week. The anger just comes back at full throttle. I don't know how to make it stop. (They called us 4 days after I lost our baby to tell us they were 7weeks pregnant) I thought I was making progress, I'm not happy for them. I'm agry at them and sad for... Sun, 30 Nov 2008 18:19:52 EST Something SPECIAL I want to share I just got done creating a side show set to music for my precious stillborn Angel Baby, Chaya Eliana. <BR> <BR> If you are feeling up to it, I'd like to share it with you. <BR> <BR> Fri, 28 Nov 2008 21:54:41 EST BFP Today Hi guys! <BR> I know I am pretty new here but wanted to post the great news that I got my BFP today. I am not going to let my miscarriage in Sept get me into a terrified state. I am going to keep my hopes high and pray like crazy that this time will result in a healthy baby! Mon, 24 Nov 2008 20:32:37 EST I've Made Progress This will most likely be lengthy but I feel like I need to get some things out. I need to have my progress in writing. This weekend was a turning point for me. I woke up Saturday feeling sorry for myself. Feeling like I was stuck, being sad about losing two babies in one year, the prospects of never having another baby again and the reality that our family may be one of 4. I cried and got the emotional stuff out. <BR> <BR> But I also had a conversation with my husband who has been great th... Sun, 23 Nov 2008 20:59:52 EST A Grieving Parent Is.... A little something for you to share with those who perhaps don't understand your grief. <BR> <BR> ======================================= <BR> <BR> <BR> A grieving parent is someone who will never forget their child no matter how painful the memories are. <BR> <BR> A grieving parent is someone who yearns to be with their dead child but cannot conceive leaving their living ones. <BR> <BR> A grieving parent is someone who has only part of a heart as the rest of it is buried with their chil... Thu, 20 Nov 2008 21:22:46 EST Having a hard time with December around the corner I have been a member of this group for almost a year now but I have only posted a few times and that was almost a year ago. Why now you might ask, well I guess I need some support from people who have been there. I will fill you in a little. <BR> <BR> I have had fertility problems for years after our first daughter was born. It took me 10 years to have another child. We started trying as soon as we got the all clear for a third child but it took me 6 years to get pregnant with him. However t... Sun, 16 Nov 2008 17:27:18 EST Miscarriage Blankets I haven't went through a miscarriage myself but I have a loss and I have watched friends go through miscarriages. Out of all the pain I decided to do something positive,so I am now selling little teeny tiny blankets that would have been about the right size to keep your lost little one warm. All of my profits go to the March of Babies in the name of my daughter that lost this past February. Please if your interested you can read more here: <BR> <BR> Sat, 15 Nov 2008 21:03:00 EST Miscarriage Blankets I haven't went through a miscarriage myself but I have a loss and I have watched friends go through miscarriages. Out of all the pain I decided to do something positive,so I am now selling little teeny tiny blankets that would have been about the right size to keep your lost little one warm. All of my profits go to the March of Babies in the name of my daughter that lost this past February. Please if your interested you can read more here: <BR> <BR> Sat, 15 Nov 2008 21:02:23 EST In Loving Memory Last night was one week since I gave birth to my Sleeping Angel. Today marks the one week anniversary of the last time I will see her on this Earth. <BR> <BR> I'm having a really difficult time today. I'm angry at myself because I didn't make her birth as special as I wanted to with candles and relaxing music and scented oils, regardless of the circumstances. <BR> <BR> I'm angry with myself because even though her pictures are beautiful, there are some I didn't me holding her o... Fri, 14 Nov 2008 15:33:39 EST Needing support Hello I am new here. I found sparkpeople about a year ago. We started ttc and then I decided after three months of failed attempts that I wanted to get healthy first. I was able to lose 40 lbs and we started trying again. I got pregnant after two months. I was ecstatic. I have had one completely healthy pregnancy before and now have a 3 year old daughter. Right when I found out, a friend of mine was finding out that she had had a blighted ovum and had to have a D & C. It worried me to ... Tue, 11 Nov 2008 00:20:12 EST Another Angel Baby Baby Chaya Eliana, due February 23 2008, was born in the arms of the Angels at 10:06pm on November 6, 2008 <BR> <BR> An Angel from the Book of Life <BR> <BR> Wrote down my baby's birth, <BR> <BR> And whispered as she closed the book <BR> <BR> "Too Beautiful for Earth" <BR> <BR> ~Unknown Sat, 8 Nov 2008 11:36:32 EST My would have been Due Date Although most babies are not born on their due date I did expect that mine would make it close to that day. Instead I had my 1st miscarriage at 7 weeks. Today is the day my 2nd was estimated to have been born. Today is a day that I will always remember and celebrate the short time I had with my angle baby. Many people who have not had miscarriages will not understand me needing this day to honor my missing child. Yet anyone who has had a miscarriage or lost a baby at birth will tell you it is... Fri, 7 Nov 2008 08:12:16 EST Try Again? Has anyone thought about trying again? I had serious complications with my last miscarriage and we so wanted another babay. But the risk for me is so great now that we don't know if its worth it. Of course if we could actually