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help with willpower?



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FOUNDER3
FOUNDER3's Photo Posts: 5,365
4/5/14 12:08 P

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Thanks, you certainly have had a lot of health issues. Prayers for you to get better really soon.

It does seem as though we have had a lot of the same physical issues. I have to say I feel lucky in that all of my health problems are structural. I understand how terrible Lupus is. That is a pretty tough disease to live with.

I too would be glad to talk from time to time.

If you want, just send me a Spark Mail, and we can chat.

Thanks again for the support.

God Bless.

I love the Turkey References! LOL

Bonnie

Toledo, Ohio, USA TIMEZONE 0. we do go on daylight savings time in the summer.

Co leader 50+ members with 10-24 pounds to lose


"LIfe is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain,"

One day at a time, we CAN do anything!


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12345AV
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4/5/14 11:51 A

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Hi again! It sounds like we have more in common than I thought! Being housebound has become a problem for me as well. I too have had many surgeries, 9 so far, 2 of them knee replacements, 2 hip replacements. I'm finding it hard to get back in a "routine"-mainly because I have Lupus, and one thing I've learned is as soon as I get used to something, I can expect a flare-up! If you ever need someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on, I'm a good listener. Be good to yourself and don't let the turkeys get you down! hahaha!



FOUNDER3
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4/4/14 2:00 P

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Thank you so much for your response. When I think about it logically, I realize that the main reason I was upset, was for someone to be so flip about something that is a problem for me.

The other reason is that for all of these years, I have relied on the threads here on Spark People to get me through the tough times. The people on the threads have always been supportive whether or not they understood my concerns.

I have been incapacitated so much, and housebound so much that it has meant such a great deal to me to have that support and understanding.

I suspect that I am too tender and sensitive about some things.

I am still struggling with becoming physically active after the knee surgeries, and it is frustrating. I want to be able to get back to living my life again.

After my back surgery, I considered that once I was healed from that, I could continue to build a normal life where I did not have to stop exercising every six months or so because my back was so bad that the doctors said "stop". That would usually last for a good 2 to 3 months. I was sure I could continue on my road to good health.

When my knees went, it seemed like a very cruel joke. I did what had to be done, and now I am praying that I can truly get back into my exercise routines without having more issues.

I am sorry that I overreacted, I am feeling vulnerable at this time. I apologize for being so sensitive.

Thanks again for your support and understanding.

Bonnie

Toledo, Ohio, USA TIMEZONE 0. we do go on daylight savings time in the summer.

Co leader 50+ members with 10-24 pounds to lose


"LIfe is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain,"

One day at a time, we CAN do anything!


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12345AV
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4/4/14 11:44 A

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Hang in there! I read about all your health issues over the years (I too have had too many health issues too list) and I've learned that even our friends and family, who have our best intentions at heart, can never really understand what we're going through and how it affects us, so I try not to let the opinions of people I don't even know upset me in any way. I know, and I have a feeling you do too, that what we've experienced has made us stronger and I won't let anyone think otherwise. I think you've done great, hang in there! When I was in the hospital once, some sent me a get well card. I often think of that particular card when I'm feeling down or misunderstood. It was a drawing of a bunch of animals, laying on their backs, but they were covered with turkey's (the turkey's were standing on them). And it read as follows "Never let the turkeys get you down". It made me laugh then, and when I begin to feel down, I think of that card and burst of laughing (what most call lol now). Have a wonderful day & don't let the turkeys get you down! hahahahaha! P.S. I am not referring to anyone who has posted anything on this site-this is just something that happened to me that I am re-telling and has no reference to anyone or anything I have read here.



FOUNDER3
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4/2/14 1:56 P

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DECLARE

I am offended by your remarks to me. Just saying "no offense", does not take the sting out of your words and your attitude.

If you will notice, I spoke of the "lose skin" at the same time I was mentioning that I was working on concentrating on my health.

