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GOROBGO's Photo GOROBGO SparkPoints: (85)
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8/23/14 1:31 P

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I believe people really want to know but the diet world has twisted them up where it is difficult to hear. I do agree with you most people want to lose quick fast and easy. This is all they hear out there.

For me it has been consistent weight loss. I have never felt like I have been on a diet and I went from 205-210 to currently 172.5, but it took 2+ years.

I try to tell people just trust in the process. I personally don't use this site, but know exactly where my weight lose or gain number is on a daily basis. This is what most are missing.

Anyone can say if I cut 500 calories a day or eat this many calories I can lose weight, but what if I only want to cut 50 calories today. This is where for me it all came together. Knowing that number is key for me.



Edited by: GOROBGO at: 8/23/2014 (16:17)
TINIERTINA's Photo TINIERTINA Posts: 4,962
8/21/14 7:47 P

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They want to be able to lose 30 pounds in 30 days while eating a whole bunch of ice cream, or really without exercising. Just for me to tell them how few calories I eat, how long it has taken me (anything over a month seems suspect to them), orrrr, if they're at all deep thinkers, which gym scared it off of me.

Yes, theoretically, weight can be scared off of someone ... just like when you get a rapid heartbeat watching a horror flick ...

[The actual grueling physical work would be done in the dead of night, under cover of darkness ... ]


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POSITIVEHOPE's Photo POSITIVEHOPE Posts: 1,152
8/21/14 2:13 P

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Yes, they do want to know. We all tried to lose using this diet or that and then gave up. Seeing someone stick with it is unusual. We each need to create our own journey and fill our plate with things we love. Someone else's plate just won't do. My goal is to design and refine a quiet accepting journey that feels so comfortable that I'd miss it if it were gone. I'm getting there. I work everyday to stretch myself to make sure my journey can go anywhere I want to go.



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BEINGERIN's Photo BEINGERIN Posts: 471
8/21/14 11:12 A

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In my experience, they are most interested in the number (in pounds) that you've lost, rather than how.



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8/20/14 6:02 P

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When people ask me this I try to tell them about SP, but they don't seem to want to hear about how a free website can help them. Their loss

Lenore (Vancouver, Canada)

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COFFEEGRL14's Photo COFFEEGRL14 SparkPoints: (136)
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8/20/14 12:21 P

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I was 350 lbs, now 220lbs. I'm asked this often by people that haven't seen me for a while. Sometimes I believe I'm asked as as conversation starter. At times of asked by another large person, I feel they want to know.



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BIKINIBOTTOM56's Photo BIKINIBOTTOM56 Posts: 345
8/20/14 12:18 P

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No...and when you start losing the weight the same people who told you that you needed to lose some weight will now be the ones that say "your losing weight? you need to stop, just accept yourself as you are"



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NSMRIDGEWAY's Photo NSMRIDGEWAY SparkPoints: (5,727)
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8/20/14 12:05 P

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I haven't gotten to experience that, but one thing I have noticed:
When you're training to walk your first 5k (that's me), you get all kinds of support and encouragement.
When you run your 3rd 10k (lonely chick at the gym I talked to yesterday; aka Lisa), everyone seams to resent you.

I think people just don't want to put in the work it takes. When they ask you how you did it, and you say "work," they get resentful because most people don't have it in them. They want you to say "10 day fad diet you can do too," or "surgery - it's not that expensive." Start talking about your journey, and they know they aren't going to follow.

"You aren't fat. You HAVE fat. Fat does not define you."


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ELECTRA7D's Photo ELECTRA7D SparkPoints: (8,760)
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8/20/14 3:04 A

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In my case, I'm taking a diabetes medicine that drastically reduces your appetite. It also causes nausea, constipation and an increased risk of cancer. But I've lost enough weight fast enough that people I don't know that well but see from time to time (like the cashiers at the grocery store) are noticing my weight loss and asking how I've lost the weight, and they get really interested when they hear about the medication, even with the side effects.

So I guess that's my magic pill. I can't wait until I'm healthy enough to stop taking it.

Judi


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SHE-LION's Photo SHE-LION SparkPoints: (37,797)
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8/19/14 12:19 P

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Some do but they don't really WANT to do what is needed.

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KPEDEN74 SparkPoints: (48,106)
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8/19/14 11:29 A

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I think people know how. They just don't want to take the time to make the healthier choices.



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8/18/14 6:58 P

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I had people react two different ways. Some were disappointed that there wasn't some sort of magic trick I did that made me lose the weight quickly. And some were pretty relieved to know that a healthy diet and exercise really could make a difference if they stuck with it.


"If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary-wise; what it is it wouldn't be, and what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?" - Alice from Alice in Wonderland


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8/17/14 3:27 P

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Only if you have a magic pill.

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MISSVOLUPTUOUS's Photo MISSVOLUPTUOUS Posts: 688
8/16/14 11:54 P

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Nope, nobody wants to know, but they do notice.

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8/16/14 8:21 P

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No, people don't want to know but they will notice I look better...that helps keep me going.



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KILTCHASER411's Photo KILTCHASER411 SparkPoints: (1,317)
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8/16/14 9:19 A

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People only seem interested when its a quick fix, I tell them it takes work, eating healthy, keeping an eye on amounts of food ate and boom they say they have no time or its too hard.

Everyone falls at one point what defines a person is what you do.


