my husband throws me off track

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5/3/13 8:38 P

my hubby is skinny as rail and can eat anything and everything in big portions and does not exercise nor does he want too.
So my exercise and new eating life style program is a bit lonely.

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5/3/13 5:57 P

Now... the hubby is being rather supportive and I am eating better I have hit a plateau.... 173 for months...

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1/14/13 12:28 P

My husband does the same thing. He knows I am trying to lose weight, as well as spend less money. So what does that translate to? I sent him to Walmart for groceries with a list, and he ends up buying 4 of the family sized bag of my fave chips that I can't resist. 4! We go grocery shopping every weekend, so even buying 1 bag would be sufficient if he just wanted some chips. Buying 4 bags pretty much ensures that we will eat those 4 bags throughout the week. I asked him why he bought 4, and he said its because they were on sale. You know whats better than buying 4 bags of chips onsale? Buying NO chips and spending no money on them.

I asked him to be a little more conscious next time, but its more likely that I will have to take care of the grocery shopping myself if I want to stick to a budget and a healthy eating plan.

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1/9/13 1:00 A

My husband used to eat whatever he wanted and kept junk food stashed throughout the house... even in the bedroom... well, all it took was him finding a girlfriend, and now... I don't have that problem anymore... he moved OUT and I have finally started to lose that weight!

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1/6/13 7:08 P

It could be that they really like you how you are and see you as perfect. Or it could be like one guy I was dating seriously who didnt like it, was doing the same things and kind of all around didnt like it. I finally asked him why he wasnt supporting me and what he was thinking. He thought that if I lost a lot of weight, I wouldnt keep dating him. I had never thought he was thinking that, or had even considered it. Men can be kind of stubborn and they may not want to day that out of pride, or they just dont want to upset the other peron, yet they are upsetting the other person or frustrating them without fully realizing it. I suppose if you add kids, work and possibly not a lot of time for each other and you are married or living together. It may come up naturally or just because of business where you try something new and they forgot about it or werent paying the greatest attention when you started everything and they dont understand or like what you are doing. It took a little bit to get him to answer and he seemed kind of embarrassed about it or like he didnt want me to see he was thinking that, but it helped and reassuring him and trying to deal with the weight loss in a different way was easier even thought he relationship ended for other reasons.

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1/6/13 6:54 P

I have told my husband I want to lose weight. He tells me he loves me the way I am. I am grateful for that, but I still want to lose the weight.

I have been gradually introducing more veggies and fruit into the house. My oldest son will try just about anything, and he loves fruit and veggies! The youngest will lick the outside of a strawberry and tell me he doesn't like it. Daddy won't eat that much fruit or veggies in front of them, but he loves salads. I have started making his lunches for him (he could use a tune-up as well) so he doesn't buy crap off the coffee truck, and some of the other guys have been mentioning how good his sandwiches look.

Every now and then, he will bring chips and other munchies into the house, but that doesn't seem to bother me. I don't eat them -- use to love them, but decided they were not worth the extra work involved. He will also bring me a Bounty chocolate bar, and I am unable to resist those! He has done that maybe 3 times since the good stuff has started making an appearance, so I figure these are my "cheat" items.

In our house, it's not just Daddy that throws me off track -- the kids are just as bad with McDonald's, Subway, Burger King, Wendy's -- you get the idea! All I can do is make the best choices I can, and work with it from there. Don't beat yourself up! Just love him for even thinking of you!

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1/6/13 6:02 P

Old habits die hard-it sounds as if unhealthy eating is habitual, and your husband is comfortable with it-your trying to change your eating behaviors and lose weight might scare your husband...change is scary. He may wonder if you will try to start changing other things, including him, or he just isn't ready himself to change his dietary habits. I do wonder if he fears your change in lifestyle might leave him in the dust. Have you had a conversation with him about this? He may not be ready to change his dietary habits in which case you will have to do it on your own and rely on will power. I hope he sees your point and joins you in better eating habits.

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1/4/13 3:37 A

My husband sometimes comes home with food I don't want, he came in yesterday with a bag of croissants. I can't eat them but he doesn't think. I did have a few over Christmas as a treat so he thinks they are okay again. I have had to sit down and explain to him exactly what foods I do and don't want. I know he is only trying to do something nice and I really do appreciate the gesture but I'm trying to get healthy for all our sakes not just my own and its important he knows what he can do to help.

current weight: 182.0

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1/2/13 3:06 P

My husband did set me off track yesterday. He took me to McDonalds and I got a saucage biscuit. But the rest of my day I was good. I stacked wood for three hours straight and then I canned homemade chicken soup until 11pm and then I did my 1 mile walk. It is for a challange on another page. 365 miles in a year. He took the boys to dairy queen for dinner and I got a side salad no dressing. I came home and had chicken breast and cottage cheese and apple slices.

