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LILSPARKGIRL's Photo LILSPARKGIRL Posts: 2,740
5/5/14 1:17 P

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I admit I was thoughtless to my son about his eating habits. He says he is allergic to dairy. He had dairy his entire life with no issues. So one week he will have no dairy and the next he will have cheese and ice cream. Then he said he is on a training diet and couldn't eat any food I had cooked but was having a sandwich with cheese and vegetables.

I asked how he could be on a training diet and be eating non whole grain bread (after he was bashing not having choices). He was so mad at me!

So I do understand how saying something thoughtless can happen. I have a young adult who makes up rules as he goes along (based on what is in the fridge). I apologized and asked him to just leave me a shopping list every Friday to accommodate his needs.

He is very athletic and lean. I don't understand why he is worried about what he eats, but as his mom i want him to feel comfortable grabbing something out of the fridge without my snippy comments.


1st Goal: 18lbs by June 1 - Met goal on 4/28

2nd Goal: Onederland by July 31



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MARTHA324's Photo MARTHA324 SparkPoints: (26,423)
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5/5/14 11:54 A

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For the most part I ignore it or say something like "yes, and I'm going to enjoy it too!"
For me, no food is off limits although some I choose not to eat often or rarely. Fortunately I don't much care what others say; - it's what I say and do that counts!

congrats on your loss! emoticon



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EMPRESSAMQ's Photo EMPRESSAMQ Posts: 5,077
5/5/14 11:06 A

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I think everyone has people criticizing them for whatever reasons, including eating style.

I used to be more sensitive to those kinds of things.

Now I just consider the source and go on my merry way.

Moving in new directions.


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DOODLES1013 SparkPoints: (15,884)
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5/5/14 8:48 A

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VAINVT Posts: 1,148
5/5/14 6:45 A

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My health is what is most important to me, and if others look at things differently, then that's just another part of life where we exist with different points of view.

DOODLES1013 SparkPoints: (15,884)
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5/5/14 2:16 A

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I often get negative remarks on the food I eat. My response " health care is expensive" so I make changes that can keep me healthy, add exercise and lose some weight in the process. "then I say, see how good I look in my new dress" emoticon

SLIMMERKIWI's Photo SLIMMERKIWI SparkPoints: (132,092)
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5/5/14 1:18 A



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I have had those sorts of comments lots. I just tell them it is about balance. Mostly healthy choices; mostly good portion control; and not practicing deprivation. Then I add that it is obviously working - 27kg lost and my bloods are coming back bang-on!

Kris

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IMREITE's Photo IMREITE SparkPoints: (249,608)
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5/5/14 1:00 A

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i tend to get compliments. i pack my lunch and i share my tips with others. if they tell me they have an allergy or a dietery constraint i dont bother them about it. i suggest an alternative or another option.

Don't forget to be awesome.


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COFFEEQUEEEN's Photo COFFEEQUEEEN SparkPoints: (16,673)
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5/4/14 11:21 P

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Vegan Queens unite! Ha ha

emoticon




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BHENDRICK2's Photo BHENDRICK2 Posts: 867
5/4/14 10:42 P

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emoticon

http://www.terrorsofmen.com/ the website of the most inspiring man i know


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QUEEN-EYDIE's Photo QUEEN-EYDIE Posts: 10,248
5/4/14 9:14 P

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CoffeeQueeen, I'm vegan and have heard it all. Let them say what they will and stay strong.

"Optimism is an act of bravery."

"Choices, not sacrifices."


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COFFEEQUEEEN's Photo COFFEEQUEEEN SparkPoints: (16,673)
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5/4/14 9:07 P

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Try being a gluten free vegan! Everyone makes jokes about my food and talks crap. It gets old. People should mind their own damn business!!! Seriously!

Just do your thing!



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QUEEN-EYDIE's Photo QUEEN-EYDIE Posts: 10,248
5/4/14 10:09 A

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I don't allow anyone to derail my program. As long as I'm feeling good, looking healthy, all my numbers are good, then anyone who has anything negative to say is just being nasty. I've gotten the snarky comments, the weird back-handed compliments, and even been attacked outright, and I've prevailed.

