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MILLER-S's Photo MILLER-S Posts: 16,510
11/17/17 9:11 P

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I have willpower sometimes. But I have absolutely no willpower when I'm depressed, anxious and stressed. If someone hurts my feeling or makes me angry, I will literally go searching and scavenging for something to eat. I don't know how to cope with uncomfortable feelings.

"Praise is like sunlight to the human spirit: we cannot flower and grow without it." ~unknown

"The rest of your life is being shaped right now by the dreams you have, the choices you make, and the person you decide to be."~unknown

"Growth is becoming comfortable with discomfort."
- John Dowd, Jr.

"Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life."
- Golda Meir

"Let me not miss all that I am by punishing myself for what I am not


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ORTATK's Photo ORTATK SparkPoints: (22,912)
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11/13/17 8:36 A

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This is so true.

On my way to my new normal.


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WWREFUGEE1942's Photo WWREFUGEE1942 SparkPoints: (73,722)
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11/13/17 3:00 A

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If you create an environment of healthy food in your kitchen it will be easier to exercise your will power.



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CARPROTH's Photo CARPROTH Posts: 18,142
11/12/17 2:10 P

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For me it comes down to gratification now (over-eating or junk food eating) vs gratification a little later (weight and inches loss, more energy, feeling better about myself) - there's always that choice, and it's up to me to own whichever one I make.

Carol


Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss you will land amongst the stars.


Nothing changes when nothing changes.



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MICHELLEXXXX SparkPoints: (11,902)
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11/12/17 2:49 A

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I find I bear results when I focus on something "to do" rather than what "not to do". If I fill my time doing correct things, I have no time left to do incorrect things. I find this method helps alleviate the need to fight off bad behaviors because I'm focusing on developing good ones.

Edited by: MICHELLEXXXX at: 11/12/2017 (02:55)
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever exercises faith in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16


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JIBBIE49's Photo JIBBIE49 Posts: 69,875
11/10/17 1:05 A

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You already have all the willpower you will ever need.



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PATSGIRLY's Photo PATSGIRLY Posts: 1,221
11/9/17 6:47 P

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A great thread! I have willpower for awhile and then I will always let myself get in the way of it. A lot of good ideas here. Thank you!








"Knowing others is wisdom, knowing yourself is enlightenment." -- Lao Tzu








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SUSANSKI's Photo SUSANSKI SparkPoints: (46,013)
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11/8/17 9:28 P

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Yes. I was thinking last night about TOOLS.
If you have a rake, but don't put the power behind the rake, the leaves WILL NOT get done.
If you have a frying pan and spatula, but you don't put the power behind those two, the food won't get cooked.
If you have a car and the gasoline for it...but you don't climb in and DRIVE it, it's not going anywhere.

WE can NOT complain if we are not POWERING our tools.

As for sparking, what are our tools?
Knowledge of nutrition.
A handy (the handiest) nutrition log.
A wonderful exercise log.
A tracker for macro AND micro-nutrients.
Exercise videos---a gabillion of them. And of all kinds.
Step by step instructions on how to make a calorie deficit.
Information on every health topic that could possibly pertain to you.
Workout instructions for the impaired and morbidly obese.
Spark coach.
Instant help from experienced people who've already been through the War.
Instant encouragement.


Honestly, we have no excuse.

We need to APPLY these handy, FREE OF CHARGE, principles to our situation.
We need to grab the reins, clutch the captain's wheel,put our car in DRIVE.

WE need to.
No one else.
Not our spouse.
Not our children.
Not our best friend.
Not our doctor.
Not our nutritionist.
Not our trainer.
Not our spark buddy.

WE need to POWER our TOOLS.

We need to power that willpower that we keep imagining is soooo elusive, and get down to work.

If we can't put our POWER where our dreams are, we might as well just stop and accept our unhappy situation and just try to be happy over it.
If we don't like THAT idea...well...then...

WE need to POWER our tools.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Edited by: SUSANSKI at: 11/8/2017 (21:34)
And we all lived happily ever after...


Life.
It's Worth Living.
It's Worth Giving.
Choose Life.

