Secondhand Food

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10/3/12 8:43 P

A lot of good responses here. If I am offered sweets that are sticky or taffy-like, I go with "thanks, but I can't risk my dental work"; or "I can't afford to give my dentist more business". At a party, I'll bring the spinach dip: start with Liptons vegtable dip, but instead of using 1 c mayo and 1 c sour cream, I use 1/2 cup light Miracle Whip and 1/2 c light sour cream and 1 cup non-fat yogurt. I don't know the calories, but I feel OK with having a couple crackers or celery sticks w-dip and others can't tell the difference! My mother-in-law always asks for it at gatherings. And if I am stuck with sweets at home, I freeze them in small portions and bring out when my son has company.

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10/3/12 7:09 P

I guess I'm just not very nice when it comes to what others think about my decisions about my body. If "No, thank you." doesn't work, then it's another "No, thank you." After two nice versions, it turns into "NO"- very firm, and with nothing nice (though nothing intentionally rude, either). After that, they get a view of my wide behind walking away, and no further comment.

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10/3/12 3:05 P

My hubby will say "no thanks" and when they question why he says "I don't need it". Which usually get an eye roll. (Mr. At-a-healthy-weight doesn't need a brownie kind of eye roll)
I have a hard time being that direct. At work, if it's after lunch I can say "no thanks" and put my hand on my stomach like I'm super full from lunch. Or say I'm so full from lunch I don't know where I would put it." Or take what ever it is, tell them you're saving it for later because you had a big lunch, then throw it away at your desk. (When I do this strategy it's usually because I do want some, so I have a bite or two, then throw it out. This way you can even comment later on how you enjoyed it so they know you ate it)

You just have to learn to stand your ground. Which can be hard when people are trying to be nice. But it gets easier the more you say "no thank you".

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10/3/12 1:33 P

I do take food if I can get it for free because I like to save the money and also I loathe wasting food... but sometimes, I'll bring it home for the bf to eat, or for me to eat later. I will only take a little bit now too if it is sweets.
As for going out for lunch, for the most part, people at work have stopped asking me, but that was SO HARD to say no. I want to go, but they eat at the cheapie places that don't tend to have low calorie options and I count on having a low calorie lunch so that I can enjoy a respectable dinner at home with the bf.
With my family (and most of my coworkers actually), they can't understand why I tend to not eat meat. I'm flexitarian and prefer not to eat meat more than maybe once a week. To explain that to them would be foreign. I lost a lot of weight years ago by switching to a healthier lifestyle and any kind of healthy dish was normally rejected and probably thrown away. I've since given up that battle. I don't visit home often, so when I'm there, I just eat what they do. It's easier and more positive than facing ridicule and scrutiny. Luckily most of the women in my family eat like birds, so even though they are eating junk, I can comfortably only eat a small portion and blend in the best I can.

Edited by: TIEDYED69PEACE at: 10/3/2012 (13:35)

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10/3/12 4:40 A

My GF who is a British size 6 or 8 dress size so American size 4 or 6 (she does weigh 134lbs so not actualy skinny) has two get outs one is she is vegan and two is she is a bit sensitive to wheat (not many desserts don't have some form of dairy, eggs or flour in them), so she just says no but if there is a G&T going I will have that for my pudding instead. It does not work with my mum - who always makes a huge bowl of fresh fruit salad and gets soy cream in when we visit for a meal (but mum does have a tupperware box ready for us to take any left over away)

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10/3/12 12:43 A

I'm sure its some kind of weird societal programming that makes us want others to do what ever it is we are doing; whether its eating, drinking, smoking, or some other activity. It falls under the same category as when everyone at the table who is ordering a drink is immediately uncomfortable when one person does not. Or lighting up cigarettes. or what ever it is. maybe its a feeling that "if I'm right in my behaviour, and anyone who does not do like I do has to be wrong". becuase the alternative is, to be wrong ourselves. So the alternative is just be strong, just say no, and say no with an explanation if the situation calls for it. If that doesn't do, these are not friends who are supporting your efforts and have to be treated as such. Personally, I'd call them on their lack of support. Why is it so important to them that you be put in that position? Why do they want you to fail? Then again, the older I get, the less tact.

