SparkPeople Overcoming Self-Injury and Depression Team Messageboard Helping those that struggle with self-injury of any type (cutting, burning, etc) who may also struggle with depression. SparkPeople Overcoming Self-Injury and Depression Team Messageboard The temptation to self-injury Its really hard not to punish yourself when you feel like you have failed. I find, in "failure", the need to be hard on myself and my old habit, my comfort zone, is to cope by self-injury. Its like a strange release. I know that it is difficult to break this habit, to find other means of coping, but its an uphill battle every day to remind myself that failure is human, that falling short of a goal is human, and does not mean I'm a failure in itself, but did not meet my goal that day. I guess ... Sun, 23 Sep 2012 12:48:35 EST Hi I am your new Team Leader My name is Stephanie and I am almost 27 my bday being feb 2. I suffer from Depression and self injury and if you guys are willing I am here to help. I have alot of time on my hands to make this page someplace special and different than other team pages. But that all depends on how much you all want to be a part of it. I have suffered Depression my whole life and my form of self injury was picking and picking and digging and digging at my skin. I was just told I had OCD in Dec. I think the big... Sun, 30 Jan 2011 02:28:33 EST Leaving the team This team does not seem to be very active which makes me believe that I am not equipped to lead this team. I am a part of another great team that should be helpful if you would like to join. It's called "To Write Love on Her Arms." <BR> <BR> Thanks, <BR> Aron Wed, 7 Jul 2010 17:27:29 EST hi Hi i'm AmyM. i am 20years old. i started self-harming at age of 11 from bullying, wasnt bad until i turned 13. for 5months i got sexually abused which triggered it alot more. it calmed down til age of 17 where it became the worse. before christmas i wasnt just cutting, i was burning self, hitting my head against walls, pinching self and tugging my hair. in january i got sent home from work for collapsing in tears, was on sick leave due to 'stress' though it was depression, which the managers ... Wed, 26 May 2010 17:13:01 EST Catch-22 I got written up at work for un-excused absences. I have to have a doc note from now on. This includes half-day absences. Those are days I am breaking down and have to go home to take the meds that knock me out so I don't break completely and end up in the hospital. So... if I leave... I have to go spend three hours in the waiting room, waiting to be squeezed in between the other psychos and screaming children, so I can get a note to excuse me? Yea... that's really going to help my problems. ... Tue, 25 May 2010 08:08:24 EST Have you ever had "one of those days"? Well, yesterday was an interesting day. Not bad necessary-just interesting. After getting up early and driving an hour and a half to see a client, I took my laptop to the library to work. While in there a policeman comes asking for the owner of my car. My first thought was “oh boy, what did I do now?” Turns out someone else had backed into my car in the parking lot . . .again. You know, that never happened to me until I bought a new car!! Thankfully, she was not hurt and has insurance.... Thu, 22 Apr 2010 10:10:15 EST **TRIGGER** Having a hard time**BIG TRIGGER** Staring at the stains that won't come out of the sheets. I binged for the past three days. I feel sick. I want to make the numbness go away. I want to feel that bite that makes it all better. But I am so depressed. I can't bring myself to do it. Which is good; I guess. <BR> <BR> I just want to see it. The crimson and white. Stare at the edge. But I can't reach for the release. I need it so badly, but I am numb. Inside I am screaming. Inside I am bleeding. But outside I am numb. <BR> <BR> I... Wed, 7 Apr 2010 21:59:00 EST Oh god help me **TRIGGER** I am not doing well. I have a doc appt for female issues and it could be bad. I have been so stressed the past couple of days, but managed to hold it together (barely). I screwed up Monday, but not very badly. Just minor and it looks like it's a week old instead of two days. <BR> <BR> But the stress of my app today is just too much. I lost it last night. I texted my rm for a valium and a xanax to take on top of my meds that knock me out. I was in pain, so the valium would help that. But I co... Wed, 17 Mar 2010 09:11:21 EST Relapse What do you do when you relapse into self-injury behavior? Fri, 26 Feb 2010 14:20:54 EST Depression treatment tips I know that several of us struggle with depression, so let's share what we can do to beat this thing! :) Fri, 5 Feb 2010 07:31:54 EST Challenge? Would anyone like to start a challenge-like exercise or practicing meditation or something else. Just let me know if you have any ideas! :) Tue, 19 Jan 2010 13:31:13 EST Hi Hi all. <BR> <BR> Ill at the moment, so not all there. Will update this when I feel better, but just wanted to say hi! <BR> <BR> Squdge Mon, 18 Jan 2010 07:46:43 EST Hi all! I am glad that I found this group! I just recently rejoined Sparkpeople after a long absence. I am 26 years old