I think I would have easily gone off if I hadn't read your posts before I headed out the door.

Thanks

Kim G

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12/31/12 10:52 A

Hi,I am Kim mom to four plus my nephew. My girls are 21,20, and 18 and my son is 15 and my nephew is 14. My husband and kids do the same thing to me. They rarely care for the healthy meals I cook and they will bring junk in the house or have friends out and bake cookies. My husband tries, but he has to make negative comments on everything I cook.

Here is what I am trying: 1.) I used my foodsaver to seal my lettuce in pint jars. This is cheaper for me because I have a lot of jars. This is a serving size of lettuce.
2.). I will make my healthy meals and if the crew doesn't like it they can have a sandwich.
3.). I am planning a weeks worth of meals. This can be time consuming, but worth it in the long run.
4.). I am going to limit the cookie making to once a month. Hopefully they will cook them and put them away while I am not home.

Try to make a plan and stick to it. It is hard at first ( I have done this before) but you are worth it. I got messed up before because my in laws came for an extended stay and I could only use my kitchen from about 2pm on. When they come this summer I intend to have already stock pile frozen healthy meals that I prepared before they get here. That way they can cook what they want and all I really need is the oven or microwave.

I also garden and can. I have a pressure cooker canner so I can beams, meat, stews, and soups. We had a bumper crop of apples, Italian prunes and cherries this last year. All organic and free off our trees. I canned a lot last summer and fall. I didn't get a fall/winter garden in and now I am stuck with store bought lettuce and veggies. Next year I will have my garden all year round!

Kim

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12/3/12 9:08 A

Everytime I try to diet, my husband does this. It is very unintentional. He does not see the temptation he is putting before me. My kids are just as bad. I am trying to go at this for a while on my own. Money is tight, so we can't eat out a lot. I am hoping if I plan healthy meals and keep snacks mostly out of the house for "financial" reasons that it will help.

current weight: 242.2

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12/2/12 5:01 P

Instead of hurting your husband's feelings when he is just trying to be sweet and treat you, you could just have a smaller portion of what he brings home and take off some calories the next day, as well as go for a post-dinner walk together. I do that all the time because my guy's love language is food, and believe me, the tension over food and the feelings of resentment are not worth it because life is short and my husband is out of town so much. Ultimately, it is not really your husband's fault if you overeat, even though it is "his fault" that you lose control over the menu at times.

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11/26/12 3:29 P

There are times when my hubby will get me things that might tempt me to be sweet and I have learned to say no. It is hard but he will understand. I know that might sometimes get upset but he has shown an appreciation for my new new slender figure so I guess while he might be upset or hurt at first he will get over it.

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11/26/12 1:46 P

JADOMB ... go to Red Lobster's website and look at their nutrition menu. They actually have some decent choices and they are really good about leaving off the extra butter if you ask them.

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11/26/12 1:44 P

I know how you feel. My husband is not obese ... he could stand to lose 10 or 15 pounds and maybe do some muscle-building, but that's it. He doesn't understand what it's like to be so overweight and to have to work so hard. Is this the first time your hubby has done something like this? If so, maybe he doesn't "get it" just yet. Explain to him what you're doing and why it's so important to you. Let him know you need his support. If it's not the first time, then it may be time for you to evaluate your relationship. Do a Google search on "emotional abuse".

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11/19/12 6:27 P

it certainly sounds like you need to clue your husband in on how to ''treat'' the new you :) thank him for being thoughtful, enjoys a little bit of the chinese food and then mention how a movie and flowers is better these days than a movie and chinese food.

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11/17/12 7:37 P

My husband was very supportive until......I had to buy new bras because I went down a cup size. He now acts like I'm anorexic and am turning into a "stick". It's starting to get annoying.