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8/14/14 7:57 A

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There are some people that are really interested in getting tips to a healthier body and way of life, I am one of them. BUT there are those that have no interest at all, you can see their eyes go vacant, they are definitely not interested lol!

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MIAMUSE's Photo MIAMUSE Posts: 401
8/13/14 2:24 P

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I have studied health issues for many years and have lots of experience with my own body. I also have a holistic health practice. I used to get very excited to share what I have learned with others so that they could be healthier - that info was received in many different ways. Sometimes I thought they wanted to know when they really didn't. I think people really want to know when they feel there is a problem that has to be remedied. When that realization occurs varies from person to person. As they say, when the student is ready, the teacher appears.

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8/13/14 10:42 A

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My mom was just telling me a story this morning except a coworker of hers had asked how does my mom stay slim and my mom said she doesn't eat a lot of rice, she eats small meals and she mows the lawn and the coworker actually laughed. I thought that was such an odd reaction.

Call me Sandy. My goals are reaching and maintaining 120 pounds, running a 5K race and performing 48 push-ups in a minute.


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FANNYMANSON's Photo FANNYMANSON SparkPoints: (19,017)
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8/12/14 5:17 P

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Some people will be interested for real. It's usually the people who are already trying to be healthier in their own lives. They have a genuine interest. I believe that some folks who are content with being sedentary and overweight comment to be polite but then zone out because they aren't interested in picking up any new tips for themselves or it's not immediately applicable to them.


Feed your head.


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8/12/14 5:15 P

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Some. I say I started with Weight Watchers, but finished my weight loss and embraced maintenance using SparkPeople. If they know I run, I tell them that I didn't start running until after several years of being very active and reaching a healthy BMI.

People that are truly interested ask more questions. Some join WW; some check out SP; and a couple people have joined my running group.

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Marsha's Keys to Success = Tracking! Super Foods! Step Up Cardio! And most important: Quit Quitting!!


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DOLLIE6's Photo DOLLIE6 Posts: 2,755
8/12/14 3:15 P

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you have done a wonderful job and are a beautiful woman. Good luck to you on staying healthy.

I am transforming.


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DICESARES's Photo DICESARES SparkPoints: (10,401)
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8/12/14 10:04 A

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Once I tell people I've lost over 45 pounds the last 20 months by diet and exercise alone, they are always trying to get me to "take" something when I say I have 40 more to go! "Oh! You should try Plexus then! I'm never hungry when I take that," or "You need to start taking that Alli stuff...it REALLY works!" And I look at them and say,"This is working for me. It may not be fast, but I am not dieting...this is now how I'm going to live my life. It took me almost 20 years to put on this weight, if it takes a couple years to get it off, I'm good. I just want to keep it off...naturally." This amazes people, I swear. What do they expect would happen after you quit taking all that "stuff that really works"? You gain back all that weight :) I just smile and know that I'm doing right by my body and my family.

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8/11/14 5:26 P

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Until people have reached the point where they are ready to make the long term changes nessecary than unless you have a magic bullet (which we sparkers know doesn't exist) I really don't think they want to know.
Personally my support sustem that joshes me about tracking calories but they are 100% supportive of the reasons behind why I'm doing what I'm doing. Do I let the teasing get to me? I used to but I watch my roomate and her boyfriend steadily gain weight as I'm taking it off and I keep my mouth shut and keep on trucking on. I have found what works for me and that is the big secret IMO

The minefields of life never go away, we just get better at navigating them.

The only place success comes before work is the dictionary.

For I know the plans that I have for you says the Lord, plans for good not disaster that shall give you hope.
Jeremiah 29:11


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BENE38464's Photo BENE38464 SparkPoints: (7,036)
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8/10/14 7:26 P

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LADYREDCOMET, I think for myself, it is better not to have a workout buddy. When I exercise, I can get efficient with it and don't waste any time, which is important to me. I work, play music for three Church services per weekend, and try to get at least 3 and striving for 4 workouts in. I heard a personal trainer make that statement and I believe that he is correct!

Bene38464


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8/10/14 1:00 P

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Congrats, I am going to try to follow Your example and see if I can get off about 50 pounds. Thanks for the inspiration! Kat

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8/10/14 12:14 P

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I've had a lot of classmates ask about what I do to keep my flat tummy. I wasn't in school yet when I lost the weight, or I imagine I'd have more questions about that, too. When I explain that it's a combination of good genetics, eating right about 80% of the time, and working out daily (including weight training 3 times a week), their eyes always glaze right over. It's kind of disappointing because I'd love to have a workout buddy to go to the gym with sometimes.

I never even mention tracking my food anymore because that just leads to people telling me I obsess too much, even though I no longer track for calories. It doesn't seem to reach these people that if you know what you're putting into your body, you can probably figure out where your problems are arising (too many calories, not enough nutritious food, etc.).



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SUGARSMOM2 SparkPoints: (146,968)
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8/10/14 9:19 A

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of course they do not want to hear about how hard it was to lose . they want a quick fix to everything . fast weight loss and medical cures are all the same push a button and it comes off . they do not want to hear about the fights that you battle with yourself or the hardships that you fought . You have done an amazing job . we applaud you for your journey . I hope that i can f emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon ollow your journey with as much success . well done .

sugarsmom2 donna wva


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CMCAMPBELL1 Posts: 11
8/9/14 11:07 A

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No, I don't think people really want to know how. Everyone seems to want a quick fix instead of putting the work into it. When I'm asked how I've lost 9 lbs, I tell people about SP and that I exercise 4-5 days/week and log my food & calories. Invariably I'm met with pushback - "That's too much work", "I don't have time for all that", or my favorite, "Oh, I can't give up my ..." (fill in the blank). I usually don't reply but what I want to say is if you always do what you've always done then you'll always get what you've always gotten.



