Self Control - Can it be taught?

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10/10/12 11:56 A

It can be taught, but I feel that everyone caves at one time or another. you have to be strong,

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10/10/12 11:52 A

Yes.

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10/10/12 11:34 A

Odd question. What is the definition of self control? Rats can be taught that if they press a botton they will get a shock, so they 'learn' not to press the button. But, I don't know of a rat that has been taught if they press a button, and they get food, NOT to press that button. This is the essence of losing weight. We must learn not to eat something delicious, even tho it will, at some point in the future, work against us.

There are tricks and tips for accessing self control, but self control is personal, not learned.

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10/10/12 8:24 A

Yes, it definitely can be both taught and learned. Unfortunately, many of us don't follow the lesson.

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10/10/12 7:49 A

yes it can be taught because I myself this time around have alot of self control. I am shocked and so isnt everyone around me! My main focus is my goal personally. But if you are down to the weight you want to be at or near it just remember the person you used to be even put up pictures just as a reminder of where you never want to be again. I think this will help you stay focused. Also weighing your foods and making sure you are not over eating anything is a good idea too. I know some of the foods that we make are amazing but save the leftovers for the next days lunch or something.

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10/10/12 7:07 A

Yep!

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10/10/12 7:04 A

Yes, it can along with portion control. It is a mind-set and when you decide it is there.

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10/10/12 5:28 A

I don't know about "taught", but it can be "learned". However, it can take a long time of consistent effort and experimentation. One needs to build healthy habits, so that the behaviors require less will power to maintain.

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10/10/12 12:15 A

Yes - I've learned self control by DOING it.

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10/10/12 12:08 A

I may not be the best person to respond, I've only been on spark for a little over three weeks. I'm not sure how will power is created. Personally, I've been incredibly lucky so far. It's like a switch flipped in my brain and I only see food as fuel now. I think I may have always felt that way, but I grew up in a family that food is love and comfort, so I would follow suit and pile food on my plate.

I think a lot of it has to do with my time with a counselor. We never talked about food issues per se, but she helped me learn how to explore my emotions, as well as better ways of dealing with them. I strongly believe that pretty much everyone could benefit from a good counselor. Learning why you do things and react certain ways is a good start to learning to stop your behavior.

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10/9/12 10:13 P

I've been reading a lot about willpower lately -- it seems like each of us has only a limited amount of it, and each time we use it, it gets depleted. In a nutshell -- you need to build *habits,* and try to reduce the amount of willpower you need to get through any task. You don't think of needing willpower to, say, brush your teeth -- because that's now a habit, and you'd feel strange if you *didn't* do it.

The trick to it is to only try to form one or two habits at a time. When those habits are set, try to add additional habits. I'm making it sound a bit easier than it really is -- I managed to change my diet and exercise patterns and form new, good habits (yay!) but I am having trouble forming some other good habits. But those are still taking a lot of willpower, and haven't yet "stuck."

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10/9/12 8:36 P

There have been many wonderful ideas for strengthening self control--but we should never expect perfect self control. Balance--don't excuse many lapses, but know they will occur. Keeping a good can-do attitude will work wonders.

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10/9/12 8:32 P

Yes, I believe it can be taught, we all have to be our own teacher though. You have to do this because you see value in it.

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10/9/12 7:39 P

Yes self control can be taught. I like ORODEO's analogy of the red light.

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10/9/12 7:24 P

I think we learn what we want to, and we are stronger than we give ourself credit, it's not about deprivation, its about learning how to find the middle ground and stick with it, we have to convince ourself somedays we got it!!! Fake it until you make it.

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10/9/12 7:18 P

it can be taught, the question is: can it be maintained for life? i believe that's the harder part.

Edited by: FORESTGHOUL at: 10/9/2012 (19:18)

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10/9/12 3:46 P

I don't think self-control comes naturally in the area of food consumption - for many people. That's ok. Just have to plan for eating healthy, exercise and get enough rest. It will be easier to actually control yourself when tempted.

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10/9/12 2:34 P

Yes! Absolutely!! We all have self control if we discipline ourselves to actually do it. We all have potential to be our absolute best- it is our choice to have self control or not.
It's just a matter of deciding to do it wholeheartedly, and going for it. I think it can also be taught, but really a teacher would be coaxing your own self control out, does that make sense?
The best motivational phrase I've heard that helps me is, "It's Possible I can do this" and "It's possible I can do that". Something about that just clicks in my head and I can control myself. Also learning to stay calm is good.

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10/9/12 2:19 P

Great Post. Thank you. I found what you wrote to be very helpful

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10/9/12 1:50 P

I have to just stay away, but isn't that a form of self control too?

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10/9/12 10:17 A

I have been struggling for years. I say no. I can't control or portion of things that are triggers.Anything with sugar, especially chocolate or ice cream, or things like pizza or pub food. I basically have to stay far far far away from those and only have on special occasions.

I believe certain foods have emotional connections and that is why they trigger binges. Sweets remind me of childhood. Pub food reminds me good times when I was younger.

