I'm not great with new people/situations but one of the best strategies I've found is to keep asking questions. People love talking about themselves so if you ask someone about what they do, what they're interested in, where they grew up, etc they'll start talking about it and soon you'll have a genuine conversation. Luckily, the BF is very extroverted so he forges ahead and I can tag along until I feel comfortable.
I would have to invite them to a restaurant, my place is way too small! they also live 5 hours away so it would have to be some time in the future. It wouldn't matter though - small gathering or large, I'd be very anxious because I don't know them.
I don't usually drink alcohol, but having a glass of water or something like that in my hand that I can sip on is helpful in those kinds of situations.
I am fairly introverted. Small talk with a bunch of strangers is something that I don't get and I get bored by. I'm also fairly private and slower to warm up to people. I get overwhelmed by large groups of people. I am not incapable of being social just some situations work better for me than others. I enjoy smaller, quieter dinner parties much more than a large gathering with loud music and people moving around a lot. I went to a graduation party for one of dh's family members last weekend and sat sipping lemonade without talking most of the time. I was fine with that. I stayed away from the food table and just had my drink for an hour or two. I came home and took a nap.
Maybe you should invite your ds's girlfriend's parents over for a quieter dinner to get to know them better if you'd like.
I think at my next physical i am going to mention this to my doctor (I also don't like calling to make appointments - it takes me a couple months of procrastinating or hair appointments (I go 12-18 months). even when i know they are nice people, i have a lot of anxiety.
I am really lucky that I have 3 best friends now...I didn't ask for them them, but they were too nice for too long and I love them now and can't imagine life without them!
Like you, I tend to be shy or standoffish in person. My best friend in high school was killed in an auto accident, and I've just never really clicked with anyone else on more than a casual acquaintance basis other than my husband. I do not actively avoid people, but I keep busy doing other things and just do not go out of my way to make close relationships with anyone other than family.
Forced social situations like that get me anxious, so I either rely on someone I know to take the lead so I can hang back, or I make excuses and slip away either to a more quiet area or leave entirely. My husband is a social butterfly, so he's good about carrying conversations I'm drawn into and helping me make a quiet escape without anyone noticing.
It's not a lot of help, most likely...but that's what I do. Thankfully I'm not a fan of wine and I cannot hold liquor worth a darn (half a glass of any alcohol will have me swinging from a chandelier!) so I avoid any alcoholic beverages unless I'm in a very controlled situation around people that won't judge me too harshly for the dumb things I'll say and do!
Starting: 41.1 BMI and extremely sedentary Current: 28.0 BMI with strength-training and low-impact cardio Mini-goal: 29.9 BMI (about 164 lb) - DONE on 8/6/14! I'm no longer obese! Mini-goal: 5K walk or run Mini-goal: 24.9 BMI (about 136 lb) Mini-goal: half-marathon walk or run GOAL: 23 BMI (about 125 pounds), fit and active
I am a rather shy person. I did not have a best friend since high school until I was about 38, it takes me a long time to warm up to people and I just don't do well with people I don't know. I'm fine at work, grocery store etc. it's the intimate relationships I pull back from.
So, my son's new girlfriend invited us to a graduation reception. Her family is super nice but I was feeling so out of place. My son even said if I could come up with an excuse I could leave.
I had half a glass of wine and was able to relax a little. I also hung out at the young adult table which also really helped. Eventually her parents came over to talk to me...it was a lot of effort!
Anyway i ate too much, had a glass of wine and went home and had a light dinner followed by cookies.
I was just so wiped out that my will power was gone. I am so amazed by how at ease some people are in this kind of situation!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My daughter was a little fatigued as well and when we got home we just read books until bedtime.
Anyway, just coming clean about my day off my life eating plan. I don;t feel guilty, just surprised how much I needed a glass of wine and food to keep me from focusing on my discomfort. And how wine leads to more food later.
How do you all handle situations where you are very uncomfortable?
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