You have no idea what I have been going through for the past 4 or 5 years. I have had an extremely bad back since I was quite young. I inherited my father's bad back, and bad knees. BTW, he is very thin, and active, but has still had knee surgery and major pain issues all of his life from his back and knees.

I have doctored with my GP and my chiropractor for many years, and they kept me going as long as they could.

In February of 2011, my back gave way completely, and I had 5 herniated discs. My surgeon told me that I had the worst back he had ever seen. A 6 hour 4 level fusion was done on Oct 2, 2011, and it took over a year to heal. I still have to be very careful of the discs above my surgery, but I am doing much better.

Because my knees were bone on bone, and had adapted to the crooked back, once my back was straight, both knees had to be totally replacement.

In Aug, 2013, and then in Oct 2013, I had first my left knee and then my right knee replaced.

I worked very hard on my Physical Therapy, and my recovery. I am beginning to be able to get around much better, but I still have pain.

I have had 3 major surgeries, with the attendant surgery drugs, along with pain meds, within the time period from Oct 2011 to Oct 2013 through recovery to date.

It has been a very rough ride, but I have worked hard to keep myself from gaining back all of the weight I had lost, and to keep a good attitude as best I am able

This is the first time in all of my years on SP that I have felt judged for my feelings. I have always felt that the threads here were to be nonjudgemental, and that the purpose is to be supportive of all.

I guess I was wrong.





Bonnie

Toledo, Ohio, USA TIMEZONE 0. we do go on daylight savings time in the summer.

Co leader 50+ members with 10-24 pounds to lose


"LIfe is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain,"

One day at a time, we CAN do anything!


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HOCKEYMOM5683
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3/24/14 7:52 A

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My tough time to keep my willpower going is between 330 and 930. I am finding that keeping my calorie intake fairly low in the early part of the day allows me to eat a late afternoon snack and decent dinner but still staying in my calorie limits and then I make sure I end the night with a cup of tea. Although I am sometimes still "craving" an ice cream sandwich or anything, really, the tea is my message that the eating is done for the night. For some reason it has really helped me keep from raiding the fridge during one of my evening shows. I also try to visualize how I will look and feel in white jeans. I am a long way off from wearing them, but it gives me something to strive for.



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KEMCARDS
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3/22/14 10:49 A

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I have a really hard time with willpower, too. And recently I read something that said that when it comes to weight loss, you get what you expect. If you want to lose 30 lbs but in the past have only managed to lose 5 before you derailed and gave up, then around the 5 lb mark this time, you will subconsciously sabotage yourself.

I realized that because I have felt so out of control with eating over the past 10 years, I don't honestly expect to be able to reduce my calorie intake at all, or lose ANY pounds. So...I decided to set other goals that I hope will help me feel more confident and give me a chance to "strengthen my willpower muscle." E.g. exercising - seeing myself accomplish that, in the future when I say "I can't stop myself from eating this, it's too yummy" or "I can't eat so little, I can't tolerate the hunger" I'll be able to remind myself, "you forced yourself to get to the gym 4 times a week for three months, this is no harder." It means postponing my goals of weight loss, but at least I am doing healthy things for myself. And doing other things to take care of myself seems to reduce (although not eliminate) my compulsive cravings, so now I occasionally say "I don't love this chocolate bar - I think I'll throw the other half away." In the past, I couldn't do that.

You have to figure out what works for you, but this was a new way of thinking about things for me, so I wanted to share. Good luck!



DECLARE74
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3/20/14 11:45 P

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I'm not sure I believe in willpower - I do believe in won't power though :-) I won't give up, I won't keep behaving the same and expect a different result, I won't spend another decade feeling blah ...