Can you tell I feel strongly about this? emoticon

"Optimism is an act of bravery."

"Choices, not sacrifices."


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MTN_KITTEN's Photo MTN_KITTEN SparkPoints: (31,505)
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5/2/14 2:20 P

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It would be great if when we choose to change something, anything about our lives ... our loved ones would support us. For many of us we have lost and gained and lost and gained and our loved ones don't know if we are coming or going.

Dieticians and nutritionists don't even agree on how to eat to lose weight nor do physical trainers agree on the "right" exercises and cardio.

We have to make our own decisions and follow through. Our loved ones will get the message the more consistent we are. I say something like "thank you for caring, I am doing what is best for me". Some get the message ... others don't.

Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...
it's about learning how to dance in the rain.


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1JOLLYPOLLY's Photo 1JOLLYPOLLY Posts: 58
5/2/14 1:38 P

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That is one of my triggers too. The other one is if people start to comment that I am looking good. Both make me want to stuff my face!

~Everything happens for a reason, just Believe.


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NOGOINGBACKNOW's Photo NOGOINGBACKNOW SparkPoints: (2,000)
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5/2/14 1:32 P

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This has always been a big mental block for me. Every time that criticism started, I would binge. It became a serious fear for me, and I couldn't ever let go of it. Until I stopped caring about what they thought. When they started asking why I was eating a burger and fries and ask where the diet went, I'd say it's not a diet. It's a lifestyle. And in order to keep it healthy, when I crave something like a cheeseburger and fries I allow myself to have it. Because honestly, if I don't a week later I'll eat four.
I think it really does have to a lot to do with being able to be honest, and reply to their criticisms with facts.

EELPIE's Photo EELPIE Posts: 2,669
5/2/14 10:07 A

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This is probably the biggest example of why you shouldn't discuss "dieting" with anyone but your significant other.

Those around me have seen my weight loss and change of eating habits...they figured out that correlation themselves, I never said a word except that "I'm trying change eating habits so they are healthier."

Now I get comments like "I see you eating all those veggies, you really lost weight". To which I respond "Yeah, and I feel really good". End of discussion.

Then, if someone is curious and asks....then I explain what I did (without proselytizing). "Yeah I just started keeping track of my calorie intake, cut out processed foods, and drink a ton water". That's it. Lol...I haven't even told anyone about this website (for weight loss). All I say is that I joined a website that is about healthy eating and nutrition (to track my calories), I never say I joined SP to lose weight.

Most times...friends, co-workers, cousins, etc. either don't understand (make erroneous judgements/comments), or sometimes are jealous, leading to snide remarks.

The best exercise in the world is to bend down and help someone up.


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SCOTTIEOWNER SparkPoints: (7,107)
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5/2/14 9:52 A

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I think people who nag and criticize do it because they are unable to put their weight issues in control and the fact that I can is difficult for them to admit they can't. I find it to be mostly an envy problem. For most, it's all or nothing and "everything in moderation" doesn't register. If I have a cookie, you can bet I have factored that into my numbers for the day. I don't bother to explain, it doesn't do any good anyway so why waste my time and effort.

GOLDLILIKOI Posts: 55
5/2/14 9:38 A

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Yup! I've dealt with MANY of those, especially when I started my vegetarian lifestyle. All of a sudden EVERYONE I knew was an dietitian or nutritionist and were telling me I wasn't putting enough protein in my body. That 1.5 yrs of vegetarianism were the best times for me...I became more creative in the kitchen, I lost excess weight, I was in top shape, my face was clear, and I had a lot of energy despite of sleepless nights sometimes.

To tell you the truth, I fell off the wagon back in November when I went on a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Europe. Ever since I got back from vacation, I've been trying to go back to vegetarianism b/c ever since I stopped, I've been feeling sluggish, gained weight and my face started to get spots.

Bottom line: DON'T LISTEN TO THOSE PEOPLE. No one needs negative thoughts when you're trying to become a better person for yourself. When you start paying attention and listening to people's BS, you only hurt yourself with your decisions.

Good luck and YOU GO GIRL!