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10/2/12 11:25 P

KGWINDER, I agree with you about turning the question back to the food pusher. When I say, "No thank you," to someone and they keep saying things like, "Are you sure??" or "What's the matter?" (like there has to be something wrong with me to say no to a dessert), I simply say, "I need to say no to this and I happen to have the willpower today. You know I'm trying to lose weight, so why do you act as if I'm missing something if I don't eat this? It's not a personal affront to your cooking." In many cases, it's not even like the person made it herself (like a store-bought birthday cake), and not only do they have no right to be offended, I won't waste my calories on something that just isn't that good. I bake, so I have a low tolerance for store-bought cookies and cakes -- they're just never as tasty as homemade.

I've also had the "Finish this -- there's only a little bit left," offer, and I turn it around and say, "Why don't YOU finish it?" When the person says, "I'm too full," I say, "So am I. I can't fit that last bit in any more than you can."

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10/2/12 12:00 P

I've changed my stradegy over time. First time, I compliment the food and turn it down "Oh you make the most lovely things, I can tell you put a lot of effort into that however, no thank you". Second time, "I know you are trying to be kind, but that won't work for me". The third time I try to judge if the person it rude...if so I take the food and throw it away in front of them or if I think they are being just clueless I either take it and freeze it and use it as tiny snacks along the line (portion control here and there is NO obligation to take more than one bit, or I can give it to someone that can use the calories) or I turn the conversation on to them "My, having me eating this means a lot to you, tell me why you feel that way?" Now they are the ones that have to explain their position. You get all sort of strange answers like I don't want you to starve or miss out etc. and I usually laugh and say I've made sure that wouldn't happen for years I don't need any catching up. Or if they say they put a lot of time and effort into it, you can say "I don't need to eat it to know that, just by looking at it I can see all the effort - I love you Mom, I'll never need food to know that!" trust me that stops the conversation.

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10/2/12 11:42 A

I remember my wonderful monther-in-law, a fabulous Texas cook, that would make the basic stuffing, take out a portion for me THEN add the onions, take out another portion for the kids THEN add the oysters! She demonstrated her love by making everyone food comfortable! Yes, offer to take not just one healthy dish but two or three.

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10/2/12 10:53 A

Frenchifal, that's a beautiful way to respond to a problem that many of us will face in the upcoming party season. Thanks for your kind ideas!
Kathie

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10/2/12 9:19 A

I had the same problem several years ago, when I first switched to a vegetarian diet. My parents and most of the family (except for my mom's parents) apparently will DIE if they don't eat red meat and potatoes with every meal, LOL.

When I first started bringing my own food, they were offended. But I've found a few recipes that they all LOVE!! In fact, my step-grandmother got offended when I was there for Thanksgiving last year...while she loved the sweet potato shepherd's pies I had prepared and brought, she got a little upset when my 14-year-old cousin only ate a few bites of her pot roast and ate a half a pie by himself!

The first few times, it WILL be a little strange. Eventually, though, they'll appreciate your contributions and your healthier recipes. In fact, my parents have ALREADY called me to ask about Thanksgiving dinner, and to see if I would be willing to bring a sweet potato shepherd's pie AND my raw mushroom and walnut stuffing for the event. They appreciate not having to cook for a sensitive palate, and also the fact that they don't have to cook as much for everyone else, since I always bring enough to share!

Good luck, I will never forget how rude some of my relatives were the first time I brought hummus to a family reunion...but trust me, it's worth it and they WILL get over it!!

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10/1/12 10:37 P

Maybe you could ask your mom to fix you something special that you CAN eat. I love to cook for my grown-up children. Maybe she makes a great fruit salad or a wonderful beef barley stew. Then the trick is portion control.

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10/1/12 8:03 P

There are a lot of good ideas on this thread!

I did want to put in my two cents for all the "starving" college kids out there... sometimes it's really hard for me to turn down food because I sometimes find my fridge empty at the beginning of the month when I've just paid all my bills and I have $0 in my account...
It is so hard sometimes to turn down food when it's FREE! and especially hard to use portion control, but I've found that if I just choose the healthiest options and try to control my portions, it all works out in the end.