Now about the willpower thing don't wait for will power to arrive make a plan and stick to it - don't wait for "inspiration" inspire yourself with a pros and cons list. Surround yourself with as many positive and healthy role models as you can. Replace bad habits one by one with good ones an NEVER GIVE UP

As to the original question - re testing - seems everyone here has that well covered a very small taste is all that is needed and then just take it into consideration with your daily allowance :-)

The post before me mentions saggy skin - no offense but come on really - lets think all the major health issues being obese causes, disease, possible amputations, major medical bills etc ummm death ... a bit of loose skin is NOTHING and who really sees it - I have happily accepted loose skin will happen - how much I have no idea but I will drink heaps of water, moisturise, and strength train to keep it at bay as much as I can and if it becomes bigger than I can live with the amount I save in other medical care and junk food I can pop away for skin removal treatment - although it would need to be pretty major to bother ... and I hear you have to wait two years before you know how much your skin will adjust to the new you anyway :-)

So forget Will, go YOU - You have the power xx

Edited by: DECLARE74 at: 3/20/2014 (23:51)
Declare's Goals

110kgs (wedding weight)
97kgs (weight I met my hubby)
92kgs (lowest ever adult weight)
85kgs(original goal weight)
78kgs (healthy BMI and new goal)

NEW THINGS TO TRY 2014
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Going UP Mt Maunganui
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FOUNDER3
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3/19/14 4:04 P

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IMTODDIE

Excellent advice. That is the hardest part, to be able to pull your self worth away from the state of your eating, and the state of your body.

I know that one of my biggest issues is the fact that I weighed 333 pounds, and have been overweight for the majority of my life.

I know that when I do lose the weight, that I will be healthier, and that is what I try to concentrate on, but I also know that all of this loose skin will be with me forever. At age 64, there is not much to be done about that.

That also affects my self image daily. I just try to concentrate on how my clothes will look will look!

We do what we can.

Bonnie

Toledo, Ohio, USA TIMEZONE 0. we do go on daylight savings time in the summer.

Co leader 50+ members with 10-24 pounds to lose


"LIfe is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain,"

One day at a time, we CAN do anything!


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IMTODDIE
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3/19/14 11:58 A

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Hey SCAROLINA, It's ok to hate your current weight, but please don't hate yourself. You are so much more than numbers on a scale. If you love yourself you won't want to hurt yourself by making bad choices. Tell yourself every day that you love who you are and you only want what's best for you. Stick with it and know that you are doing it because you are worth it.

Tolerance implies no lack of commitment to one's own beliefs. Rather it condemns the oppression or persecution of others.
JFK


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JIBBIE49
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3/19/14 11:28 A

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There is a great BBC documentary on YouTube called "THE MEN WHO MADE US FAT" and it is about how processed food has FLAVOR ENHANCER chemicals added to the food to make us crave it and BUY MORE. Thus the smart think is to avoid buying processed food and stay with eating lean meats, fish, eggs, fresh veggies (or frozen) and fruits (in small amounts.) The saying "BET YOU CAN EAT JUST ONE" is what they are saying about having us addicted to their processed foods.



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SCAROLINA2015
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3/19/14 10:49 A

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Hi! You're not in the boat alone! i love to eat, I love food, I love everything about it! I hate my weight, my body and myself. It's such a catch 22! This winter has been really hard on me as I live in Upstate NY and we've gotten over 15 feet of snow this year! We are moving to SC this summer so hopefully this will help my lack of willpower lol! I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone in this fight! If you'd like to message me back that would be great! I need all the support I can get too emoticon



BLONDIEREV
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3/19/14 10:39 A

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I have trouble with the munchies in the evening and the more I try not to snack it seems the more I think about it. Even "good" snacks seem to throw me off.



TLEA53
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3/19/14 6:52 A

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I don't have any hints, but have learned that once you make up your mind to do something - you will.

Sheer determination!

You didn't gain it in a day, you won't lose it in a day.


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FOUNDER3
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3/18/14 9:13 P

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I have a tendency to be a compulsive eater. Had it pretty well under control for quite a long time, and it was a much better feeling.

However, my life has had so many changes in it, pain, surgeries, inactivity, etc, that for the last 4 or 5 weeks, I have been having a terrible time. I am hungry constantly. It really doesn't matter what, I just want to eat.

