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Unwanted advice



 
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SIMONEKP
SIMONEKP's Photo Posts: 2,422
6/13/13 9:45 A

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Your husband probably thinks he's being supportive by offering suggestions. Talk to him and let him know what kind of support you would appreciate and what's not helpful.

Simone

"Patience and perseverance have a magical effect before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish." - John Quincy Adams

No matter how slow you go, you're still lapping everyone on the couch!
Source: unknown



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REDNBLUE27
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6/11/13 2:44 P

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I know exactly how you feel. People are always trying to give me unwanted advice on how I should be working out and what I should be doing. I even got accused of not going to the gym and just lying about it because my weight wasn't coming off as fast. It almost got to the point where I was almost ready to give up and stop going to the gym because I was basically told it wasn't working. I would say just take it all with a grain of salt and don't let it get to you. Just say I appreciate your advice but I already know what I'm going to do.



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VWANT21
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6/7/13 10:55 P

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I agree with the jealousy thing. My mother does the same thing, and my father also comments about how jealous she is that I'm accomplishing something.



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GLITTERFAIRY77
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6/7/13 4:44 P

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OH MAN. I could have written that myself, ASBLOWRY. I finally had to go off on my kids' father for that.
A couple times, actually.
1) Any nutrition or exercise advice he has is from his wrestling and football coaches from the late 70's to mid 80's. Really dated.
2) I lost weight before and I know what I am supposed to do as opposed to what I am not supposed to do.
3) I have spoken with nutritionists, done actual research, and took TWO elective college nutrition courses for my own benefit.
4) I am keeping track of what I eat. I am keeping track of my activity. I am steady losing weight and inches, while he keeps gaining.
5) Like I told him, eating one salad once in a while is about as effective as doing one push up.
It has been about 3 months since he has opened his mouth to question me about what I am eating or if I should be eating it. I am MAKING steady progress, so he doesn't need to worry about that.
Sometimes, you have to tell them to back the eff off when it comes to certain things, especially when your way has proven to be successful.

MamiSheli53 is my MOM!!!

Abi~Rochester, NY

Aim for progress...NOT perfection.

Starting weight July 2012: 310
(dates of accomplishment for the following to come)
GW1: 280 passed 2/8/13-278!
GW2: 250
GW3: 220
GW4: 200
GW5: 175

I can do ALLLLLL things through Christ who strengthens me.


"It's a long, hard climb-but I'm gonna get there."

"If you stay focused on the past, you will never be able to see what lies ahead."


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CHELHART
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6/6/13 11:31 A

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I'm agreeing with the jealousy thing. Not so much that he's afraid that you'll leave, but you are making changes while he is making excuses. You're bettering yourself while he is remaining stagnant. You're life's getting better, and his is staying the same. (You see my point)



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LENATROXTELL88
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6/5/13 10:54 A

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It sounds like he might be jealous to me. He is watching you change your life and maybe he is scared you will leave or something. I don't know. Try talking to him. Encourage him to do a small workout with you. If that doesn't work tell him that you are doing this to make sure your life is healthy, and if he doesn't have some helpful words than he just shouldn't say anything. Good luck!



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TIME_TO_SHINE1
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6/4/13 3:30 P

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I hate unwanted advise. My husband was like that for a while. I am a bit mouthy and I tell him to more less keep his mouth shut if he is not going to say something nice and supporative and after a while of my snapping at him he as learned to just support me and not say anything about what I am doing or eating. We would not fight about it or anything, but I would let him know how he makes me feel when he says things, or trys to give me advise. Now he actually asked me how my workouts were and how my journey is going in general.

If trying to lose weight is something you have been through before and given up on, your hubby may think, oh this is just another phase and things will go back to normal. It may take time for him to realize that this is the way things are going to be. I know it took mine a while to finally see that this time I ment that this weight was coming off.

I know husbands can be a challange, maybe if you talk to him about it and let him know how it makes you feel and that you don't want his advise, you want him to support you he may stop.

Edited by: TIME_TO_SHINE1 at: 6/4/2013 (15:32)
100% of the shots you don't take don't go in.

( I heard the quote early in my career and it has stock with me. I love it. )


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ASBLOWRY
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6/4/13 10:16 A

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This is more of a vent than anything. I have been on my journey for almost two years now and have lost 30+ lbs. I lost that weight within the first 9 months and have kept it off and now concentrate on strength training to maintain along with some cardio here and there.
My husband is about 100 lbs overweight. He has never shown any interest in eating healthy or exercising with me BUT always has "advice" for me on how I should eating or working out. He ALWAYS has an excuse for not exercising. Something always hurts, his back, shoulder, knees, something. He doesn't think that a person really needs to eat healthy as long as they workout and once whatever is hurting gets better then he will start working out. Well, that day has never come and I'm sure never will.
So, just about everyday he has some sort of advice for me and it's driving me crazy. I've gotten to where I exercise before he gets home and make the foods that he likes for dinner but just eat a tiny portion of it and fill my plate with vegetables. He always has a remark about it but I just try to ignore it.
How do you deal with unwanted advice when it comes from someone who is supposed to support you but you feel is actually trying to sabotage you?



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