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10/1/12 3:30 P

At work, I now say I'm not hungry wjhen offered food (a trick I picked up from this site). Funny though, people are so used to me eating cakes and biscuits that they look a bit surprised when I say no...
One thing I tried with some good friends (who were very slim but liked baking!) was to say, "Look, I only have enough willpower to say "no" once. So please, if I've said no once, don't ask me again". They were happy to do as I said and it made it much easier for me.

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10/1/12 3:01 P

I will try that!!!

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10/1/12 2:53 P

plan ahead as much as you can. And don't let anybody make you feel guilty about your healthy choices. A simple 'no thanks' without any further info is sufficient. Just repeat as necessary (I can hear the dialog from Young Frankenstein...that's perfect!)

when I travel, I do my best to take food with me for those times when there is nothing offered that I would normally eat.

for example, I went to visit my friend in TX for her wedding. The first morning, she sent her fiance to the bakery for fresh donuts. I don't eat that kind of stuff any more. I had packed some protein bars. And I went to the grocery with her so I could buy some fruit.

I just got back from a trip to Louisiana. I took a bag of apples, some pumpkin seeds, and some protein bars with me. When my sis & nephew had beignets in New Orleans, I wasn't hungry (I made sure to eat an apple while we were walking).

I also went to visit a friend in Gatlinburg. Same thing...I had a few things with me that I could have for a quick breakfast or snack.


just remember...
Frau Blücher: Would the doctor care for a... brandy before retiring?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No. Thank you.
Frau Blücher: [suggestively] Some varm milk... perhaps?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: No... thank you very much. No thanks.
Frau Blücher: [suggestively] Ovaltine?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: NOTHING! Thank you! I'm a little - tired!
Frau Blücher: Then I vill say... goodnight, Herr Doctor.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Goodnight, Frau Blücher.
[horses whinny]

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10/1/12 1:58 P

ARTNANRKY, you made an excellent point. I have people in my office make fun of my vegetarianism all of the time. I am tired of having to explain why I don't want to eat bacon, and watching my weight means I have to explain why I don't want to eat cake, too. Why isn't anyone having to explain to my why I should feel obligated to eat whatever junk makes it into the office?? Food and eating etiquette is so backwards and weird.

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10/1/12 1:56 P

You can allow yourself those things sometimes! But, I get what you mean. You see your friends and family eat tons of sweets and it makes you want to be able to eat what you want with no limitations! Been there so many times! My friend's boyfriend got a strawberry and vanilla cake the other day that looked amazing...But I already ate my calories for the day. So depressing sometimes...But it's definitely worth it.

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10/1/12 1:42 P

My wife, God Bless her, still expects me to finish the left overs on her plate, and seems upset when I refuse.

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10/1/12 12:22 P

If someone keeps pushing me, I ask "You know I have health problems and try to follow my doctors' advice and not eat XXXX. Why would you not want me to be as healthy as I can?" They usually stop pushing.

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10/1/12 7:52 A

At work I will say I'll have some later! At my job it will often get ate up before I get around to having some!

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10/1/12 5:29 A

The really good thing about secondhand food is that it's often free. So, I always take it when offered - and take it home for a free meal - or two meals if it's too high in calories, sugar or sodium to use in one day. The cost of food is such a desperate hardship for me, that if I can get something free, I need to take it and use it right. I consider myself very fortunate whenever anyone offers me something as valuable and costly as food - I can never afford to say no. But I don't let it ruin my own eating plan. Anyway, the offers are not frequent enough - probably because everyone finds it too costly to offer much.

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10/1/12 2:06 A

My old "stand by line" was ....No thank you, I ate before I came! Sometimes it worked...lol

But when I was with family.....from the moment you stepped through the door, they were trying to shove either food or drinks at you! I know that my mom & grandmother always tried to "love us with food"...and then they would pout and say, 'why don't you like my cooking?'

Just keep saying No thanks.....and stay strong!!