I am praying that with the advent of spring, (SOON PLEASE), I will get more sun, and be able to be outside and begin recovering from my surgeries, and get a bit of exercise, and I will get back to my old, new self!

I have been reading some of your suggestions, and I am going to try them as well.

Help me out everyone, THINK SPRING!



Bonnie

Toledo, Ohio, USA TIMEZONE 0. we do go on daylight savings time in the summer.

Co leader 50+ members with 10-24 pounds to lose


"LIfe is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain,"

One day at a time, we CAN do anything!


 current weight: 283.2 
 
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RICHARJ
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3/18/14 1:40 P

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Substitue Substitute Substitue.

If you are a soda drinker, drink unsweetened tea, candy bar maybe a hersheys kiss, bread, sweet bread, sometimes as long as you have ready healthy snacks available and eat that sometimes you forget all about those cravings. Good Luck with this. this is a tough one...Just be ready with substitutes in advance and you will be ok with consistency.

Today may there be Peace within. May you trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be.
May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of Faith in Yourself and others. May you use the gifts that you have received & pass on the Love that has been given to you.


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ACACIA21
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3/18/14 10:19 A

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well I allow myself a little bite of dark chocolate, too! All in all, you just have to make up your mind to do something and stick with it.

Michelle
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1BOSSMOMMY
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3/17/14 2:25 P

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I was watching a video about motivation to quit a bad habit like smoking. They showed how the same trick can be used to motivate a good habit like running. First you have to picture what you expect from giving up the bad habit or in the case of a good habit what you hope to gain. Then do the good habit you are trying to establish. The last part was the most important part. Reward yourself. Choose a reward for making the changes. I am a chocoholic and I was so pleased to see them mention reward with a square of dark chocolate. I love dark Belgian chocolate so for me that was just the reward I needed to give myself at the end of my running session and also not feel deprived or guilty when I do give myself a square of chocolate. It satisfies my cravings for chocolate in a controllable way.
emoticon

To me HEALTH means Energy. Stamina. Flexibilty. A relatively pain free body. Enjoying healthy food. You are your body, and your weight loss efforts will succeed exactly to the extent that you mange to do the work on behalf of your embodied self. You’ll do much better when you focus on making positive changes to improve your health and well-being, rather than on fighting your bad habits.


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SNOOKS2013
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3/17/14 11:49 A

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Turn it around.....from Will Power to......The Power To Will.
We all have the power to will

If you change nothing, nothing will change.


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CAH-RD
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3/17/14 9:57 A

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I haven't read the other suggestions, sorry.

If I were in your shoes, I would cut off HALF of a bite - enough to try it - and put the rest away (wherever that may be...garbage, fridge, share w/ someone). That way it's not sitting there tempting you.



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FOUNDER3
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3/13/14 8:39 P

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I am going to have to remember the tomato between tastes trick. I may be able to make use of that myself!

I can only sympathize and encourage you to do your best. Hopefully, by this time, you have been able to develop a few strategies that are helping you already.

Good luck, that is a tough job for you to have.



Bonnie

Toledo, Ohio, USA TIMEZONE 0. we do go on daylight savings time in the summer.

Co leader 50+ members with 10-24 pounds to lose


"LIfe is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it is about learning to dance in the rain,"

One day at a time, we CAN do anything!


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PUNKADOO
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3/13/14 11:57 A

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I had a similar job years ago and the weight really packed on, despite my walking several miles during every shift. I oversaw quality control for 7 lines of production in a food manufacturing company. And the final step (and essentially most important) in the quality process is taste. Every half hour! Eventually I would get so sick of tasting the same things over and over that I would grab something different to eat just to get the taste out of my mouth!

My boss always remained svelte and she told me her secret -- she kept a napkin handy and spit stuff out -- now that's kind of gross to some but done daintily enough I suppose it can work.

The tomato idea is great too.