LAURELTOO SparkPoints: (564)
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5/2/14 9:27 A

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This is just me but I refuse to discuss personal things like that with people. In my experience if you try to defend yourself or explain to them why you're doing something it doesn't change their minds, it just allows them to see that your choices are subject to debate. But with that being said, if people whose opinions you respect are saying you're not eating enough I think its worth evaluating your diet to be sure that you are eating enough.

I think a lot of people have a very distorted idea of a good weight though. I know a guy who recently lost about ten pounds. He is still overweight, around 230 he said, but the ten pounds definitely were noticeable and he looked good having lost them. His family though (all overweight, as am I) went crazy and said he was wasting away, looked terrible, etc. Their idea of a healthy weight has been so distorted by what they see around them that they don't seem to be able to see what a healthy weight actually is.

Edit: If this is rambling I apologize. I'm still on my cup of coffee ;)

Edited by: LAURELTOO at: 5/2/2014 (09:28)
JENNA3's Photo JENNA3 SparkPoints: (41,072)
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5/2/14 9:02 A

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I think the best thing to do is sit them down and have a talk. Tell them that you might appreciate their concern, but your health plan is between you and your medical professional. Then ask them to please stop judging your eating habits.

I went through this with my sister back at Thanksgiving and it was sooo annoying. She asked what I had changed and I told her. Her comments were, "Well I wouldn't think THAT would be on your plan." My answer, "And yet my doctor thought it fit perfectly. I think I'll stick with her assessment." Even though she didn't listen when we had our little talk, I just ignored every comment she made about food after that. She eventually got tired of talking to the air.

Hope it gets better for you soon.



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MISSRUTH's Photo MISSRUTH Posts: 3,550
5/2/14 7:10 A

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Basically-- I'd have to say that unless people have specifically "studied up" on good nutrition, calorie requirements, food labels, etc-- a lot of them really have no clue. I have a friend who is convinced that if you're on a "diet" it's okay to skip breakfast and lunch and eat less than 1000 calories a day, even if it's fried food or crap. A lot of people seem to think it's necessary to always eat salad, to lose weight. And never eat any kind of junk or a treat food. Not even in moderation.

So I take the comments about how I eat, with a grain of salt (figuratively, because I watch my sodium). They mean well, but just don't *really* know what they're talking about. And when I eat something like your example of a burger and fries... I just say something along the lines of "This is okay every once in a while-- it's within my calorie range for the day." I try to help educate them a little bit, without ever lecturing or launching into a lengthy explanation of anything.

Gradually over a long period of time, as they saw me lose the weight and now maintain for a couple years, they've seen me eat mostly healthy choices, with the occasional fried food or sugary stuff or junk food thrown in there. In moderation. And they've gotten the message-- I eat healthy, but I also eat other stuff. Just not all the time, not every day, not in large quantities.

Ruth in Cookeville, TN Central Time Zone


Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think - Christopher Robin to Pooh


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BETTERME8913's Photo BETTERME8913 SparkPoints: (5,341)
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5/2/14 12:36 A

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Let it go in one ear and out the other. You are the one losing all the weight. You should be telling them how to eat, and not them telling you. Just keep being an example of how it's done. emoticon You go girl! emoticon Your doing great!!!



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ALGEBRAGIRL Posts: 1,713
5/2/14 12:09 A

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I just pretend I didn't hear it and go on with another topic.

CORTNEY-LEE's Photo CORTNEY-LEE SparkPoints: (53,181)
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5/1/14 11:49 P

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I get the "OMG you eat THAT" comment a lot...

my response?

"Eat what? I am not eating anything... what you are seeing is an illusion, a figment of your imagination"

but you have to say it in a low "Vincent Price" type of voice







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JLAMING263's Photo JLAMING263 Posts: 1,492
5/1/14 10:04 P

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Jim Laming


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CALLMECARRIE's Photo CALLMECARRIE Posts: 1,598
5/1/14 8:15 P

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It's hard to fathom how people think those comments will be helpful, but these are all good suggestions below. I usually say the same thing, something along the lines of "I know what I'm doing."

"I owe everything you see here to spaghetti."

-Sophia Loren


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LILSPARKGIRL's Photo LILSPARKGIRL Posts: 2,740
5/1/14 3:43 P

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"There’s really no reason for you to be concerned. I got this.”, seems like a good response.

