Hi - this is my first time posting on a message board like this so I am hoping I will be able to find some connections and support via this process.
First let me spin off a little background - Back in March of 2006 I opted to have a lapband put in to help me start the process of making my life healthier. I lost a decent amount of weight with it, but it ended up being a nightmare for me. The surgery was reversed in Nov of 2006 due to complications internally and my body rejecting it, my post op weight was 364.5. After 2 weeks in the hospital and a 22 inch scar, with an incisional hernia later...I am about to go through the process again.
I am kind of at a crossroads -I have a couple of options - I have decided to have something done called a stomach sleeve - it is another bariatric surgery, that basically turns a portion of the stomach into a tube - there are no reroutes like Gastric, there are no foreign objects inserted like the lap band that I had many years ago. This is a 2 fold thing though...there are a lot of steps in between - My Doctor said it is done laproscopically but due to my hernia they may have to make an incision, something that they will not know until they get in. The procedure is done and heal time starts. During this phase I will be able to lose a substantial amount of weight, the doctor then would go back in for a second surgery to repair the hernia - which could be 6 - 12 months after the first procedure is done.
He is willing to do just a plain hernia surgery but there is a 50% chance that it will reoccur in a few years because of weight and the tension on those muscles from being heavy - even if the weight-loss is slow as it has been - I am back down nearly to post op weight of 379 after I sailed back up to over 430 pounds, but it still isn't enough to guarantee a hold. He does not want to preform both surgery's together for safety reasons and possible risk of infection.
I was not going to share this because of my own pride or seek out support...but as they say...Pride goeth before the fall and I have come to the conclusion it is not because I haven't tried - the substantial loss since last October proves that - at least to myself - That I have not fallen or failed but only got on this journey - and its slow and steady. Fear is the biggest issue that I am dealing with...but I am working on it. I have to much in my life that is going good and I want to have it all continue for a very long time to come - I was lucky enough to find in my life so many things to continue to make this decision for. I have prayed about it and I know that Gods hand is on me...as it always has been and it is his desire for me to be happy, healthy, and well adjusted. To be able to live life to its fullest and be a positive example for my children.
Yet with all this being said - my anxiety level is through the roof, I know its what I need to do. This hernia will do nothing but get worse - its grown substantially over the last 6 years, I dont want to be ripped open again from stem to stern. I remember the pain all to well and what a mess things were after the fact. Part of it is dying on the table and never seeing my kids again, there are so many things that run through my head - I just don't know how to sort it all out in my head so this is why I am here...I may be rambling but hah....its all so mind boggling....
| current weight: 368.0