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11/8/12 10:08 P

He loves you for you! He sees you struggling and is trying to help. You have to love him for that, but yes you are right he is throwing you off track. I have a husband just the same as yours. He has a sweet tooth like you wouldn't believe and he does our shopping! He always buys things I love and should not have. It really tests my will power and my motivation to stay on track. He does also buy me healthy items so I may choose them. I completely understand where you are coming from. Just do the best you can keeping on track Remember just one day of a better lifestyle for you and is your success!

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11/8/12 2:14 P

My husband doesnt "try" to throw me off. But he says things like..."you cant be good allthe time" Or "just once wont hurt". I need motivation to walk away, not justification of why I can indulge. It is hard to see him continue to eat and snack the same way I used to...and stay strong enough to grab my fruit instead of ice cream, or my salad instead of pizza...

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11/8/12 8:25 A

Husbands that do that, really show that they care. They don't always understand our goals in our head and why we do certain things for ourselves. It was very thoughtful of him. Honestly I would accept it, and then let him know what is okay to order for me so I don't go off my plan. My husband often brings me chocolates or ice cream, I just accept small amounts a day and stretch it out, so I'm not over indulging.

current weight: 171.6

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11/7/12 5:44 P

I completely understand how this happens. After exiting a 7 year relationship, I looked at how much weight I had put on and realized that I had adopted many of the bad habits of my ex. With him out of the picture I was able to get back into the swing of things. However, when I entered into another relationship, I did well until we chose to cohabitate. I was still able to keep most of my eating habits (although there was a considerable addition to junk food brought into my place) but my workout habits went south. I do a lot of Zumba and Just Dance on my Wii but when the boyfriend moved in, he took over the TV. Once I realized this, I was able to put my foot down and take back my time. I have found that I have to request the TV and I have to be motivated to do it so motivation is the key.

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11/6/12 11:58 A

This is not my first attempt to lose weight since marrying my husband 14 yrs ago. I lost 120# in the 2 yrs before we married, and I did it with diet and exercise. Hubs has always had a weight problem, too, He was a "big guy" when we married and has over 100 lbs to lose, as well. He loves fast food, junk food, and hates exercise. I have to do this for ME, so that I can be healthy, so that I can mother my sons. I can't make my husband change, HE has to do that. He is still eating fast food. He isn't necessarily trying to sabotage my weight loss (39 lbs so far since August) but he has been bringing tempting foods into the house, wanting to eat out a lot. You know what? I just say, "I don't need that, I can't have that, that is not on my plan" IT was MY choice to gain weight, I can't blame that on anyone else, I didn't make healthy food choices and let food be my friend and comfort, instead of my fuel for 14 yrs. No one opened my mouth and poured that food in and then prevented me from exercising. I DID THAT!!! So now, it is MY CHOICE and option to choose healthy foods, eat better, eat what my body requires, and exercise so that I can be healthy and be a better me...So when I am tempted, and I am, believe me, I just can say "no thank you, I don't care for any of that. I don't need that, I don't want any, thanks! and MOVE ON! I use the time when they are eating poor choices to go walk or fold laundry or read a book...Just stand up for yourself, YOU have made a decision, you have made a choice you believe is right for you, be vocal and be an advocate for yourself!!! YOU DESERVE IT!!!!! YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!!

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10/19/12 8:21 A

I would call my husband unsupportive but for some interesting reasons. I struggle with my weight following pregnancy and it takes me about a year to lose all of the gained weight. He has trouble with his weight because of a junkfood habit.My health and weight has always been a priority where for him, once we married he didn't feel that his health and weight was an issue. We've had five children together and the last three were in 2009 2010 and 2011. Now that we are done building our family, losing the extra weight became really important and I felt like I've been hitting a brick wall. Whenever I cook a healthy meal or take time for the gym or say no to junk, he thinks I am wasting my time and also gets really weird about how married people only worry about that stuff if you are planning to leave. Good grief. After fighting for an entire year about this, I finally set my goals and joined sp and decided to just move forward. I do most of the cooking but because we eat out so often I have chosen to still participate by knowing that I decide what and how much. I say no only to the few things are triggers for binging. So we are at the store a couple of days ago and he holds up this bag of cherry mms. I said, no, not a chance. He says what do you mean these are your favorites. I said I just don't eat that stuff anymore. He frowns and says then what can buy you when I make you mad. I headed over to the sports equipment and said, I still need a yoga mat and smiled. It didn't go over very well but he's getting the idea of how important this is to me.