Susan...ski www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=65758


http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/gro
ups_individual.asp?gid=65796

Build up the Culture of Life!
We can change hearts, by bringing up the next generation to embrace Life at an early age.
If only moral people are willing to do that, mass abortion will end.


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FELICIA1963 Posts: 11,889
11/8/17 7:52 A

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Willpower is something I really need to work on developing!

Felicia M Ciaudelli
Andalusia PA


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KMILLER31 Posts: 1,083
11/7/17 4:34 P

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I have good willpower once I make up my mind to do something. Thank goodness

FREDDYTT's Photo FREDDYTT Posts: 121
11/7/17 12:10 P

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Sugar free water flavoring has saved me from Soda. It is still concentrated syrup, but it goes into water and in small amounts. It has been by salvation. If you want to stop drinking soda, you just have to spend more time at McDonalds LOL. I ate at fast food places 3x a day, which is how I gained the last 50 pounds. Every time you push your cup against the lever and that syrup spits out into the cup because the syrup bag is low is enough to make you wonder what you're doing. It sounds as disgusting as it looks. Think about that. Thick, sticky, high fructose corn syrup mixed with artificial coloring and all those bizarre industrial ingredients you can hardly pronounce being spit into a cup and mixed with water thats been force injected with carbon dioxide gas.

MMMMMM. Gimme some LOL. I can see having a craft soda, like a craft root beer, or craft cream soda as a treat, but the days of me loading up on 2 liters at the checkout line are long gone. I just cant do it anymore.

Edited by: FREDDYTT at: 11/7/2017 (12:11)
SUSANSKI's Photo SUSANSKI SparkPoints: (46,013)
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11/7/17 12:03 P

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Thanks!


Those are very good ideas, ya know, the ones about ADDING the healthy.

And we all lived happily ever after...


Life.
It's Worth Living.
It's Worth Giving.
Choose Life.

Susan...ski www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=65758


http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/gro
ups_individual.asp?gid=65796

Build up the Culture of Life!
We can change hearts, by bringing up the next generation to embrace Life at an early age.
If only moral people are willing to do that, mass abortion will end.


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LADYSTARWIND's Photo LADYSTARWIND SparkPoints: (80,713)
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11/7/17 12:01 P

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Great story Susanski!! Your Mom made me smile.... emoticon

I think the easiest way to cut down on something...is actually to focus on ADDING other things! Decide that you want to add, say, 2 cups of green tea a day. It brings some healthy things, right? And then maybe look at adding a serving of low sodium V8 juice for your snack....lots of good things, right? And then maybe convince yourself that IF you eat 2 extra servings of veggies for lunch, you will let yourself have that can of pop...

And so it goes...one little decision at a time!
patti

Patti
New Rules: Veggies; then Protein; then Carbs! Exercise 10 min after meal...!


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SUSANSKI's Photo SUSANSKI SparkPoints: (46,013)
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11/7/17 11:14 A

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I agree with both of you. Iol.
I like pop, too. But I don't really want to do away with it altogether.
I decided to just drink it, but drink a little less and when that doesn't kill me, lol, bring the amount down a bit more.
Or, drink some every OTHER day, instead of EVERY single day.

I often think. Boy! I drink pop a lot more as an adult than we ever did as a kid.
Well, there's a reason for that.
Our parents, LIMITED it!

We can be the adults, too. Set up a guideline and simply stick with it.

Here's a side-story.
My mom and dad were coffee drinkers, but coffee was never something I was ever planning on drinking. First of all, I considered it an adult drink-there was no reason a kid should want/need coffee.
Mom was real careful around us kids, making sure we didn't get burned on her hot mug. I can remember her moving it to her other side, so we didn't bump and spill the hot liquid on us.

It wasn't until ...ohhhh...the past 8 years, maybe, that I found out that SOMETIMES that wasn't her COFFEE. That was her POP!
WHHHHHAAAAAATTTTTT!!!!!

That little stinker.

Edited by: SUSANSKI at: 11/7/2017 (11:14)
And we all lived happily ever after...


Life.
It's Worth Living.
It's Worth Giving.
Choose Life.