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BENE38464's Photo BENE38464 SparkPoints: (7,036)
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8/8/14 1:07 P

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No, I think people turn you off if you try to tell them. I have lost 29 lbs., as of last Monday's weigh in. When I started out, I wore a size 16 and it was getting tight. I am wearing a size 10. People remark about it and say how "skinny" I am (I am 5' 8" tall) and they ask how I did it and I tell them exactly how, but they say they have their own way that they are following. I see them a few months later & they are still just where they were the last time I saw them. I think the specific diet a person chooses doesn't matter much, although I used the T-Factor Diet developed at Vanderbilt University because it is a healthy diet and my doctor approves of it. And although I am 76 years old, he approved that I should join the gym, where I go three times per week to do cardio & strength training. But we all know how it is done: EAT LESS & MOVE MORE! That's basically it! JUST DO IT!

Bene38464


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ATHENA1966's Photo ATHENA1966 Posts: 2,447
8/8/14 11:40 A

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"I don't think this change in attitude really happens for most people just by following a healthy eating plan. It comes more from daily reminders to self that this is how you WANT to live every day (not how you have to live because you want to lose a bit of weight). You have to WANT to want to change your attitude, if that makes any sense."


I completely agree. Living a healthy lifestyle is not some kind of punishment. It is a gift that we give ourselves. I often tell my nurses, "you can't take care of others if you don't take care if yourselves".

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.
Live the life you have imagined.”
~ Henry David Thoreau


“The only thing that stands between a person and what they want in life is the will to try it and the faith to believe it is possible.”
-Rich DeVos


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HOLIERTHANTHOU's Photo HOLIERTHANTHOU Posts: 123
8/8/14 9:48 A

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I plan on telling them all that there really IS a secret and that all they have to do to gain access is to give me their credit card number.

:)

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8/8/14 3:46 A

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Sherylds said: "I really want to know the secret of the people who were obese, made goal, and KEPT it off. That's the real prize."

There is no secret. I have kept off 80 pounds for many years. I happen to be a Weight Watchers Lifetime member but Weight Watchers did not have a secret that made this happen. WW is just a support group that provides their own plan for members to track their food, control portions, and eat balanced meals that will be calorie controlled, which results in weight loss if followed correctly. You can get a plan just as good, or maybe better, most anywhere, including here, for free, on Sparkpeople.

So the real question is how do we get to our goal and keep it off? It takes a determination from within to change our lifestyle and attitude about food forever. This is not the same as "willpower." Will power may get you through a day, many days, or months while you follow a diet and lose some weight. But you need to get to a point where you don't even need that much will power because of this change from within. You will WANT to make healthy food choices ever day, including not over indulging, rather than constantly feeling like you are forcing yourself to stay on a plan, or feeling that you are depriving yourself because you are not indulging, especially when those around you are indulging because it is a holiday or whatever.To me, it is not really resisting, it is just how I live every day.

I don't think this change in attitude really happens for most people just by following a healthy eating plan. It comes more from daily reminders to self that this is how you WANT to live every day (not how you have to live because you want to lose a bit of weight). You have to WANT to want to change your attitude, if that makes any sense.

I know that even many Sparkmembers glaze over when reading responses like this. Many are still looking for a more magical "secret."

In fact, as long as I have been on this board now, I mention my 80 pound weight loss from time to time, and either nobody really sees it, or few care because I don't get many comments other than a very occasional, "congrats on the weight loss."



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8/7/14 6:02 P

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Agree.....often times we already know how; we just got to get to the place to implement it. It is a lifestyle change not just dieting. It's like that one quote we periodically see on Spark People.....you got to get sick and tired or being sick and tired so you become open to change.

"One of the secrets of life is to make stepping-stones out of stumbling blocks." -- Jack Penn


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RUBYREDSTAR19's Photo RUBYREDSTAR19 Posts: 2,007
8/7/14 7:22 A

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Agree...when they are ready. Just think about yourself when you didn't want to hear the truth...what did you do? Did you listen?



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BONNIEB1947's Photo BONNIEB1947 SparkPoints: (6,686)
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8/7/14 5:56 A

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I think everyone has to come to that time when they are ready to make the choice. THEN they may really 'hear' you. Otherwise they are just thinking wistfully that maybe you know a secret you can give them that will make it quick and easy.


Never give up!


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8/7/14 12:07 A

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Of course people do (:
but typically a response like
"woshh I could never do that
but you go girl " Follows lol



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ATHENA1966's Photo ATHENA1966 Posts: 2,447
8/6/14 1:34 P

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I think they want to know how, they just don't like the answer.

“Go confidently in the direction of your dreams.
Live the life you have imagined.”
~ Henry David Thoreau


“The only thing that stands between a person and what they want in life is the will to try it and the faith to believe it is possible.”
-Rich DeVos


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BLAZINGSWORD's Photo BLAZINGSWORD SparkPoints: (19,594)
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8/6/14 1:32 P

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Most runners that I know, look great and eat crap. And in the end, they will pay for it. Jim Fixx was a great runner and wrote the book on running, but he died from a massive heart attack. Why because he ate food that is very bad for health.

So just because one exercises doesn't guarantee that you will be able to eat anything and be healthy.