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10/9/12 2:16 A

Wow! This whole thing sounds familiar. My husband and I have been going rounds about things like this for about 6 months now. I really want to make life style changes for our whole family but when I can't even get "dad" on board how do I get the kids to see it? It is hard but I sat down with my children and explained to them in great detail about fat and what it does to your body and how exercise can really help. I also told them that they can still love the foods they eat now just less of them and they began to understand. My husband on other hand does not see it that way and thinks that as long as you exercise you can get whatever you want. I can not get him to see past this either. He does not exercise or eat healthy. My began to get very successful with my weight loss that he now is almost starting to get jealous saying things, "Oh, when you lose all your weight you will probably try to trade me for a newer model." Things like that annoy me so bad!!! Grrr........ Just remember you are doing this for yourself!!! I know it is hard but stick with your goals!!!

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10/4/12 3:48 P

I have been working on losing weight for a year and my husband still does it. I even went vegan for 3 weeks he kept getting mad at what I was cooking and even turned my kids against a few of the healthy options I was presenting for dinner (I let him cook him and the girls meat to go with many of the dishes) even when I came off of it when I found healthier versons of some foods he would openly complain about them before my 6 year old had even tasted it so guess who then refused to even try because daddy didn't like it. I finally told him one day that if he didn't like something he should just quietly get up and not announce it to the table or I would stop cooking for the rest of the house. As it is he helps out many nights because I like to have salad a few times a week and though my girls would eat it he would not. I finally said something because I couldn't stand it anymore - as I was losing weight he was gaining and it doesn't set a good example to the kids. The biggest reason I finally said something was because he had the nerve to say to me that I am always going for a run and talking about calories and this and that and when I said "as oppose to what" he then came back with "for years we did nothing" and I was quick to say "so I'm suppose to just keep getting fatter and more unhealthy and have the girls see that?" to which he repeated himself "but for years we did nothing" and I just looked at him and put up my arms with a look of WHAT?? I just couldn't take it anymore and the more I get fit and the more he gets unfit the less attractive I find him, I love how great he is with the kids but I just don't find a man that sits on the couch with his computer and watch the rest of his family go out and about while he does nothing. I even had my 16 year old niece living with us for 2 months and every time I asked him if he wanted to go power walk with me he said no, even my niece came with me a few times! I don't see myself wanting to spend the rest of my life with someone like this, I know we were both fine doing nothing for years but now that I have snapped out of it I am having a hard time with the fact that I let myself get that out of shape and I don't understand how someone can watch a spouse spend a year and lose almost 40lbs and not want to capitalize on how much I have learned and how much I could help him get back in shape. He talks the talk but never walks the walk and I'm having a hard time hearing how to stretch and do other things and how he can touch his toes and I can't but yet at 6lbs away from morbidly obese he does nothing about it. We even have weights and kettle bells, wii fit, a treadmill, an elliptical and so many other things that could help him nevermind all the healthy food I buy that is at his disposal. He hasn't even been to the doctor in over 7 years but hopefully soon that will change since I kind of forced the issue because I have a feeling his numbers are not going to look so good!!

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10/3/12 2:23 P

I wish my hubby new how serious I am about losing this weight. I was 125 when I met him 12 years ago and a marriage and a baby later i am 203. It is so hard because my whole life I was thin up until the past 12 years. It is very depressing. I have asked him to be my concience when it comes to saying NO to foods and to be supportive when I stop at one helping at dinner. Instead I get well have just a little more hunny or a little wont hurt. IT DOES.. I cant seem to make him understand I need the suport from him.

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10/2/12 9:53 A

oh husbands.... i have a harder time as well when mine is home, but I do a lot of things just for me now. I sometimes even cook for him and the kids and make myself something else and eat with them or do something while they eat, even though we try to eat as a family. You could also try to only have a little of the food he brings home... but good luck with that. :S

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9/18/12 9:19 P

Wow. I thought it wasjust me. My husband told me the only reason he didnt go to the gym was because he missed me after work; so I cut coupons, walked to the grocery store and did everything i could to budget in a gym membership for me and childcare for our two boys. No everyday I am begging him to join me at the gym, but there is always an excuse!Thankfully I used our eating out budget to pay the gym membership so he doesnt throw me off in the nutrition department.It has only been a month and I am hoping as time goes going to the gym will be a habit and it wont be so hard to leave the couch! Pray for perseverance

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9/18/12 11:29 A

In the beginning, my husband brought home things I loved and couldn't eat anymore and it killed me because I know it was just him being sweet. I used to hide a lot of the food, such as chocolate bars and such, and then give them to the kids as a treat. When he saw how committed I was to losing, he slowly tapered off. Now he knows if the kids get fast food (rarely) he gets me a salad from my favorite salad shop. It did take time though.

