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My three year old is out of control.



 
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FITMOMMY1836
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2/15/14 9:03 P

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Good luck

Never giving up! I CAN do this. I WILL do this. I AM doing this!


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LUCKYTJ83
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2/5/14 10:15 P

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I would definitely recommend 1-2-3 Magic. When my husband and I still had foster children we were being trained in this program so we could handle the behaviors we were experiencing with our foster son. Unfortunately, things didn't work out with fostering, but I plan on using 1-2-3 Magic with my own children when they are old enough to understand.



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IMDADOGGIE
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2/5/14 1:54 A

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Like others I too dealt with a very active child. I refused to put my son on medication although I was told I should. I found that if my son ate anything with red or yellow food coloring or too much sugar he was really hard to deal with. I also agree that even if your child does not want to take a nap you should try to at least give him quiet time. That could be just resting with quiet music. The best thing you can do for them is Mozart, Beethoven or other classical music. Make sure the volume is low because it can get loud. It is proven to change your mood and it helps develop the brain. And lastly a schedule is really really important. You can't make a perfect schedule but if you do your best to keep bedtime the same everyday and make the day as typical as possible it will make a huge difference. Best of luck!



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AMANDAMF05
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1/30/14 3:34 P

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I have a fun system we use in our home. I started this when my oldest son was 2/3 years old. Because I felt the way you are feeling now. So this may sound funny, or cheap, to some but we use what we call the penny system. I have a chart, that has a pouch that holds Popsicle sticks. On each stick is written a chore, or a good deed. When my children do a chore, or good deed (such as sharing or making their bed) we let them find that stick and put it in a pouch that has his, or her, name on it! At the end of the day we discuss their good behavior, and if needed, what we could do to help improve their good behavior. Then we reward them with a penny for each stick they earned. Now a penny may seem cheap to a lot of people, but my children have learned the value of a penny, and are very appreciative for what they have. Do not get me wrong, I am not saying my kids are saints, just saying I think this system has done wonders for each of my children. And it works for most all young ages. I have a 2 year old, two 5 year olds, and an 8 year old. And they all seem to do well and improve with this system. Anyways, after two weeks we let them count their pennies up and if they want to spend them they may. If they want to save them for something more expensive they can. This also lets them be a bit independent, by buying their own toys or snacks with the money they earned! =) Maybe this would be a fun idea for you and your son! =)



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BREAKOUTMOMMY
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1/20/14 5:44 P

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One thing that I find as a parenting coach is the importance of remembering that parenting is NOT a one size fits all proposition. There are a lot of good suggestions that have already been posted like the importance of knowing what is age appropriate for your child. Putting a variety of tools in your parenting toolbox by reading good parenting books or attending classes like 123 Magic is also a great idea as well as asking parents that you respect who have succcessfully raised kids past the stage you are. :) All these are GREAT suggestions! Just make sure that you also know what will and wont work with your value system of personality. There is no such thing as one size fits all parenting. :)

Just keep swimming because slow and steady wins the race- Dorie the Fish and the Tortoise and the Hare


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FUNNYGIRLJESS
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1/11/14 9:34 P

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I find great parenting and discipline advice from Focus on the Family podcasts.
I give my boys a routine, nap OR quiet time...they throw fits, but they now know to EXPECT that 1 to 2 hour of quiet time each day.
Kids do better when they know what's expected of them. And sometimes they get anxious about not knowing what's going to happen later in the day, or tomorrow...so maybe let him know the plan. Don't say "only if you're good"...just say how excited you are to be doing things with him.
If he needs a consequence, turn off the computer, tv, anything really and have him read books all day.




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SUNSET09
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1/8/14 9:01 A

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Everyone talks about leaving the planet a better place for our kids. We should also leave better kids for our planet!
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CAANDAHL4
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10/11/13 7:22 P

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Hi,
There is ALWAYS a antecedent (reason) for EVERY behavior.My favorite books that address behaviors are "The explosive child","Driven to distraction" and "parenting with love and logic"

Behaviors need to be addressed when kids are little,if not then 99% of the time its gets worse,especially after they start school and they have more demands on them.