The two must go hand-in-hand: eating healthy and exercising.

If you see a turtle sitting on top of a fencepost, you know he had help getting there. ~ John Maxwell

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(¸. ~ brenda . ~´¨)
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CARRIE1948's Photo CARRIE1948 Posts: 9,190
8/6/14 9:30 A

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No, I don't think most people want to know the fortitude and attention it takes to lose weight. Everyone wants what those ads in the magazines promise - take this and you don't need to exercise or change your diet and the pounds will fall off.

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There is a vitality, a life force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action. Since there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique.


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PATTIEMCD's Photo PATTIEMCD Posts: 1,047
8/5/14 12:12 P

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"Most" ppl do not want to hear what it actually took for me to lose over 50lbs. because they aren't ready to make those changes for themselves. One time, I was asked by a very overweight woman what I did to lose my weight and I said, " I quit eating like you do now".
I knew that her job keeps her pretty active daily, and if she would decrease her portions, the pounds would melt off of her. That's why I gave her that answer.




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8/5/14 11:45 A

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I don't think I excite people either. Eating generally healthy (mostly non-processed, a lot of fruits and veggies, whole grains, etc),watching portions and staying active isn't exciting. I don't follow any specific regime and I even eat dessert quite often (remember I watch my portions!)


~Kelly~

Time is EST - US/Michigan

"Food is not love, comfort, or an anxiety pill."

Time to stop trying to solve things with food (lack of included) that food won't solve. Food solves one thing: bodily hunger.

Fall 5% Challenge, Team Cloverleafs,
GW - 145.5


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MARTHA324's Photo MARTHA324 SparkPoints: (26,623)
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8/4/14 9:26 P

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Disappointed that I haven't found the magic pill... I tell them I choose healthy foods more often than not, track my food, watch my portions and exercise. I also tell them I don't diet and yes, their eyes glaze over pretty quickly



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RAYLINSTEPHENS's Photo RAYLINSTEPHENS SparkPoints: (189,711)
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8/4/14 4:40 P

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I have found that most are looking for a "magic pill" to lose the weight overnight.

Pardon the pun but, their loss.

Central Time Zone
page 39 in The Spark

I went from 210-120 in 16 months with SparkPeople!
My maintenance range is 120-125 lbs.
In Maintenance since 8/11/09!!

Lifetime Spirited Underdog!

I didn't "make it happen" the first time, I "made it happen" the last time!



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FIFIFRIZZLE's Photo FIFIFRIZZLE Posts: 1,355
8/4/14 4:11 P

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Maybe it's the proselytizing thing but maybe it's just a fear of change. There is a value in being fat & you have to be ready to give that up, no small thing!
I do think that if someone asks how you did it, they are expecting some kind of answer. And that is is perfectly ok to say how glad you are that you found a way to dump the extra weight. That doesn't seem like bragging to me, and I'm a kiwi, we are very self effacing.

Edited by: FIFIFRIZZLE at: 8/4/2014 (16:14)
Reframing my thinking to release excess weight forever.

If you always do what you always did... You always get what you always got!


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CRAMPERELLA's Photo CRAMPERELLA Posts: 675
8/4/14 1:15 P

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People generally don't like proselytizers. There is something irritating about someone who has overcome a life challenge and is now telling others they can do it too if they just become like them. Weight and health is a very personal journey with many paths to wellness. Bragging about how you did it even if it is done with genuine good intentions can reek of moral superiority and come across as judgemental to the listener. It can come across as "I'm a winner, you're a loser."

Edited by: CRAMPERELLA at: 8/4/2014 (13:17)
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COPING WITH BINGE EATING DISORDERS (BED) TEAM: CO-LEADER

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MISSRUTH's Photo MISSRUTH Posts: 3,553
8/4/14 6:29 A

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No I don't think most people really want to know. Personally, I think most of them fall into the "magic wand" category. I was sizing up a woman for a lifejacket last week, and she looks at me earnestly and says "I wish I was thin like you". And I felt compelled to reply "I'm not naturally thin. I watch what I eat, and I get some exercise." And her face just fell. She wasn't interested any more. She wanted someone to wave the magic wand and make her naturally thin. (Who knows, though. Someday when she's really ready, she may remember my comment.) I dropped the topic and started talking about the weather.


Ruth in Cookeville, TN Central Time Zone


Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think - Christopher Robin to Pooh


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SHOOPETTE's Photo SHOOPETTE SparkPoints: (89,216)
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8/4/14 5:00 A

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Same here, when people realize it takes commitment and what they've been hearing all the time they are a bit disapointed.



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FIFIFRIZZLE's Photo FIFIFRIZZLE Posts: 1,355
8/3/14 10:23 P

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Maybe you,re right about that, but I had to build and maintain my motivation, still do. For me what it took was believing it was possible, which I had pretty much given up on, having been unable to lose weight in the usual way.

Reframing my thinking to release excess weight forever.

If you always do what you always did... You always get what you always got!


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CELLA_P's Photo CELLA_P SparkPoints: (9,572)
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8/3/14 10:15 P

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Well, I guess there are plenty of "hows" out there... and the trick seems to be matching up the most appropriate "how" with the right person, and then, hoping they'll be at a point where their motivation is strong, too.



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HOLLYPOTTER's Photo HOLLYPOTTER SparkPoints: (5,554)
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8/3/14 9:48 P

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When I share the changes that I've made, I always get "Oh, I couldn't do that." Well, you've got to do something.