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9/16/12 11:25 A

Hmm my husband has been incredibly supportive but on the other hand I've tried to make the transition as painless as possible for him too. He likes pizza so I experimented until I found a recipe for pizza that I can fit into my diet plan and make at home then everyone gets to put what they want on it. He also has a habit of snacking on chips throughout the day and I'd find myself doing the same thing so I cut a deal with him. I'd buy chips for him at the store but only the kinds I didn't like. We don't have a lot of money with only him working, and me going to school and raising a toddler so when he wants to do things out of the budget like going out to eat I bribe him that he can take some of that money and go buy a pack of magic cards instead.

It is of course important for a spouse to be supportive but don't forget how difficult it is to change your own habits, then imagine having to change them but for someone elses goals. It's not necessarily that they don't care or are trying to sabotage it's just that they aren't living the experience being reminded every day how important it is. Your reward comes from the scale, find a more tangible reward for him and as long as he's not a douche he will help.

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9/14/12 9:31 P

Ugh, mine too. He sees me exercising, cooking healthy stuff, listens to me (obviously he's not really listening, though!) and then it's "hey let's get (unhealthy crap) for supper". "there's nothing to eat, let's go out", etc. It's like, really, are you even serious? Can't tell if purposely sabotaging, or just stupid...

Same with exercise - Me: "Come on hun, do this video with me, it's like 10 minutes". Him: "Nooo, I'm sooooo tired", "I don't want to", "My foot hurts", etc.

I just don't understand how to get through to him! But I'm pretty much done trying. It's like, you know, he's an adult and I'm not his mother, if he wants to make stupid choices, die young & leave me a lonely cat lady widow, fine, whatever.

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8/31/12 6:08 P

I'm right there with everyone else! My husband is generally supportive, but right up to the point where it affects him. So when I don't buy chips or ice cream, or when he needs to be "on duty" with DD so I can run, he feels put-upon.

One of my major goals for this fall is to secret-Spark the guy... encouraging him to do more hiking with the dog, eat healthier, etc. At some point, we could even be in this together!

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8/30/12 6:48 P

I have the same issue as MRSHUNT11, I do great when my husband is away... I eat better and make better choices. I have lost 24 pounds since December, but the weight loss has slowed down considerably since my husband has been home more... Even when I am not thinking about food he'll say something like, "want to go get icecream. I'm hungry how about you, wanna go grab a bite to eat.... ect" the list goes on. He is not over weight so he doesn't think twice about eating whatever he wants... finally I decided to ask him when we do go out to buy one meal and we split it... no more large portions for us. He also hides some of his favorite snack in his truck and out of my sight.... lol, I laugh when I look out the window and see him munching, I know he is out there being supportive...

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8/22/12 5:16 P

well mine says to me "you need to help me lose weight " and then when I try to he calls me the food nazi I have 100+ to lose and he needs to also so I have to do it for myself and let him make his own cholses. what my hubby will do is when we are out he will want to stop for ice cream or some kind of goodies--once won't hurt he says.

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5/3/12 10:10 P

Mine does the same thing and he is 120 lbs soaking wet. It makes me sick. I can watch him eat and gain weight.

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4/25/12 12:48 P

I can totally relate to the husband thowing you off track. My husband loves to cook and wants to do most of the cooking in the house. So, when he cooks and I just eat a little, then he comes back and wants to know why I didn't eat. I tell him that I am trying to loose some weight and he insist I didn't eat cause I didn't like it. SO, I can totally relate. Don't get me wrong, he understands that I need to loose the weight, but sometimes I don't think that he really thinks about it before he speaks.

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4/25/12 12:11 P

I admire your ability to stay focused. My husband is constantly bringing home chips and other treats. He shops at costco so the bags are huge. The temptation is often too much for me. I have tried a hundred different ways to get him to stop but the man doesn't seem to get it. Its hard to try to set an example of what is healthy eating for your children when they are being tempted as well.

