This week has been hell for me. the stress of knowing I had 3 exams coming up and a 20+ page lab report to do caused all my sleep problems to act up. 3 nights in a row I laid awake for 5 hours, then fell into a bit of sleep but had episodes of my sleep paralysis which included very realistic hallucinations of demons, which was new for them.
I slept decent last two nights (thanks to benadryl I think), after not sleeping for the 3 previous. Becuase I needed the sleep I didn't get the studying done I needed and didn't do as good as I'd hoped on my first two exams. Still have another exam in my hardest class tomorrow (typing this is a minor study break)
On top of all this stress, my Jeep decided it didn't want to start this morning, so I couldn't get a little workout in, which would have made me feel geaet, becuase I had to get in contact with the repair shop and tow truck. I just can't deal with this stress level and I'm on the verge of breaking. I can't even take a stress break becuase I'm so behind on my studying.
My mom, being the awesome mom she is, sent a box full of homemade cookies. I instantly ate two and they were great. Now I'm wondering what to do with the rest and not sure. Will the home comfort food have me feeling better? Will I feel guilty after eating too many? Should I eat some and as long as I don't binge on them, reward myself by not tracking them? If it shows how messed up my mental state is I'm actually debating pros and cons of cookies with online strangers here....
This week has me going crazy between no sleep, exams/studying and now my stupid Jeep dying. All the deep breaths and "calming" down won't help me here. I'm just going insane, and don't even know if I want food. A quick lift might have me feeling better, but I have no way of getting to a gym (or the time) and there's still 3 feet of snow on the ground so no run either.
I'm 5'8" stinks being shorter
Summer 2011- 215 lbs. Peak weight
Christmas 2011- 200 lbs
Start of summer 2012- 170 lbs
September 2012- Made my goal of competing at feather weight for Bjj (under 149 with a little water cut)
Now I'm just trying to maintain around 152ish to leave me in easy cutting range. Also trying to relax and eat more like a normal person now, balancing enjoying life and staying healthy.
| current weight: 20.4 over