Potter

Someday is not a day of the week.


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FIFIFRIZZLE's Photo FIFIFRIZZLE Posts: 1,355
8/3/14 5:00 P

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I tell them, it was easy! I threw away everything I 'knew' and found something that worked for ME, and stuck with it. I dropped the weight really quickly once I got down to business, I couldn't believe how easy it was to rest my weight set point. It was like magic. And I feel so much better now.

All this is true. If anyone asks more I tell them about Sparkpeople, I talk more about what I did, and guess what ? Even though I have said, easy, quick, magic, here is a toolkit, they still react like I told them, logging food, eating less, exercising more.

The lightbulb has to WANT to change!
emoticon


Reframing my thinking to release excess weight forever.

If you always do what you always did... You always get what you always got!


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LJBRANDOK's Photo LJBRANDOK Posts: 155
8/3/14 2:54 P

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I, too, think that people ask because they want the magic cure. Very few people are interested in hearing about healthy lifestyle choices, hard work, and willpower. I noticed that I was such a huge fan of SparkPeople and was touting it to anyone who asked, that I had to scale it back a bit and not be too fanatical about it. Very few of my friends/colleagues/relatives have found the ability to take weight off and keep it off, but as someone previously mentioned here, if we influence one person, that's a great start.



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BLAZINGSWORD's Photo BLAZINGSWORD SparkPoints: (19,594)
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8/3/14 2:16 P

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I've had a couple people say, "You are looking good. Have you lost weight?" Then I tell them, "Yes, I have thank you."

Then if they ask any more questions, "I tell them that I want a good quality of life to live and that my motivation is much greater than just to lose weight. It's because my best friend, Carol, suffered with diabetes for many years and died from complications of it. That alone is enough to keep me on the narrow & straight with eating less but high quality food such as veggies & fruits along with lean meats and drinking water as my only beverage; and then walking at least almost 10,000 steps a day which is roughly 4.8 miles or so."

Then if they are truly interested and want to know more, I tell them about spark people and tell them to check it out.

If you see a turtle sitting on top of a fencepost, you know he had help getting there. ~ John Maxwell

¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸. ~ brenda . ~´¨)
(¸.·´~ (¸.·* ~ (¸.·*


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GLOBEE77's Photo GLOBEE77 Posts: 36
8/3/14 9:39 A

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Of course we would all like to have a magic pill! But it takes work....a LOT of work! Work to limit calories, eat for health and put in the time for exercise. Work to keep at it week after week to reach and/or maintain weight goals. Work to have the "can do" attitude over a long period of time. I don't believe most people don't want to hear this reality....I sure didn't.



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HOLLYM48's Photo HOLLYM48 Posts: 5,854
8/3/14 9:00 A

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They do want to know but don't always want to invest the time or give up the portion size that is way to much. Some people travel and they think that is too hard but I think with the right mind set, you can go for salads and veggies and eat within calorie range even when traveling.
I agree that people are looking for the easy way and the magic pill and the quick fix diets work for a while but they are not sustainable!

I can do it!!
Spark People are the best!


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LORNADUANE SparkPoints: (22)
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8/2/14 11:07 P

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Depends on the audience. I've learned you can eliminate most of the glazed faces by using the phrase "small changes over time." If people look crestfallen after that I let the topic drop, if they're curious still I might list small tibits at a time.



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NAYPOOIE's Photo NAYPOOIE Posts: 6,209
8/2/14 10:08 P

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Nope, they're looking for a magic pill (you must have one, you lost weight!).



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JODICODY Posts: 41
8/2/14 6:45 P

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I think people DO want a quick fix.Dand... I DO! But we all know there isn't one.We have to do this the "right" way. One of my issues is,because of my living circumstances,I get so.. depressed,I guess,that I just DON'T eat when unhealthy stuff is what's on the menu. Sometimes for days. I know I can't do this,because of my heart,but I think,What's worse? Eating "garbage" or not eating? emoticon



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JODICODY Posts: 41
8/2/14 6:36 P

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Well, I think they do.I know I sure do! emoticon



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8/2/14 2:02 P

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I always mentioned SparkPeople ("Smart People??" "No, SPARKpeople.").

When I said that I wasn't dieting but was instead just eating healthier, if I saw they were crestfallen, I knew that they were probably just looking for the quick fix. And I never looked down on that because I was in their shoes, too. I totally understand where they're coming from.

I would then tell them that for me, I was *done* dieting and I eat what I want but tend to pick healthy stuff 80% of the time, and what really kicked it up for me was eating 7-9 servings of fruits & vegetables a day.

So many people would then say, "Is that all you eat - vegetables?" or "Are you a vegetarian?"
"Noooo! I eat steak, diary, whatever I want! I just log it and try to keep it healthy."

I try to find that balance of being helpful for those who truly want help but not dwelling on it, either.

JMCCAIN4's Photo JMCCAIN4 SparkPoints: (8,598)
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8/2/14 1:41 P

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I want to give the people who ask a fair shake, though. Having been in that position all too recently, eat less and move more is NOT all there is to it. There is all the psychological stuff, like breaking habits, stopping emotional eating, gaining control over yourself, and in my personal opinion there is also some hormone balancing and detoxing that has to take place to get rid of the constant hunger for some people. So when I asked people how to lose weight and they said "eat less and move more" that was disappointing to me, because I knew that, yes, but HOW do you get yourself to do that? That's why the information in the mind over body section of this site is so important. I just had a conversation like this and actually mentioned the psychological and hormone parts. The other person seemed more satisfied with this answer. If you're not really giving them new information, of course they're going to be disappointed. Many people have deeper problems with food than just not knowing that they need to burn more calories than they eat.

