Date nights are awesome, and it's not a bad idea to make kid/work talk off limits (or kept to a minimum) during your special nights out. Also, making sure you each have some semblance of "me time" helps tremendously. That might mean a quiet bath or grocery shopping without the kids once in a while (yes, I have a very sad definition of "me time" sometimes!), but even better would be a gym membership (with childcare!), the occasional pedicure and even dinner/drinks out with the girls. Sometimes that's all it takes to feel like a real grown-up person again, and not *just* a mom/wife/housekeeper.
I know that last statement might get me in trouble with some women who don't feel there's any "just" about it. BUT: I know I've gotten lost before in supporting my husband's career and raising my kids. I'm a SAHM and military wife, and I had no definition of myself outside of what I am to other people. I had no hobbies and never made any decisions based on what "I" wanted. It was hard to be an equal partner in our relationship when I didn't know who "I" was.
For me the fix was finding a great group of female friends (very low-drama and highly supportive military wives whose husbands are NOT connected to my husband through work) and working on my own fitness/nutrition goals. These things combined keep me mentally and physically balanced, and I'm a happier woman when he gets home at night. I'm more comfortable with my body, I'm not stress eating, I have more energy in and out of the bedroom, and I have an outlet for my daily stresses (my girlfriend gab time) so I don't unload on him the moment he walks through the door. It makes our together-time that much easier, and we've definitely grown closer as a couple. Hope it helps.
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