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RUNFORWINE
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3/13/14 11:42 A

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When I have a hard time making choices on what I should do, I will text one of my girlfriends who knows what I am trying to accomplish for the motivation to stay strong and know my end goal is worth giving up chocolate or French fries temporarily. Willpower is hard, but you can do it. The right people, focusing on what you want and how you feel when you succeed is a huge thing!



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MRS_FIG
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3/13/14 10:17 A

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Years ago I heard that eating something tomato based (actual tomatoes work best) has the effect of "canceling out" the sugar craving, and I've definitely found this to work! So I can have something sweet, then a few grape tomatoes, and the acid/taste of the tomatoes gets rid of my craving for more sugar. So maybe you could try keeping some grape tomatoes on hand at work, that way it could refresh your palate in between desserts and help avoid the sugar binge (I can't even imagine how difficult having that for your job must be when you're trying to be healthy!) Best of luck!!



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KANGOOJUMPS
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3/13/14 7:56 A

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just do it

YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE!


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1BOSSMOMMY
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3/12/14 6:33 P

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emoticon
Positive attitude = Positive results

To me HEALTH means Energy. Stamina. Flexibilty. A relatively pain free body. Enjoying healthy food. You are your body, and your weight loss efforts will succeed exactly to the extent that you mange to do the work on behalf of your embodied self. You’ll do much better when you focus on making positive changes to improve your health and well-being, rather than on fighting your bad habits.


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GENRE009
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3/12/14 4:28 P

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Plan to succeed, other wise don't plan and fail. always journal. Learn a different life style, and how to eat to stay full. Weight Watchers is also good. Because without tools to succeed, like reading spark & WEIGHT WATCHERS. you will always lose weight but gain it back.



STITCH4EVER
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3/12/14 2:56 P

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IF THERE WAS A MAGIC WEIGHT LOSS PILL, I WOULD PAY A SMALL FORTUNE FOR IT. BUT BETTER YET, I WOULD LIKE PERMANENT INCENTIVE TO MAINTAIN HEALTHY.

ERIN
CST

"NEVER LET ANYONE DULL YOUR SPARKLE"


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LOLA_LALA
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3/10/14 11:47 A

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Congratulations, lovely Helena! If I hadn't consistently tracked my food intake, I would not have lost - nor would I be maintaining - those 80 pounds. When willpower seems to ebb, tracking's like insurance.



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GRATEFUL_DAWN
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3/9/14 9:13 P

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Tracking really helps me with my willpower. I like being able to check off each item as I do it. I still have cravings, but the SP program has helped me sooooo much. I have been following the program for 3 1/2 weeks and have already lost 4 pounds. I had only been having one meal a day before this with my weight staying the same. It is so nice to be able to lose weight.



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LOLA_LALA
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3/9/14 8:43 P

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Hanna, WOW! GREAT job...and some very helpful, thoughtful insights! emoticon

That's such a good point about it not being generalized, too. I have very good willpower when it comes to eating, now, but in some other areas of my life, it's not so great. I've found it's something I can change, though - one day at a time. In manageable bits, it's so much easier to work on this trait.

Thanks for your thoughts!



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ARTISANBELLE1
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3/9/14 2:42 P

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this is so inspiring hanna. thank you.



VUKELK
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3/9/14 9:34 A

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There is a lot of good advice here with this topic. When I am struggling, it's helped to surround myself with people that want the same things as me. It does help me be more accountable and remind me of what I truly want to accomplish.

Focus! You can do this!


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REDCATINN
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3/9/14 9:26 A

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I read your post and most of the comments. I understand quitting isn't an option. I understand it's unprofessional to taste and spit. What I would try, is what you've already done. Just try a small bite, enough to have a good taste. Keep in mind if you eat the whole thing, you'd probably be eating enough calories for an entire meal. I'd look at it and think...do I wanna eat this, or do I want lunch? Because I can't have both! I sit all day at work and there is always food there. People bring cookies, cakes, desserts, even meals (not healthy ones), especially around the holidays. I just have to remind myself, there's always going to be more cheesecake, there's always going to be more brownies. The only time I have trouble....PMS! I work 12 hour shifts and get an hour lunch break. I spend my break in the gym (which is in the same building). I don't like it. I hate the elliptical. I hate the rowing machine. But I know sitting and eating for 12 hours a day is really really bad for my body. You can get past this hurdle.



