I could absolutely write a novel on this topic! My marriage has taught me that 50/50 is not an option. It has to be 100/100. We live by the principle "where you are, be all there", I've learned that I have to be fully invest in my husband our relationship. Expectations are the devil. Growing and learning in marriage are a must, the 20 year old me isn't going to be the 50 year old me, let alone the 25 year old me. Same goes for him. I learned I can't be afraid to lovingly say how I feel, but I also have to make him a place to do the same. Not everything has to be a fight. It is actually possible to disagree and not fight. Our home is peaceful and happy because we make it that way.
Run and never look back...lol. Seriously don't get married unless you are really sure and make sure you put your all into it. Being married can be really beautiful if you let it and find the right person for life. There is a perfect person for us all.
More than I can write here, but mainly it's taught me a lot more about how Jesus feels about the church (see Ephesians 5:22-31 to see what I mean) and how committed he is to her. Also, it hasn't exactly been suffering to share in love and life for the last twenty-two years with my best earthly friend!
"Rather train yourself for godliness; for while bodily training is of some value, godliness is of value in every way, as it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come" (1Timothy�4:7-8)
"Jesus answered, 'The most important [commandment] is, 'Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength'" (Mark 12:29-30).
current weight: 220.6
Fitness Minutes: (994)
1/31/14 5:12 P
I am blessed to have married my best friend. Together we have learned to compromise, trust, love deeper and no matter what we always tell each other, I love you. Marriage is not just 50/50.....it's 100/100. You both must give it all.
I'm gonna climb that mountain. Ain't no body gonna slow me down. And there ain't no way around it. Gonna leave it level with the ground. -Reba
current weight: 162.3
Fitness Minutes: (118)
1/30/14 9:13 P
Honesty, compromising, trust, and love! I have not been married very long, but have lived with my husband for almost five years. To be honest marriage did not change much in our relationship. We trust each other, let each other have space, let each other go out with out one another, set date nights with each other, help each other with anything needed, talk through our issues, and barely argue. We have learned that yelling and holding grudges do not solve problems, but if we sitt down with each other and talk about our concerns it is much less stressful and helps us keep a health relationship! =) I was blessed with a very caring and understanding husband!
current weight: 188.0
Fitness Minutes: (1,082)
1/28/14 2:31 P
Oh -ho-ho what a good question. In one sentence off the top of my head - Marriage has taught me that I am the source of my problems. The only change I have control of is within me - for changing myself.
Go a little deeper... and being married to my husband has taught me to have more compassion. I was an absolute mess for the first 7 years and my husband decided to have compassion and loved me through it. When the dust settled and I thought about things from his perspective I honestly don't know if I could have done the same. If I were challenged in the same way today I would now approach it with courage knowing there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Marriage has also taught me that although I don't need a man in my life to feel "complete", it's wonderful to have a partner (in every sense of that word) to share joys, fears, disappointments, and dreams for the future.
While I'd never advocate that someone stay in a relationship (married or not) that is in any way abusive, I feel that working through other issues has been really helpful in my development as an overall human being.
Pounds lost: 37.0
Fitness Minutes: (21,009)
1/19/14 5:14 P
Marriage has taught me that compromise and forgiveness are difficult things to do but they are essential to any good relationship. My hubby and I have been together nearly 12 years now (married for 6 years).
I come from a world where my first relationship crumbled and went into a very dark period that left me also jaded. I didn't date for seven years; I didn't want to be the person that had four ex-husbands and twelve ex-boyfriends. Not the environment I wanted for my daughter. I moved to distance myself from my ex, and got a new job, new house..started over. But never even allowed male friends into my home after nightfall and NEVER passed my living room, out of respect for my daughter and avoiding any confusion for her. Then at work while talking about my favorite video game Final Fantasy 3, a man stood up, announcing that the bad guy in that game was the best part of the game, and possibly the best in any game ever. I agreed. We were best friends ever since.