1st Goal: 18lbs by June 1 - Met goal on 4/28

2nd Goal: Onederland by July 31



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VEG_GIRL04's Photo VEG_GIRL04 Posts: 770
5/1/14 1:51 P

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It's always amazing to me - when I first start back into SP - I get comments about "diet food" and/or "rabbit food" and how they just couldn't do it. When I start really noticeably losing weight- then it sometimes turns into "well Abby doesn't eat anything" or "I can't believe you can't just treat yourself on your plan", "You better watch how often you're undereating!" It always amazes me...and they can just can't fathom - that sometimes I do treat myself (just not right in front of them or with what they WANT me to treat myself with), that my "rabbit food" is something I've eaten for 14 years as a vegetarian, and that my calories are daily where they are supposed to be.

I agree with what another poster stated that sometimes arming them with the knowledge you have helps. Tell them where your tracker is for the day, where it was yesterday. And every once in a while I get a little snarky and ask them if they know if they are over or under eating today. :-)

"If you're going through hell, keep going!" - Winston Churchill


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SIMPLELIFE2's Photo SIMPLELIFE2 Posts: 707
5/1/14 1:35 P

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Just politely but firmly tell them that your food choices are a personal choice. You don't comment on what they eat and you would appreciate the same respect. If they bring it up again, remind them it's not up for discussion and change the subject. They'll soon tire of it.

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EELPIE's Photo EELPIE Posts: 2,669
5/1/14 10:48 A

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Do you track your calories? I ask because that knowledge is how I would handle it.

I would say (with a smile) "Yesterday I ate 1700 calories. So far today I've had 1000. I'm totally in my healthy range, thank you very much".

Each and every time.

No one can dispute or argue numbers like they can for a piece of pizza or a hoagie or a salad or an apple.

The best exercise in the world is to bend down and help someone up.


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BITTERQUILL's Photo BITTERQUILL Posts: 1,370
5/1/14 10:43 A

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Ignoring it sometimes isn't enough. Tell them politely that it's really none of their business, and the commentary isn't helping you anyway. If you have the time and resources, bring a few months' worth of reports to your doctor or a nutritionist and have them look at it. If they are comfortable with your habits, friends and family members should be as well.

That said, *sometimes* our loved ones notice potentially dangerous behaviors even when we do not. Years ago, my then-future husband could tell that I was being too calorically restrictive even when I thought I was doing fine. Turned out he was right, but I didn't really notice until the behaviors became more extreme. But if you know you are being healthy and getting plenty of good nutrition and exercise, sometimes all you can do is tell them that their comments are neither helpful nor accurate, and hope they will take you seriously.

Maybe try to get them involved with your meal planning and exercise regime. Even if they don't take you up on it, if they see that you are willing to be open about it, they are more likely to believe that you aren't doing anything excessive.

OKAPI6699's Photo OKAPI6699 Posts: 114
5/1/14 10:38 A

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I had to deal with that as well and the best thing for me to do was to ignore them. They don't know what is going on with your body or what you eat when they're not there. Do what is best for you and ignore everything else. You can try explaining to them why you are eating what you're eating, that might help them understand.
Good luck and congratulations on all the success



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CAPTATHLETICA's Photo CAPTATHLETICA SparkPoints: (3,133)
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5/1/14 10:12 A

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Hey all! I started losing weight last October. When the weight loss began to become real noticeable, people would start criticizing what I ate. For example if I decided to eat a burger and frys one day they'd be like "OMG YOU ACTUALLY EAT THAT? WHAT HAPPENED TO THE DIET?" Just little comments like that. I ignored it, lost more weight. I'm starting to now overcome my habit of over eating as crazy as that might sound. Although I lost over 70 pounds I still over ate out of habit. I now am getting better at eating slowly so I can tell when I'm full, thus I don't eat nearly as much.

I'm now trying to figure out how to deal with these same people when they tell me I need to eat more and that I'm starving myself. Believe me, I eat when I'm hungry. I'm 6 ft and 210 pounds so I'm not a twig either. They just get so ugly about it I think because they want to lose weight but don't have the patience or drive to do it correctly and rely on pills.

Take it one day at a time. :)


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