and have self-harmed since high school. I am doing okay these days in fact I have gone almost a full month without hurting myself. I hope to get support here. Take care, one and all! Mon, 11 Jan 2010 05:45:44 EST MIA Hey everybody: <BR> <BR> I wanted to apologize for not being around much lately. I keep having migraines, which makes looking at a computer screen difficult. I'm still here though, and I read all of your posts. I'll go back to being more active in posting myself once my head starts feeling better. <BR> <BR> Happy New Year! <BR> <BR> Aron Wed, 30 Dec 2009 20:48:31 EST It's almost the New Year, so what are your goals! What are some of your goals that you would like to achieve next year? It could be anything. For me, I would like to: <BR> <BR> 1. Get another job <BR> 2. Start exercising three times a week <BR> 3. Eat healthier <BR> 4. Win the lottery (okay, okay-so that's more of a wish :) Mon, 28 Dec 2009 12:04:53 EST Never been to see anybody I have been SIing for almost 10yrs now i can stop for about 6 months and i will start again i keep telling myself i need to go see someone but i dont have the time i work alot and I refuse to take off for anything. Anyways i glad to be part of this group Wed, 16 Dec 2009 11:32:43 EST What are some of your Christmas traditions? Do you have any Christmas traditions? Are there any traditions that you would like to start? <BR> <BR> My family always watches several versions of "A Christmas Carol." Thu, 10 Dec 2009 11:06:51 EST THE VENTING POST!! Do you ever just need to let everything out. Well, here's a good place to do it! So, feel free to yell, scream, cry. Sometimes we just need a sounding board, don't you think? This is also a safe option to have when you feel like self-harming. Thu, 10 Dec 2009 10:57:08 EST How Can I explain Cutting when I have a great life I have a great Life My mom and dad are very happy together and i have a great all around family very normal so why do i cut myself. I don't think is a problem I only really scratch myself really and its not like its everyday. no one knows about it no one knows me really. Mon, 23 Nov 2009 13:42:28 EST Tips for coping! I thought that I would create a thread where we could all share our tips for coping when our emotions seem to overwhelm us. Feel free to suggest! <BR> <BR> Aron Mon, 5 Oct 2009 22:34:22 EST Do you consider cutting & self mutilation the same I just came across this team. I have an anxiety/depressive disorder and I don't cut myself but I scratch myself until I bleed and I can sometimes back off for awhile but I end up coming back to clawing at myself with frustration until I just want to rip my insides out. I am on meds which help most of the time but not always. <BR> Pam Fri, 25 Sep 2009 05:40:11 EST New to the group! Hello, I'm new to the group here. I haven't started my therapy yet and I almost feel like what's the use now? My husband and I have had a rocky relationship from the beginning and now I'm cutting more frequently. Of course, any relationship will have it's emotional moments and, let's face it, when you're incapable of handling emotion like normal people, it makes it much more difficult. I'm not making excuses for myself, but that's what my husband would be saying. We just argued over the senti... Thu, 23 Jul 2009 09:45:03 EST Question of the day! 5/1/2009 It's Friday! What are you planning to do to de-stress this weekend? <BR> <BR> I'm planning on curling up with a good book! <BR> <BR> Aron Fri, 1 May 2009 08:38:48 EST What are your diagnosis? We want to help more! I thought that it might be helpful to discuss everything we struggle with. Several of us probably deal with several of the same issues. <BR> <BR> Besides physically cutting or burning myself sometimes I also struggle with Major Depressive disorder, an eating disorder, anxiety attacks, agoraphobia, migraine headaches, arthritis, and muscle spasms. <BR> <BR> How about everyone else? <BR> <BR> Aron Wed, 29 Apr 2009 04:46:35 EST What are your five top stressors right now? What are the top five things that are stressing you out right now? I know this may change from day to day, so feel free to posts as often as you would like. <BR> <BR> Today mine are: <BR> 1. My job-always stressed out about my supervisor lecturing me. <BR> 2. Finances-I never seem to have enough money. <BR> 3. My health-I never seem to feel well physically or emotionally. <BR> 4. Lack of social support-Sparkpeople is great, but sometimes you need a physical hug. <BR> 5. My weight-I seem to ... Mon, 27 Apr 2009 16:49:22 EST Easing the appearance of scars? Hey everyone. <BR> <BR> I was wondering if anyone here has tried anything to help reduce the appearance of scars from cutting and other self-harm. I've tried a few over-the-counter creams, as well as lemon juice and a couple of other "remedies" I found on the net, but nothing seems to help, even after long-term use. <BR> <BR> What are your experiences and what, if anything, helps your scars fade? Fri, 24 Apr 2009 01:36:17 EST Team Goals Hey Everybody: <BR> <BR> We need some team goals!! So, offer suggestions on the team goals that you would like to see here!! <BR> <BR> Aron Sat, 