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4/24/12 10:09 P

My husband frequently brings me treats too. Its not that he is undermining me, he is just baffled by my continued obsession with diet and exercise. What I usually do is snap off a piece(hershey bars is what he brings) and put the rest in the freezer over the fridge. By breaking it into 4 or more servings, its really not affecting my efforts much and Im not making him feel bad by refusing his gesture. Just how i handle the treat thing. Pizza on the other hand, is more difficult..
I have tried to get him to join me, at least in the healthy eating, but generally have to sneak it in on him. A recipe book called healthy homestyle cooking has been great for this. He is an above the knee amputee, so getting him to exercise has been a challenge. Its not that he couldnt, it would just require more effort than he is willing to give. So, Im on my own, but thats ok. We need to rely on ourselves first and foremost. Support is wonderful and sometimes necessary, but we need to be our own best cheering section.

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4/21/12 4:32 P

I agree with Fezza but not with KK. LOL It's up to ourselves to attain our goals, stop blaming our failures on others. And no, it's not in men's dna. ;-) For one, I am the one in my family that is more determined to do things right than my wife is and she is the one that is always offering me things she knows I don't eat. I still love her though, even after I back hand her. J/K

Since our kids are now grown up and out of the house, it's just us and we still have our disagreements over food and such. She is also watching what she eats and regularly exercise to get to her ideal weight. But she is not as dedicated and meticulous as I am and sometimes resents my information I try to share with her. We are just going at things a bit differently and like is expected, we are different people. So when she gets her bag of chips when she watches tv and offers me some I just say it's not in my plan today. But if I was able to put them in, I would take my 7 chips and enjoy them as she eats them out of the bag. She is coming around though, I catch her counting chips more and more. LOL

My wife also like to fix dishes and it makes it hard for me to figure out all the ingredients to count. She never measures and sometimes gets annoyed when I grill her about what's in it. She just says, just take a little and don't worry about it. REALLY, no way. So most the time we make our own food. She is getting better at paying attention to what she puts in now though, and while she still doesn't measure, I am happy with, "about 1/2 cup of .......", I can work with that.

By the way, my wife's birthday was this week so we are going to go eat at Red Lobster tomorrow. I'm not sure yet what I will be eating, but I will make allowances for it today and tomorrow to make room for the unexpected. Keep the Faith.

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4/21/12 2:42 P

I am lucky to have such a supportive husband but just like all of you sometimes he will bring something home to just be sweet. I have a small portion of whatever it is and tell him we can save it for another time or that I will bring some for lunch the next day.

It does help though that he is active duty Navy and also has to pass PT tests and maintain his weight at a certain level. I can always tell when his next test is coming up - he is all about eating chicken breast and he limits buying any extra treats.

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4/19/12 9:44 A

I think its in some mens dna to throw us off. You just have to be determined enough to say i dont want it. We all have the give in days but lets try and keep those away lol. Mine was yesterday. Im staying on track today

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4/18/12 2:08 P

I feel your pain, the same thing happens to me too. My fiance works nights and on those days I do a great job eating like I should; but on the days he has off we splurge a little. I have gotten a lot better at it, but it's tough. Since I am the only one needing to lose weight I just let him eat what he wants. If I am eating what he is eating, I will have a very small portion with a salad and veggies.

Edited by: ENTIUM at: 4/18/2012 (14:10)

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4/18/12 11:04 A

I'm with FEZZA11. My husband is not supportive at all. I can't share in this with him, cause he always has something crappy to say. So I haven't even bothered to include him. It probably says a lot about our relationship...:0( But hopefully he will see the changes and be more interested in what I'm accomplishing and maybe even join me on this journey. I think he just hates change.

So I remind myself this is for me and my kids. They at least need one fully involved parent. I'm gonna get back to where I was 2 yrs ago. Running along the sidelines as my daughter scored her first soccer goal, teaching my little one how to hit a baseball and run the bases. These are the things "I" want and "I" will achieve them. No one else can derail me no matter how condescending he is...

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4/17/12 7:08 P

I guess I have finally come to realize that I'm on this wellness & nutrition journey by myself anyway. Nice if he can join - goodness knows, he's the one with the health issues far deeper than me! I just love that I FEEL so much better when I make wise and healthful decisions. Eventually, maybe his interest will be piqued? If so, great. Otherwise, I need to remind myself to stick to my OWN goals, and remember how it feels to be in control, healthy, and mindful. Truth is, a spouse cannot truly sabotage one's own efforts..I'm discovering that was just a handy excuse I used to use.

