My boyfriend loves me, even with my extra. He doesn't care. Now not all men are like that, some are superficial about looks. If your guy wants you to be fitter because he is concerned about your health, that is ok. But if it's just because he doesn't care for a fluffy gal, then maybe keep looking. Your guy should love you the same amount no matter what size you are.
Feed your head.
current weight: 237.0
Fitness Minutes: (295)
20 11/5/13 1:46 P
"I just cry and think about everything and I just want to find my true love"
You have to love yourself first. Have you seen a doctor and discussed possible depression?
“We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.” ~ Randy Pausch
"There's a difference between interest and commitment. When you're interested in doing something, you do it only when circumstance permit. When you're committed to something, you accept no excuses, only results." ~ Art Turock
"We have a saying in Tibet: If a problem can be solved, there is no use worrying about it. If it can't be solved, worrying will do no good." ~ 7 Years in Tibet
Fitness Minutes: (72,401)
11/5/12 8:31 A
Does your boyfriend say things to make you feel this way? Or is this how you feel about yourself?
I am going to give you a few hard truths here;
1) If you are losing weight for someone else and not yourself, you will fail.
2) I will admit I could *tell* my husband was less attracted to me physically when I was overweight. But he still loved me, he still showed he loved me and he has been a very encouraging and positive supporter during my weight loss. He never once told me I needed to lose weight. It was entirely my decision. One of the most encouraging things he said to me when I started losing weight is that he was more attracted to me and feels like he's falling in love with me all over again, not because I was losing weight but because I was finally acting like I care about myself and I was so much more happy. Which was all true and meant so much to me to hear him say that.
3) As a person who has suffered from eating disorder since I was 12 years old, I can tell you that they are not pretty. And if you have a lot to lose, you will lose a crazy amount of weight in the beginning and then it will stop completely and you will end up in the hospital or dead before you manage to lose just one more pound. You will never see your goal weight.
4) You will slow your metabolism down to a crawl and will not be able to eat like you could of (normally) without *gaining* weight. For example: Let's say you're only eating 300-500 cals a day. Your body will think it's starving and go into fat storing mode. So where you could have lost weight eating 1400-1800 cals, you will now gain weight if you try to eat over 1000 cals.
5) Because of 4 you would have to keep it up for the rest of your life, eating between 300-500 cals to keep the weight off. Which obviously isn't possible because you'd eventually end up in the hospital or dead before long. You will also be extremely prone to binge eating. You will be dying to get some food in you so every now in then you'll just go absolutely crazy and eat everything in sight which will leave you in a limbo of not losing any weight or even gaining more weight.
6) You will lose a ton of lean muscle which will leave you looking flabby, "skinny fat". You will have tons of loose skin from losing the weight too quickly.
7) I know it probably feels like losing the weight you want is a lifetime away but you have to look at it as getting "healthy" not losing vanity pounds. Losing the pounds is just a result of getting healthy. I promise if you look at it that way and make that your mantra, you will be far more successful in losing the weight, sticking to the program and keeping it off.
I suffered from depression and low self-worth when I was heavier but changing my mantra to getting "healthy" and taking care of myself over losing the weight has made me feel so empowered and my depression has disappeared. I am so proud of myself for a change and all the positive changes I've made for *myself*.
Focusing on eating healthy, balanced, clean foods and exercise changed how I feel about myself. I watched my heart rate drop from 80-90 bpm to 60 bpm (that of a professional athelete). Strength training has made me stronger and standing for long periods of time and cardio easier. I no longer get out of breath doing simple chores and I have tons of energy. I went from only being able to handle a 20 mins of cardio to over 60 mins. I couldn't jump before without hurting my knees, ankles or calves and now jumping is a breeze. 99% of my meals are now cooked from scratch when I couldn't cook to save my life 4 months ago. I now get all the required nutrients, vitamins and minerals to keep my body healthyThese are just some of the things you can focus on rather than the scale, which is vital when you have a lot to lose.
Some more encouragement, my sister lost 110 lbs using Spark. She is definitely my inspiration.
"Toning" is marketing muscles to women who are afraid if they pick up a barbell, they'll leave the gym looking like She-Hulk. It doesn't happen, what does happen is you get results. Lifting Barbie weights does nothing but waste time.
90 Maintenance Weeks
Fitness Minutes: (295)
20 11/2/12 3:21 P
do this- and other things- for yourself. not someone else.
“You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You're on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who'll decide where to go...” ― Dr. Seuss, Oh, the Places You'll Go!
Weight loss should never be about love of someone else. You need to love yourself, first. If he has an issue with your weight, you shouldn't be with him - he is being selfish and self-centred.
Ditch the guy and find someone who will treat you like the most beautiful woman ever, no matter what your size.
And if you do need to lose weight, do it for you and your health, not by refusing to eat, but by moving your body. I had to find out the hard way I wasn't eating enough for how much working out I was doing. Spark trackers are awesome for doing that.1
current weight: 264.0
Fitness Minutes: (14,252)
9,661 5/22/12 5:24 P
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