carry the baby full term it would be worth it but if not. I'm so afraid to have a repeat of what happened this time. I have two beautiful kids and I'm wondering if I should be content with that and not take the risk. I think I will always want another baby, always. <BR>... Sat, 1 Nov 2008 17:40:18 EST October= regnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month This is a letter I sent to several local papers. It got published in one of them and I am thankful: <BR> ________________________ <BR> As most people know, October is Breast Cancer awareness month. What many do not know is that <BR> October is also Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. Unfortunately, there is no cure to be <BR> found. But those of us who have endured the loss through miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, or early <BR> infant death do share something as those experienced wit... Fri, 24 Oct 2008 22:21:23 EST I'm new! /Hi, I'm Jess. <BR> I have been on sparkpages losing weight and found this team. Thankfully! I've lost 2 babies this year, the first one at 8weeks on 2/1/08 and the second at 16 weeks on 9/15 surgery with this one almost killed me. I lost a lot of blood, needed transfusions and my blood pressure crashed a few times. Not a good situation. But I'm seeing a therapist to try and come to terms with this lost. I have two children 3 and 2. We've always wanted 3, however that may never happen. The l... Thu, 23 Oct 2008 14:17:36 EST New to the team Hello all, <BR> My name is Diana, i am a USA expat living in Haarlem (the Netherlands). Went through 3 m/c's (July 2007, 9 weeks / November 2007, 7 weeks / May 2008, 8 weeks), and have been through the whole blood testing, genetic screening, etc etc etc since then. Everything has come back 100% normal for both DH and i, so we are sort of back to square 1. I have been trying to find out more information about Progesterone deficiency and whether it may be applicable in my case, but the OBGYNs o... Thu, 23 Oct 2008 11:01:09 EST Just ONCE. That's ALL I ask. JUST ONCE. WHY can't I have a normal pregnancy JUST ONCE? This is my FINAL PREGNANCY, and it is even worse than the other two as far as risks go. Why can't I just have JUST ONE normal pregnancy JUST ONCE! <BR> <BR> My first one I had HELLP. My second one I had preeclampsia. Third and fourth I miscarried. And now the fifth... <BR> <BR> SAU. High blood pressure. Pernicious Anemia. <BR> <BR> And now? NOW there is an official diagnosis of LOW AMNIOTIC FLUID VOLUME. Later pregnancy (3rd Tri) it might not ... Fri, 17 Oct 2008 19:56:15 EST Intro Hello all. I am new here. I felt unsure whether to join because I do have children--twins that are almost 5 and a 20-month old. However, in June I lost twins at 9 weeks and just this week lost a singleton at 11 weeks. It seems very unreal. I don't know that I will ever try to get pregnant again and that hurts because as with most women, you get your heart set on having a baby as soon as you get that positive test. Anyway, I hope to lend support and have a place to vent if I feel like I ... Fri, 17 Oct 2008 18:33:18 EST Does it really help? I have read that naming the child(ren) that you lost can help you deal with the pain. Has anyone done this that didn't have a name picked already? If so, do you think it helped. Thu, 16 Oct 2008 22:25:16 EST BFP After our miscarriage in July, we found out yesterday that we are pregnant again. This was our second cycle after the D&C that we had. Everyone please pray that this is a sticky one. Tue, 14 Oct 2008 11:23:01 EST Still have a belly Hello ladies. <BR> <BR> My DH and I lost our baby on Thursday (10/9/08). What I don't understand is that my pants are now fitting a lot more snuggly now than they were before I lost my baby. <BR> <BR> Has this happened to anyone before? This was my first pg/ m/c and I did't know what to expect. <BR> <BR> Thanks for your feedback. <BR> <BR> I hope everyone is having a good and thinking a lot of positive thoughts! Tue, 14 Oct 2008 10:23:17 EST Anyone had a hysteroscopy? I was wondering if anyone has had a hysteroscopy done? If you have, what was your experience like? Tue, 7 Oct 2008 01:40:57 EST Cycle Question I'm trying to figure out how many days my cycle is. I had my m/c on July 22. Before my m/c I had a cycle of 28-30 days, more often 28. AF came on Aug. 22, so I know that is Day 1. The next AF came on Sept. 15 which is only 24 days. I'm trying to figure out my cycle for this month to see I should be due. Do you think I should go by the 24 days that it was after m/c, or should I still go by my 28 days that I was before the m/c? Mon, 6 Oct 2008 15:23:22 EST Selfish? So I found out last night that BIL and SIL are expecting their second. They are 6 weeks along and just had their first u/s. This is actually #3 for them. They were pregnant around the same time that we were in May, but had a m/c a few weeks before our m/c. They conceived right away. My problem is is that they are having financial difficulties. I guess here is the selfish me, how come it's so easy for them to get pregnant and why am I always the aunt and never the mom? <BR> I hope that t... Sat, 4 Oct 2008 09:30:20 EST Thank you all.... ....For all your advice and wisdom. About me taking Me time... <BR> Well, I am going to get my "me" time. I did not ask hubby, I told him that every Friday I wanted to do something...I wanted my say in what we do or don't do together but only on Fridays! <BR> So Friday the kids are off and I am off and we are all going to the mountains for a long hike. I love nature and when I am out there for very long period of time I feel relaxed, refreshed, and reenergized. I feel balanced again. <BR> ... Wed, 1 Oct 2008 21:20:35 EST