Susan...ski www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=65758


http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/gro
ups_individual.asp?gid=65796

Build up the Culture of Life!
We can change hearts, by bringing up the next generation to embrace Life at an early age.
If only moral people are willing to do that, mass abortion will end.


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BRYANTHEKID SparkPoints: (6)
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11/7/17 5:28 A

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Well, is not hard.Set yourself a short term goal first. Stick to it, and slowly push it further.
For example:today i drink only half a can, or 3/4, and so on. You will realize afetr some time you will adjust.

KESTRYLL's Photo KESTRYLL Posts: 9,152
11/7/17 1:10 A

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Wish I had the will power to stop drinking soda



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SUSANSKI's Photo SUSANSKI SparkPoints: (46,013)
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11/5/17 9:49 P

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Kriszta, those are great points.

Anarie, you made me laugh out loud.
emoticon

And we all lived happily ever after...


Life.
It's Worth Living.
It's Worth Giving.
Choose Life.

Susan...ski www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=65758


http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/gro
ups_individual.asp?gid=65796

Build up the Culture of Life!
We can change hearts, by bringing up the next generation to embrace Life at an early age.
If only moral people are willing to do that, mass abortion will end.


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ANARIE's Photo ANARIE Posts: 13,160
11/5/17 12:10 P



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You can also use lack of willpower in your own favor! Plan and log your meals ahead of time-- the night before, or first thing in the morning. Then if you eat something that's not in your plan, you have to drag out the computer and change it, which is a pain. Sometimes I eat right just out of laziness!



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KRISZTA11's Photo KRISZTA11 SparkPoints: (107,415)
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11/5/17 12:04 P

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Willpower is not very helpful in long term, because - as DIETITIANBECKY wrote - it is easily depleted. The more use it, the weaker it is.
Healthy habits are the opposite: the more you practice them, the stronger they become, so after some diligent practice, they become automatic, like brushing your teeth.
At least so I read in books Beck Diet Solution and Bright Line Eating,
and I find it true.

Kriszta

Goal weight:
58 +- 1 kg /// 128 +-2 pounds
CET (Europe, Hungary)

Maintenance Lessons Learned:
-go on with the healthy lifestyle learned in weight loss phase
-just add healthy foods gradually to stop losing
-work out every day - 30-60 minutes is enough to maintain weight and good mood
-do not try to balance overeating by extreme workouts, it is not going to work
-avoid overeating, instead of satisfaction you get stronger cravings


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JPATENAUDE1215's Photo JPATENAUDE1215 Posts: 1,024
11/2/17 12:42 P

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It's so hard to have willpower period. I finally got to my point where I said to myself I can do this. You just have to push yourself to believe you can be strong. Just try to ignore the urge to have one more helping, or to eat junk. Then when you are ready have one little piece of chocolate or candy or whatever your weakness is but don't go crazy. You can do it!!



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MICHELLEXXXX SparkPoints: (11,902)
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11/2/17 2:05 A

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I need to stop telling myself I'll eat better tomorrow. How to get a little willpower?
What is your solution?

- Message Posted by: GRAMCRACKER46 - 10/29/2017

What is your goal?
What is your motivation for reaching that goal?

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever exercises faith in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16


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GRAMCRACKER46's Photo GRAMCRACKER46 Posts: 1,724
11/1/17 1:47 P

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Thanks all. Things I already know of course. I liked the term "decision making" and also SUSANSKI's fives. Becky you're always full of good advice.

People!
read the INGREDIENTS!

"It's not what you eat between Christmas and New Years that matters, it's what you eat between New Years and Christmas that counts. "

Sharon from Florida





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SUSANSKI's Photo SUSANSKI SparkPoints: (46,013)
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10/31/17 12:15 A

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I liked several views here.
In regard to Becky's comment about making the bad things harder to work for, I thought that was a really great idea.
And you can change that around for fitness, too. If you tend to want to curl up in a chair and veg out, or lie on the couch....KEEP YOUR SHOES ON! Totally not comfortable. Plus the added cushion in your shoes tend to give a bit of bounce to your step so maybe you'll feel more energetic, as well.

As far as snacking goes. I LOVE to snack (of course that's a downfall). Instead of eliminating snacking altogether I portion out some bite-size candies and allow myself the treat. When it's gone, it's gone. Then when the whole bag is all gone, I can have the fun of choosing something new and different for the next time.