18 Apr 2009 12:12:39 EST What are your favorite movies (A-Z) and why? I thought we would try a couple of fun games? <BR> <BR> What are some of your favorite movies (in aphabetical order) and why do you like them? <BR> <BR> A-Annie <BR> <BR> I know it's a kid's movie, but I do like musicals. Tue, 14 Apr 2009 22:44:28 EST Therapy and medication Hey Everybody: <BR> <BR> I thought that we could share whether we are in therapy, what type of medication we are on, and if either of those things. I've been in therapy for over a year now and absolutely adore my therapist. It took me several months to gather enough courage to tell her about the cutting, but I was so relieved once I did. Regarding medication, the depression has increased so much, that my psychiatrist keeps adding medication. I am now on Effexor, Abilify, Xanax, and Ambie... Wed, 1 Apr 2009 20:27:15 EST Hello from a recovered cutter Hi everyone, I am 30 yrs old and have been suffering from chronic depression since the age of 16. I used to cut as a coping mechanism, but I have been cut free for about 10 years now. Looking back I think it stemmed from a feeling of a lack of or loss of control. I would cut when I felt frustrated or trapped with no options. I can't really say how I stopped, but learning to manage my depression has certainly helped. All I can say is stay strong :) Sun, 29 Mar 2009 19:57:54 EST What was your positive today? Hey everybody: <BR> <BR> I know that with all of the stress that we struggle with, it is sometimes difficult to focus on the positive. So, let's try. What was one positive thing that occured for you today? <BR> <BR> For me, I was able to talk with my best friend!! <BR> <BR> Aron Sun, 29 Mar 2009 17:06:11 EST Daily Chat Thread Hey everybody: <BR> <BR> How is everybody doing today? It's Friday, and I am so glad. I'm also excited. My cousin is getting married this afternoon, and I'm going to the wedding. It should be fun. Who knows, maybe I'll catch the bouquet. :) <BR> <BR> Have a great day! <BR> <BR> Aron Fri, 27 Mar 2009 10:06:35 EST What would you like to see hear? Hey everybody: <BR> <BR> I'm trying to get this site a little more active. Give me some ideas on what you would like to see here!! What type of blogs can be helpful? Would you like to start some game blogs? Or anything else that you can think of. Suggestions are always welcome, and you can Sparkmail me at any time! <BR> <BR> Hugs, <BR> Aron Thu, 26 Mar 2009 11:09:39 EST Coping mechanisms Hey everybody: <BR> <BR> I know that we all use cutting as a coping mechanism, but what else do you try to do to cope? <BR> <BR> For me, I either restrict my eating or binge (something else that I am working on). I also have other coping mechanisms such as exercise, journaling, drawing, praying, and the list goes on. <BR> <BR> What about you? What are some of your coping mechanisms? <BR> <BR> Hugs, <BR> Aron Wed, 25 Mar 2009 14:44:19 EST 100% better with God's help Hi everyone. Yesterday was a very difficult day with my urges and voices. Thank you for all the advice and prayers. Today I'm doing a lot better. Just wanted everyone to know <em>224</em> Sun, 11 Jan 2009 13:33:17 EST I'm doing better I'm doing better. Played a game with my staff and took some medications. I still have the suicidal urges but I'm more in control right now. Sat, 10 Jan 2009 19:31:14 EST I need lots of help now Hi. I just joined this spark people website. I've been battling with depression, voices, and urges for a long long time. I just moved into a new adult foster care home on Monday. The urge to cut and to committ suicide is very strong. My medications and prns do not help me. My staff will not let me go be checked out at the hospital even though I feel it is neccasary to keep myself safe. The voices and urges are putting ideas in my head that's hard to fight off. I'm afraid that if I don't get t... Sat, 10 Jan 2009 12:35:43 EST Family and friends Okay, so I am dragging my butt about going to visit family. I'll leave this afternoon-I promise. My mother actually left my house yesterday, and I'm suppose to drive to her house today. I love her-but she can be so frustrating at times. Ended up cutting again yesterday just to deal. She isn't a bad person-she's just VERY controlling! You know, it's a shame when you dread wonderful holidays like Christmas. <BR> <BR> Take care, <BR> Aron <em>233</em> Tue, 23 Dec 2008 12:35:56 EST Merry Christmas Hey Everybody: <BR> <BR> I just wanted to let you know that I will be out of town next week visiting my family for Christmas. Things will probably get a little crazy, so I may not be posting much. However, I will be thinking about you, and wanted to wish you all a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS!! <BR> <BR> Hugs, <BR> Aron Sat, 20 Dec 2008 12:08:22 EST Happy Sunday! Hey: <BR> <BR> I just wanted to check on you to see how you're doing? I'm dreading going back to work tomorrow, since it's so stressful, but I'm trying to enjoy today off while I can. I requested a couple of weeks off around Christmas time, and I can't wait. <BR> <BR> I was wondering. have you heard from our other member? <BR> <BR> Hugs, <BR> Aron Sun, 7 Dec 