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RBRASHER
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10/6/13 2:46 P

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OK, I haven't read all the responses but I have had similar problems with my kids. Crazy, hyper, emotional, etc. I dropped excessive sugars, dyes, and most of the gluten (my boy has eczema that requires him to be GF). The only time we have problems now is when they get a bunch of candy with a bunch of junk. Diet is key in our house. I don't know about yours. Worth a try.

Rebecca

Making the right decisions one decision at a time!


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SOCAL_LEE
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10/6/13 12:09 A

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I think it's important to understand what we can and can't expect from our children at different ages. A three year old is probably going to spend a lot of time running, jumping, yelling, and resisting structure and commands, and that's developmentally appropriate. Of course you want to help him learn how to exercise some self-control, but it's going to be a long process. Your son might not have liked soccer because he had to remember and obey a lot of rules; another activity, like swimming or trampolining, might work better for him.

"How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk" is a really helpful book. It focuses on helping us communicate with our children instead of talking AT them -- it helped me reframe the way I spoke to and with my kids.



FLUFFYBUNNY88
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10/1/13 4:02 A

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Oh no!! You should talk to your caregivers! I am a nanny and I know it is hard, but that is what we are getting paid for. I take care of 2,5 year old twins and sometimes it takes me 40 times before they stay in their beds. It is a job, but nobody made me do it! I chose it myself.



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STEELERGURL
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9/30/13 7:44 P

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My 9 year old always needed a nap. And she needed to wake up on her own. If I had to wake her it was a nightmare. At nap time I would read her a story and lay with her for a while. and I got her one of those cds for kids and played it for her.

~Shauna~ :)


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AV_MOM2
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9/25/13 12:59 P

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I have a four year old who is very active and hyper. I have learned that he absolutely has to have a nap. If not we have a very bad day. He doesn't always feel tired but I make him lay down anyhow. Even if he doesn't go to sleep I make him lay down and watch his favorite movie (The Bee Movie) and tell him it is time to rest. As he is getting older his behavior is improving. On the weekends I make sure he is super busy to burn off energy. Early morning bike rides are a great way for him to burn energy and wear himself out for a noon time nap. As he gets older his behavior is improving, so stay prayerful and try to enjoy the good days.



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RGOMBAR
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9/24/13 11:26 P

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I have a 3.5 year old who tends to get very out of control. We've been making a lot of progress but I still have A LOT of challenging days so I feel you. Someone recommended a book to me called 1-2-3 Magic. I read it and started implementing the tactics and it has done WONDERS!!!
My daughter also gave up naps very early on however, if we're driving around and she falls asleep (which is very often), she's out for the count and I'm able to transfer her into bed to sleep. For me, I think a large portion of our issues is due to lack of sleep. We have a very calming bedtime routine every night but she still fights me tooth and nail and many nights I can't get her down until past 10pm...it's ridiculous!!! I know she needs a nap during the day but I work full time and my caregivers just aren't persistent enough to get her down (argh!). Sometimes I insist on her having "quiet time" in her room when I know she is over tired. At least that gives us both time to decompress. How does your child sleep? Could that be a contributing factor?

I feel your pain...hang in there because this WILL pass just like everything else...as long as you can establish who is in control ;) Try the book too...I think it's great!



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JDRAMASMAMA
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9/24/13 9:58 A

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Hello everyone! I have a 3 year old who is my only child and his behavior is out of control.I have tried time outs, taking away privileges (PBS kids website) and skipping play dates. He is very hyper so I thought I would sign him up for soccer to help him get some energy out.Instead he played a total of 20 minutes out of two games and refused to play after that.He stopped napping, so now I can barely get anything done, and I feel like I do not have any control anymore.Is anyone else dealing with this issue, and if so do you have any tips?
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