It also helps to have something sweet with your meal (like fruit or a juice) to make you feel complete.

Lately I've been going by FIVES. And it seems to help:
Eat five more pieces (or bites) of fruit.
Five LESS bites of your unhealthy snack.
Walk five more steps (or five more minutes) than you usually do.
Stand five more minutes than usual.
SIT five LESS minutes than usual.


Weaning OFF of the bad habits that got us where we are today (needing sparkpeople) and weaning ON to the GOOD lifestyle choices.

Those kind of baby steps, I am finding, are something my personality needs.


Edited by: SUSANSKI at: 10/31/2017 (00:17)
And we all lived happily ever after...


Life.
It's Worth Living.
It's Worth Giving.
Choose Life.

Susan...ski www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/groups_i
ndividual.asp?gid=65758


http://www.sparkpeople.com/myspark/gro
ups_individual.asp?gid=65796

Build up the Culture of Life!
We can change hearts, by bringing up the next generation to embrace Life at an early age.
If only moral people are willing to do that, mass abortion will end.


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ANARIE's Photo ANARIE Posts: 13,160
10/30/17 11:46 P



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There's no such thing as willpower. There's just decision-making. You decide what you're going to eat. Train yourself that before you open your mouth, you have to mentally say, "I've decided to eat this because _____." Sometimes you're going to decide to eat something less than healthy just because you want it, and that's okay. But if you admit to yourself that everything is your choice, your decision, it gets a lot easier to decide NOT to eat something you don't need.



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MARTHA324's Photo MARTHA324 SparkPoints: (171,399)
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10/30/17 9:09 P

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For me it was many things.....having to rest at every flight going up the stairs at Grand Central, having trouble getting up off the floor, realizing that at age 61 I was just going to get fatter, older and less mobile.....it all finally clicked that I had to do something.
Committed to eating healthy most of the time, tracking my food, staying at a reasonable calorie goal and moving more. Realized this wasn't a diet; it had to be a lifestyle so I made small sustainable changes.
That worked.

Persistence is more important than perfection.

Don't assume your freedoms are assured.

If you're not outraged, you're not paying attention.


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FREDDYTT's Photo FREDDYTT Posts: 121
10/30/17 2:34 P

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I don't want to be sick; that's my motivation. I can't afford health insurance because the rates are so high on the individual market (I'm self employed). I can't afford to keep going to the doctor for blood tests and everything else. When my weight is around 200 pounds, my bloodwork comes back perfect. When I get round 230-250 pounds, my triglycerides are high, my bad cholesterol is high, I'm at risk of type 2 diabetes, high blood pressure, heart disease and strokes, certain types of cancer, sleeping problems, liver disease, kidney disease, I feel lethargic etc, etc, etc. Inactivity and lack of stretching makes my muscles tight and my sciatic nerve gets pinched making my left leg feel like a million needles are pricking it at once.

I often wonder what my motivation was to not live a healthy lifestyle and eat real, whole foods LOL? Eating poorly and not being active has only made me feel depressed, and effected my health in a negative way. Not only did my poor lifestyle choices affect the quality of my life in a negative way, but cost me money on Dr's office visits and tests that could have gone towards something else...and I did it all to myself. Thats the kicker. It wasn't genetic, or bad luck. I was consciously and purposely doing it to myself. I don't want to be sick and die 15-20 years earlier than I would if I just ate foods and lived in such a way that makes me feel good and maintains a healthy weight. My mother is 88. Her sisters all died more than a decade ago. Smoking and eating unhealthy and inactivity took them years before my mother who listened to her doctors and stopped smoking and lost weight.

My mom really misses her sister Barbara the most. She told me that a few years ago, and that when they were both young, Barb said - "you only life once Mary". My mom then said "and I'm still here and shes gone".