You want a hot body? You better work work!


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PRESBESS's Photo PRESBESS SparkPoints: (56,872)
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8/1/14 7:38 P

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I'm chuckling over here because people act the same way when I tell them. They are not expecting that type of answer. I basicially give the same answer you give. They want to hear the "magic pill" answer. Sometimes, I also feel like they nod their head as though they get what I am saying, but, actually, they are clueless.
emoticon

Maintaining... it's what I do.


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JERALDTX's Photo JERALDTX SparkPoints: (17,884)
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8/1/14 11:09 A

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It seems everyone wants a "magic" cure... Why else would they advertise diet pills that offer "guaranteed dramatic weight loss" then you read the fine print the weight loss is only guaranteed if you follow their diet and exercise plan (which will cause you to lose weight without the miracle pill). Everyone wants it to be easy... And what you all have done sounds hard to them so they are disappointed. They just don't realize, that once you've broken the bad habits, and made those lifestyle changes that eating right and exercising actually IS easy.

Everyday in every way I'm getting better and better. -- former Chief Inspector Dreyfus
JAMIRBLAZE's Photo JAMIRBLAZE Posts: 894
7/31/14 4:06 P

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Russell hit it dead on. Most people that I know, since I have lost in stages over 10-11 years don't know me from my highest weight. I did lose 40+lbs in the last couple of years to hit maintenance, so I do get asked from time to time and give a quick answer - basically "eat less, move more."

Most people don't really want to know the details, but feel better in expressing some interest in getting healthier.



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KASTRA's Photo KASTRA Posts: 369
7/31/14 3:54 P

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When I initially showed weight loss, I was all excited and tried to share my "magic cure" (which is summed up with "don't eat so much junk and exercise more") and got those glazed looks.

After a while, I changed to what Bunnykicks and others do: Keep it short and sweet. "I stopped eating quite so much junk and exercise more," and only expand on the answer if they're truly curious. Oddly, a lot of people did want me to give more information, but then the glazed looks came back once I do.

Lately, though, I've started doing what LifeNProgress does. I just say, "I use Sparkpeople." When someone asks me to divulge more, I'm not interested in the glazed looks or the "oh, gosh, that's way too hard" comments so I say something about how it's complicated but the website will explain it all. Then I give the web address. I've passed it out to three people this week alone. I know a few that have at least checked it out.

As for whether or not people truly want to know how to lose the weight, I do not think they do - at least, not until they're truly ready. We were all there once, in that blissfully ignorant place as our waistlines grew, refusing to acknowledge that the habits we enjoyed were the cause of our problems. Only when we were ready to get serious did we forget about the easy fixes and focus on our health. Like you've seen, as soon as I mentioned that there is no medical prescription that makes it all easier, or secret piece of fitness equipment that forces me to exercise daily while making it so much more fun and relaxing than sitting on my backside, people tune out. That's why I like to just give the web address, now. They can think it's a magic fix until they look into it, and might walk away for a while once they learn it's not. But, it's there in their minds so that, when they're someday ready and realize the magic pill doesn't exist, they have a good resource to use.

Edited by: KASTRA at: 7/31/2014 (15:57)
Starting: 41.1 BMI and extremely sedentary
Current: 28.0 BMI with strength-training and low-impact cardio
Mini-goal: 29.9 BMI (about 164 lb) - DONE on 8/6/14! I'm no longer obese!
Mini-goal: 5K walk or run
Mini-goal: 24.9 BMI (about 136 lb)
Mini-goal: half-marathon walk or run
GOAL: 23 BMI (about 125 pounds), fit and active


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MANDIETERRIER1's Photo MANDIETERRIER1 Posts: 13,706
7/31/14 3:25 P

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I get that glazed over look, too. I keep my response short and sweet, but it seems like by the time I get out. Tracking my calories. Interest is lost. I didn't really cut any type of food out, but I didn't eat with reckless abandon either.

I wonder if people want to hear that I took a magic pill and lost all my weight and most of my body fat in a week

Edited by: MANDIETERRIER1 at: 7/31/2014 (15:26)
Made it to my maintenance weight of 125 pounds.

Eat what you like and if someone comments, eat them too

Please read my blog

erinwroteablogyall.blogspot.com/2014
/10/bulbs-prayers-and-faith.html


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SIMONEKP's Photo SIMONEKP Posts: 2,515
7/31/14 1:55 P

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They do, you tailor your response to your audience

Simone

"Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish." - John Quincy Adams

No matter how slow you go, you're still lapping everyone on the couch!
Source: unknown



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LIFENPROGRESS's Photo LIFENPROGRESS SparkPoints: (52,237)
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7/31/14 12:11 P

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My standard reply is:

"I joined Spark People" emoticon

I tell them about the site and let them make their own choices. What works for me may not work for them.

"Crystallize your goals. Make a plan for achieving them and set yourself a deadline. Then, with supreme confidence, determination and disregard for obstacles and other people's criticisms, carry out your plan."
~ Paul J. Meyer ~

bodynprogress.blogspot.com


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RUSSELL_40's Photo RUSSELL_40 Posts: 16,826
7/31/14 11:58 A

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First of all, we have to assume that people don't know how. That isn't true. We all know how to lose weight.. Diet & Exercise. Right?

