I figured out a way that I can track my food but not stress myself over it. I have stopped tracking as I go. I keep track of everything but I don't put it in the tracker until the end of the day. That way I can't see the number increasing and cut myself back. Then at the end of the day I put everything in the tracker and see how I did for that day. So far this has helped me to increase the number of calories I am taking in and caused less anxiety over the number. Once it is eaten there is no going back so I have to just accept it for what it is.
Thank you all for your advice. This is something I have dealt with since high school and the good thing is that I know the signs that I am going too far. The purpose of my post was to try to snap myself back to reality. Although I still get a tight feeling in my chest when I see the higher numbers I am reminding myself that it is what is best for me and the last few days I have done better. Not tracking is not really an option either. My problem is that I will go to both extremes and if I don't track I will either only eat once a day or I will eat more often thinking I am eating small portions but eventually they creep up. Before I know it I am right back where I started. I will continue to work to make sure I am eating enough and doing this weight loss thing the right way.
Having been in the same boat as you, I can say this: if you're still on the road to recovery, tracking your meals and seeing the numbers can be HIGHLY triggering, and probably isn't the ideal. I do second the other opinions: seek a specialist, but also from personal experience, I know that's hard to do, for a variety of reasons - all of which I've also felt numerous times over the years.
I realize that you might be looking at my tracker and thinking 'wtf'. But that's another story entirely - and another reason I was loathe to get help when I needed it. "She's not skinny enough to be sick". I probably wasn't at the time - though I was MUCH thinner than I am now - but I was sick. And I got myself some help. :)
It's good that you're reaching out, and if you're reaching out then you're recognizing the triggers. It's always possible to us the community of Spark People without using the tracker - perhaps that might be something you could do. Or try to challenge yourself to meet your calorie goals -both- ways. Don't go over, don't go under.
I hope you do seek help and you feel better soon.
This is my body and it's fine. It's where I spend the vast majority of my time. It's not perfect. But it's mine. --
current weight: 268.0
Fitness Minutes: (5,730)
2,344 7/19/14 8:27 P
I encourage you to seek an eating disorder specialist and NOT try to control your consumption on your own. I encourage you to look at the physical (anxiety due to brain chemistry) aspects as well as the emotional with either a psychiatrist or a doctor of eastern medicine who approach the condition from all angles.
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16
current weight: 105.0
Fitness Minutes: (33,757)
22,227 7/19/14 6:47 P
I ditto the suggestion with working with a counselor. Your Dr will be able to refer you to someone who specializes in eating issues.
As well as Becky's suggestions, putting a handful of nuts into your pocket and just nibbling on them throughout the day should help. Another thought, too, is to swap some water for some milk with some banana, strawberries etc., whizzed into it.
Have you worked with a counselor in the past? This would be a good place to begin.
Often it can help to remove yourself from calorie counting and instead make a plan that for each lunch and dinner you need to include: ---4 ounces of lean meat ---a fruit serving --a veggie serving --a grain or starchy vegetable --a cup of milk or yogurt (or save for a snack)
Do a similar plan for your breakfast.
This will assure that you are at about 1200-1300 calories daily---but with no counting of calories.
If you're feeling guilt and anxiety about eating the sustenance your body needs, you may want to see your doctor and ask for a referral to a therapist. If the numbers are having that kind of an impact, I'm certain there are methods of regulating your weight without focusing on a number that brings about anxiety.
How do you feel and do if you do not count calories but focus on just portions? For instance, do you get that way if you just do the bikini plate method?
Starting: 41.1 BMI and extremely sedentary Current: 28.0 BMI with strength-training and low-impact cardio Mini-goal: 29.9 BMI (about 164 lb) - DONE on 8/6/14! I'm no longer obese! Mini-goal: 5K walk or run Mini-goal: 24.9 BMI (about 136 lb) Mini-goal: half-marathon walk or run GOAL: 23 BMI (about 125 pounds), fit and active
I am someone who has had eating issues in the past and still struggle sometimes to meet my calorie goals. When tracking my food I get a little paniced when I see the number creeping up. For about a week now I have had trouble even getting to 1000 calories for the day. I am starting to feel it during my workouts as well. I got light headed today while doing some ab work and had to take a break. I did eat breakfast and was drinking water but I still found it difficult to really push myself this morning. I'll just be honest and tell you, for the last three days my calories have hovered around 750-900.
I know that this is not the way to lose weight but I can't seem to bring myself to eat more. I keep telling myself that it will be better after I hit my goal. There is a part of my brain that thinks this is true but I know that it really isn't. The number on the scale is going down and it just makes it harder for me to stop.
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