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AERO_NERDETTE's Photo AERO_NERDETTE SparkPoints: (6,250)
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10/22/14 4:09 P

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I can't speak completely for OP, but I think what she meant about the child being scared to go to the bathroom alone was that the experience of being locked in that room caused her daughter to regress to the point where she would refuse to go to the bathroom and end up going in her clothes. Kids deal with trauma differently; the daughter had to overcome her fear and basically go through potty training again after that experience.

I do wonder what the background of the children being "banned" is, and what the MIL's suppposed "mental problems" are. Do the kids run off and get into stuff they're not allowed? Is MIL dealing with OCD or hypersensitivity to noise/activity and the kids disrupt her pattern? Has she been officially diagnosed and is she seeking help to deal with her issues?

It sounds like OP and her hubby need to have a conversation about how they feel their kids are being shunned by their grandmother, while she shows favor to the other grandkids. I suggest a visit (without kids) to hash out what the deal really is, then slowly introduce the kids back into visiting grandma in short visits and work up to longer ones.

Just call me La. Most everyone else does.

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SW: 182.0 lb
CW: 174.2 lb
GW: 135.0 lb

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 current weight: 173.7 
 
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LUANN_IN_PA Posts: 16,108
7/8/14 11:15 A

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I think the OP needs to clarify, as several things make no sense as written!

"my MIL has mental problems, she gets very stressed and even banned the kids from going in their house. the last time we went over our 5 year old ended up locked in their bathroom "

If the kids are banned from the house, how is one locked in the bathroom?
And if you are leery of the MIL, why was the 5 year old unsupervised?

"our beautiful lil girl ended up messing herself coz she was too scared to go to the toilet, even at home. it took months to get her clean again."
What? Months to clean her up after a mess?

Things don't add up...

“We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.”
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CJGODESS101's Photo CJGODESS101 SparkPoints: (30,308)
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7/8/14 10:49 A

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What about just a short visit, maybe a few hours? Or have they been to your house. Your children need to feel comfortable, and your daughter will most likely not be comfortable in their house.



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TOFFEEMUM SparkPoints: (786)
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7/3/14 10:27 A

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my in laws havent really bothered with us or our kids, the kids are 5, 4 and 3. my MIL has mental problems, she gets very stressed and even banned the kids from going in their house. the last time we went over our 5 year old ended up locked in their bathroom and to this day she is adamant that my MIL locked her in( you can lock and unlock their doors from outside). our beautiful lil girl ended up messing herself coz she was too scared to go to the toilet, even at home. it took months to get her clean again.
Now my other half is asking if we can go and see them again. Im torn, my in laws are always very cuddly with my nieces but our kids dont get that.
Do i try again for my other half? emoticon
What would you do?




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