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1BOSSMOMMY
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3/9/14 12:38 A

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I just watched a neat little video some of you may not have watched yet. It was about habits and how they are formed and how to break them. They said we can use the same technique for motivation. The example was running. To motivate yourself you need to have something you expect to get from the activity immediately after doing it. Then you go jogging. The last part is the reward. They said if you love chocolate reward yourself right after jogging with a small square of chocolate. Next time you want to go jogging you will expect the reward and after a few weeks the reward will be the wanting to go jogging without needing to reward yourself with chocolate. I'm a chocoholic and I have trained myself to only have one square of dark chocolate when I am feeling low energy. I know it's just a temporary pick me up but right after jogging is usually when I just want to go and lay down. I jog about an hour before dinner and so the pick me up usually will carry me through till I have to make dinner and then I'm too busy to think about how tired I was.

To me HEALTH means Energy. Stamina. Flexibilty. A relatively pain free body. Enjoying healthy food. You are your body, and your weight loss efforts will succeed exactly to the extent that you mange to do the work on behalf of your embodied self. You’ll do much better when you focus on making positive changes to improve your health and well-being, rather than on fighting your bad habits.


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WYDLM7
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3/7/14 10:33 A

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thank you so much for that information .I'll have to look up that booklet. emoticon

Edited by: WYDLM7 at: 3/7/2014 (10:35)

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TC8890
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TC8890
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3/5/14 8:12 P

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UNFAIREXCHANGE
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3/5/14 2:57 P

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Step one is to have a concrete goal. Get to 150 lbs. Fit into that dress. Whatever, it just has to be measurable. Step 2 is to ask your self, "Would I rather eat that or get to my goal?" And sometimes the answer really is "I want to eat that!" then by all means, eat it. Just make it a deliberate decision instead of a mindless habit.
More often than not, when it is an either/or proposition, your desire to reach your goal wins out.
That, and read the nutritional information before you put it in your mouth. Something that sounds really tempting becomes much less so when you realize what it's going to cost you.



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POSITIVEHOPE
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3/5/14 11:34 A

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I have struggled with compulsive eating for all of my adult life. The inner voice that urges me to EAT that. You know you want it. It'll make you feel better. Every time I gave in to that voice, I felt a little less powerful.
I have learned some wonderful tools that on this journey. Dr Amy Johnson's free online 23 page booklet, "Fighting the Urge" has helped me overcome that negative inner voice that says Eat it. NOW. I unsuccessfully fought against that voice, tried to reason with it and even begged and pleaded with it. She gave me information on new brain research that explains where that voice comes from. More importantly, She gave me tools that I successfully used to stop that voice and stop my compulsive eating. It wasn't even hard and there is no drama. It just stops the voice cold so I can redirect myself and easily make the decision to not eat. It really works! If you want to know more google DrAmyJohnson.com Fighting the Urge.
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FHAR451
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3/5/14 10:11 A

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I enjoyed reading what you had to say. I think it is all a "mind" thing. You have to remind yourself of your ultimate goals when those cravings hit. Getting positve feedback helps alot. I have lost about 15 lbs since December. Whenever someone compliments me on my weight loss, I am able to use my willpower more readily.



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GORDON66
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3/5/14 9:39 A

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It's all about focus and not losing sight of your goals. It's hard and often takes real effort, Dig deep to find motivation, because it has to come from within.



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JEWELZEE-
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3/5/14 4:25 A

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I have been going in my closet once a day and
1) getting rid of one thing I don't like anymore, whether it fits or not
2) admiring the things I still love and wish I could wear.