2008 15:18:45 EST Sparkgroups Hey: <BR> <BR> I recently started a new Sparkgroup that I wanted to let you girls know about. I entitled it "conquering emotional pain and stress." I'm a part of several Sparkgroups that deal with several issues (depression, anxiety, etc.). The members of these groups often have wonderful ideas and great support. I've often thought what a shame it is that we weren't all together to support each other. This may not work, but we'll see. :) Also, I wanted to let you know about another Spark... Sat, 6 Dec 2008 19:10:58 EST thanksgiving was intristing i told my family about me and cory this holliday, but some of it was just found out becuse i did not take the ring off. i gess that it is best this way. anywhay i wanted to die or atleas go lock my self away and do what i felt like i had to but i did not i just polightly ansered their questions to the best of my ability with out clapsing so i did not tell any of them that we want to get marryed before christmas. i tryed to talk to cory when i was in the car between the familys but of corse th... Fri, 28 Nov 2008 18:14:37 EST cutting and anger I was doing better yesterday, then I went to work. For some reason, my supervisor keeps riding me. He pulled me in his office today, and started telling me everything I've been doing wrong lately. I'm been working my butt off lately, so it made me very angry. Instead of saying something that could possibly get me fired, I went to the employee bathroom and sliced myself up. I know you're probably asking why I did not use any of the other coping strategies we've talked about, but I was rea... Mon, 17 Nov 2008 21:18:50 EST Better this weekend. Hey Girls: <BR> <BR> How was your weekend? For some reason I typically have a really difficult time on weekends, but this weekend I did better. My depression usually affects me being able to do anything, and I end up sleeping the entire weekend. However, this weekend I worked on getting things done around the house. Plus, I actually enjoyed myself. I'm still stressed about finances and about my health (I've been physically sick alot lately), but at least I didn't stay in bed the entire ... Sun, 16 Nov 2008 18:56:04 EST Depression and anxiety Hey Dolls: <BR> <BR> How have you been doing? I wondered if we could talk about some of the other issues that we deal with along with the urges we have to hurt ourselves sometimes. My personal experience with this is that they tend to be linked together. For example, I've already shared that I also struggle with anxiety and severe depression. For me, personally, it is these feelings that become so overwhelming that I end up cutting or burning myself to calm myself down, or to feel somethi... Sun, 9 Nov 2008 19:41:48 EST Welcome! Welcome to the team gentlebutch. We are looking forward to getting to know you! <BR> <BR> Hey Catgard13-How are you? <BR> <BR> Aron Mon, 3 Nov 2008 20:41:14 EST I really screwed up today Hey Girl: <BR> <BR> How are you doing? I have a confession. Things have been really stressful for me lately, and I finally broke today by cutting myself. I honestly haven't done that in a while. But, well, like I said-I've been really stressed. I binged really horribly today too. Sometimes I wonder if I'm ever going to be emotionally well. I see my therapist tomorrow. I'm ashamed to tell her how badly I screwed up-but I will. I always do. <BR> <BR> Enough about me, how are you? <B... Sun, 2 Nov 2008 18:32:09 EST Hey Happy Thursday! <BR> <BR> How was your day? My day was pretty rough-actually this week has been rough. I had quite a few clients call and cuss me out. I did not give into any unhealthy urges-however, it did cross my mind. I'm the type of person that internalizes everything, which is probably why I have so many problems. But, listen to me-I'm being selfish and gripping again. So, tell me about your day? <BR> <BR> Have a great evening! :) <BR> <BR> Aron Thu, 30 Oct 2008 20:13:18 EST Introduction Greetings: <BR> <BR> I just turned thirty and I am in recovery-from many things. I struggle with severe depression, an eating disorder, anxiety, and when I'm really stressed out I have a tendency to either cut or burn myself. This is a behavior that I am working very hard to change-along with the help of my wonderful therapist. I am looking forward to hearing from others in the group. <BR> <BR> Have a good evening! <BR> <BR> Aron Wed, 29 Oct 2008 19:41:10 EST introduce yourself will fill in later Mon, 13 Oct 2008 22:16:57 EST need help now!! for any one that needs someone to talk to ASAP. I will check this as much as i can. Mon, 13 Oct 2008 22:15:19 EST Cutters Unite I am a recovering cutter. i have not cut regularly for over 3 years but there was a few slip ups but i have learned what caused them and what to do to avoid them. i am more than happy to help others that are going down a similar path that i have traveled. <BR> i did not follow all of my doctors orders because i have been battling depression since i was 8 and i was raped and my parents got divorced (unrelated events). I have decided to stop seeing 3 different therapists with no prior notice be... Mon, 13 Oct 2008 22:01:56 EST