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10/1/12 12:04 A

Along these lines - do any of you get pressured to eat out with co-workers every day? I do, even when I tell them I am watching what I eat, but they don't care. A few times I took my water bottle to the restaurant with me and drank only water but I would rather eat what I packed for lunch and take a break. I cannot seem to get through to them to go without me, which they eventually do, but not after giving me a hard time about it.

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9/30/12 7:20 P

One strategy I've seen in another community (and possibly here, too) is to say, "I don't eat that." Not, "I can't eat that," but I don't. It's definitive. It doesn't offer a lot of wiggle room for people to argue. They still will, but don't can make it a lot easier to stay strong, both for yourself and when people try to persuade you. Good luck!

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9/30/12 7:09 P

I know just what you mean, Artnanrky!

I used to feel really bad turning down the cakes made for birthdays, and worried about hurt feelings. On more than one occasion I took a piece straight down to my area and threw it out, which I hated to do.

Recently, however, the head of the library said that there was no point in telling one of the supervisors that there was cake because he wouldn't come down and eat it anyway.

Someone asked, "oh, doesn't he like cake?" and she said, "no, he just worries that he'll have to do an extra hour in the gym or something stupid like that."

I said, 'what's wrong with him worrying about his weight?" but only one person heard me and rolled their eyes.

That was it for me worrying about how people feel in that place! I say no, and, like you, add a few more choice words in my head.

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9/30/12 6:04 P

Dont ya hate that? I will usually politely decline, but what also gets me sometimes is that my family eats a lot of junk but my willpower is not always on the mark. I do resist most times though. They do not really help in my endeavors!!!!

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9/30/12 3:42 P

This thread has brought some thing up for me...
I seem to be way more concerned with this than others.
Example: if someone offers me food, I worry that I will hurt their feelings if I say no. Even if I'm super polite about it...
However:
If I offer someone something and say: hey I made this (sugar free, gluten free, low fat, whole wheat, etc.) version of something and it's yummy: wanna try some? They have ABSOLUTLEY no issue whatsoever telling me, straight to my face: YUCK! I just don't eat that kind of crap you eat, I'm not weird. I like normal food. Ew: no way hippy. ETC.
People turn their nose up at 'health food' and even feel it's ok to mock it. I think I will turn the tables here and think that in my head from now on.
Example: If someone offers me some kind of sugar laden poison that I have always thought of as 'delicious treat', I will probably still be polite and just say 'no thanks', but inside: I'm going to change the dialogue to: 'ew, no way! are you trying to kill me? Yuck!...
If they can see the lovingly prepared, healthful, nutritious food that I've prepared as crap, I have to work on understanding that the stuff I ate to get me so unhealthy is actually the crap...
sigh...
I'm rabbling, but I think I've made my point.
This is a great topic. Thanks

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9/30/12 11:52 A

I think I have to practise my "no thank you"

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9/30/12 2:59 A

I just simply say no,no reasons given. If they ask I just say Im not hungry.

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9/29/12 11:02 P

i hate food waste, but i a have been learning to say "No thanks" and then change the topic before they can push.

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9/29/12 6:46 P

I agree with those who say a simple "no, thank you" is enough. There is no reason to give a reason and giving can just set it up to become a debate.

I was thinking about it. I do not drink alcohol, I have never had a problem saying "No, thank you" and have never had a problem with any one not accepting that.

I am a bit picky in my food choices. I have never had a problem saying "No, thank you" to foods I do not like and have never had a problem with any one not accepting it.

So I should also not have a problem saying "No, thank you" to foods that I do not like but would not be a good choice to eat.

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9/29/12 6:10 P

I also use the "Thanks, I'll get some later" response. No one notices that I don't eat any later.

You can also say in a regretful way, "It looks wonderful, but my doctor told me avoid xyz."

If you're at work you can also say that if you eat any of the food, candy, etc., it will make you sleepy and you've got a lot to get done.

Here's a SP article on how to deal with food pushers.
http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/nutrition_articles.asp?id=371

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9/29/12 8:44 A

Just the term secondhand food makes it less appealling to me. I also avoid candy jars and community trays of food by asking myself is it conceivable that someone sneezed all over that. I am not a germaphobe, but the thought of that helps keep my hands where they belong.