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10/9/12 10:08 A

yes - i think it is like PAVLOV'S DOGS - you have to associate over eating with feeling physically ill - or just unwell and uncomfortable - or have problems with elimination following the days you have over taxed your system.
on the other hand - when you eat to be satisfied - when you live inside your body and feel great after a meal - like you can still do up your pants - take a walk - stand and clean up without having to crash on the couch and sleep - then you being to put into your head THAT WAS ALL THE FOOD/FUEL required.
picture over filling your gas tank - you would not do that to your car - don't do it to yourself.
i agree with other posters who say indulge in just one share of chosen item - do not have tons on hand so you CANNOT over do it. BB

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10/9/12 6:41 A

For me if i have pizza,pasta and sweets its hard not to have seconds. So when I.have these
I make sure there's only one serving available.

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10/9/12 12:19 A

Check out the book Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength [Paperback]
Roy F. Baumeister (Author), John Tierney (Author). (http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/willpower-roy-f-baumeister/1100482735?ean=9780143122234)
It talks about just this! Also gives great advice on how to strengthen willpower!

I looooooove naan too, have to feed to son to keep it away from me ;)

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10/8/12 10:53 P

I think learning self-control is like establishing a new habit. It requires thought, wanting the desired outcome, and for a certain period of time, having to check youself thoughtfully. When the positive result is reached, the habit becomes easier.

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10/8/12 7:35 P

I too try to avoid foods. I try not to have things in my house that I will be temped by.

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10/8/12 6:37 P

I;m of the avoider category. I try to stay away from foods that spur me on to eat more.

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10/8/12 4:51 P

I'm with HANALILA on this. It's not only your perceived control in eating the food, but the effect the food has on you. Food can most certainly have addictive qualities, especially sugar or carbohydrate heavy foods. Personally, I avoid much bread, pasta, etc. because it physically makes me want to eat more of it. If I eat a plate of zucchini noodles and turkey meatballs, I'm satisfied no matter how much or little I've had to eat that day. If I eat regular pasta and meatballs, I'm headed back for more no matter how much or little I've had to eat that day.

I love Indian and I just don't make the naan anymore because of those urges to eat more. Honestly denying myself the second piece feels physically more difficult than not eating it in the first place. Sometimes, I do puppadoms which are crunchy and made with lentils, I think. 1 whole piece of the naan I'd get from the store is usually about 400 calories (1 piece is two servings). If you're making them from scratch, you'd know an accurate calorie count. The puppadoms also have a lot less calories.

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10/8/12 1:49 P

I think so. We can learn to have some self-control

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10/8/12 1:45 P

YES, The two stumbling blocks are correct information and desire. Without either you headed for failure. In these times of more--more and still more-- now! we need to take the time for ourselves to make wise decisions with the information given (Do I want that huge piece of pie -OR- do I want to get in to those jeans)? If we take the time to think rather than on the spur impulses I believe Self Control will be Learned an become as natural as any instinct

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10/8/12 1:37 P

I often tell myself, there will always be a next time. No need for stuffing myself with a second helping then.

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10/8/12 12:18 P

Loved your response - thank you so much!

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10/8/12 11:39 A

YES! For me, my body learns self-control faster than my mind...so I am trying to learn how to listen to my body and ignore my brain when it comes to making decisions about nutrition and fitness. My body knows it has had enough food, but my head still says 'more'. My body craves movement, but my head says 'tired'. UGH!

Keep pushing - we can do it!

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10/8/12 10:52 A

I believe self control can be taught. It is a form of behavior modification. I normally have pretty good self control, but last week I did not utilize self control and spent most of the week binging on carbs. When using self control, you have to ask yourself what is more important, your desires (at that moment) or your goals. (desire--eat that bag of chips. goal--to lose weight and be healthy)

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10/8/12 8:54 A

For me, it's all about having a goal, or sometimes multiple goals. The more goals the better because if you have pressure from more than one source, it's easier to stay focused. For example, I want to lose 10 pounds, I want to wear my red dress to church on Christmas Eve and I want to look good in it. I want to show my granddaughter that Granny can still accomplish a goal, I want to feel good and healthy for my move to a new house next month so I can carry the boxes, and the list goes on. When I think about all of the ways losing 10 lbs will enrich my life, it makes it easier to pass up that 'goodie'.

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10/8/12 4:40 A

I decided to not use adult size plates for any meals. Put your meals on kid size plates and don't go back after filling up the plate.

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10/7/12 10:17 P

I think self control is a continual learning process.

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10/7/12 9:24 P

I am currently using a reward system to give my self-control a boost. I pay myself $1 for every day I stay within my calorie range. The biggest reward is improving myself, physically, emotionally and intellectually. I must be a slow-learner as I am 66.

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10/7/12 8:01 P

I have found that recording my food daily has helped me to lose the weight that I have gained over the past few years. Each food selection is given thought and I try to make the healthy choice. I can not answer for others if Self Control can be taught but recording my food daily has given me a greater reason to use good judgement and wisdom in making food selections.

