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Posts: 503
11/18/09 9:41 A

We've had more than a few posts on this since I've been here. I also have run across many women in that boat. I have my mantras - like:

It's not selfish, its self preservation!

Women were not placed on this earth to be bonsai!

If your compassion and love do not include yourself, they are incomplete!

I have to disclaim that I live alone and have for many years, but I've seen the harm that being buried in so many cares can do. The ones who seem to do best are those that set and defend their borders best, but it is never easy.

Good luck, stay strong, and enjoy your time; you'll find that you're worth it.

current weight: 146.0

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Posts: 716
11/18/09 9:35 A

I used to be a parent that felt guilty for taking any time for myself. A couple of years ago, I looked at myself and thought, there's more to me than this. I have a very demanding life, kids, family, work, etc., and after 46 years of letting everyone depend on me (yes, I've been this way my whole life), I decided it's now about me. My girls are 12 and 21, they don't need me as much, I'm divorced, and for the first time ever, I'm doing things for me, and I no longer feel guilty -- it's for my sanity, because the alternative "ain't pretty", lol! Good luck to you, and enjoy any spare minute you can find!

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Posts: 17
11/18/09 3:57 A

Hello everyone,

Is there anything wrong with just taking time for yourself once you are married and have children? Sometimes, it gets so frustrating from your husband wanting something every single minute, its like what happened to the independent bachelor I married? to your two year old following you in the shower. Sometimes I just want a break from all of it. No one talks about this, or what I find is most women I have encountered, just think that this is it. Well, I'm here to say that there is nothing wrong with taking time for yourself. I often miss the times I could just know going home from work and it would be quiet and I could exercise and just be. Now, I fight to just get my time to do what I need to do for myself. I want to conquer my weight and get on a path to wellness. And that is what I will continue to do. But, its amazing how no one tells you all of this before you get married, and have children....well I tell women who are contemplating marriage to remember to take time for yourself or you will just get lost in all of it. Its funny, everyone asks about the dress, how many guests, how many children do you want.....but nothing about the challenges and compromises you have to make or the truth about labor! :) Its all wonderful, marriage babies, but don't compromise what you want for yourself at the expense of others...after all what kind of wife, mother can you be if you are out of shape, stressed and tired all the time. Just wanted to speak my mind as a first time wife and mother. You are more than just a mother and a wife-I remind myself of that everyday! My new favorite word is NO, if you its not going to inspire me, or its negative I run as fast as I can. :) Anyone else experience this feeling lately?