When people ask me, I just say, Eat Right, and Work Out. If they are still listening, then they actually want more detailed instruction. 99 % of people though are just using it as conversation. Man, I wish I could lose weight, do what you did. They aren't ready to though, they just wish they were, and if they talk about it, they feel a little better.

Give them one sentence, and move on. They will feel like they discussed being healthier, and feel better about themselves as they go out to lunch at McDonald's. One day, they will be ready, and they will ask more detailed questions, like.. How do you stop yourself from eating extra calories late at night?

Always remember, that used to be you. I remember watching Biggest Loser thinking. Wow! They lost 150 lbs.!! I wish I could do that.... as I ate 10 bean burritos, a large bag of Doritos, Ben & Jerry's ice cream ( pint ), and washed it down with 2-3 liters of Pepsi. I felt good at the end though, after watching others lose weight, and thinking about it, even as I waddled to bed, with a sore stomach, struggling to breathe..lol.

So give them a SHORT, polite answer, and let them move along. When they are ready, they will do it at their own pace. Only then will they listen to advice, so why waste your breath? If it is 2 years from now, the answer will still be the same. Eat better, work out more.

"We can't solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them "

- Albert Einstein

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.”

- Henry Ford


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7/31/14 9:59 A

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Pretty much the same response-I really don't think anybody care's-it's all about them. Well I do care, as too many Spark People!!!!

KICKINGKILOS's Photo KICKINGKILOS Posts: 1,348
7/31/14 9:50 A

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I had lost 14 pounds with SP. Unfortunately, I gained it all back.

Right now I am sitting where most of the people ask 'how did you do it'.
Even though, I lost 14 lbs I cannot help myself asking people who have lost big for tips etc.

Anyhow, I agree. Many people just wish that there is no blood, sweat or tears.They don't want to buy that it is simple yet hard to do.



SW (APRIL2012) 157 POUNDS (71.2 KILOS)
SW (AUGUST2013) 143.5 pounds (65.1 KILOS)

BLC23 - Ivory Falcons

Mini GOAL 135 POUNDS (61 KILOS)
GOAL WEIGHT 124 POUNDS (56 KILOS)

It's now or never *****Determination trumps motivation

www.kickingkilos.com


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LIGNSS SparkPoints: (6,833)
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7/30/14 9:33 P

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Most people glaze over, so I'm similar to bunnykicks. I give them a short 1-2 sentences. If they are actually interested, then I tell them about sparkpeople.

Dave


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TIFFFIT's Photo TIFFFIT Posts: 353
7/30/14 6:42 P

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I'm the nurse manager of a cath lab/OR, so there are actually a lot of people here at the hospital who really DO want to know how and really DON'T want to hear "surgery" or "meds". Like others, I try to gauge real interest before I explain too much but for those who want to know I always offer to partner with them if they want to be motivated. :-)
I have a conversation starter on my office door too--a paperclip chain with one clip for each pound I've lost. As of today it's 37 clips long and people always seem, well, if not amazed, at least really surprised. THAT'S usually when the "How are you doing it?!?!?!" dialogue begins.

TL/DR: Some people really want to know, but you shouldn't say too much unless you're sure.

"I can't get there from anywhere but here."

Rewards:
[X] 2 weeks: New water bottle
[X] 1 month: New gym shoes
[X] 3 months/10% body weight: New workout clothes (still haven't bought these yet!)
[ ] Birthday: Come and gone, no idea what to get myself :-(
[X] Cool weather: new hiking stuff
[ ] ONEderland -- start planning our next major vacation!
[ ] Someday/bucket list goal: hike to Havasupai Falls (and out again...)


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TRIXYMAHOGANY's Photo TRIXYMAHOGANY SparkPoints: (9,585)
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7/30/14 5:59 P

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Someone asked me in detail today... they started with a "how do you do it?" and I just glossed over it - "Oh, just watching what I eat and hiking a lot" and then they said "But aren't you on some special diet?"

I said, "NO! I love food too much to cut anything delicious completely out of my life, I eat what I want, when I want, just not so much."

They looked sad when I said that. :)

Because your candle burns too bright, well I almost forgot it was twilight


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EELPIE's Photo EELPIE Posts: 2,669
7/30/14 4:57 P

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I have found that people only really want to hear what does not exist:

X pill or Y diet (the magic fix).

I'm like bunnykicks - I keep it really simple "I just watched how many calories a day I ate, and cut out processed foods". Most people just say "Oh, ok" and move the topic along.

If someone really wants to know...then I go into detail. Most don't. They want the magic fix.

The best exercise in the world is to bend down and help someone up.


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MISSSVJS Posts: 524
7/30/14 4:33 P

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Most people want a quick fix or a pill and once they find out what really works, it seems like they just aren't interested in doing what it takes. I've worked at my current job for a little over 3 years - no one here has ever known me when I was 50+ pounds heavier, so most are very surprised when I tell them that. But it's also one of my motivations for keeping it off!

BUNNYKICKS's Photo BUNNYKICKS Posts: 2,310
7/30/14 3:21 P

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I just take the question "how did you do it" in the same way I take the question "how're ya doing!"

In other words, it's just one of those things people say but they don't really expect a long drawn out answer.

I keep it very brief. "I cut out the fast food, I really started paying attention to portion sizes.... nothing fancy, just the old eat-less-move-more thing, ya know."