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9/28/12 6:47 P

Take the plate of what you think you want, them push half to one side and eat the rest.



Edited by: TCANNO at: 9/28/2012 (18:47)

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9/28/12 4:30 P

GREAT advice on this thread!! I work in an office where food is a constant addiction. We eat for everything and every chance we get!! I have gotten to where I can say "Oh wow, that really looks good!! I might try some later" with some force and people will not offer me any more. It's hard to turn down home-made stuff, the processed or store-purchased foods I don't miss or want at all. Every now and then, and not very often because I know me I will take 1 small spoonful--just over a teaspoon, not a tablespoon, of something that I'm really wanting. I've been on this journey long enough that they'll usually leave me alone after the first invitation, too. I've also learned to bring my own and some private, legal snacks also.

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9/28/12 4:11 P

You'll never succeed without the ability to say no. You have to learn to say, "Thanks!" and then never take a piece, a bite, etc. I told everyone I work with that I was trying to get healthier and the first part of that was a junk-food fast. People still brought their treats or had fast food for lunch around me, but they didn't pressure me to take it because they KNEW that I was trying to get better.

You just need to tell folks, "Thanks! Looks great. I'm trying to eat less ____, though."

When you're trying to lose this much weight, you have to develop a strong NO and keep it on you at all times. What's more important? Their opinion or your life? No one is going to help you lose this weight and you're going to have obstacles everyday. Birthdays, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas - and that's just in the next few months. You have got to start developing your NO right now, and get comfortable with it.

Weight loss is a journey you have to be honest and prepared for. You have to be ready to say: "This is how I will live every day for the rest of my life, and I will learn to adore it. I will choose water over milkshakes, soda or smoothies. I will choose salad over french fries. I will choose fresh fish over processed hamburgers. I will choose self-honesty over self-satisfaction. I will choose life over death. I will choose myself over food."

I hope you choose wisely.

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9/28/12 2:43 P

I went to a retirement luncheon today. First I stopped at Subway for a eggwhite sandwich with veggies. At the party I took a little bit of several homemade desserts. Funny how when people see you eating dessert, they don't notice that you didn't eat the fried chicken and potato salad.

Cincydora: It's actually been documented that we eat more when those around us are doing the same.

Saraaline: Your sister sounds like my DH - the junk food king of the world. I told him "when you eat my yogurt and oatmeal, I'll eat your snack cakes" Never gonna happen.

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9/28/12 2:21 P

It's definitely easier to eat junk when someone else is splurging. It feels less guilty. Fortunately I don't have anyone in my life that gets offended when I turned it down. And if it's something I really want and can squeeze into my plan, I wait until the other person is done before deciding to give in. That helps.

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9/28/12 1:03 P

I used to go through this with my sister -- she loves fried foods. She would always offer me something and I would always say no. And she would get mad at me, at which point I would stop whatever I was doing and leave the room. I think at one point I got so frustrated with her I massively insulted her while crying in frustration -- probably not the best of moves.
It took a while, but, I think she's finally caught on to the fact that I will not eat her fried cheese and/or popcorn chicken and/or pizza bites, etc.

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9/28/12 12:50 P

It can be hard because you don't want to seem rude, but I always try to remember that no one is forcing me to eat anything -- it's all up to me. So in the end, it's my responsibility to decide what I feed myself and what I choose to skip. Having a healthy snack alternative readily available also helps.

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9/28/12 11:52 A

I am with Nirerin! There's such wisdom in what you say!

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9/28/12 8:44 A

Wow! Great reply NIRERIN!

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9/28/12 8:36 A

you could always blame it on your doctor, and say that the doctor has given me a list of things I shouldn't consume.

However, I'm sure there are much better solutions - as so many have give you some already.

I love the wine story.
You can take things and throw it away - you have permission to do so. You're not forced to put them in your mouth. Maybe next time they won't bother offering. But, if they persist; do it again.

