Any attachment parents out there?

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10/18/12 9:45 A

Sorry to say, but it's hard enough to get yourself on board, let alone, convincing and encouraging another to do it. The best you can do is focus on getting this right and done by you, if it is meant to be and your spouse sees the results are there, hopefully he'll get on board. But we all have different driving forces and they don't all happen at the same time. Keep the faith.

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10/18/12 2:21 A

I hear ya. I have no idea how you juggle seven kids, my hat is off to you. Sounds like we share quite a few common factors here. If I find the answer I'll be sure to let you know. Till then,I get that the best things to do are be persistent and concentrate on nutrition. We'll get there.

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10/18/12 2:12 A

This is apparently not a special challenge to me alone. Feels like it, but as I see here, not a new challenge. I have 7 kids with two being special needs where day care and going out can be impossibe. My DH also does not support my health changes. He feels that we do not have the time to focus on "such selfish pursuits". I feel that if I am to meet the demands of my family that bettering my health and losing the excess weight from my consecutive pregnancies is a must. I practice yoga at home and during the homeschool pe program at our local y I work out for 45 minutes. That is about all I can fit in right now. Most important has been controlling what I put in my mouth. Chosing foods that work with me instead of against me has been key. The most difficult is dealing with the lack of support. I feel like I'm on this journey alone. He wants me to join him in dining out and eating snacks, but he won't join in the exercise and help find time for it. Still working that stuff out in my marriage I guess. Anyone have ideas about getting DH on board?

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10/16/12 9:08 P

Crying is not beneath me. DH might need a bit of a tantrum to convince him.... .

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10/16/12 7:33 P

I'm in the same boat. My son is only 8 weeks old and cries every time I put him down. I have to squeeze in a shower during his long morning nap, and I barely get that in some days. My husband works 10-17 hour days so I can only workout on the weekends. I think I'm going to start trying to wake up early (or just stay awake after a morning feed/change) and go for a workout before my husband leaves for the day so I can get at least 1 workout in during the week.

As far as convincing your husband about 'me' time and working out, I'd keep stressing it, then start crying, then if you need to, just leave the baby with him. He'll get the idea. Not very mature, but I had to do the crying thing a few weeks ago and my husband finally got the picture.

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10/16/12 5:46 P

You are so right about the cookies lol! I definitely am trying to get a handle on the nutrition angle as it is paramount. Thank you for your response!

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10/16/12 5:43 P

To APRILELLIS01: I agree, i'm having to adjust from a gym work out mentality to something more flexible. I've caught myself getting really frustrated over not having a set amount of time to make exercise happen. Just have to get more flexible. Thank you for the comments!

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10/16/12 5:34 P

To whoami9999

Your suggestions are great, thank you. His naps and the stroller are my best line out defense. My D. H. Doesn't really grasp the concept of me time but I will continue to further his education on the subject. Thanks again for your ideas.

Lauren

Edited by: LRENEAO at: 10/16/2012 (17:35)

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10/16/12 4:02 P

I have a two year old daughter, and a Husband with a hectic work schedule. I work out almost everyday and include my daughter! I do work out at home, she does Zumba with me (she does her own little twist to it) She plays with her toys while I run, and she loves getting pulled in the wagon which helps me get a good walk in around the neighbourhood. I used to work out in a gym and found it so difficult to exercise, I felt guilty for being away from my daughter! Now doing it at home has kept me motivated to do it daily, and I feel like I am not missing out on any time with my daughter!

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10/16/12 1:49 P

Children make things difficult, but not impossible. You will have to figure out YOUR best times and things to keep you healthy and fit. Remember, 80% of this plan is nutrition, make sure that is your first focus. You can do that with a cookie cruncher hanging on you all day. LOL

That being said, as a parent that successfully raised two kids and am now doing substitute teaching for pre-K through 12th, I see all kinds of various situations out there. Many times I have seen kids crying and latching to their parents as they drop them off. Once the parent leaves, those kids usually focus on their new little friends. I've yet to see one continue to make a fuss until their parent is called to come pick them up. So find your best times and don't worry so much about the little ones being so needy. That's their job, yours is to help them get out of that phase. Small steps but constant steps are needed to make those little ones become self reliant.

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10/15/12 4:16 P

Can you workout before or after he goes to sleep, or at nap time like someone suggested? Find stuff you can do in the house - you don't need gym equipment. Exercise videos or spark videos are great, or you can do jumping jacks, pushups, sit ups, dancing around, or anything else you can think of while your son is awake - he can "do" them with you or play nearby. If he insists on being attached, use his body weight as resistance. Do you live somewhere where you can go outside in the winter? Take him to the park and be as active as you can there. If he can run, chase him around. Work out your arms pushing him on the swing. Do the monkey bars while he watches you, and then hold him up so he can do them too. Can you put him in a stroller and either power walk or run with him in the stroller?

You said your husband wasn't supportive of your weight loss, but if you just can't get a workout in any other way, you need to talk to him and say, "I need to do this so I can be a better wife and mom. Can we just work out a few times a week that I can have some "me time"?

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10/15/12 11:30 A

I feel your pain! I have several friends and relatives that have kids that wail around strangers, and can't do gym childcare. It is heartbreaking. For some reason my daughter does that at the church nursery, even though not at the gym.
I guess my further advice is to put as much energy as you can into nutrition, and try to do short bursts of exercise when your son is sleeping. You don't have to do long sessions of exercise to be fit or to lose weight!

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10/15/12 10:55 A

I am a first time mom. My little guy is 19 months and full of energy of course. The difficulty I have with non familial childcare is his severe separation anxiety. I'm sure he'll grow out of it but for now he wails like he's in anguish over my leaving and does not do strangers. For the time being, I'm just trying to work around the circumstances. Thanks for the advice!

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10/14/12 5:26 P

Are you a first time parent? How old is your baby? Why can't you bring your baby to child care at the gym?

I have a 2 yr old, and 1 month old twins. I was not totally an attachment parent with my first, but pretty close. She spent all of my waking hours for the 1st 6 months being held or carried in a Baby Bjorn. I used to go for long walks with her, and I tried some baby/ mom exercise videos.
Now that I have 3 under 3, and am not an octopus, true attachment parenting is not physically possible!

I bring my older kid to the gym childcare, and she loves it. I will bring the babies there when they are a little older. I joined when my older kid was 6 months old. It was honestly the best thing I did. I could get in an hour of exercise 3-4 days a week. I didn't have to wait for her perfect nap, and I didn't have to keep an ear out for her cries.

Other ideas include having a neighborhood kid come over during your exercise time for 30-45 minutes a few days a week, and doing a quick exercise DVD for yourself. I know that the junior high kids don't charge as much, and as long as you are at home for immediate consultation, that might be a good idea.

I have let go of the guilt of letting someone else watch my kids for awhile so I can get in my exercise several times a week. I am a better, more joyful, patient and grateful mom when I take care of me!

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10/14/12 4:29 P

I want to enjoy my child and being a mom. I feel a responsibility to be healthy for my family. That being said, how do you squeeze in exercise with a high need child? The hubby isn't being supportive of my weight loss efforts and I just can't leave my child with a gym child care facility. Any ideas for consistent exercise?

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