Posts: 177
4/13/12 6:31 P

There's always food temptation around us, and it's always easiest to blame the people around us when we CHOOSE to eat it. I actually work in a Chinese restaurant, so I know how hard the temptation of sweet and sour chicken and crab puffs is to ignore. But I've learned to ignore it, and you can too.

The trick is planning. If you know what you're having for dinner, and he brings home a pizza, that can't change your plan. Eventually, when you refuse the food time after time, he'll get the point. He'll either start eating that stuff on his own time, or (hopefully) he'll look at the progress you've made and decide to jump on the bandwagon.

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1/12/12 12:48 P

I'm right there with you. My husband has assured me that he will do his best to help me with my health & fitness goals and sometimes he'll do what your husband did. When those instances occur where my husband ends up hindering my health and fitness goals instead of helping I just let him know as gently as possible. For instance, he may have just forgotten I'm on a diet in the hustle and bustle that is life so just a reminder that I'll be eating a smaller portion of what he brought and putting the rest up for the next day because of my wellness goals might be better than a flat out no. Point being just try your best to be honest. More than likely he will appreciate that instead of possibly being a factor in hindering your wellness goals.

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1/11/12 7:21 A

So far I am venturing alone in my endeavor. Not motivated himself.

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1/10/12 5:41 P

Give him a hug and say thanks darling but remember I am a woman on a mission and 2012 is the year I refused to be denied. I know you mean well and I really do appreciate you but I am sorry I can't compromise what I want most for anything that will stymie my dreams.

Just keep being loving sweet and kind but locked in focused toward your goal. Just imagine how thrilled you will all be once you reach goal. Keep us posted I wish you the best

Posts: 479
1/10/12 3:37 P

My husband does this. When I was serious about tracking I would say "no I don't want it" when he tried to give me a "treat". I had to get sort of rude because I asked him nicely so many times. Now he's much better, and will often bring me home an interesting new fruit or cut me up an apple as a treat.

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1/8/12 8:33 P

Maybe you could thank him for being so thoughtful to bring home dinner, but let him know gently that you had already made/planned your dinner in keeping with you goal to lose weight. Then watch the movie together after dinner.

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Posts: 51
1/6/12 6:17 P

Could you just eat a small portion of the chinese and then add some of your other sides you had planned to make the rest of the meal. Also, with the ice cream just figure out how much a serving size is and only eat that or cut it in half. Maybe you could also slip the idea to him that even though its nice it cant happen that often.

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1/6/12 12:25 P

You know what? I truly believe that allowing yourself a LITTLE BIT of what he brought home is not going to throw you off that much. I know. I'm huge now, but about 5 years ago, I did lose 100+ pounds after I had my son with the help of spark. A knee injury threw me off my exercise routine, and then stressful situations overwhelmed me and I just stopped caring...but even when I was on that path to lose 112.5lbs after I had my son-if my beloved brought home a treat for me, I accepted it with gratitude but just didn't eat that much of it.
I understand that we are on a really long road right now. I do...but I refuse to accept that food is the enemy. I believe it's sweet that your hubby thought of you. Ask him that if he's going to opt for Chinese, to get you the steamed chicken and veggies no sauce next time, instead of heavy fried stuff drenched in high sugar and sodium sauces.

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1/6/12 10:17 A

Sometimes my hubby does the same thing! I have learned to say "no thank you" and let him know that my health is my priority. Although you could still watch the movie

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1/5/12 7:08 P

I can completely understand. I actually put together a meal plan for the week using Spark's receipts. My husband took a look at the grocery list and wanted to know why I needed 3 cups of green beans. I almost lost it. I sucked in my breath, pursed my lips, and closed my eyes. I told him that I need his support and that he too is obese and we need to lose weight together. When he came home with the groceries he gave me a kiss and said Okay, get us healthy.

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1/5/12 6:50 P

Could you post your meal plan on the refrigerator? You can go up to a week and a half using the food tracker as a meal plan and even print out a shopping list from it. He can choose to eat the same things or choose something else.

Would he be interested in joining SP? It's not just for weight loss and nutrition.

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1/5/12 4:46 P

I have been trying really hard to start eating right and tracking my foods, I do great on the days that my husband is at work, but yesterday he had a day off and he brought Chinese food, and ice cream and a movie. I have told him i was trying to lose weight and he said that it was good and he will help as much as he can, but then he does this. I know he was trying to be sweet, but how can i tell him no without hurting his feelings.

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