The day it grew to more scared me to death. I had not been in any form of relationship for nearly eight years by that point. But even when we first met, my daughter had fallen for the guy. She hugged him like mad every time she saw him. Even at the age of three, she saw what I didn't. I texted him about it at the end of that seven year period, when I started realizing I was thinking about him more than I should. We tried dating, and the next thing you know, we're married with a total of three children, and our five year anniversary is approaching. And for the first time I could remember...I wasn't nervous. I wasn't scared about marrying him. I was thrilled. We'd already spent a lifetime together as friends. This just worked. :)
If anything, being married to him has taught me that I don't have to be afraid of good things happening to me, and that I don't have to fight on my own. We are 50/50 right down the line. We fight like any couple, but we fight like mad not to go to bed angry. We work at it, we pray, we read our Scriptures, we spend time with the kids and we spend time with each other. We talk things out, we don't keep secrets, we share our fears, and we work together to fight them. We were best friends long before this, ghost hunting partners after that. When I completely hated men, he was the ONE exception. The one man I didn't hate.
He taught me that I don't have to do it alone. I can accept being happy and not push everyone but my children away from me. I don't always have to hold it all together myself. Sometimes, I can let the other person pick up the other end and carry the load with me. :)
Edited by: NIGHTSHADEISIS at: 1/14/2014 (20:13)
"Nobody important? Blimey, that's amazing...in 900 years of time and space I have never met anyone who wasn't important before." -Doctor Who, the 12th Doctor, "A Christmas Carol."
Pounds lost: 53.0
Fitness Minutes: (7,913)
20 1/13/14 12:31 P
Marriage has taught me that people can change dramatically, and that life is too short to spend with someone who has become awful just because of vows or "commitment".
It's possible to sacrifice too much of yourself in the name of marriage, and extremely difficult, if not impossible, to ever get it back.
Marriage has been a trap that has closed so slowly around me that I just accepted its presence and endured things I'd never let anyone else say or do to me.
Marriage has taught me that people assume marriage is a good thing for everyone, and you get assumptions and horrified looks when you present the other side of the coin. They shake their heads and say you didn't try hard enough, you didn't sacrifice enough, or that you gave up too easily, despite spending 6 of the last 12 years in hell because you were conditioned by society to think that you had to. Because Marriage, Family, Morality and What Would The Neighbors Think (as if they haven't heard him screaming at us for years).
Marriage has taught me that the erosion of love is nearly unnoticeable until you one day, years later, find that the words on the tip of your tongue are "I hate you". You put up with small things, day in, day out. You let little things slide in the name of love. The shoes in front of the closet, the hairs in the sink from shaving, the yelling a bit too harshly at the kids. And whether you realize it or not, each one carries a tiny speck of resentment with it. Each of those specks becomes a grain of sand and starts going to work, eroding the good things away.
Marriage has taught me that I'll never attach my life to a man's in this way ever again. The cost to myself and my kids is too high, and the price of escape is prohibitive enough to make it very difficult to leave.
Marriage has reminded me that single was peaceful, no matter how lonely it could be.
There will be some disappointment, or at times, a lot of it. But at the end of the day, you have someone who gave their life to you. You have love. Things will get better even when you've seen your worst.
Marriage has taught me that I don't have to LIKE my spouse all of the time to remain in LOVE with him. It is okay to completely disagree, fight, bicker, and even temporarily want to cause bodily harm to one another (LOL), as long as feeling this way goes away and is replaced by that loving feeling, the marriage can remain intact!
Marriage has taught me that commitment is not just a word .... it's an attitude and requires action. You can't just run out the door even when a major issue is involved; you need to honestly talk about & work through things. I've also learned to think more about others and less about myself. Although I've learned a lot in 24 years, I'll just close my response by saying that being married isn't about changing the other person into who /what you want them to be.
SparkPeople, SparkCoach, SparkPages, SparkPoints, SparkDiet, SparkAmerica, SparkRecipes, DailySpark, and other marks are trademarks of SparkPeople, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
SPARKPEOPLE is a registered trademark of SparkPeople, Inc. in the United States, European Union, Canada, and Australia. All rights reserved.