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10/7/12 2:41 P

I have always been an "all or nothing" type when it came to diet/exercise. Whenever I was making unhealthy choices, my excuse was "I have no willpower". Ever since I found Spark, I have had a completely different attitude. I decided to TRY doing things a little at a time, and I have found out that it works AMAZINGLY well! I have turned myself into an optimist, and now whenever I feel myself start to tell myself "I have no willpower", I say "Yes I do have willpower. I am in charge of my own decisions and I am worth it!" I have been having amazing success with this. There are days when I have had to force the positive self-talk, but it is coming easier and easier these days. I love SparkPeople!

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10/7/12 10:28 A

First you have to really WANT what you're trying to achieve. Saying you want it and doing it are two different things. When you REALLY want something or HAVE to do something, you just do it, right? But much of what we're trying to achieve, as important as it is, is truly voluntary. No one will put you in jail or fine you $500 for not achieving it. So you have to put in your own reward system, and identify the "talk" in your head that will try to get you out of doing something difficult. Of course, we won't blame ourselves, but our husbands, our jobs, our handicaps, our kids, whoever or whatever, but in point of fact, they are just excuses, we all know that, right? WANT what you goal is, then BELIEVE you need and deserve it. Then take baby steps. Wash the dishes every night after dinner. Spend 5 minutes actually talking at the dinner table with your family..make these a priority. See how good they make you feel. Then go onto to something else. Pretty soon changing your eating habits will seem like just another thing you do for your own well-being. You'll see. When you REALLY want something, you can do it, even if once in a while you slip up. Everyone slips up, it's who gets back in the game.

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10/7/12 9:30 A

To gain self-control, I had to learn to THINK differently about myself and the world around me. In seeking to answer questions about how healthy, happy people live, over 40 years I learned that I came from a home with a lot of negative, critical, and unhealthy attitudes.
I began reading the bible to find out if I believed God was real at age 20. That one change in my life of reading that book every day for decades, has changed my attitudes and changed my life for the better. Yes, I do believe God is real. But I would have missed it had I not read the bible.

Changing ourselves is the hardest goal. Changing others is impossible.

As I gained self-control, I gained confidence. It took me years of work with small successes and set-backs along the way. Don't give up.

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10/7/12 7:26 A

Of course self control can be taught. Read Judith Beck PhD's "THE BECK DIET SOLUTION" which isn't a "diet" book but a book on how to THINK like a THIN person. She has been slim for over 20 yrs. www.amazon.com/The-Beck-Diet-Solution-Pers
on/dp/0848732758/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qi
d=1349608924&sr=8-5&keywords=the+beck+
diet+for+life

We have a SparkTeam here for support.

Also, do EFT Tapping. This video from YouTube will show u how. www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDABIwR99qg and this one www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWyiXjLY6LY

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10/6/12 11:10 P

I think hormones and such have a LOT to do with our self control. I know if I have sugar or alcohol in my system I have much less control than I otherwise would have. Find out what your triggers are and then avoid them like the plague.

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10/6/12 10:37 P

What I have learned about self-control . . .
Life is full of choices and I alone am responsible for the choices I make.

Understanding that I am the only one who can control what I think, do or say has made all the difference in the world to me.

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10/6/12 3:37 P

I think that self control is like an addiction. Some people can stay away from doing/eating unhealthy things and have it never cross their minds otherwise, however those who have to monitor it always have the possibility to fall back off the wagon (think like AA or drug addictions). I think its taught but it depends on the person on whether or not it can be maintained long term.

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10/6/12 10:57 A

That's what i am lacking at home; the self control and motivation. So happy i joined SparkPeople. I am disabled and the medicines are adding weight, so i have joined the YMCA and taking water aerobic to help. I am trying to have self control today and pay attention to what i am eating, this morning i made a green gulp juice and it was delicious.

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10/6/12 7:32 A

Yes. Do it in small achievable steps/goals. Build on the successes.

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10/6/12 7:03 A

Yes! I went to a hypnotist for weight loss and since then I've been able to track every calorie and go to the gym. I've lost 80 lbs! She really helped me focus on what I was eating and helped me realize that I'd rather be thin than eat fast food. I don't think I would have been successful without this therapy. For me it was two sessions in July of 2011 and I'm still on track to lose that last 10 lbs. I also know that I'm going to be able to keep the weight off and that I'll be logging into sparkpeople every day for the rest of my life (hope this website is around that long!)

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10/6/12 12:08 A

A person can help another sort through what should or should not be done to practice self control; however, the final decision has to be owned by the person practicing self control. As stated by Ralph Marston,

...there is always a much more fulfilling and life-affirming way. That way is self control. As soon as you choose positive self control, not only do you avoid the destructive behavior, you also build more strength to do so. Positive, productive habits can become even stronger than negative, destructive ones.

Self control is not the easy way, for it takes effort and commitment. It is, however, the best way and it is something you can surely exercise when you understand how very far ahead it will take you."

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