I'm having trouble with it! Part of it is that I'm going through a nasty breakup right now, so the depression has my appetite way down. But the other part of it is that I host dinners 1-4 nights a week for my job. These are big family style dinners with lots of home-cooked type food. The other staff usually eat the dinner in the kitchen, but I've passed it up so far for my own packed dinners. I've seen the recipes, they may be carrots but I know a stick of butter was melted on top of them.... Problem is when I'm eating my normal breakfast (oatmeal dressed up different ways) and lunch (usually a sandwich, sometimes leftovers) and then a packed dinner, I'm only ending up at 900-1000 calories when my minimum is 1200.
This morning was bad because I was feeling especially down and not hungry, so all I had was a mandarin orange and string cheese, something like 70 calories. Bad. Bad bad bad. But I just can't bring myself to eat, food doesn't appeal to me right now. I've had struggles in the past (long ago, nearly 8 years) with eating disorders, but this feels different. I'm not eating because I plain don't feel like it, not because I don't want to. I feel guilty at the end of the day when I haven't met my minimum calorie and nutrient goals.
This wasn't ever an issue when I was in the relationship I was in because, to be totally honest, we smoked a lot of pot and had a fast food taco Tuesday every week. I never worried about eating, and quite frankly, ate too much a lot of the time. I haven't smoked pot in almost 3 months, though, and my appetite is suffering with this depression.
Ugh, I don't know what to do, I'm just really frustrated right now. Like I said, I WANT to be eating more, I just am totally not interested in food right now. Any ideas for calorie dense (healthy, please) foods that would help boost my calorie intake without making me feel like I have to eat a ton of something? I was thinking about picking up some almonds tomorrow to see if that helps.
| current weight: 163.6