Time-to-shine - great idea. My MIL did the same kinda things with husband and it really gave him a clear idea how budgets work and how just because you have a job, that doesn't mean you have money for whatever you want.
current weight: 139.0
Fitness Minutes: (5,730)
2,334 3/9/14 7:08 A
I would hope that my spouse and I could manage financial matters openly in a respectful dignified manner that could provide real-life educational experience to the child. At the same time, I understand the need to vent once in a while and the desire to protect our children from fear. If money is ever an emotional topic between my spouse and me, I hope I would recognize that and work on bridging that communication gap immediately. I think a couple must have common goals, including those of how to manage resources, in order for longterm success. My family always faced adversity very openly growing up and I believe it taught us to appreciate the hard work of our parents and respect them even more. it also gave our household a "team" oriented atmosphere that drove my siblings and I to work afterschool jobs to pitch in, and to work aggressively for scholarships. Sooner or later I think every child will experience storms. I think experiencing them earlier taught us not to fear them, and to dance in the rain together.
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16
current weight: 105.0
Fitness Minutes: (412)
18 3/6/14 8:49 P
When our kids were younger, we used to give them a handheld video game or dvd player or computer game with headphones, then talk quietly across the room. We also text each other stuff or even email. Money wise, we're comfortable right now so that's not really an issue but there are always other things to discuss without the kids hearing about it until something is decided. Presents, trips, etc. Now that they're teens, stuff we don't want them to hear, we pretty much just tell them it's not their business and either go to our room or send them to their rooms. They hate knowing they're excluded but I think it's good for them to hear, this is an adult discussion and an adult decision. We've heard your opinion (if we wanted it) and we'll let you know what we decide. Keeps them from being able to divide us.
We tell our son that we need to have a grown-up conversation and shut ourselves in our bedroom. He is amazing at safely entertaining himself and he knows that he can knock anytime he needs help or feels left out. At first, you will need to recommend ways for him to entertain himself (Sponge Bob, Legos, puzzle, basket weaving, Calculus), but he will quickly catch on. In fact, you may come out to an awesome living room fort that he built as a surprise for you! Keep the sessions short (especially at first) and pop out occasionally to check up on him.
I know some people may disagree with this, but texting each other can be a great way to keep things private if you don't want the kids to see (assuming they don't have your phone in their hands of course)!
Eat to live don't live to eat. What have you done today to make yourself better than the competition? Today is a new day. No pain, no gain.
Pounds lost: 59.6
Fitness Minutes: (3,904)
2/27/14 9:09 A
That is a great point VWMOMMY, we don't have serious conversations in front of them, mainly because we don't have any. When you only have enough money to pay the bills there is really not much to discuss, lol. But if we did we would not talk about it in front of them.
100% of the shots you don't take don't go in.
current weight: 255.0
Fitness Minutes: (4,815)
294 2/25/14 7:37 P
I like Time To Shine's approach with one caveat. If it is just your normal discussion of what bills are due and when, how much have we saved for 'x', etc... then go ahead. If, however, there is serious financial troubles PLEASE find a time to have these discussions while your kids are asleep on at school. Send each other text messages if you have to. Six years old is too young for the severe stress of financial hardships to be placed on the shoulders of a first grader. I say this from experience and remember as a child bringing my elephant piggy bank down to my parents so that they could pay their bills. This isn't a thing that kids should have to deal with unless ABSOLUTELY necessary.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.- Mark Twain
Pounds lost: 9.4
Fitness Minutes: (3,904)
2/24/14 2:33 P
I know this doesn't work for everyone, but it works for us . We talk about it in front of the kids. We have three 12,9, and 6. We talk about when bills are due, how much they are. We always have. We even have are budget on a dry erase board in the all. We have it week by week and we know how much is coming out each week. We personal think that this sets a good example for them in how to budget. There have been times when we have had to juggle things and they see me erasing something and they ask so I tell them. Like I said this doesn't work for everyone, even my own mother thinks its wrong. If it is not your thing, then talk to your husband after your son goes to bed.
Hi! I'm looking for advice on how to discuss adult issues with my husband when my son is always around! He's 6 and we have a very small apartment. I don't want him worrying about finances, etc. etc. etc....
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