Now, if they persist with a follow up question, like "how! do you control your portion sizes!" I would give them my big special secret trick: I LOG MY FOOD. I write down what I eat. This is how i keep myself "honest" with myself and control my calorie intake.

For the really special people, I will even tell them I do all this logging online, letting them know there are sites such as Sparkpeople that make it very easy to do.

Nobody glazes over because I make them drag my "secrets" out of me. One snippet of information per question. So as soon as they stop asking probing questions, I drop the topic and move on. Because I know that at any given moment in time, most people really are NOT interested in hearing the details. The few that are, will persist with more specific questions. There's been a precious few people in the past 18 months that I've had more than a 5 minute conversation with, about all-things-weight-loss.

Goal 1 - break 200 (46 pounds lost)**DONE**
Goal 2 - leave obesity behind (BMI 29.9, at 185#) **DONE**
Goal 3 - BMI = Normal (154# or less)


 current weight: 164.0 
 
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SHERYLDS's Photo SHERYLDS Posts: 12,066
7/30/14 2:21 P

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I think when people see someone after they have lost a substantial amount of weight they normally ask ..HOW.
Some are hoping you will give them some magic formula that will make it easy.
Some sound like they are doing a poll and
Some are curious if you used gastric bypass or lipo.
When you mention diet and exercise, they glaze over.
I really want to know the secret of the people who were obese, made goal, and KEPT it off. That's the real prize.

Sheryl from New Jersey, USA... EST


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FIELDWORKING's Photo FIELDWORKING SparkPoints: (24,666)
Fitness Minutes: (48,929)
Posts: 679
7/30/14 11:45 A

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I haven't had anyone ask me questions about how I lost weight. I think people notice, but most of the people that I interact with are either more fit (and eat healthier) than me or they are on the other end (could stand to lose a few pounds but don't ask questions). I know that for me, I started out making small changes to the way that I ate and started working out. I am now at a point to where I have to restrict my calories even more or workout even harder for longer to lose the rest of the weight (or get into a job that is physically demanding).



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ICEDEMETER's Photo ICEDEMETER Posts: 816
7/30/14 10:37 A

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I've had a lot of friends ask me, and they don't seem to "glaze over" until I mention that I made changes that I'll have to keep up for the rest of my life.

The idea that it's not just a quick-fix and done just doesn't seem to hold much appeal...

Start weight: 240 lbs
Goal weight: 155 lbs (reached March 7, 2014)
Revised Goal weight: 150 lbs (reached May 27, 2014)

Afraid of a colonoscopy? Believe me - they are much less frightening than surgery and chemotherapy.

Colonoscopies allow polyps to be removed before they can become cancer, or let cancers be found before they are too widespread. If you are 50 or older, or have any symptoms, please don't let fear stop you from covering your butt.

Get checked!


 current weight: -5.0  under
 
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TRIPLEMWF's Photo TRIPLEMWF Posts: 843
7/30/14 10:21 A

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Sometimes I do. I'm in a private facebook group with a bunch of other Moms, and a few of them have been very interested in my progress, now, whether or not they are willing to take the plunge into a wheat free / moderate low carb diet is a completely different story :)

You'll never regret the workout you do, only the one you don't.


 current weight: 200.6 
 
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RENATARUNS's Photo RENATARUNS SparkPoints: (3,758)
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7/30/14 10:10 A

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I tend to get the same sort of reaction. People seem to expect some sort of fancy diet; or if not that, they think I lost weight with exercise only, since I've been athletic for much of my life. (And since that is so common a misconception, that losing with exercising alone is practical.)

I say something along the lines of "I ate a lot less than I was used to for a while, I all but stopped eating junk food, and I've kept doing pretty much the same thing since, with a few more calories. Oh, and I walked a bunch." And that's pretty much the end of the conversation.

Height 5'8 1/2"
SW: 190+
CW: 139.0 (trying to regain back to low/mid 140s after IBS problems)

5K 4/21/11: 31:55


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JUSTEATREALFOOD's Photo JUSTEATREALFOOD Posts: 1,288
7/30/14 9:52 A

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I was lucky enough to catch my weight gain early on so I never had a lot to lose. People do ask me how I stay in such good shape though.

The answer isn't flashy or easy.

Eat tons of vegetables, some fruit, meats, healthy fats everyday and enjoy the occasional treat. Prepare your own foods so you know whats in it, while avoiding takeout and processed foods. Lift heavy things and move a lot.

Yes some people do glaze over but most are really interested in my response.

Even if your response only impacts 1 person out of 100, it's worth it IMO.

JERF - Just Eat Real Food


I'm a Certified Personal Trainer.

I eat mostly vegetables, fats, meats, some fruit and dark chocolate. Unprocessed and preservative free. And it's changed my life!

5'4"
Goal weight 125lbs
36 years old
2 kids

Keeping my blood sugar levels low on my high fat/ low carb/ moderate protein diet.


Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection we can catch excellence.

- Vince Lombardi


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PSCHIAVONE2's Photo PSCHIAVONE2 SparkPoints: (18,611)
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Posts: 513
7/30/14 9:25 A

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I have people ask me how to loose weight. Especially the people who knew me at 242 pounds. They usually ask very enthusiastically. It is funny, but when I start to go into what I am doing I notice their faces just glaze over and some walk away disappointed. I do not use a special diet just the food journal and limiting my overall calories for the week. How do people react when they ask about your success?

Weight is the result of what you have been doing for the past week.


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