Almost 20 years ago, my youngest sister died as a result of an eating disorder. She was 23 years old. She was funny, bright, creative and very hard on herself. I will call her "Emmy". Two years later, I had boy/girl twins after having 3 boys (yes, 5 kids!) and I promised the powers that be that I would name a baby Emmy if one turned out be a girl and that's what happened. Emmy is 17 years old now - funny, bright, creative and very hard on herself. She has struggled with anxiety and depression these 2+ years and been hospitalised twice over it. Now, I think my girl (who looks just like her late aunt Emmy) has an eating disorder. I am really worried.
I have been careful over the years, or so I thought, to avoid talking about weight. I need to lose weight (for real) but I dare not make any dieting on my part obvious around her. My sister Emmy did need to lose weight but went too far. My daughter Emmy was small to begin with now is quite tiny.
My excess weight is more than likely a result of disordered eating too. I eat to make myself feel better, but in the long run makes me feel worse. I think I have ups and downs with a low level of depression. Yes, I've been to counselling but I never seem to get out of this rut. It doesn't help that my husband doesn't really believe in all this. He's a smarten-up-and-get-it-together kind of guy. Bad behavious? Simply stop it. Not so easy.
Anyway, that's the mess we're in.
Keep hopping. No stopping!
| current weight: 206.0