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9/28/12 3:47 A

Jenny my husband is vegan and had the same problems as you re going out to functions where his diet wasn't catered to. Consequently what he did do is make some of his favourite recipes to share. One such is pasta with a cashew nut and pepper topping. It is absolutely gorgeous but if cutting down on portions you have to be careful here. Quorn bacon is another which can be used on pieces of veg pastry baked with a slice of tomato. It's amazing the number of meat eaters who adore some of his dishes. Vegetable caseroles to share and vegetable sausage rolls are 2 other such popular dishes.

Edited by: ANIHAKA at: 9/28/2012 (03:48)

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9/27/12 10:16 P

I have this issue all the time at family get-togethers because I don't eat meat anymore. NO ONE brings a meat-free dish, unless it is a fruit salad or dessert. Even the SALADs have bacon bits or chicken broth in them! I have just accepted that this will always be the case, and I bring a dish *I* like and can eat, and I eat a small meal before I leave my house for the function. Otherwise, I get so hungry I load up on the meat-free stuff which is usually potato salad (ACK), high-calorie fruit salads that usually have some form of dressing in them, and desserts.

As for being offered foods, I have found that a simple, "No thank you" is usually sufficient, but if it's something someone wants me to try (and I don't want to), I try to be polite without giving in. I have even said, "It really does look delicious, but it isn't worth the time on the treadmill to me. I hope you understand."

June Minutes: 202

0 187.5 375 562.5

750

SparkPoints: (12,862)
Fitness Minutes: (4,768)
Posts: 135
9/27/12 9:03 P

Our family is entering the dreaded "Birthday Season." There are a least 10 celebrations coming up in the next 3 months plus Thanksgiving and Christmas to navigate through, and it goes on for weeks after Christmas, too. Normally, I do pretty well for the first half dozen or so, but weaken as Christmas approaches. This is my first season like this since starting with Sparkpeople; I'll have to come back to this message board to get some fresh encouragement. "Well prepared is halfway there. "
Kathie

current weight: 149.0

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130

SparkPoints: (3,077)
Fitness Minutes: (207)
Posts: 1
9/27/12 5:38 P

For me, it's my Mom's cooking that is my downfall every time. This go around, I simply asked her, with tears in my eyes, please don't tempt me. If I find the temptation too great, I have to stay away and discontinue with my weekly visits.

Pounds lost: 29.6

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Posts: 566
9/27/12 1:31 P

Since my co-workers know that I'm picky with food it's not a problem at work but at home I have a hard time just saying I'm full!

Pounds lost: 13.8

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31.4

Posts: 2,164
9/27/12 1:05 P

"No, thank you".....rinse & repeat. :)

June Minutes: 1,075

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1250

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Fitness Minutes: (9,324)
Posts: 370
9/27/12 12:44 P

I love that term! Secondhand food! That is the worst for me! My sisters and mom and I are all trying to lose weight, so when it's one of them who messes up, it's SOOOO easy for me to rationalize it for myself and join them.

Since my family and I are pretty close, it just got to the point where I ask them not to tempt me like that and that it's my weakness. But it's still hard for all of us.

Another thing I try to do when I'm tempted to make a bad choice is to go ahead and check the calorie count in my tracker. A lot of times that will scare me away!

And drink, drink, drink! Usually when I'm in that environment, I just get to keep on grazing and picking because the food is there and I need something to do. If I can just take sips of water instead or even chew on a straw that helps. And to take the food away immediately after I eat so I can't reach it. Or if I'm at a restaurant, I'll put my napkin over the food or make it inedible so I'm not tempted. :)

Pounds lost: 51.0

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Posts: 564
9/27/12 12:23 P

Its really easier if you are, in fact, not hungry. Having a meal or snack every few hours helps a lot.

current weight: 156.2

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Posts: 2,085
9/27/12 9:53 A

I luck out that at my office people will leave a treat in our breakroom or at their desk so then there's no peer pressure to eat the treat, but ultimately it's still my decision on whether I go in there or not.

There's a lot of excuses you can use: not hungry, just saying you're passing for today is fine too...if some treat isn't your thing, etc. It's okay to have a bite though or even a whole serving, but it's good to exercise some restraint in terms of not eating every treat brought in, only eat stuff you really want to try or like. If you don't think it's great after the first bite or two, don't eat the rest.