Doing this everyday keeps it top-of-mind and my go-to thought when I'm tempted. If it doesn't stop me completely, it at least gives me more control and the ability to taste and be done.



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HOCKEYMOM5683
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3/4/14 10:02 A

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Great article.



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HANNA_WIELFAERT
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3/4/14 6:55 A

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I had a course about behavioral change at school, so maybe this can be interesting to you guys.

Let me tell you, willpower is something tricky.

- Willpower is actually linked physically. Research has shown that people who consumed glucose before a willpower test, had more willpower. It burns energy, literally! That's why 'not giving in' can make you feel so tired. Not to give you an excuse, but it's nice to know it's not 'all in your head'.

- Just like muscle strength, you can built it. That's the good news. The bad news is, you can also run out of it. Everybody has their limits to what they can take. The good news is, you can push those limits. Just like exercising will make you more powerful, training your willpower will do that too. That's one way to look at it. When you're having a hard day at work with a lot of triggers, see it as a tough training session. It all counts.

- People have two mental systems, you could call them the 'heated system' and the 'cold system', like a shower you're under all the time. The heated system is all the stuff you want, you crave. You don't want to get up in the morning, you want to stay in bed. The cold system is all the stuff you make yourself do, you force yourself to do. When you do get out of bed, the 'cold system' is on and you get a mental freezing cold shower. That's why self-care is so important in a diet. You force yourself to do so much, that you're under that freezing cold water all the time. Spoil yourself. Reward yourself in all ways possible, in other, non-food related aspects of your life. Make that water a bit more bearable.

- Last but not least! Willpower is generalised. You don't have willpower for every aspect of your life individually. That's why people with a lot of kids, a job with a lot of hours/stress or people at a difficult time in their lives simply CAN NOT cope with their diet. You only have so much you can handle, so much you can force yourself to do, so much 'cold water' you can bare. Use this to your advantage. Change your life so there aren't so many 'have to's', if you can. Or change your goals slightly, so they can support each other instead of working against each other. This one is quite vague, but I don't know your life or what to tell you.. But don't be so hard on yourself, is what I'm trying to say. Know that you are limited in your resources and be proactive about it. Send the kids to their grandparents and don't feel bad about being 'a bad mother'. Impossible to clean the house this week? You're only human.

I hope this helps! Sorry for the grammar mistakes :)



BRENDAB49
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3/3/14 9:04 P

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The thing about willpower is that you have to know when to stop. It is not anything wrong with giving in to the urge just as long as you dont take it too far. I have been craving pizza and I know how many calories is in one slice but I have not yet eaten any yet, but the thing that I gave in to was a slice of yellow cake. I have not eaten it yet but I will put it in the fridge and eat a layer at a time just to kill the craving. Usually when I want something I will buy it and eat enough to satisfy and throw the rest away. Maybe its not willpower. It is satisfaction.

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

Take risks, if you win, you will be happy, if you lose. you will be wise.
Anonymous


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SIMONEKP
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3/3/14 2:24 P

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not having extra stuff around will go a long way

Simone

"Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish." - John Quincy Adams

No matter how slow you go, you're still lapping everyone on the couch!
Source: unknown



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HOCKEYMOM5683
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3/3/14 12:01 P

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I am going through the same thing. But I think you just have to start again today and not feel guilty. Good Luck



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BETTERME8913
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3/3/14 1:05 A

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Take a taste to see if it's worth distributing or not, then remember nothing tastes as good as thin feels. Throw the rest out and feel good about it! I'd suggest to them to offer healthier options also. Alot of people want that these days. We want something that is a treat that won't kill our diet to eat it either. There are some things out there that taste good, but are better choices. I hope you recommend that to them. emoticon Good luck!



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SMILEYGRL28
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3/2/14 9:20 P

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Thank you for posting this question. Will power is a tough one for me. There has been a lot of ideas brought up.

Are you in a position where you can professionally challenge these vendors to make a healthier dessert?

Job market is tough, it's difficult to find good work that one can find satisfaction with and pays the bills.