Edited by: FREDDYTT at: 10/30/2017 (14:41)
LADYSTARWIND's Photo LADYSTARWIND SparkPoints: (80,713)
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10/29/17 11:37 P

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Start Eating Better Today!!
As often as possible, remind yourself of your macros: have I had enough healthy fat today, have I had enough protein, how am I doing on my carb counts and fiber?? Choose snacks that fit what you need to be healthy.... Keep plenty of good choices available: choose some fruits/cheeses/etc you might not normally buy so you have a "treat" to look forward to that is good for you....and kind of unique at the same time.

Will Power is totally a myth in my book.... Yes, sometimes we have to tell our Inner Child a firm "No--not now...that will be there later...after I eat something good for me" But that's different than some imaginary force we can magically invoke to keep ourselves on a too narrow path. And its so much easier to take action in a Positive way for ourselves than Live in a constant Negative environment: I can't have that, I won't have that, etc. Deprivation gets old really quickly!! All the best,
patti

Edited by: LADYSTARWIND at: 10/29/2017 (23:39)
Patti
New Rules: Veggies; then Protein; then Carbs! Exercise 10 min after meal...!


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CAKEMAKERMOM's Photo CAKEMAKERMOM Posts: 2,484
10/29/17 9:43 P

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What I do is not bring home temptations. I will binge on candy if I bring it home and allow myself to have it, so it doesn't come home, and especially not in bulk.

The stuff I have at home for the kids snacks I put in the cupboard that is only for the kids stuff. I don't go in it and forget what is in there most of the time. I also get stuff I don't like to eat for them.

I make my husband put his treats in his work area out of sight.

I allow myself small treats that fit into my calorie plan. If I never allow it, I will binge. If I do allow it, I am satisfied with less. I generally have to go out of the house for the majority of my treats. I'm picky about the chocolate I enjoy, so I'm satisfied over quality, not quantity. I'll get the small single serve box so I don't keep going through a whole big box of chocolate.

My house is set up so that fruit is the first thing in sight when I need a snack. What is in eye reach is also in hand reach.

An excuse is just a challenge to figure out how to do something different.


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DIETITIANBECKY's Photo DIETITIANBECKY Posts: 28,124
10/29/17 9:02 P

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Research shows that the average person has to make over 200 food decisions daily. This makes you tired and as the day drags on and you are more and more tired...you know what happens.

In the typical daily environment, no one has that amount of "will power", so stop beating yourself up. Instead, build your surroundings for success. Make the healthy (low calorie) choice the easy choice. High calorie foods need to become the hard choice.

For example:
Don't keep candy, sweets, ice cream in your house, work, car, etc. If you want something sweet you must "work" for it. That means you must get in your car and drive somewhere to get the food.

Don't eat out at restaurants. Or set a limit to 1 time per week. And if you go, don't look at the menu--already have planned what you are going to order.

Keep your home, work--stocked with low calorie soups, salad makings, fruit, vegetables, etc.

I know a wife who make her husbands keep chips in the shed in the work bench. It is not in the house to tempt the wife, but the husband can still have his chips when working in the shed.

What are the situations that are happening daily that are getting in the way of your success? Identify these. Share them if you want. Perhaps we can help you come up with a plan.

Becky
Your SP Registered Dietitian Nutritionist

NIRERIN Posts: 14,124
10/29/17 7:02 P

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You do some combination of the following things
-find healthy foods that you enjoy eating
-tweak old recipes to be better for you
-pair a not as healthy item with a healthy item and have them together
-stock your house with easy healthy options that you enjoy
-focus on making better choices that are realistic for where you find yourself. steamed tofu probably isn't going to hit the spot if what you want is a bloomin onion. if you starve/deprive yourself all day, it's going to be much easier to lose control at night. each eating opportunity does not have to result in the most perfect option that anyone has ever thought of. it's okay to have wings or a drink every now and then, but you do have to balance it out with your needs and what you are doing the rest of the time.

-google first. ask questions later.

GRAMCRACKER46's Photo GRAMCRACKER46 Posts: 1,724
10/29/17 4:29 P

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I need to stop telling myself I'll eat better tomorrow. How to get a little willpower?
What is your solution?

Edited by: GRAMCRACKER46 at: 10/29/2017 (16:30)
People!
read the INGREDIENTS!

"It's not what you eat between Christmas and New Years that matters, it's what you eat between New Years and Christmas that counts. "

Sharon from Florida





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