Posts: 1,337
9/27/12 9:12 A

I have read many wonderful suggestions. But I like the food allergies or even thanks I am full.

Edited by: PPELTON at: 9/27/2012 (09:58)

current weight: 214.0

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9/27/12 8:10 A

I agree with those who say less is better. At work or in a social setting I'd rather not stir the pot into opposing camps. I'm so full already usually works for me. Then there's my final fallback of my assorted food allergies if they persist. You don't want to have to call 911 do you?

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9/27/12 6:27 A

I am thinking that people with healthy eating styles do not angst about saying no. And ahem, that is US Sparkers...we are just newbies at this kind of common sense.

current weight: 3.0  over

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Posts: 2,015
9/27/12 6:12 A

I feel you!

But I've realised that saying "I'm full" or "I just had my meal/a snack" etc works better than "I'm watching what I eat" or "I'm on a diet". I'm guessing the latter puts people off and your friends will end up saying "Oh c'mon, give me a break" that kind of thing.

current weight: 130.0

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9/26/12 6:49 P

Since I was about 16, I've had trouble with sugar. My mom is diabetic and so she figured I was on that path, too. Her approach was to eat no sugar, including sugar added in pasta sauce, bread etc. The max was about 2 grams. So ever since I was 16, I haven't eaten sugar. That was hard back then. Turning away soda, cake, candy, etc. Everyone would look at me strange and ask why. I'd just say I will end up with a sugar crash and I don't like how I feel. Or I would say sweets don't agree with me. Or that I wasn't a big fan of cake, etc.

So now family and friends don't even ask any more. Sometimes they offer to be polite, but they know my answer. I guess with time, you won't have to defend your choices. If you are consistent with your answer, people will stop asking. Good luck.

Pounds lost: 22.0

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Posts: 2,543
9/26/12 3:11 P

I like the secondhand tag, it's exactly what happens to me, so far I try to avoid situations where I'll suffer from it but mostly I try to refuse the food or ask for an alternative

current weight: 155.0

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9/26/12 12:38 P

You can suddenly come down with an "allergy" of some sort. There are certain things I honestly can't eat anymore because of a sensitive stomach. Sometimes I add things to that list if people are pushing foods that aren't on my plan.

People at the office are always bringing in sweets first thing in the morning. I honestly can't eat that stuff first thing in the morning, so I tell them. "That's so nice of you to offer. I can't eat that stuff in the morning because it hurts my stomach, but if there's something left after lunch I'll probably have some." There usually isn't anything left after lunch.

Pounds lost: 12.5

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Posts: 2,050
9/26/12 10:49 A

Yep, move on however you can. I'm reminded of trying to help my kids not drink alcohol at parties when they didn't want to. I told them there is always a potted palm somewhere... LOL

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9/26/12 10:47 A

Oh those pesky food pushers - the diet saboteurs. I am quick with a "no thank you" and then change the topic to take the focus off the food. When they are extremely pushy I take the food. Sometimes I take a bite of it if they are watching and expecting you to try. But I take a tiny bite. Then when they are not looking, I just throw the food away. This may seem wasteful, but at least it is not waist full!

current weight: 176.2

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9/26/12 9:29 A

There ARE so many ways to say no graciously. I have a friend who puts it well though when she says...the word NO is a complete sentence! As women sometimes we try sooooo hard to be nice we lose ourselves and our self respect. So however we say it, we need to say it!!

current weight: 3.0  over

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-5

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Posts: 1,183
9/26/12 9:12 A

So far, I've been lucky that I haven't dealt with this too much with my friends and co-workers, because they've seen the transformation I've undergone and want to support it.

However, I'm anxious about going to visit my parents at Christmas. They understand that I've lost weight and all that, but my mom is not necessarily the healthiest cook. I tried to talk to her about it and ask about shopping on my own for some of the stuff I want during the week and she was apparently offended.

Gee, I'm sorry that I want to continue to take care of my body while I'm visiting you, but that's just how it is. At least some of the dry goods that I want with me, I can always ship...and there is a grocery that is within walking distance of their house, so I can do SOME things about my food while I'm there. :)