Good luck in your quest.



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PSEYMOUR1970
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3/2/14 8:07 P

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My willpower seems to be pretty nonexistent anymore. The more I try, the more I seem to fail. I was doing so well and then...poof...I have 2 or 3 bad days in row and I am so off kilter it is like pulling teeth to get back on track...ugh

I WIll succeed!!!


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EGRAMMY
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3/2/14 5:57 P

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going to church helps



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MPLANE37
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3/1/14 7:11 A

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Willpower will last for a short time and be drained for the rest of the day. It isn't reliable (all these books about improving willpower are not convincing at all...).

Instead you need to work on your "perception". The same object/action/phenomenon/etc can be perceived in many different ways by different people. That means, one person's perception of a thing or action or phenomenon can be altered. Alter your perception of tasting a cake. How to do it depends on you. One way of altering the perception may work for someone but not for another person. You need to find out how you can alter your perception of tasting a cake so that you take it as a job and not as an opportunity to eat a lot of cake.

``Don't break the chain." -Jerry Seinfeld
``Moments of silence are part of the music." -Anonymous


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SEAGLASS1215
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2/28/14 4:06 A

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I know I would not be able to handle your job it would be too tempting to me to eat it all especially if it was that good.

Is it possible to taste but not swallow the dessert? Let it sit in your mouth for a bit, swirl it around, then discretely spit it into a napkin and toss? (probably easier said than done)

The most over-used antidepressant is food. The most under used antidepressant is exercise.

Food is fuel, not my therapist.


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CEEJAYLO
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2/27/14 1:59 P

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A big thank you Jenbys for your Oh-so-sensible advice, just what I needed. Next week, my lovely long term friend is treating me to a special "tea" at a beautiful venue to celebrate my 70th Birthday and while I have been looking forward to it, I've also been worried. I don't want to wreck all my good work but neither do I want my friend to think I don't appreciate her treat by not eating at least some of what's on offer... either way I figured I was in for a guilt trip :-(

Now, I shall take your advice on board, be careful, estimate my calories, claw them back over the next few days and ENJOY!

What I did yesterday I can do today and what I did today I can do tomorrow. Eat less, move more Ya!!


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JENBYS
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2/26/14 9:20 P

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That is a serious challenge! I'm not even a sweets person but in recent years I worked in a cake obsessed office. Every time someone had a birthday, baby shower, retirement, transfer to another branch, wedding, etc and so forth we had cake. I gained 30 pounds!

All the advice listed below is awesome. Also good for you for already starting to incorporate those techniques. My advice would be to pick up the slack during the rest of the week. If those two tastings become your only "cheat" meals per week, you're not doing too badly.

Another tactic - estimate how many calories you will consume during each tasting and tack that onto your weekly exercise. Also depending on your exercise schedule, perhaps you could do your hardest workouts on those days, pre cake noshing. For me I really can't eat junk food after a run, it makes me nauseated. Figure out what has that same effect on you. Good luck!

Persistence Prevails!


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DELTAGIRL43
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2/26/14 3:17 P

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This is a great topic! And I want to come back here and read everyone's answers so I can learn how to change my reactions to food. I Know in my head that I can choose differently, but right now, I am still usually reaching to eat the food instead of bypassing it. I don't know why I am doing that, because I really want to lose weight. But, I keep eating the wrong foods in additon to the healthy foods I make myself eat. I need some help or a brain transplant. lol

This is not too hard for me. I can do this.


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BIBIANAB
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2/26/14 12:40 A

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I am so glad that I do NOT have your job! It would be very hard to resist. But perhaps you could have a "Tasting" like a wine tasting. Taste and spit. Taste and spit. If the wine tasters can spit it out (I can not imagine that, but they do), then you can also. Turn it around so that everyone there can and are encouraged to spit out the taste. It anyone gets offended, tell them that you are taking your cue from the wine industry. If anyone gets grossed out, tell them to not look in the bucket!



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